Freiburger:
lol, what's wrong with it if he commands you in the right direction?
I think these kind of command is not that military type as it sounds.

maclatunji: Fellis, they have tried every trick in the book and still cannot agree. In fact the world has 'never' seen this kind of disagreement before. Whose perogative is it to decide? Man or Woman. Choose one.

I have said it is the man. Do you agree? Just say 'yes' or 'no'.

deols:

Everyone knows what is right. I don't think a command is needed for what is right. an adultvis expected to do what is right.

enkoby:

I will answer your question directly. In matters like this, where we have all deliberated on the issue, both of us giving good points for and against, I will simply tell him 'U know what? Let's do it your way. I trust your judgment'. this is called submission. I am not giving in to his wishes becos he is an 'area commander', No. I am recognising his position as the head of the family and admitting that he has the necessary competence to make the right decision. Its like massaging his ego, it makes him feel in charge and in control. men are built to be in charge, give him that power to make decisions, and u will see him asking for ur ideas in controversial matters. if u drag 'head' with him, he will always assert his supremacy, which even God had designed to be so. funny that sometimes wen i say ok, lets do it ur way, he'll turn around and say no, lets take ur own option.

Freiburger:
That is not always the case, we 're human and are prone to making mistakes without even knowing. I just can't digest why most women detest that word COMMAND, hope these same women saw this in the bible ''Wives, Obey Your Husbands Ephesians 5:22''. some will call it ''Wife Submit To Your Husband''... what a complicated world.

Freiburger:
That is not always the case, we 're human and are prone to making mistakes without even knowing. I just can't digest why most women detest that word COMMAND, hope these same women saw this in the bible ''Wives, Obey Your Husbands Ephesians 5:22''. some will call it ''Wife Submit To Your Husband''... what a complicated world.

deols:

and I modified that post.

about d word command, we are at an era when political correctness is d order of the day. so why wont men stop using the word command while knowing women don't like it. would it be right for men to always want to do what women may dislike?

we all know of what the religious books say of who should lead the home. I have only been emphasising on using wisdom along the way. and like Zayhal said, a reasonable man should be able to allow them both draw up the advantages and disadvantages while deciding what is best for them.

marriage isnt a war front and women arent sheep. They are married for such characters as their intelligence and ability to reason.

maclatunji:

Speaking from both sides of your mouth? Bring evidence of what you say. I have not quoted a single verse of the Qur'an in this thread. All I have done is bring a case and asked a very simple question whilst robustly giving my opinion.

maclatunji: Nobody has said a woman cannot challenge her husband. However, no matter how you want to twist and turn, you cannot say that Allah has not instructed wives to obey their husbands and say you are teaching Islam.

boye25: I'm impressed with Maclatunji's comments thus far. Unfortunately, most of the comments by ladies have been combatant which is usually a sign that they know they're wrong but are trying to justify it.

Its not rocket science, God made man the head of the house and gave women the skill to get a man to do what she wants, perfection without conflict!!!

mdsocks:

Ok...On a Pc now.. To answer you..Look at your post here...



In which way does Allah pass message to us? Ain't it through his Prophets and Books? So am I wrong if i said the verse and in this case we all know the verse you are referring to even if you didn't quote it here.




Am laughing at the bolded comment.... So God also made man the head of the house to argue and show authority on frivolous issues like how many meat is served to each member of the house??

I am not holding brief here for the ladies but most assertions from the guys on this thread seem so far-fetched . Nobody say make you no command but at least it's not to show "yes am the head of the house" in issues that needs careful consideration and not show of authority. Your wife ain't disputing your authority with you and nor the ladies in here from their replies only that they wouldn't like/appreciate you commanding in situations that need the inputs of you two.

maclatunji:

What do we call this kind of presentation?

Call it any name.....I am expecting something random from you.. Might add it to my vocab... lol

I am not trying to appeal to anyone's ego here and would say it the way I feel although it might look contradictory to you but it's clear...

Religiously...if it's something that goes against the rulings of Islam, You can command her to do right but God does not explicitly say you should command her in "all" issues even if it bothers on trivial issues like the one you stated (school issues) even though the two of you don't agree on the same line of action that's why HE said show love, kindness and guidance.

So I hope you can draw the line.

