Why do you think people can’t stay away from sex before marriage? Maybe we should accept the truths of this matter.
First: Sex is sweet (no vulgarity is intended here please)
Second: sex cannot be a sin (pure common sense)
Third : yes there are understandable limits
Fourth: this truth about sex, on the contrary, actually empowers us against “the temptation”

Sweet sex
This is quite simple, Sex is sweet (no vulgarity is intended here please). Sex appeals to all of us. The fact that something as beautiful as a baby can come as a result is just a welcome addition. We force ourselves, encouraged by the mal-presentation of sex by religions, into mental denial of this fact thus pushing ourselves into an unwinnable internal struggle between a natural expression and a doctrinally imposed abstinence. Several years (millennia) of treating sex as a sin has not empowered people against it. More than 95% of humans enter into some form of premarital sexual activity. There are very few "saints", if any at all. So is sex actually a sin?

Sex is not a sin
No, sex is not a sin. If sex is a sin then it is a sin regardless of marital status and age. Murder is a sin. Age, office, marital, parental or any status will not make murder any less sinful. This applies to other sins/crimes like rape and stealing - a child, just like an adult, who ‘steals’ money will be taught and disciplined in any society with varying degrees of punishments. Adultery is, no doubt, a sin because within the confines of the agreement in marriage, that breach is both legally and socially not tolerable (it is stealing).
Today, religion is also beginning to reconsider. Religion (or Christianity in particular) which all along has held sex before marriage as dirty now encourages people to know the libido levels of their would-be spouses to avoid libido conflict (libido mismatch). Since there are no medical tests for libido levels (feel free to correct me), how do people find out about other people’s sex drives without doing the thing-- severally for that matter? How can one tell if her man’s thing can stand. How will a man know if her lady is sex frigid? Church contradiction, you may say.
Again some issues in the world cannot be described as only either black or white. There is a colour grey in between (255 distinct computer-recognisable shades of grey as a matter of fact). The declaration of sex as a sin by religions classified it as bad. The question is, which sex? So people developed their own ‘grey’ with different levels of abuse. So it may not be coi.tus, but such practices like voy.eur, masturb.ation, BD.SM, conili.ngus, homosexuality, you name it, developed. Even ardent religious people who condemn sex before marriage with intensity are guilty of one form or the other. If u then consider the wise words of the Lord, that even thinking about it is the same as the very act itself, then to the EYES above, virtually all men hold it not to be sin regardless of their "righteous" confessions. Everyone struggles, without success, to keep ‘the beast’ in check. Listening to a typical ‘born again’ Christian describe how calamitous sex before marriage is, one would assume murder to be a much lighter sin. I know a pastor whose ministry is dedicated to this fight with his many unfounded theories. I make bold to dare him. Or anyone for that matter!


The boundaries
Am i suggesting no limitations to sex? No I am not. I am only saying it is not a crime as craftily taught for millennia. But it shouldn’t be a free for all affair like that specie of monkeys (bonobos). The limits should appeal to logical common-sense. Psychological, pathological, physiological, socio-economic and societal health concerns should all play parts in whatever controls are set individually or institutionally. For physiological reasons, as an example, only people within an age bracket can have sex. Someone who cannot control his blood pressure may wisely choose not to have sex regardless of marital status. And it makes all the sense to know your sexually transmitted diseases’ (STD) status and that of your partner while employing all possible preventive measures to be safe and to avoid unwanted/unplanned-for consequences.

Empowerment
Sex, like most desires, is controlled by our thoughts. The more the thought, the more the effect it leaves on us. An x-rated movie can rearrange our priorities in minutes. The constant struggle, both internally and externally (when we hear it talked about or preached), is a focussed thought on the subject matter and quite often leaves its mark. Every new mental romance with the subject via sensual stimuli increases the intensifying pressure to do something.
So what if we stopped this struggle. Not struggling to ward off the thought of sex means we think of it less. It becomes as common a thought as thinking about the air we breathe. Everything we don’t struggle for attracts minimal attention. The air we breathe, water in a stream, the freedoms we have. In like manner we won’t pay a lot of attention to sex thoughts like: does he or she want sex?; is he/she giving me a sign?; who knows what it will be like to try this or that out?. All such thoughts effectively glue our attention to sex, piles pressure which leads to the natural consequence of easing off at any convenient opportunity. All those I know who share my belief that sex is not a sin effectively keep thoughts, and by extension the practice, of sex in proper control. They seem to sit well with the one partner theory – married or not. They never waste valuable time plotting for their next hit. And they are not deliberately sexually suggestive (tempting) to members of the opposite sex.

