It's closing time, and two drunks are getting ready to leave the bar.
"God, I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but my wife always nags me for what seems like hours and keep asking what i was doing outside until that hour".
"Sneaking's not the way to do it. Try slamming the front door, stomping upstrais, and yelling 'Hey baby, let's have sex'. When I do that, my wife always pretends she's sound asleep".

lol ill do just dat