I really want to find out if there are other married women like me or if my case is different. I am currently married to a man I love so and I know he loves me so much too. we met back at the university and we were very close friends. We decided to get married April last year. The issue is that I see him more like a friend than a husband. I mean our marriage is more like a platonic relationship. I love it when he holds me, when I rest on his chest, the hugs, jist, going out and every other thing, but we do not have sex often (like once in two weeks or more). We live in same house, sleep in same room, eat in same plate, but sex is always least on our minds, and I am sure he is not cheating on me, neither have I ever thought of cheating on him. He has never complained neither have I because we are perfectly fine with it, but what I read online and in books about marriage and sex, how sex keeps marriage going, and other stuff is quite different from what I am experiencing. We are more like friends than ‘husband and wife.’ Is this supposed to be?

If you are both satisfied with the way things are then I see nothing wrong in it. Just be very certain no party is pretending to be satisfied. Moreover things may change when you eventually get married.

I'm not sure I understand your question. You both love each other, you enjoy each other's company and are great friends, you appear to be sexually compatible and are both perfectly fine with the way things are. If all the above is true just as you have said, what exactly is your concern?

ileobatojo: I'm not sure I understand your question. You both love each other, you enjoy each other's company and are great friends, you appear to be sexually compatible and are both perfectly fine with the way things are. If all the above is true just as you have said, what exactly is your concern?

the sex is not like the books and people say it should be between married couples..
Given that they are newly married,this is when the sex is supposed to be frequent,hot and mind-blowing i guess..
I would be concerned too if it was me.

Why are you bothering yourself? From your write up everything is wonderful between you and you are bothering yourself?? Anyway just to be sure, talk with your hubby about it. However you should understand that what works for your marriage might not worlk for another

helo marriage is not all about sex, is about d companionship and if i got u right then u are on course,u must be carefull what u grab on social ntworks as u make ur bed so u lie on it.gud lock

women una wahala too much ohh.
If he had married her and starts bang'ing (pardon my french) her right and left.... She will complain "is that why you married me?, to kill me with sex?" or "why is he using me like a wh.ore?"
He decides to respect his lovely wife (after all it is for a life time that they have each other), and she comes here, "Is my case different?"

Op, NL will not give you the required result. Open up to your husband, communicate with him about your feelings. tell him that you need hot and steamy s,ex.... at least tell him how much you need his thing in you....
Haba, as una be friend so, you can't even talk to him. Am sure if he was the one in your shoes he would have already told you what he wants and how he wants it.

COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION and COMMUNICATION.

slimyem: the sex is not like the books and people say it should be between married couples..
Given that they are newly married,this is when the sex is supposed to be frequent,hot and mind-blowing i guess..
I would be concerned too if it was me.

But she said they are both perfectly fine with it. Which is it OP? Fine or not?

Are you questioning whether it is okay to be fine with sex every 2 weeks or whether sex every 2 weeks is okay/fine for married people? Because if you are both happy (according to you) with the way things are then I see no reason for it to be the latter except you have a problem with happiness and just desperately need a reason to be unhappy.

Now if you are really not as happy as you claimed in your original post please clarify so you can get the desired responses.

Abali1: women una wahala too much ohh.
If he had married her and starts bang'ing (pardon my french) her right and left.... She will complain "is that why you married me?, to kill me with sex?" or "why is he using me like a wh.ore?"

He decides to respect his lovely wife (after all it is for a life time that they have each other), and she comes here, "Is my case different?"

Op, NL will not give you the required result. Open up to your husband, communicate with him about your feelings. tell him that you need hot and steamy s,ex.... at least tell him how much you need his thing in you....
Haba, as una be friend so, you can't even talk to him. Am sure if he was the one in your shoes he would have already told you what he wants and how he wants it.

COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION and COMMUNICATION.

Bros you talk true
If the guy dey do am na once daily or every two days you will big grammer like libido mismatch

Case in point. See thread https://www.nairaland.com/1226035/what-like-sex-more-than

Thanks y'all. I think from some comments, I have gotten some things right. I was only concern when I started reading about books/articles on marriage and how emphasis was placed on sex and finance as the major cause of marital problems, that was when I had a rethink and started having questions.

