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|Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by kbdrim(m): 3:20pm On Feb 26, 2013|
REASON WHY TIV MEN OFFER THEIR WIVES TO THEIR GUEST by Chukwuemeka Ekenaka
The Tiv People of Benue State have one of the best cultural beliefs in
They regard strangers as gods, and in
some cases, protect their visitors with
their lives. The Tiv's kindness to strangers is Lengendary, but
unfortunately, this kindness was seen as weakness and taken for
The "Gbango" yam of the Tivs is their
pride. The gbango yam is the sweetest
yam specie anywhere in the world. The yam has high glucose and fiber content.
The primary occupation of the Tiv People is farming and their
strengths are a mystery.
A Tiv man will cultivate 100hectares of
farmland with the help of his famiy, using primitive farm tools.
That's why in the olden days, a Tiv Man will marry up to 6wives, in
order to produce children that will help him in the farms. A Tiv Man
loves his wives and children, and also
protect them with his life...because his life and wealth lies in them.
Gbango yams gained lot of popularity
and there became influx of traders into the Tiv Land.....to buy and
transport the yams to other places in Nigeria.
The headquarters of production, and
also the highest concentration of the Tiv People, before the eventual
spread, was at Zaki-Biam.
Notable traders such as Umoru, Sako
and Okafor were among the first to
come to Zaki-Biam. Umoru was a magician and a trader who came from the
North, he had a bird who goes before him during journeys, to see
whether the area was less-dangerous....it was a "gossip bird".
What became the greatest ever fallacy in Nigeria, started when Umoru
came to Zaki-Biam to buy gbango yams.Umoru was received by Terkaa, the
man regarded as the "King of Yams" in Zaki-Biam. Terkaa had five wives
and 11children....the fifth wife, Torkwase,was newly married and had
no child. Umoru was to spend the night in Terkaa's home, which in the
morning, he would go and buy yams in the Market Square.
A Tiv Man builds houses for each of his wives, Round Huts or Thatch Houses.
Umoru was given pounded yam and
smoked fish that night, and stayed
outside with his bird. At 11pm that night, Terkaa instructed Torkwase
to make thewooden bed for Umoru to sleep......as Strangers were
allowed to sleep in the beds, while the home owner will either sleep
outside the room or on the floor of the room.
The males in Tiv Land, everynight,
worship the "gods of yams", they would leave by 12am and spend two
hours making sacrifices and incantations to the "gods"....it is said
that their strengths were gotten from these "gods"
Terkaa told Umoru to sleep in
Torkwase's Round hut(house), as she will prepare the bed for
him....because Torkwase had space as she's got no child.
When Terkaa and his children left to
adore and worship the "gods of yams",
Umoru went to Torkwase's room and
slept with her. Umoru thought Terkaa
offered his wife to him or Maybe Umoru used charms and trickery to
sleep with Torkwase.
For weeks, during his visits to Zaki-Ziam,
Umoru would have sex with Torkwase.
Torkwase never told her husband what
was happening, as she never got
attention from her husband(she lacked sex) and may have enjoyed having
sex with Umoru, because Umoru may have used "Burantashi" during sex
Umoru told Sako and Okafor, the other traders, about his "free gift"
from Terkaa and told them to try their luck......Sako and Okafor were
successful, undermining the Tiv Man's Kindness.
Umoru went to the North, and told themthe news of the Tiv Man's "kind
gesture"...with Sako and Okafor doing
Unknown to the Tiv People, lots of
traders flock to their lands to do
business in order to experience the "kind gesture".....unfortunately,
they were successful, as the Tiv Man married as many wives as
possible, but failed to meet their sexual demands.
The Tiv Men had no idea of what was
happening in their Lands.
On one of his numerous journeys to
identify groups of people who spoke the Tiv Language, the King of the
Tivs(Tor Tiv), stumbled on this development.
The Tiv People are believed to have
migrated from Congo to Nigeria, and they are scattered within the
North of Nigeria, from Benue to Plateau to Adamawa to Taraba State.
So the Tor Tiv's assignment was to
identify them and incorporate them
under one "Umbrella".
It was on this journey to one of the Local Governments in Plateau
State, that the Tor Tiv learnt that traders coming into his lands,
were sleeping with his women.
The King came home and summoned a meeting. Wives were called and they
confessed sleeping with those traders.
The Men were furious and after much
deliberations, resolutions were reached.
No man should sit close or touch another man's wife without
permission, and the husband is allowed to kill the defaulter.
They feel killing the traders who
perpetrated those shameful acts, will
send strong warnings to visitors who
wish to come to their lands......a decision that would turn out to haunt them.
Umoru's "gossip bird" had already told
him the plan on ground and he never
went to the Tiv Land again. His friends, Sako and Okafor weren't
lucky......as they were killed.
Terkaa was once again in the picture, as he would gradually evolve a
term known as the "Mad Farmer".
