Hello,

Have you ever seen the weakest link quiz game on the

TV? Well get ready for a Nigeria version - it is

hilarious!...though quite long.

Enjoy

************



Introduction of the Players:

The eight players in this Nigerian version of The Weakest Link are the following in the order of position on the platform: Olusegun Obasanjo, Ibrahim Babangida, Alhaji Abubakar Rimi, Alhaji Abubakar Atiku, Dr. Alex Ekwueme, Dr. Peter Odili, Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu and Alhaji Ghali Umar Na'abba. All of these men have thrown their hats into the ring for the 2003 presidential elections and the winner of this game of The Weakest Link, would win the presidency.

Now, Let Play The Weakest Link:

MOMOH: In what year did French Emperor Napoleon die?

OBASANJO: 1864.

MOMOH: Wrong, 1821.

Next question to IBB.

MOMOH: Who annulled the 1993 presidential elections in

Nigeria?

IBB: You are looking at him.

MOMOH: Right. [Three states won].

Next question to Rimi.

MOMOH: This governor was impeached in the last

democratic experiment.

RIMI: Alhaji Balarabe Musa of Kaduna.

MOMOH: Right. [Seven states won].

Next question to Atiku.

MOMOH: Who killed NewsWatch editor Dele Giwa?

ATIKU: Hmmmm, Sadam Hussein.

MOMOH: Wrong, Babangida.

ATIKU: Damn, I knew it was that idiot who killed him.

Next question to Dr. Ekwueme.

MOMOH: Which Nigerian politician in the second

republic stole more than $2 billion in a rice deal?

DR. EKWUEME: Alhaji Umaru Dikko, then Transport Minister.

MOMOH: Right. {Ten states won].

Next question to Odili.

MOMOH: What was the name of the executed leader of the armed robbery gang which terrorized Benin City and its environs in 1986?

GOV. ODILI: Lawrence Anini.

MOMOH: Right. {Fourteen states won].

Next question to Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu.

MOMOH: This politician once claimed that he attended the University of Chicago.

SENATOR TINUBU: Former House Speaker Salisu Ibrahim Buhari?

MOMOH: Wrong. It was Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu of Lagos state. In others words, you.

SENATOR TINUBU: Momoh, watch your mouth, I know where you live.

MOMOH: Governor, is that a threat?

SENATOR TINUBU: No. Would I threaten anyone?

Next question to Speaker Na'abba.

MOMOH: Who did you replace as speaker?

NA'ABBA: Hmmmmm, Evans Enwerem.

MOMOH: Wrong, Salisu Buhari. How could you not know this information, Mr. Speaker? Did you not get handover notes from him at the very least?

Its now the end of the first round and the following three players have been voted off: Atiku, Odili and Na'abba for being the weakest link.

Even though Odili was good and answered his question correctly, other members thought he was too intelligent for their liking and so they had to vote him off along with the other two. Only in Nigeria would they think in this fashion.

ROUND TWO:

First question in this round goes to Obasanjo.

MOMOH: How many Heads of State or prime ministers in the history of Nigeria have been assassinated?

OBASANJO: Three.

MOMOH: Right, three in the persons of Sir Tafawa Belewa, Generals Ironsi and Muhammed. [Nineteen states won].

Next question to IBB:

MOMOH: This former head of state has a 50-bedroom mansion in his home state.

IBB: Its Obasanjo, he has it in his Otta farm. Have you seen that farm? He calls it a farm but I have not seen any chickens there, no cows, not even scared one, no goats, its all a camouflage for his mansion which is tucked right in behind the tall grasses.

OBASANJO: Ibrahim, shut-up before I talk about your Swiss accounts and all the money you have stolen--shut up now, Ibrahim. Remember, I was your senior in the army.

MOMOH: IBB, you are wrong---that former head of state is you.

Next question to Rimi.

MOMOH: Which state has this for a motto: "Born to Rule".

RIMI: Sokoto.