If you are not having any serious problems in your marriage, I wonder the doubt. All you need to do is talk to him if you both are as close as you say you are. This shouldn't even be an NL issue and should have been resolved already by just telling him. Who knows, he may want it more, but doesn't know what you will think of him. Being friends before being married, is different from being in a relationship and then being married. A relationship is more involved than a platonic friendship. You guys need time to get comfortable and know each other on the relationship level.

Twice a week GOOD all inclusive sex love making is realistic and enough in a marriage unless of course if the agreement is not mutual.
Like Abali said, communication is the key... Your marriage success is in your hands , fold your hands and keep singing Donna summer 'unconditional love' till eternity OR get off your wallowing and make it work!

'Ohun ti a ko ba fi ara se ise fun kii Tojo'

( what you don't put effort into will never last long)

jidegirl12:

'Ohun ti a ko ba fi ara se ise fun kii Tojo'

( what you don't put effort into will never last long)

Hehehe....Iya Oyo in the making!!!
.
Ori Ade a gbe o oooo...Ase e!!

^this your Baba Oyo trademark is actually dry.Quit it!

semse: I really want to find out if there are other married women like me or if my case is different. I am currently married to a man I love so and I know he loves me so much too. we met back at the university and we were very close friends. We decided to get married April last year. The issue is that I see him more like a friend than a husband. I mean our marriage is more like a platonic relationship. I love it when he holds me, when I rest on his chest, the hugs, jist, going out and every other thing, but we do not have sex often (like once in two weeks or more). We live in same house, sleep in same room, eat in same plate, but sex is always least on our minds, and I am sure he is not cheating on me, neither have I ever thought of cheating on him. He has never complained neither have I because we are perfectly fine with it, but what I read online and in books about marriage and sex, how sex keeps marriage going, and other stuff is quite different from what I am experiencing. We are more like friends than ‘husband and wife.’ Is this supposed to be?

Be careful with your adventure hence you might end up ruining your marriage. What is wrong the way you are living? Sex is not all that is required in relationship and marriage. There are people who have sex like dogs and no peace. You are here going through the internet and other media sources looking for information that may end up destroying your home. One day now , you start downloading pornographic video and getting connected demonically and your marriage will end up been destroyed. One day, you starting seeking sexual satisfaction from outside instead of thanking God for the kind man you have.

In fact, women, stay off internet and look up to God and allow worldly things be.

andyanders:
One day now , you start downloading pornographic video and getting connected demonically and your marriage will end up been destroyed. In fact, women, stay off internet and look up to God and allow worldly things be.

...say what?

slimyem: ^this your Baba Oyo trademark is actually dry.Quit it!

Madam, why don't you create your own wet trademark? Orisirisi!!
.
Mo ro pe o re omode yi di e o!

Baba Oyo:
Madam, why don't you create your own wet trademark? Orisirisi!!
.
Mo ro pe o re omode yi di e o!

O dabi eni pe ara tie gaan ni o ya
Agbalagba to 'nse langbalangba

Trying too hard to be funny and noticed.
Shioor!

There is nothing wrong my dear, inasmuch as you know that none of you is pretending to be okay, for example now, me and hubby have not been intimate for the past 8 days and im sure that we are perfectly alright, all we've been doing on bed, is gossiping , gisting, handling, till one or both of us sleep off,.
However, to avoid any doubt as regards your concern, you can open up a communication in that regard, then, you will be able to get his own part. But, i think, with the way you described your relatinship, i dont think there is any need to be worried.
May God help us all.

slimyem: O dabi eni pe ara tie gaan ni o ya
Agbalagba to 'nse langbalangba

Trying too hard to be funny and noticed.
Shioor!