Terkaa used this opportunity to kill his
enemies, claiming they harrassed or
touched his wives.
Terkaa went about killing people and
claiming their Lands. Land is one of the most valued assets of the Tiv People.
Terkaa killed Terkimbi, a Medicine
graduate that was sponsored by the
Villagers to read Medicine in America.
Torkwase got pregnant and was having
problems delivering her baby....so
Terkimbi who just returned from
overseas, was called upon.
Terkaa came back from the farms, saw
Terkimbi assisting his wife in Labour,
didn't ask any question and struck
Terkimbi with his cutlass. Terkimbi fell
down and died.
The "gods" were angry and hardship was unleashed to the people.
Crops failed to grow, animals were dying.
A region that pride itself as the food
basket of the Nation, was importing
foods from neighbouring states.
A Lake in Cameroon was blamed for
emitting poisonous gases that killed the crops and
animals.....whereas, the "gods" were angry over the death of Terkimbi,
and decided to punish them.
The "gods" held back the rains.
Conditions got worse, people started
dying from Malnutrition and diseases.
The Tor Tiv sought the advice of the
Priest of the Land and was told to go
home and perfom some rites.
The "gods" had demanded that Terkaa
and his family be used for sacrifice.
The villagers did as the Priest advised,
and Terkaa and his family were
killed....and all his property was burnt.
Also the Tor Tiv found out that many
wives were not receiving adequate
attention from their husbands, so he
gave a directive that if any man can't
satisfy all his wives...that man should
marry fewer wives.
Also the the Tor Tiv ordered every Tiv
Man to build extra houses for
visitors.....and that killing any man that didn't sleep with your wife
is a serious crime, and the culprit will be banish.
Immediately the Villagers agreed to
these terms, heavy rains fell that day.
Everything came to normal, crops and
animals sprung to life. The Tiv Man's
pride was restored.
The divine kindness shown by the Tiv
People to strangers was threatened,
however, a Tiv Man still worship a
stranger till today.
That's why most Tiv Men married one
wife, they could satisfy sexually. And
that's why most Tiv homes have extra
rooms for stranger/visitors.
A Tiv Man loves his wife to the blood,
and I wonder why the fallacy that
stipulates that a Tiv Man offer his wife to strangers to have sex, was
allowed to move from generations to generations.
Umoru is said to have resided in one of the Northern States, a blind
man who rears goats.
Please, if anybody has psyched or
deceived you that a Tiv Man will give you his wife to have sex
with.....don't ever come to Benue State, because the "Mad Farmer"
still lives amongst us....and you may lose your life.
The Story doesnt sound real to me though
3 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by kbdrim(m): 3:23pm On Feb 26, 2013|
May I add that the story doesn't sound realistic to me however if we have our Tiv Friends on Nairaland. They should pls confirm or debunk this theory
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Nobody: 4:06pm On Feb 26, 2013|
kbdrim: REASON WHY TIV MEN OFFER THEIR WIVES TO THEIR GUEST by Chukwuemeka Ekenaka
this story is absolute bulls**t
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by dyn01: 8:44am On Aug 15, 2014|
kbdrim: May I add that the story doesn't sound realistic to me however if we have our Tiv Friends on Nairaland. They should pls confirm or debunk this theory
....Or some facts to to add weight. That's what makes History different from Myth
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by EfemenaXY: 9:04am On Aug 15, 2014|
Based on the narrative posted here, it makes perfect sense that a separate hut / sleeping quarters be built for visitors. It's common sense.
Why a man would offer a stranger his wife's hut to pass the night in, with her present beats normal reasoning.
Interesting story though. Enlightening too. I must say I too had heard of these rumours / myth about TIV men offering their wives to visitors to sleep with, and often found it strange. Incomprehensible, even.
Thanks for the clarification @OP. Good read too.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by SAMBARRY: 9:28am On Aug 15, 2014|
Interesting fable but tales by moonlight will buy it
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Nobody: 12:17pm On Aug 15, 2014|
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by SugaryBelle(f): 4:49pm On Aug 15, 2014|
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by kerny: 7:31pm On Aug 15, 2014|
Lool...OMG,just read this story to my mom(she's Tiv)she started laughing so hard(still wondering what's so funny)I now understand why my mom is so kind and softhearted with vistors pounding yams and making expensive soups just to please them(true she practically does take them like a god)what she never does for my Dad(a yoruba man).
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by nat138: 9:09pm On Aug 15, 2014|
I have heard something similar to this story before. I laugh at people who say a Tiv man will give you his wife to sleep with. Such ignorance!! A typical Tiv man is very possessive, if you want come near his wife, death is calling your name o. Even if he and his wife are punching each other per second per second, just stay clear because he will clear the doubts of any man who will see that as an advantage to encroach.
About the generosity, withholding food from people is one of the highest taboos in Tiv land, because a Tiv man believes that there are higher powers that make the land fertile so why should you withhold what you have no control over.
