one of my neighbors had a quarel this morning. it was so serious that we cldnt help but hear most part of what they were saying. the woman was so angry that she was still talking on her way out this morning. this is part of what i heard :

". . . . . i told u to stop this your bad habit but u wont hear. how can u tell me to wait for u to go to the bank and come bak before u give me feeding money? do i have to ask u every month before u know that u should give me money for food?. . . . . "

thats just part of it and i guess it summaries what the whole fight was about. i guess what upset the woman in this is that she always have to ask before it is given to her and in this case i guess after asking, her husband may have told her to wait for him to go to the bank first.

my question now is this - should a woman ask for feeding money before it is given or should the man as a point of duty do so before being asked?

Amebo
weting you wan make we do about it now
on behalf of nairalander, no answer to the question

adekennis:

Amebo

no be my fault oh dem dey shout na im i hear oh

this is not really to help that couples case or not, they are on their own jare

i just want a general view from u guys, especially the married ones. how is it supposed to be?

Don't they have joint accounts in Nigeria. Why can't she go to the bank and get it. Is it a men only bank?

Solution

Every couple should buy a small safe and keep it in their bedroom
When the month ends, hussy deposits his percentage n wifey does same.
Wife should keep the key since she's the keeper of the house.
Wifey shd withdraw from that safe n manage the money real well, if money finishes b4 end of month, wifey na to blame and must find a way of feeding the family until the next deposit arrive.

simple!

@poster,amebo
is the woman not working sef? but to answer your question i think the man should drop the money without being asked.he doesn't need a reminder abeg . . .like they need reminding b4 they do the other one

Though it itches my skin when I have to always ask for something you ought to know about, men don't remember things like that so why won't the woman nag. What do you guys think about

@ Topic

This is why women should not be dependent on their husbands,

I'm sure it means that no one in that household will eat if the man doesn't put

Money down for food.

omena555:

should a woman ask for feeding money before it is given or should the man as a point of duty do so before being asked?

no man!! A man should be able to provide for his family, meaning, he should ask his wife if she needs money to buy groceries and any other necessary materials before she asked. if they both have a job, he need not ask her because she has money to buy what she needs, however, if she does ask him for some extra change to buy food, he should be ready as a man, as a husband and/or a father, to give his wife some money to buy food.

its a sad thing how irresponsible and irrational some men are this days, wife have to beg them for money to buy food, the man should even be asking his wife if there's enough food in the house and if she needed extra change to buy groceries when he sees that the fridge and cabinets are getting empty. . .but some believe that food automatically appear on the table for them to eat. God save me from such men sha

the woman needs to get a job and all these disrespect from her man would stop. the wife should have access to his account too.

its a sad thing how irresponsible and irrational some men are this days, wife have to beg them for money to buy food, the man should even be asking his wife if there's enough food in the house and if she needed extra change to buy groceries when he sees that the fridge and cabinets are getting empty. . .but some believe that food automatically appear on the table for them to eat. God save me from such men sha

don't worry, i got the food food stamps ready

bawomolo:

don't worry, i got the food food stamps ready

eh en. . .am sure you do. . _broke@$$

I don't think it is embarassing, they are already family. Asking money from your husband does not mean you are not educated. Is it not for the family to eat? From the story the man was responsible for the feeding money, (and I guess everyone agreed to it) the only problem was that the woman had to always remind him of feeding money, something he is supposed to be used to by now, after how many years of marriage.

stillwater:

I don't think it is embarassing, they are already family. Asking money from your husband does not mean you are not educated. Is it not for the family to eat? From the story the man was responsible for the feeding money, (and I guess everyone agreed to it) the only problem was that the woman had to always remind him of feeding money, something he is supposed to be used to by now, after how many years of marriage.

Gbam!!!

thank u all for your responses, we learn everyday u know and i find your various views really interesting.

.

ifyalways:

@poster,amebo
is the woman not working sef? but to answer your question i think the man should drop the money without being asked.he doesn't need a reminder abeg . . .like they need reminding before they do the other one

ify, which one is the other one?? 

tRoOE:

This is so embarrassing sha, what can of woman ask for food money from her husband.

Don’t she have a job or what, looking at what u wrote said I think she’s irritate, because an educated lady won’t do that.

Btw, doesn’t the husband know his duties anymore?

u are trying to be diplomatic here i guess and its good.
well the woman in question is not an illiterate. she is a trained nurse, though has resigned from practice. she now manages a pharmacy store of her own. from what i know about her for the years we've been neighbors, she's a very loving and friendly woman. very jovial and considerate, a mother to the core. (thats the one i know from outside oh, ehen!)

tRoOE:

But still why yell on top of are voice just because her husband didn't leave a feeding money, if she was that hungry, then why not take the money out of her pocket , na wa oooo
Like I said before, a woman shouldn’t depend on her husband but be independent for her own use

yelling on top of her voice was bad, but let me correct an impression, we're not used to hearing them shout the way they did yesterday, so i guess she must really have been pissed off by the incidence, i figure out it is the part of having to remind her husband all the time and as for yesterday, having to wait for the man to go and come bak from the bank after asking for the money.

well, i dont really know how that couple run their family and its not in my place to know, neither is it going to do me any good if i knew.

like u said, a woman shd be independent. but that doesnt mean she shdnt get feeding money anymore cos she's working or doing some kind of business. her asking for feeding money is not becos she's so hungry like u put it. feeding money is not for the woman only, but the entire family. and in the case of this family, we're talking about 8 persons here ( the couple, 4 children, 1 of the woman's sister and 1 of the man's niece)!
so is she going to always feed the whole bunch from her pocket cos she's now independent?!

no one forced them to have all those kids. they brought that responsibility on themselves

1.Giving of feeding money to me is the responsibly of both parties concern.

2. i don't see any problem if a woman ask for feeding money from her husband
cos there is every tendency that the husband will for get.

3. if the man don't have the money at hand is either the woman wait for him to get
it from the bank or give her the cheque to go and collect the money from the
bank.

if she was working there aint gonna be a problem