by Stanley Azuakola

Since we gave you the top 10 people in politics to watch out for in 2013, we believe that to be fair and balanced, you also deserve to know the 10 who you shouldn’t bother yourself with. Keeping tabs on these guys is simply unproductive, avoid it at all cost. In line with ignoring them, we’ve avoided quoting them at all in this piece; the world is safer that way.

1. Labaran Maku:

Maku is Nigeria’s Information Minister and consequently, the director of government propaganda. This is not a crime on its own. But there’s something about the way Maku does his job which doesn’t endear him to anyone unlike say, Dora Akunyili or Jerry Gana. The fact that he’s a serial flip-flopper just worsens his considerable baggage. We are sure Maku will have plenty to say this year, we’re sure he’ll also be strategising for his next political move (governor of Nasarawa perhaps), but whatever he does, it’s best to ignore him.

2. Femi Fani-Kayode:

Femi-fani-kayode

The only thing scary about ignoring FFK is what he might do to himself if he finds out you’re doing that to him. Year after year Fani-Kayode gives us some of the most ludicrous quotes of the year. Knowing how much he loves himself, don’t be surprised if you hear that despite the weight of the allegations of corruption against him, he throws himself once again into the ring for the Osun governorship election scheduled for next year. Whether he does or not, you can save the world from confident ignorance, by ignoring FFK today.

3. Ibrahim Babangida:

This month is the anniversary of IBB’s official retirement from politics. It feels good to know that 2015 is around the corner and we don’t have to be looking over our shoulders worried that the Maradona would make another appearance. May it remain so.

4. Edwin Clark:

Clark



Nigerians should be worried that Chief Clark has refused to retire in peace, seriously. At 85, we believe ignoring Clark will be doing him a favour and would be good for his health. We could really do with less of his tribalistic utterances. Besides, the guy does not even have much of a political weight having led a faction of his party to two successive electoral losses. So next time he tries to organize another relevance-inducing endorsement summit or something, just press the snooze button.

5. Nuhu Ribadu: I’m sure some would not be pleased to see Ribadu’s name on this list, but seriously, we think Ribadu should just go and get a teaching job somewhere, join a think-thank or continue in his UN mediator role. Politics doesn’t really look good on him and let’s face it, he is pretty bad at it. So when it comes to politics in Nigeria this year, it’s best to ignore him. Just saying.

6. Adamu Ciroma: Ciroma is the Northern version of Clark. The father of the failed pre-2011 PDP Northern consensus candidate farce. Everything we said for Clark is true for him.

7. Orji Uzor Kalu: This former governor, who hopes to become Nigeria’s president someday is – pardon us – a joke. It’s a pity we are not putting up any quotes from these men otherwise you’ll have a good laugh hearing some of Kalu’s utterances, including the one he said last week. His chosen successor in Abia has rendered him impotent in the state so he plans to conquer Nigeria and nationalize his brand of incompetence. Err… no, thanks.

8. Asari Dokubo: [/b]It’s Nigeria’s bad luck that this ex freedom fighter is a newsmaker. Only in Nigeria. Dokubo knows how to say all the wrong things when a microphone is thrust into his mouth. It’s important that journalists understand this and stop making him talk. But heaven helps those who help themselves, right? Help yourself then, ignore Asari Dokubo now and forever.
[b]
9. Dino Melaye:

Dino

Verily I say unto you, be suspicious of anyone who even takes Melaye seriously. Ignoring Melaye is a good way to serve your country especially as he tries desperately to rebrand himself as a social crusader. Actions must have consequence, that’s why we refuse to have amnesia. We can’t forget that Melaye confessed to rigging elections in this country; that he fought publicly as a public servant; that he wasn’t known to have a voting record in the House of representatives or have a position that was contrary to the official line of the party (PDP) he now claims represents all that’s wrong with Nigeria. You can’t have your cake and eat it, Dino. No way!

10. Nigeria Television Authority (NTA):

NTA

We’ll leave you with the words of one of our regular Scoopers, Ikemesit Effiong, who wrote in his piece yesterday that, “ I declared a personal embargo on the NTA network news seventeen years ago… My parents and close friends have unsuccessfully tried to reconnect me back to the national grid. Let us be frank. Network news is no more than an artificial cosmetic construct packaged to make you ‘think’ that the government is hard at work. It isn’t.” Enough said

ondo_boi: el rufai nko?

ondo_boi: el rufai nko?

Maduale: Op, you are wrong. This list is fundamentally faulty for ever including Maku. Labaran Maku is the first information Minuster to catch my fancy in Nigeria.
He exemplifies humility and passion. whenever he speaks, you could feel the passion to deliver. I love him a lot. The hatred against him is understandable given the desperation of some not to see anything good in Jonathan. But he appears very intelligent and speaks smartly.

dridowu: NTA and LABARAN MAKU COMBINE TOGETHER SHOULD BE NUMBER 1

Mallamabdul: My own list is as follows:
1. Nasir El Rufai ( for all his lies)
2. Dino Melaye (for all his grandstanding)
3. Buhari ( for his bigotry)
4. APC (for mediocrity)
5. Lai Mohammed (for propaganda and blackmail)
6. GBAWE (for legendary stupidity on Nairaland)
7. DEMDEM (for lying as a proffession)
8. Fani kayode(for being a shameless yesterday man)
9. SAHARAREPORTERS (destination of falsehood)
10. Tinubu (for being a mischievous rogue)

Countryman93:
Common s.hut your dirty mouth. What do you know about NTA/MAKU? These are institutions that exist to inform you about activities of government. If you ignore them, you do so at your own peril. No sensible person would include Maku and zNTA in the list of people to be ignored.

If you ignore the information agents of government, what else would you rely on? EL RUFAI abi? Your suggestion is akin to asking a village community to ignore its own town criers. It's absurd.