MOMOH: Right [Twenty-five states won]

Tinubu to Rimi: I bet they can change that motto now to say, "Born to Watch Others Rule," Ha! Ha!! Ha!!!

Rimi to Tinubu: Tinubu, I will deal with you, O. Don't play with us, northerners O. We are just on vacation now, we shall be back soon.

Tinubu to Rimi: Yeah right!!!

Next question to Dr. Ekwueme.

MOMOH: Who was the first American president to visit Nigeria and in what year did he visit?

Dr. Ekwueme: Jimmy Carter in 1978.

MOMOH: Right [Thirty-one states won].

Next question to Tinubu:

MOMOH: Which is the tallest mountain on earth?

TINUBU: Mt. Kilimanjaro.

MOMOH: Wrong, Mt. Everest in Nepal.

Rimi addressing Tinubu: They didn't teach you that at the University of Chicago? Simple geography, what a pity, Tinubu.

Tinubu to Rimi: Shut-up your goro mouth, Rimi. At least, I can dream of going to University of Chicago. Did you pass elementary school?

Rimi to Tinubu: You dey insult me? I go wound you O, Tinubu. I go wound you proper, o.

Tinubu to Rimi: I go bloody your nose, O, Rimi. If I see your legs for Lagos, I go send my OPC boys to cut dem. Yeye Hausaman wey want come insult me, a whole govano like me.

Rimi to Tinubu: Tinubu, if I see your amala-eating ass in kano, I will send the street beggars to mob you. You foolish Yoruba man, you think you are better than us northerners? University of Chicago my behind, Tafur Kwo!!!

Tinubu to Rimi: You mean your fat behind?

Rimi to Tinubu: Step outside now, Tinubu. If you be man, make you step outside and I go teach you a lesson.

Tinubu to Dr. Ekwueme: Ekwueme, hold me O before I wound this goro-man called Rimi. Hold me, Ekwueme.

Ekwueme [Tinubu now turns to Ekwueme], hold me now, which one you dey. Make you hold me now before I explode.

Ekwueme to Tinubu: Tinubu, make you explode make we see, I no go hold you. Seeing that Ekwueme has refused to hold him, Tinubu now retreats and promises Rimi hell the next time he insults him.

Rimi to Tinubu: Yeye Lagos man, no soso shakara. You sabi bark but you no fit bite.

MOMOH: Gents, gents!! The door is there if you two want to fight, hit the parking lot.

They both apologized to Momoh and indicated their readiness to continue.

END OF THE SECOND ROUND:

At the end of this round, Dr. Ekwueme, Gov. Tinubu and Alhaji Rimi were voted out as the weakest links.Again, as in the first round, their ouster has nothing to do with their performance but with their behavior on stage. Indeed, Tinubu and Rimi still feeling the effects of their verbal entanglement made a mistake and voted themselves as the weakest link when they meant to vote others out. Too bad. The stage is now set for Obasanjo and IBB to slug it out for the presidency. As you can see, there are five states waiting to be won and any of the two men who answers all five questions wins the presidency. In the event of a tie, the presidency will be decided by sudden death.

THE FINAL ROUND:

MOMOH: Obasanjo, who killed Mamman Vasta, the poet and best friend of then president Ibrahim Babangida in 1986?

OBASANJO: Babangida did.

MOMOH: Correct. One state for Obasanjo.

MOMOH: IBB, who devalued the naira in 1986?

IBB: I did.

MOMOH: Right. One state for IBB.

MOMOH: Obasanjo, which Nigerian president said these words to a questioner in Atlanta, USA. "Go to hell."?

OBASANJO: I did.

MOMOH: Right. Two states for Obasanjo.

MOMOH: IBB, under whose leadership did Nigeria secretly join the Organization of Islamic Countries in 1986?

IBB: Mine, mine, mine.

MOMOH: Right. Two states for IBB.

MOMOH: Obasanjo, what is the meaning of OFN?

OBASANJO: Operation Feed the Nation. That is why I have my Otta farm---I'm feeding the nation.

IBB to Obasanjo: Which nation? The Otta nation?

