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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / The Love For Humour Begets More (1121 Views)
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The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 10:17am On Apr 02, 2008 |
ANSWERS TO GOOD QUESTIONS What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants. He's sleeping. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard. How can you piss off your wife while making love? Call her from your cell phone. What's the down side to a party? You could disappoint two women instead of just one. How do you know you're really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg. Why were hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 10:25am On Apr 02, 2008 |
There are two gay guys, anusman and his counterpart inside an old abandoned house having anal sex, when suddenly he realizes they're out of Vaseline! So he tells the other he'll be back in a while, with more Vaseline, and not to jack-off. Later, when he returns, he sees cum all over the walls and floor. This angers him and enraged he asks his counterpart, "Why did you jack-off?" Then the counterpart says, "I didn't jack-off, I farted." |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 10:27am On Apr 02, 2008 |
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for? |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 10:39pm On Apr 02, 2008 |
THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY: FEMALE SOFA - - A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. PRICKLY PAIR - - In Michigan a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "a rat in her privates" which bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy. PING PONG ANYONE? - - A 20-year-old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. BLIND DRUNK - - A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH - - A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion the woman crept under the table to administer MouthAction to the man. While in the act she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go. |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by tjtj1(m): 12:10am On Apr 03, 2008 |
lmao |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by tjtj1(m): 12:46am On Apr 03, 2008 |
ya they sould try speed ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by SamMilla1(m): 12:48am On Apr 03, 2008 |
very bad too |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by tjtj1(m): 12:50am On Apr 03, 2008 |
whick one next coke? or pepsi lmao |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by SamMilla1(m): 12:51am On Apr 03, 2008 |
chains |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by tjtj1(m): 12:52am On Apr 03, 2008 |
is tht a new one? |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by SamMilla1(m): 12:54am On Apr 03, 2008 |
no, thats what i recommend for kronky, before we loose him |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by tjtj1(m): 12:55am On Apr 03, 2008 |
chains? hmm lets tie him then but after yuu ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by TOYOSI20(f): 1:03am On Apr 03, 2008 |
Very Nice Jokes, love 'em all. ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 10:05am On Apr 03, 2008 |
@ Toyosi merci girl! enjoy ur urself! @ Gen Sam Milla and tj_tj chains ke? wetin dey worry una naa? un think say i don dey craze abi? because i dey drink weed and smoke hennessy all the time chai. . . . e be like say this thing don dey enter my head oooo *Rushes to get anoda roll of blunt from his drawer* |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by gilgee(m): 10:23am On Apr 03, 2008 |
Kronky on the looooosssseeee. Make una tie am rope before this guy enter market oo. Save a brother! |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by quentininc(m): 4:27pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
kronky i liked ur jokes but the last one about ouch and double ouch i believe u got that 1 from grey's anatomy.there's 1 there where a girlfriend was about to leave her boyfriend so the guy got her car keys and swallowed it.they reported to the ER were an intern was atending to their case and while the intern was trying to bring out the keys the girlfried was screaming her head off letting the keys drop further and further down his oesophagus until he couldn't talk no more.the intern finally got the keys out and attended to other issues only to come back and find them kissing |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by Lolabbey: 5:12pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
na real wah ooo |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by gilgee(m): 5:21pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
Where is the wah? |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by Lolabbey: 5:32pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
so u wan tel me sey u kne see all d wah, hmmm na anoda wahhhhhhhhhhh be dat ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by gilgee(m): 5:53pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
Keep on wahing. Hawaiian good luck to you oo. |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by Lolabbey: 5:56pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
u don try clap 4 yasef |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by olulu(m): 6:01pm On Apr 03, 2008 |
monkey, donkey u had rolling on the floor laughing my big. black, ass off roflmbbao ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by kronkykay(m): 8:21am On Apr 05, 2008 |
heehehehehe my friend cover ur bleeping black a55 before u share ur disease aaround the land i prescribe 2 wraps weed in the morning. . . .2 lines of cocaine in the afternoon. . . .and 10ml heroine @ nyt. . . . ur bleeping black as5 should be admitted at yaba left side without application if u do this for 2days. @quentin-inc aka Dr. Mmeo na wah for u oooo. . . . . u just come here dey burst my nyansh for nland. . . . . it's kool sha. . . WELCOME ON-BOARD MAN! |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by ayusman16(m): 11:18am On Apr 05, 2008 |
See what too much weed on an almost empty brain could cause ![]() |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by jaymobb(m): 11:22am On Apr 05, 2008 |
causing damage to the already dead brain cells |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by delib: 1:31pm On Apr 05, 2008 |
lol |
Re: The Love For Humour Begets More by ituen(m): 10:26pm On Apr 09, 2008 |
cool one kronks |
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