"Should a man command his wife?" is a question that requires an answer that's explanatory not polar like you want us to answer.

mdsocks:

Ok...On a Pc now.. To answer you..Look at your post here...



In which way does Allah pass message to us? Ain't it through his Prophets and Books? So am I wrong if i said the verse and in this case we all know the verse you are referring to even if you didn't quote it here.




Am laughing at the bolded comment.... So God also made man the head of the house to argue and show authority on frivolous issues like how many meat is served to each member of the house??

I am not holding brief here for the ladies but most assertions from the guys on this thread seem so far-fetched . Nobody say make you no command but at least it's not to show "yes am the head of the house" in issues that needs careful consideration and not show of authority. Your wife ain't disputing your authority with you and nor the ladies in here from their replies only that they wouldn't like/appreciate you commanding in situations that need the inputs of you two.

mdsocks:

Call it any name.....I am expecting something random from you.. Might add it to my vocab... lol

I am not trying to appeal to anyone's ego here and would say it the way I feel although it might look contradictory to you but it's clear...

Religiously...if it's something that goes against the rulings of Islam, You can command her to do right but God does not explicitly say you should command her in "all" issues even if it bothers on trivial issues like the one you stated (school issues) even though the two of you don't agree on the same line of action that's why HE said show love, kindness and guidance.

So I hope you can draw the line.

"Should a man command his wife?" is a question that requires an answer that's explanatory not polar like you want us to answer.

Babaji111: Nice write up. If all muslim women abides by these, then there will be peace in our homes. Though my wife has good characters

Rukemi291:

By the time a aman starts giving orders like these....uhm, he has definitely started cheating.
God will punish any idio.tic stu.pid girl that makes anybody's husband start giving orders like that...

Babaji111: Though my wife has good characters

maclatunji:

Cute and I am sure welcome by many ladies but totally ineffective. Where leadership is in doubt, anarchy will prevail. By the time you cannot even watch TV in your own bedroom without a grand debate, you will not be taught to review your position.

#LOL

Gabriel_sylar: What is “musliminous” about dis behaviours

bukatyne: Now you have made comment. Stop blaming women who have extra martial affairs with married men. A married man and not the woman has made the commitment to be faithful to his wife so the men should be held accountable and not some random woman.

fellis:
Marriages should be about companionship and understanding. When any major decision is made, there should be an agreement between both the husband and wife about that decision. Both parties should be happy about any decision that is taken in the marriage for there to be contentment and to avoid development of any resentment from one spouse towards the other.
A husband should talk things out with his wife and try to make sure his wife is ok with whatever decision he wants to make, the same way a wife should make sure her husband is ok with the decisions she makes concerning the marriage.
There shouldn't be any 'commanding' done by any of them, husband or wife. Marriage lasts longer when there is companionship and understanding, not when one party is busy commanding the other to do their bidding.

coolheed: May Allah bless the author of this thread.
I think it is important to state scriptural evidences on the rights and responsibilities of the husband and the wife. These two elements are combined in the quranic and biblical verses below:

“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.” (An-Nisa’: 34).
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" Ephesians 5 v 22

It is not uncommon that women of this generation find it difficult to obey their husbands all in the name of civilization and gender equality. This is one of the key reasons why divorce rate is higher in recent times.
I heard some people say "he cannot command me but he can lead me with care and love". This is all syntactic gymnastics. I disagree that husbands cannot command the wife but my question is this "Can the husband instruct/lead/direct/oversee the affairs of the wife?. If the answer is yes, then it means the same thing as command. In trying to balance the view of the womenfolk, the word "command" could also connote "being authoritative" and "dictatorial". As we know that some men also misuse this God-given right. A good husband communicates, listens and deliberates with his wife. However, this does not take away his right as the head and leader of the family affairs. The important thing is that women should be obedient and submissive to their husbands. They should not display arrogance where submission is required. In as much as your husband does not instruct you to go against the will of Almighty Allah.

In the same vein, the husband is responsible for the provision of food, clothing and shelter for the family. This is the way of the Lord. If a man is not capable of supporting his family, he should pray to God for sustenance as it will greatly affect his right to lead the house as the two goes parri-passu. Little wonder why some financially buoyant wives choose not to submit to their husbands, afterall he does not provide for their material needs. This is not the way of the Lord as we have read from history very rich women who submittted to their husbands despite their financial status.