AN OPEN LETTER TO MY FRIEND ON HARMFUL EFFECTS OF MASTURBATION

Dear Nkechi,
I received your letter few days ago requesting me to respond to certain issues about masturbation and its effects generally.
To be frank with you, this is an area I have avoided discussing severally for some personal reasons. But I am compelled to respond to your request at this time because very many have inundated me with the same demand in the recent past. And more, your openness in the letter especially in presenting to me in clear words your sexual life has revealed to me the much trust you have reposed on me. I wish to reciprocate this gesture. As you requested in your letter, I promise you that I would never betray you. Count on me as you have always done. More so, I would do my best to present to you as much information as would help you in this issue.
Furthermore, I do not wish that the information contained in this letter, though addressed to you personally, be retained for your personal consumption alone. I wish that you share your new knowledge with those friends of yours who you reported to me in your letter, had told you that masturbation is all good devoid of any harms or side effects.
My dear, I do not wish to deny that there is something pleasurable about masturbation just as it is with every sexual pleasure including rape and I know that you have been enjoying the act. But the important question remains: Are those pleasurable feelings worth the side effects? Do they make you a better human? Where do they lead you?
You may be shocked to hear me say that I’m not very much surprised that you are engaging in this act at this time. Rather, what has surprised me is how you managed to seek help at this time which is uncommon among the young people engaging in this act. It convinces me that you still appreciate the values we shared together as members of the Block Rosary Crusade. I’m not surprised that you engage in it because masturbation is found excessively among boarding adolescent which you are one. The reason is that boarding houses encourage exchange of information about masturbation and allows room for adventures into it. Unfortunately too, these innocent minds would be fed with the lies about the good sides just as you received from your friends. Thus, they would consider it a better option for relieving sexual tension. That is why I believed you when you said that you engage in it as a better option for fear of getting pregnant with the opposite sex and also the fear of contracting HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. But no matter how good and plausible these reasons may sound, they do not worth engaging in the act as you would see shortly. And in my interactions with other people, they have given similar excuses. Even married couples have told me that they engage in the act as a decision not to be unfaithful to their partners. Wow, could this be choosing between two evils or robbing Peter to pay Paul? Some have even reported to me that they engage in it because of bitterness and disappointment of past or recent relationship with the opposite sex, and also for lack of confidence and courage to approach the opposite sex. An unmarried adult has also told me that he has chosen it as an option for relieving sexual tension instead of seeking sexual relationship with prostitutes. And he called it a “Wise Choice”. Wise indeed?
It is equally true that many engage in it out of natural instinct, many others, and here you belong, are lured into it by bad companions and still many others engage in it because they are addicted to obscene films which arouse sexual desires. And sexual reflexes once activated are powerful reflexes that would continue to clamour insistently for expression. When this occurs, this group sees masturbation as the way out.
My dear, for whatever reason, masturbation is outright evil. It is a sin against God and against nature. Not only is it morally evil, it has various and varied harmful effects. It is outright sinful because it is the use of the sexual organs for a purpose opposed to the real end for which they are intended by God. It contradicts the essential meaning of sex. God designed the sexual act to be an expression of deep love between a husband and a wife for the procreation of children. Masturbation contradicts this purpose and frustrates this design by God. It is a perversion of the order established by God for in masturbation, one closes oneself within oneself. St. Paul on this note pleads with us, “God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin…” (1 Th. 4:3-. He further warns that any form of sexual immorality should not be mentioned among the people of God for the people who behave in such manners would never inherit the Kingdom of God. (Eph. 5:3-5). When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, and eagerness for lustful pleasure. And as you already know, any person who lives that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Gal 5:19-21
Aside the moral implication, masturbation has been reported to have various and varied harmful effects. One major aspect of masturbation is that it is a learned act, and as every learned act, it would soon turn to a habit and once it becomes a habit, it is difficult to come out from it. Many who have formed the habit of masturbation have presented various reports on the harmful effects in addition to reports from medical experts. Unknown to many, most of the side effects would continue to haunt one even many years into one’s marital life. At times, it frustrates the sexual life of the married couple.
NK, I would wish to save the physical effects of this act for my next letter to you, so that I would be able to give it a better touch which it deserves. I equally recognized in your letter that you seek a way to come out of this act. I shall definitely handle them in my subsequent letters. As you anticipate my subsequent letters, I would not stop this piece without informing you that masturbation causes hormonal imbalance throughout the body. This hormonal imbalance gives rise to many effects including rapid aging and early death which results from a syndrome in which one’s vitality goes down. In such cases, one feels exhausted, even as a teenager or a young man or woman. Subsequently, the hair may turn gray, the body becomes thin and loose muscle and one feels old. It also gives rise to irritability and emotional unsteadiness, low self-esteem, sexual difficulties with one’s partner when one gets married and many more. I promise to give you details on these effects in my subsequent letters...
Remain blessed
With love from
Nnamdi

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