Slim Yemi, what is the problem? I guess you took my advice to you in the celebrity section badly right? And you decided to do one of my "dry trademark" too? I don't really have much to say to you....eni a wi fun, oba je o gbo....eni ti o gbo........
.
@topic.....I really think Op is a bit concerned weather the hubby & her might not be sex.ually compatible....as much as they are friends, their sexx life is almost non existent!! Why don't you initiate the talk with ur man? Let him know your concerns!! Do you want more sex-capades? Do you accept your current situation because he is not demanding? Will you be willing if he turns into a 5 times a week dude? The ball is in ur court madam......!!!

@Op, don't confuse yourself oooo!!!

Baba Oyo:
Slim Yemi, what is the problem? I guess you took my advice to you in the celebrity section badly right? And you decided to do one of my "dry trademark" too? I don't really have much to say to you....eni a wi fun, oba je o gbo....eni ti o gbo........
.

Your "advice" didn't make any sense so its not an issue.
Infact,i have no problem with you.
I just say things as i see them and truth is your trademark is boring..for real and i just had to let you know
Don't take it personally.

slimyem: Your "advice" didn't make any sense so its not an issue.
Infact,i have no problem with you.
I just say things as i see them and truth is your trademark is boring..for real and i just had to let you know
Don't take it personally.

Well...no offence taken. Your opinion it is!!!
.
Adaba o na ni a n Kun'gbe..........

Before you guys got married how was your sex life like

Were you phocking each other everyday Did you ever complain about too much sex to him or tiredness. Cos sex takes a willing partner

Ti a ba fe fun ni lobo do, A ma je ki oko wole tan ni

Believe you've done right by marrying your friend!! Reality is that u both need to sit and ask each other what you really want! Like Baba Oyo asked earlier, would u like more intimatacy together? Are you simply scared cos u read ome articles or you genuinely want. more romance together? irealy believe communication will go along way in solving your dillema!! Good luck in ur marital life !!
.
@Baba Oyo....are you for real? Guess u really have ur bag of proverbs full!! Nice!!

dayokanu: Before you guys got married how was your sex life like

Were you phocking each other everyday Did you ever complain about too much sex to him or tiredness. Cos sex takes a willing partner

Ti a ba fe fun ni lobo do, A ma je ki oko wole tan ni

Hahahaha....Dayokanu,I can't stop laughing here!! Are you related to Baba Oyo ? Which one be this ur "reformed proverb"? I no fit laugh finish!! Cwazy!!

Baba Oyo ...

Mo n gbadun E bi oyinbo se'n gbadun Siga

We need to let loose once a while around here and take the stick off some peeps ar ses!

dayokanu:
Ti a ba fe fun ni lobo do, A ma je ki oko wole tan ni

oga dayo! Isokudo!
Why not "ti a ba fun ni ni rago, a ma n jowo okun re ni"?

semse: I really want to find out if there are other married women like me or if my case is different. I am currently married to a man I love so and I know he loves me so much too. we met back at the university and we were very close friends. We decided to get married April last year. The issue is that I see him more like a friend than a husband. I mean our marriage is more like a platonic relationship. I love it when he holds me, when I rest on his chest, the hugs, jist, going out and every other thing, but we do not have sex often (like once in two weeks or more). We live in same house, sleep in same room, eat in same plate, but sex is always least on our minds, and I am sure he is not cheating on me, neither have I ever thought of cheating on him. He has never complained neither have I because we are perfectly fine with it, but what I read online and in books about marriage and sex, how sex keeps marriage going, and other stuff is quite different from what I am experiencing. We are more like friends than ‘husband and wife.’ Is this supposed to be?

once in two weeks? tufiakwu!
your husband needs to check his testosterone level. is he 40 yrs or more? i bombard my partner twice a day and i still think i am not doing enough! discussion is still on the way to increase my ration and your husband is fine with once in 2 weeks? what you guys are going through is abnormal but if you are both happy with the arrangement then kudos to you!

once in two weeks? tufiakwu!
your husband needs to check his testosterone level. is he 40 yrs or more? i bombard my partner twice a day and i still think i am not doing enough! discussion is still on the way to increase my ration and your husband is fine with once in 2 weeks? what you guys are going through is abnormal but if you are both happy with the arrangement then kudos to you!

hmmm....

^believe that and you would believe elephants have wings!