APC governors donate to Aso Rock
Opposition governors from the All
Progressive Congress visited Maiduguri last
week. They addressed the press afterwards,
during which they responded to a
statement by the PDP chairman, Bamanga
Tukur, who said last week that following the
appointment of Godswill Akpabio as
chairman of PDP Governors Forum,
President Jonathan “can now sleep very
well. In fact, he can observe siesta.”
The APC governors said that they supported
the call by the PDP chairman for the
president to sleep. Speaking on behalf of
the governors, Gov. Aregbesola of Osun
said “If the president has been awake all
this while and nothing is working, then by
all means he needs to sleep. We are certain
that things will move faster if he’s asleep.”
The APC governors who donated N200
million to the Borno and Yobe governments
for emergency relief, said that “as part of
our Government Social Responsibility, we
are also donating a king-sized succulent
mattress, 365 pillows, blankets, and
assorted pyjamas to Aso Rock, just to make
sure that President Jonathan sleeps well, as
a sleeping Jonathan is great for Nigeria’s
progress.”
“I am now ready for Soyinka” – Dame
Jonathan
First lady, Dame Patience Jonathan, is
determined to show Nobel Laureate, Wole
Soyinka, that she is not scared of taking him
on. It would be recalled that during a
recent PDP women rally, the first lady had
expressed displeasure that Soyinka
criticised her over her plan to build a N4
billion mission house. Once again, during a
meeting in Cote d’Ivoire with that country’s
first lady, Dame Jonathan told her host to
ignore whatever criticism she hears about
the matter as “my husband will build the
house for me whether they like it or not.”
Speaking further, she said, “As for that one
who won a ‘Noble’ Laureate, I don’t even
know why those people made him noble,
but that’s why I’m very happy with you
Coted’Ivoire people for giving my husband
title of Commandeur de L’Ordre de Nation
and for giving me title of Grand Croux da
L’Ordre de Nation. So if Soyinka is noble, he
can now see that I and my husband are
Lords. And Lord is higher than noble so he’s
not my level.”
After her speech, her host, Mrs. Outtara
whispered in her ears that the ‘L’Ordre’ in
her title actually means ‘the order’ and not
‘the Lord’. Mrs Jonathan replied, “I know,
that’s what I said.” With a smile on her
face, Mrs. Outtara wondered how someone
could deny what she just said openly but
her Nigerian interpreter told her not to be
troubled because “we are used to it now in
Nigeria.”
Meanwhile, Mrs Jonathan has scheduled a
thanksgiving next Sunday in Abuja to “show
appreciation to the Lord that only few
months after her resurrection, she has now
been exalted as Lord.” She said “It’s the
Lord’s doing and it’s marvellous in her
sight.” No one was sure which of the Lord’s
she meant though, whether her, her
husband or the Lord above.
Sanusi hails House of Reps
In a well-intentioned move last week, the
Federal House of Representatives threw out
a bill which sought to pay people who were
not working, declaring that he who is not
working does not deserve pay. Reports say
that when the CBN governor, Sanusi Lamido
Sanusi, heard the news, he organised an
impromptu party at the CBN headquarters.
In his short speech during the party, he
said that he never believed that Nigerian
politicians “could put away selfish interests
for the sake of the country like the House
members did.” He said that he believed in
his heart that the House move does not
only affect unemployed graduates, but
people who look like they are employed but
technically doing nothing. Although he
promised to release the comprehensive list
of people/offices which fall into that
category, he listed some as members of the
national assembly, Vice President Namadi
Sambo, 90% of the president’s special
advisers and many more.
He said “for instance, Sarah Jubril, the
Mama One Vote herself, is the president’s
special adviser on ethics. I laugh in dollars.
Please what is the actual role of an adviser
like that in this government? That’s why I
agree with the House that no work, no
pay.”
CROWNED CLOWN (CeeCee) OF THE WEEK
Very few Nigerians are happy about the
current Good Governance Tour being
embarked on by the minister of
information, Labaran Maku. That’s a fact,
no matter the propaganda by the
organisers. Something else that is a fact is
this: As much as that project is ill-advised,
unnecessary and a waste of resources, it
was approved by the Federal Executive
Council (FEC), the National Executive
Council (NEC) and the Nigeria Governors
Forum (NGF) as far back as August 2012.
Lagos state is represented by Gov. Fashola
in both the NEC and the NGF. That’s why it
is the height of mischief to hear the Lagos
governor say, “in their [FG's] desperation to
appear busy, they have embarked on an ill-
conceived Good Governance Tour, because
they have no projects to inspect. We do not
need a Good Governance Tour in Lagos
before citizens know that their lives are
improving.”
Fashola never voiced any opposition when
the idea was birthed; in fact, his deputy
was on the committee set up by the NGF to
ratify the template of the tour. This
insincerity is unbecoming of the Lagos
governor and he must quit fooling himself
and Lagosians forthwith just so he can look
good. Gov. Fashola is a clown for being
double-tongued and mischievous, and he
takes the CeeCee this week.

Infact our politician, most expecially GEJ and his wife are now movie actors and actress

New name for the film industry is POLIWOOD

Abeg tell dis pej 2 STFU if she doesn't have anything 2 say.how can she even compare herself 2 prof wole who da hell does she think she is.make she just ask d former 1st lady who gives a damn abt her now unlike prof wole who will be remembered if not 4 anything bt 4 being 1st African 2 win d Nobel prize

And you had to waste your precious time to put together this trash.

Effect of Unemployment!

Hmmm you are make your self compared lord you have now bearing the name of god I think this idiot is not a bible reader herod and king nabz this is what they did before they consumed who are you that you can make yourself compared soyinka you are your husband Jonathan is not the first president of federal republic of Nigeria why is it your own first lady is different with order?nA waa for you oo