[b][/b][/i]  i have a friend that has dated a guy for some years now. she got pregnant during the relationship and the guy left when she got to six months. he abused her both verbally and physically to the extend that the police had to be involved few times but she never pressed charges against him. the guy started acting up after they found out the baby was a girl. he cheated and lied and did all kinds of terrible things to her. he even had people threaten her on some occasions even though she has done so much for him. he finally decided to drop out of school and join the army amd is about to be sworn in. all of a sudden, he is calling and saying he wants to be part of the babys birth. the same baby that she almost lost over a month ago cuz of him. he also wants the girl's account for the army to pay money in for the baby when he is gone. he doesnt even have proove that they are really going to pay anything for the baby while he is gone. my girlfriend has finally agreed to let him be present at the birth but does not want anything from him for the baby cuz she has been paying for everything aba the pregnancy and can still take care of it without him. mind u this same guy has stopped working, stopped going to school and finally decided to join army because he says they will pay his bills for him. he hasnt done anything for the pregnancy and finally wants to see the baby then ran away.  he went around and told many lies about her and most people finally realised everything that he said about her were lies, she almost failed her classes because of the numerous times that she had to go to the hospital because of his abuse. they never broke up but he rather decided to stop talking to her and cheated right in front of her. im really confused because i dont even know what to tell my friend. [/b][i][b][i][/i]

sexylisa:

[b][/b][/i]  i have a friend that has dated a guy for some years now. she got pregnant during the relationship and the guy left when she got to six months. he abused her both verbally and physically to the extend that the police had to be involved few times but she never pressed charges against him. the guy started acting up after they found out the baby was a girl. he cheated and lied and did all kinds of terrible things to her. he even had people threaten her on some occasions even though she has done so much for him. he finally decided to drop out of school and join the army amd is about to be sworn in. all of a sudden, he is calling and saying he wants to be part of the babys birth. the same baby that she almost lost over a month ago because of him. he also wants the girl's account for the army to pay money in for the baby when he is gone. he doesnt even have proove that they are really going to pay anything for the baby while he is gone. my girlfriend has finally agreed to let him be present at the birth but does not want anything from him for the baby because she has been paying for everything aba the pregnancy and can still take care of it without him. mind u this same guy has stopped working, stopped going to school and finally decided to join army because he says they will pay his bills for him. he hasnt done anything for the pregnancy and finally wants to see the baby then ran away.  he went around and told many lies about her and most people finally realised everything that he said about her were lies, she almost failed her classes because of the numerous times that she had to go to the hospital because of his abuse. they never broke up but he rather decided to stop talking to her and cheated right in front of her. im really confused because i don't even know what to tell my friend. [/b][i][b][i][/i]

. . . i really don't get much from the pattern of the write up.But yet:
is she delivered of the baby NOW or shes still pregnant?
why is she finding it difficult to press charges against the guy even when hes hurting her and being a threat to her existence ?
If she dies somewhere along the line(heavens forbid) the much loved guy would STILL be on this planet and enjoying his lyfe with another babe.
if shes had the baby now,the baby's health should be her major concern and ofcos her own safety and well being too.seems like shes so foolishly in love but remind her that love is meant for the living and not the dead.
. . . .its quite a difficult situation,i don't really understand anyway.

Am confused
The writting is moudled up!

Such fonts n styles worry ma eyes. . . cnt read.

I can't even read neither to understand anything but let me answer with the headlines.

Should She Allow Him To Have Access To The Baby
If he agrees to take his responsability as the father , yes he ca have access.

If he is violent, he has no business being in that child's life. Your friend is not very smart either. Why does he have to be there for the birth. If he is such a bad person how can she let him get that much involved. If she decides to get full custody of this child she will have to prove to a judge that even though he is violent and she is so terrified of him it made sense to bring him into the delivery room. She needs to cut him off now and file for full custody of this child. He is a danger to her and the baby.

granted the guy is a low life jerk, but d fact still remains that he is the father of her child. i think she should let him see the baby, if nuttin else.

sexylisa:


i have a friend that has dated a guy for some years now. she got pregnant during the relationship and the guy left when she got to six months. he abused her both verbally and physically to the extend that the police had to be involved few times but she never pressed charges against him. the guy started acting up after they found out the baby was a girl. he cheated and lied and did all kinds of terrible things to her. he even had people threaten her on some occasions even though she has done so much for him. he finally decided to drop out of school and join the army amd is about to be sworn in. all of a sudden, he is calling and saying he wants to be part of the babys birth. the same baby that she almost lost over a month ago because of him. he also wants the girl's account for the army to pay money in for the baby when he is gone.

he doesnt even have proove that they are really going to pay anything for the baby while he is gone. my girlfriend has finally agreed to let him be present at the birth but does not want anything from him for the baby because she has been paying for everything aba the pregnancy and can still take care of it without him. mind u this same guy has stopped working, stopped going to school and finally decided to join army because he says they will pay his bills for him. he hasnt done anything for the pregnancy and finally wants to see the baby then ran away.  he went around and told many lies about her and most people finally realised everything that he said about her were lies, she almost failed her classes because of the numerous times that she had to go to the hospital because of his abuse. they never broke up but he rather decided to stop talking to her and cheated right in front of her. im really confused because i don't even know what to tell my friend.

Due to the unrehablitative nature of the so called "baby daddy", I would suggest you keep your child away from this anti-social scumbag for goooooooooooooood.  Till such a time in his life when he is capable of having any form of a "Jesus" Moment. This man can harm you and the child. You need to get away from him as much as possible.  Leave the country if you can and let him know that is what you plan to do after you have left.  Any contact he chooses to have should be with a neutral family member of yours. If the child grows up and wants to reach out to the dad, fine.  For now, it is your friend's responsiblity to protect that child from his menacing past, present and future.  Like the saying always goes,

b]Mama's baby. . . .dada's maybe![/b] Na woman[b] carry [/b] pickin no be man! Your friend is that child's last chance to see a bright future.

JOINING THE ARMY WITH HIS MENTAL CONDITION WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE. . . . . .since he has learned to kill without a conscience. Most people who come out of the army remain sociopaths and psychopaths especially if they were dysfunctional in the first place like this your friend's Prince Charming. She can not allow any unsupervised visit ALONE with this child for the next 18 years! I would frankly disappear without a trace with ma baby! Leave only a contact with one of his "sane" relatives to leave a link for future reunion if any.  I am not doing this out of spite, but to protect ma daughter. As far as I am concerned the last mistake was conceiving a child with a raving lunatic.  I will come to ma sense pronto! Nothing personal against him.  It is all about the child.

Your friend needs to concentrate on herself and not let any cursed person affect the lives of her and her child.  She cannot fail her classes either on his lousy account.  All she did was have a baby by a nonentity.  That is not a crime.  She needs to avoid him at all cost.  She can allow her to see his mother or father or any other sane relative in his lineage if any.  BUT NOT HIM!


He can't see her till he is married and has other kids. . . . .  from another woman.  Then I will know he capable of living a normal life.  He can't practice with ma daughter sorry!

@ Poster

Sounds like the guy has a lot of growing up to do,

But for now the main focus should be on the precious baby girl,

Ur friend needs to try and get back to school, so as to be able to take good care of this child n future,

Cos it sounds like the guy isn't going to step up to the plate,

I hope she has family members and friends that can come to her aid, cos

she has a long winding road ahead of her.

Wish her the best.

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