Obasanjo to IBB: Look, IBB, you are becoming bold O. I will deal with you O! Don't forget, there are no sacred cows here.

IBB to Obasanjo: What a joke. I have been a sacred cow from day one. I will deal with you first. Have you seen the leadership of the National Assembly lately? They are all my boys. David Mark, Tunde Ogbeha, Ike Nwachukwu. Should I name more?

MOMOH: Obasanjo is right. Three states for him.

MOMOH: IBB, which Nigerian head of state asked Nigerians to debate an IMF loan for $1 billion and when Nigerians said no, he went ahead anyway and took the loan?

IBB: Me! Me!! Me!!!

Obasanjo to IBB: Is that how you stole Nigeria's money and is that how you got all those illicit wealth?

IBB to Obasanjo: Can you blame me if you were so dumb not to steal when you were in power the first time?

Obasanjo to IBB: Ole, ole, ole, IBB.

IBB to Obasanjo: You too ole. Whatever that means.

MOMOH: Gents! gents!! gents!!!. Do you want to continue or not?

They both apologized and indicated that they are ready to proceed.

MOMOH: IBB is right. Three states for him.

The fourth question is for Obasanjo.

MOMOH: Obasanjo, which president gave all middle ranking officers in the Nigerian military a brand new 504 Peugeot in what was called the "... spirit."?

Obasanjo: Is that idiot there called IBB, the IBB spirit. See him ugly face. Wetin happen to your middle teeth, IBB. Abe they knock kam commot for fight?

IBB to Obasanjo: Look, you pot-bellied so-called former general, you still dey look for my trouble o. Momoh, you dey see that? This Obayeye man dey find my trouble o.

MOMOH: Right, It was IBB. Four states for Obasanjo.

Next question to IBB. This question is IBB's fourth.

MOMOH: IBB, which head of state dismissed his second-in-command because he refused to be a 'yes man'?

IBB: That would be me. I sacked that Igbo man, what his name now, Ubuti Ukiwe or something.

Obasanjo to IBB: You coward, you could not stand an Igbo man so you had to sack him. God bless that man.

IBB to Obasanjo: Look, Obayeye...

MOMOH: Correct. Four states to IBB.

The fifth and final question to both men. Remember, the winner takes the presidency.

MOMOH: Obasanjo, what happened to the billions of dollars in oil revenues during the gulf war.

OBASANJO: That thief standing by me stole it all and used some of it to build his Minna mansion and buy private jets.

MOMOH: Right, very correct, Obasanjo. Five states for you.

Next question to IBB. If he gets it right, he would tie with Obasanjo and that means they would go into a sudden death situation. If he doesn't, Obasanjo wins the presidency as he would have won all thirty-six states.

MOMOH: IBB, what does ITT mean?

As IBB was thinking about the answer, Obasanjo

whispers to him, "International Thief Thief" and IBB

responds to the question-

IBB: International Thief Thief.

MOMOH: Although I'm tempted to say you are right as that would be you and many of your friends, I must say you are wrong and therefore Obasanjo wins the presidency. IBB, I'm sorry to say that you are the weakest link in the Nigerian nation, you weakened the economy, the will of the Nigerian people, you weakened their finances, their purchasing power, their dignity and their might. So its on those grounds I must say, you take away nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, as you are the weakest link.

Goodbye.

PASOMA

I know weakest link. I laughed a little bit after reading that, but seeing how long that thing was, I was expecting [it to be really funny]. I didn't laugh much; my espectations were too high. Gosh, that should have more interesting. Argh!

Hummmmm nice one pasuma,
it is funny

what wont they copy? i don't think there is anything they wouldnt copy

so FUNNY

Could someone pls modify dis lovely joke for our current situation.

Nice joke but too long

rwily funny.nyc wan.

chei! liars. .confederacy of dunces!

Tunexsy:

Could someone pls modify dis lovely joke for our current situation.

lol lazy!
If somebody's looking for someone with 25hrs a day in his hands then somebody lied.