Conclusion.
We have to stop fighting a war where there is none. Accept sex as a normal biological demand that is just inherent in our nature. Exactly the same natural urge fuels sex both pre and post marriage. This is the reason society and religion has not been able to stop it. If people can quench the sex fire before marriage (which is the religious ideal), they will develop a psychological problem that needs plenty of treatment for the fire to be rekindled and burn again. No wonder most of those who tell us from the pulpits not to engage in sex are themselves ‘offenders’ too (I’m not being judgemental). But if we accept the obvious, the internal struggles which enrich an insignificant desire to the tornado urge we feel, with all of its attendant risks to society, can be checked much the same way we control our very natural desire to drink water - painlessly.
Thanks for reading.

Hmmm! Ds one big pass me o make I no go talk wetin go make Baba God vess for me

On the contrary, this is in no way trying to promote sexual activity. No! No!! It is already too high without any promotions.
I believe that not categorizing it as a sin empowers humans.
Just logical.

reactions are welcome

Go get a life op

@ pretydiva

If you read it at all, you'd notice I wasn't trying to convince anyone.

premarital sex is a sin.

premarital sex is a sin. God has not change his mind about it.

RexBrita:
@ pretydiva

If you read it at all, you'd notice I wasn't trying to convince anyone.

exactly. I didn't bother reading it

@slinkky
Yes, most humans believe pre-marital sex is a sin so why don't they abide by it. Read it, first. I'm actually helping.

@pretydiva
Then u need not comment. One can't judge a book by its cover, abi?

Very nice write-up @OP. I took my time to read every word, and I agree with you, say 98%.

I have always wondered why people will let themselves be enslaved by religious sentiments that even the clerics themselves do not understand.

I have just read the Ten Commandments, for confirmation, and I didn't see anything about sex being a sin. I saw "Thou shall not commit Adultery" anyway. But that is having sexual relations with a married person (which like you rightly pointed out, amounts to stealing from your neigbour).

Some churches have so created an aura of 'divine mystery' around sex, that it is now seen by their clueless followers, as a dirty act, which should only be indulged in for the purpose of procréation.

I wish more people will try to enlighten themselves and demystify sex in our society. It would go a long way in addressing some of the societal anomalies we're experiencing these days.

Sex is no sin . It is a creation of God for us to practise .

OP...nice one, most people are not awakening to the truth.



Welcome to Humanity

@TheRainmaker1
@Alexpissu

Nail-on-the-head points.

RexBrita:
@TheRainmaker1
@Alexpissu

Nail-on-the-head points.

so op r u trying 2 say d bible is wrong because it is in d bible

@Queening

I prefer not to delve deeply into the Bible since the essence isn't to replace your pastor's teachings. My approach is purely "common-sensical". That said, consider these:


1) The Ten Commandments condemns adultery. No mention of preM sex.

2) The Lord Jesus Christ talked about ONLY two laws (or one law, depending on how u look at it) for mankind which is: to Love God with all we have and to Love our neighbours as we love ourselves. The most acceptable interpretation of love for neighbour is the Golden Rule - do unto other what u wish others do to unto you. So provided preM sex is consensual, it is appropriately within the confines of the Golden rule.

3) St. Pauls is the one who mentioned fornication. But remember we know he mentioned somewhere that he can speak as a himself sometimes, not always as an oracle of God. So maybe the same applied there. Just like he said shouldn't marry, except they can't hold themselves.
God Himself had spoken.

But then read the post first. I don't mean the gates should be opened.

A lot of the strange practices (some are terribly strange) in the name of sex these days may have started as a result our fighting this very natural thing in us. MAN CANNOT WIN nature. We cannot stop the flow of a river. We can redirect its path but not stop it. We cannot stop the movement of wind, nor the law of gravity, nor the many naturally occurring phenomena. We can study and understand them, put them to our use, but not stop nature. Shouldn't that be the way forward?

Religion teaches us to stop the nature within. So man developed other outlets, all of which religion continues to fight with almost zero success. I read about how a bishop in an African country summoned ALL the serving clergy under him to declare under oath if anyone had never had a sexual affair since after they got anointed. Only one person is positive. Of course I can never mock the clergy. Just stating the obvious.

Lead us not into temptation...