My brother and sisters, I want you to check me and advise me if I am too jealous or out of my mind. My wife Ex husband slept in our house when I was away in another state, 11 hours our from where we live in Georgia, because my step daughter was having a birthday party in an hotel, and her brother which is 16year was at home in our house, but my wife said he can't be in the house all by him self, and the alternative solution was to allow her Ex to sleep in our house, but my wife told me she slept in the hotel with my step daughter and I had warned her before when she brought up that suggestion and idea but she eventually did it, what do you think and what is your advise for me? Thank you

YOU ARE OUT OF UR MIND. U LACK WISDOM AND AM SORRY TO SAY THIS, U ARE A FOOL. DONT U SE GIRLS,LADYS EVERY WERE LOOKING FOR HUSBAND ? AND U WANT TO MARRY SOMEBODY WIFE AM SORRY FOR U , U DONT NO THE SIN U ARE INTO NOW.

ihedioramma: YOU ARE OUT OF UR MIND. U LACK WISDOM AND AM SORRY TO SAY THIS, U ARE A FOOL. DONT U SE GIRLS,LADYS EVERY WERE LOOKING FOR HUSBAND ? AND U WANT TO MARRY SOMEBODY WIFE AM SORRY FOR U , U DONT NO THE SIN U ARE INTO NOW.

why are you insulting the ops.
@op call ur wife and speak to her seriously she might be lieing that she slept in a hotel they might still be having some feeling for eah other. Do you think such divoice with children involve is quite easy. Threaten her seriously for some women are very difficult to tame especialy in nigeria.

Too many ex and step in this tori.
What stopped your step daughter from going and sleeping at home while their dad(your wife's ex husband) sleeps alone at the hotel or even gi back to wherever he came from?

You should have sorted out the sleeping arrangement before leaving town.

So,where dis your step son sleep?Try to forget the incidence or what else can you do

lesson learnt.Next time plan things ahead.

OP which is your problem, is it that you think they are having an affair or that she disobeyed your command not to have the ex sleep in your house? Because if things played out exactly the way you said in your original post, I really don't see the need for opening this thread. It was simply the most convenient and safe option at the time. Let it go.

Now if you think there are bedroom shenanigans going on, that's another matter.

ifyalways: Too many ex and step in this tori.
What stopped your step daughter from going and sleeping at home while their dad(your wife's ex husband) sleeps alone at the hotel or even gi back to wherever he came from?

You should have sorted out the sleeping arrangement before leaving town.

So,where dis your step son sleep?Try to forget the incidence or what else can you do

lesson learnt.Next time plan things ahead.

I think it's kinda like girls night out and mom is not comfortable with the boy be on his own , as per stepdad in town for his daughter's grad , wife suggested why not crash at the house? So OP is suspecting his wife went back to the house that night to be with the man.

OP ,ewwww! I mean who thinks like that? your wife? Do you really love & trust this woman? That's too degrading for you to think that way , let it go.

I really appreciate your responce and I love you guys for taking your time to reply, I will learn from your advise and draw my conclusion from there, but its hurts and makes me to feel less like a real naija man and Yoruba man. Thanks

I am the iyawo in question. I'd like to provide the clarification to some points that some of you made.
@Ome: I slept in a room with two other moms. They could vouch that I was there all night. Plus DH and I spoke on the phone several times that night too. I am not from Naija. I am an American. Even so I would say that I am probably "difficult to tame" as I am a person with her own opinions and not a domesticated animal. However, I have always been true to my marriage vows and to him.
@Ify: The point of us being at the hotel is that it was the venue for the party. The theme was a hotel sleepover party. So there is no point in having the Ex at the party. He needed to watch our son who could not stay at a hotel with 10 young girls. Also, the Ex was coming anyway because (DH neglected to include) he was supposed to take our daughter to a daddy-daughter dance the next night anyway. So he came up the night before (he live 3.5 hours away) to wish her happy birthday and stay with our son while I am at the hotel with all the girls and a couple of other moms. After the party was over the next day he took DD to the dance and drove back to his home.
@Jidegirl: You took the words right out of my mouth..."Who thinks that way?!"

There are plenty of ppl to verify that I stayed at the hotel from our daughter to the other moms. Also my Ex had no access to our bedroom or matrimonial bed. From what our son said, he stayed on the couch but at some point went to our daughter's room. He is a very involved father and often visits his children. But he does not treat my home like his. He is only ever in the living room, the children's room, or sometimes the bathroom. He doesn't eat our food. I don't cook for him. In fact he usually takes the kids out to eat by themselves. I don't accompany them as I see it as their time with him. He and I have a cordial relationship and do whatever to make sure the kids have whatever they need.
This situation was simply a matter of the most convenient solution to a logistical problem. Instead of it being no big deal I get abuses rained on my head. I am called "a betrayer", taunted about "having a boyfriend", told he would never buy a house with me because I would have all sorts of men sleeping there, and other hurtful and shocking things. It was really too much, too childish, and not what a loving husband should say to his supposed sweetheart!

Iyawomi.... Abeg no vex, he's just a jealous type and you know that too so I think you guys should make more condusive arrangements when kids are having parties, both of you should talk about this ex sleeping in your house if bros don't feel okay with it , I understand him very well, its kinda weird for him and he's just trying to respect your choice and please no more comments .

Bros, you do wrong o! she's your wife, if you have doubts bout her address it rather than washing your dirty laundry here , you don't want some people start to insult you or stroking your wife's ego unnecessary cos they're good at it here. A word is enough for a wise. If you don't want the man over the house , make other arrangements that works for both of ya, you don't have to be like the jonsses .

Thanks Jidegirl and all others,
I think we can close this thread. For my husband it was not a matter of "airing our dirty laundry" but rather to get an anonymous and unbiased opinion. We were both at an impasse about the situation and he needed another perspective. Instead of going to ppl we know who may then have negative impressions about one or the other of us that could affect our marriage down the road, he sought advice from ppl we don't know and who have no stake in our relationship.
I didn't mean it to hurt him and I thought it would be no big deal. It will never happen again.
Thank you and have a blessed day!

iyawomide: Thanks Jidegirl and all others,
I think we can close this thread. For my husband it was not a matter of "airing our dirty laundry" but rather to get an anonymous and unbiased opinion. We were both at an impasse about the situation and he needed another perspective. Instead of going to ppl we know who may then have negative impressions about one or the other of us that could affect our marriage down the road, he sought advice from ppl we don't know and who have no stake in our relationship.
I didn't mean it to hurt him and I thought it would be no big deal. It will never happen again.
Thank you and have a blessed day!

You're very welcome my Iyawo, click on below link to request for it to be closed. Cheers
https://www.nairaland.com/751757/please-post-complaints-here-please

Sorry sir but, are you expecting anything different in relationships such as this?.Good luck

nobniger: Sorry sir but, are you expecting anything different in relationships such as this?.Good luck

I can't say it better

Wow.
@iyawomide u are indeed a good woman because u handled d situation very well.
I guess our men should just learn to trust us more and pls appreciate ur woman more.
Wish u guys d best in ur marriage

Wow!
Im appealing to d couple here o, so, i never knew couples can meet on a thread. From d 2nd post of iyawomide, i think this is how they wanted to sort things out.
Goodluck to you .