Tiv people still eat outside most times in the middle of their compounds, this signifies community living, it encourages any body who is passing by to come join in eating, no need for invitations.
Till today when I visit my grandparents, we all still eat outside o.
The problem we have with de-bunking this wrong information that has been passed down from generation to generation is the complete lack of written history. Perhaps the most detailed written account I have come across of the Tiv was that written by Bohana Bohana (a white anthropological couple who did a study of the Tiv people), but how dependable is an account of an outsider on ones people. There have been bits and pieces written by some Tiv scholars but nothing which holds water, so all we have are oral accounts which are becoming sketchy and watered down as the years go by, because the custodians of culture are all dying off and not passing down this knowledge, after all which young person wants to be a custodian of culture when he can go do a white collar job in the cities?
So young men who want to go to Tiv land because they will give you their wives to sleep with BEWARE, so that they don't use you as manure to grow yam o. I rest my case
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Israeltyoor(m): 3:40pm On Oct 11, 2014|
"The Tiv people have one of the best cultural beliefs in the world" This is a sheer falsehood been championed and peddled about by some frustrated and disgruntled elements in the neighborhood of the Tiv nation. This kind of practice doesn't exist among Tiv people. Whosoever concocted this falsehood must be a scoundrel or some kind of a cunning fox. Anybody with a sound mind would easily dismiss the fiction. I wonder what the writer intends to achieve with the fabrication. Why would any sane and a responsible human come up with such a sensitive if not disgusting and an offensive topic like this and then describe it as one of the best practices among a group of people. I have a feeling that the person behind this story is a foe to the Tiv nation, like the bible say; and the enemies of a man are those in his own house.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by TERTAR: 9:25am On Jan 29, 2017|
Well this dreamer only dreamed that such thing happen in Tiv land. am a proudly son of TIV, A direct decendant of TAKULUKU ANYAMAZENGA (the waring Clan).Do not be decieved by any one about the Tiv nation.The Tiv people are the most simple & jenalous(materials)Tribe you can think of,they strongly believe in JUSTICE, trying to play smart on them,thats is were you will regrate knowing aTIV man,thats is when he will unleashed the uncontrolled strenght on you that is when he will not hear "de" (stop),thats is when he will fight to the finish.other wise a Tiv man will host you give you free food fetch water for you to bath in fact he will treat you as if you are his boss in his house,but make no mistake to take advantage of this,bcus you will regrate the other side of him if at all you will survive it.A Tiv man will never give you his wife and he dont expect you to admire his wife not to talk of his doughter .the relation ship between the Tiv and Hausa Fulani has ditorated since 19Adam and Eve bcus of Religious,cultural difference.so coming on this platform to post that a Tiv man gave his dog not even his wife to Adam fodio to sleep with was false.
That is why you hardly i mean hardly you see aTiv man give his doughter to Fulani or Hausa man for marriage. 90%TIV people are christian while 9%are Traditional and 1% is a free thinker.The Tiv people are decendant of warrior clans they oppose any form of oppression from any Tribe or Nation that stand a threat in thier way and always take on and cruch such threat.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by jzun: 6:06pm On Mar 31, 2017|
TERTAR:Wow! very interesting!
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Lighthouseman: 6:51am On Apr 01, 2017|
I served in benue s state. k. ala. It's all fables
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by austine4real(m): 2:51pm On Apr 01, 2017|
got a Benue babe that I'm eye ing
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Nobody: 12:02am On Jul 01, 2017|
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by omobabalawo: 7:17am On Jul 01, 2017|
i stay in ph. hw do i gt my way to benue. tiv in particular. i will visit all the married men
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Bigsteveg(m): 6:34pm On Jul 01, 2017|
kerny:Can I come to visit?
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Bigsteveg(m): 6:40pm On Jul 01, 2017|
I do hear about them giving out their wives to entertain visitors. First time am hearin this story tho. The act of giving your wife out to me, I thought it's their tradition. It had better be real, cos I plan go to visit soon.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by happystep(m): 11:51am On Oct 15, 2017|
Israeltyoor:You can not say that this report is falsehood because you were not there 200-300 years ago to witness what actually happened. But you may say the truth has been watered down to a myth
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by fesomokhoa: 6:53am On Jul 21, 2018|
Thanks for this story because even me I was surprised about the fallacy.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by fesomokhoa: 7:15am On Jul 21, 2018|
Pls can somebody teach me how to post message
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by wink2015: 4:57am On Sep 05, 2018|
African culture. Interesting news.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by Evangkatsoulis: 3:11pm On Sep 06, 2018|
Nonsense sociology lecturers taught us this same ish in 100L as hard facts.
|Re: Reason Why Tiv Men Offer Their Wives To Their Guest? True Story Or Fable? by streetpaddy(m): 11:17am On Oct 30, 2020|
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