Punch:
Third term campaigners should leave my husband alone. They have got enough from him

As the debate continues on whether President Olusegun Obasanjo should be allowed another term of four years upon the expiration of his current tenure in May next year, the promoters of tenure elongation have suffered a major blow from Obasanjo’s home front.

His eldest wife, Mrs Remi Obasanjo a.k.a. Mama Iyabo, in an interview with VINCENT AKANMODE, OLAYINKA OYEBODE and ‘NONYE IWUAGWU at her Ikeja, Lagos residence during the week, alleged that her husband was being proded to go for another term by some selfish individuals whose only motivation has been the favours they have been getting from the president.

Lamenting that her husband was being held captive by this band of selfish Nigerians, Mrs Obasanjo pleads with them to allow her husband to return to his Ota home once his current tenure expires, so that he will be able to take a deserving rest.

She reasons that Obasanjo has his limitations as an individual, and it is only reasonable that he be allowed to come home and resta after presiding over the affairs of the country continuously for eight years.

She also speaks on her joy and frustrations as Obasanjo’s first wife, her love life with the president and why she was not keen on being named the nation’s first lady.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
I was born in Ibadan, my father was a railway official. He was an Egbaman.

When were you born?
You want to know my age, well, I was born during the Second World War. I have given you a clue regarding my age, so you can make your deductions from there.

Going down memory lane now, how was growing up like?
It was very interesting. I usually tell my children and other children that they are not enjoying as much as we did during our time. We had so much fun. Growing up was very pleasant for me. My father was being transferred here and there. On every holiday, we would always go to meet him wherever he was. We were given reduced fare tickets. It was like the defunct Nigerian Airways; if any of your parents worked there, you were usually given reduced air fare ticket. I remember my father would always phone- you can only get telephone at the railway stations in those days- my father would telephone other officials in other stations that my children are coming o, send me some bush meat, send me garri and all that.

As a young girl, did you ever experience your fathers wrath? Was there a time he had to beat you because of your behaviour?
I tried as much as possible never to do anything that would make my father rebuke me. But I remember the first and only day he beat me. I remember that day so vividly. There was an inter-house sports in the neighbouring town; my elder sister said I should go with her. When the event was concluded, instead of us heading back home, my sister was busy going around and talking with her friends. I reminded her several times that it was time we went home, but she ignored me. When eventually we got home, it was already late and my father was waiting outside for us. I didn’t need anybody to tell me we were in big trouble. That was the day he beat us. After then, I decided I would not go out with my sister again. If I hadn’t gone out with her in the first place, my father wouldn’t have beaten me.

If you were flogged only once while growing up, it would either mean that your parents were mild or you were a very good child.
I wouldn’t want to sing my own praises, but I know I was very careful. I tried to behave well. I tried as much as possible not to do unpleasant things. Nevertheless, my parents were never in one station, like I told you, so we were taken care of mainly,by my step mother. My mother was the second wife.

How was life in a polygamous home? Did you have a good relationship with your step mother?
We were trained very well. There was no need for any problem. We were trained to respect, not only my step mother, but other people around us. My father’s relatives really taught us a lot of things.

One wonders if your husband, President Olusegun Obasanjo, was already in the army at the time you got married. If yes, how were you able to convince your father to consent to your decision to marry a soldier going by the kind of reputation that uniformed men had in those days?
You people have come again . I didn’t know that this interview would take this angle. But like I told you earlier, my father was transferred from one station to another. How I got myself close to him was that each time I needed to write to him to ask for something or tell him about my needs, I would start the letter by praising him and telling him that God would bless him for being the kind of father he was. Then the second paragraph would be to tell him of my needs. Reading all the nice things I wrote about him, my father would not have any other choice but provide all the things I asked for. I remember the time he was sick, then I was married and I just had a baby. I went to the hospital to see him. He prayed for me, then he told me that he had told my other siblings that he needed rubber slippers and they hadn’t brought them. I quickly rushed out and bought six pairs of that slippers for him. My siblings knew he was going to die, but I said even if he was going to die, it didn’t matter, let him wear the rubber slippers. He was so dear to me and I was so dear to him.

But you still have not answered the question, i want to know your father’s immediate reaction when you told him that you wanted to marry a soldier?
Sorry, I diverted. He wasn’t a soldier when I met him. When he was courting me, my father was in Port Harcourt with my mother, so they didn’t know what was going on. When he was transferred to Abeokuta, my husband was in Ibadan then. He came with two of his friends during one Christmas period. That was when I told my mother that he was my boyfriend. My mother asked why him, and not the other guy. I told her I had made my choice. She said, ‘Ha, but he is not looking well.’ I insisted he was okay for me. My father pretended he didn’t know that he came looking for me. He came as if he was visiting my elder brother.

After then, he would come to the house when my father was around but he would pretend that he wanted to see my brother. It didn’t occur to me that he (my father ) knew until Obasanjo told my father that he was going for a course. By that time, he had joined the army, but he never wore army uniform to our house. I wonder if my father knew very well that he was a soldier. There was no opposition to it, anyway. My father wouldn’t have cared anyway until the time of the second coup when I had already arrived from the UK. That was the July 29, 1966 coup. There was so much commotion, by the grace of God, this country will never experience such a thing. People were telling my father, ahaa, they have killed your daughter and her husband. They were asking my father how he could have allowed his daughter to get involved with a soldier of all men. My father was so fed up, he had to send my mother to Kaduna to find out if we were okay, because my mother had a brother in Kaduna then. But before then, we had already run away to Maiduguri without even telling my uncle who was living in Kaduna then where we were going. My mother arrived Kaduna and her brother told her that he hadn’t seen us. By the time I came back, they were asking why I followed him. I had to ask why I shouldn’t follow my husband.

So what was the attraction you found in him?
You are asking too much question. The attraction, to start with, there was no attraction. This is the truth of the matter. The first day he approached me, I thought I must have done something wrong. I left the church and was going home. We were in the choir together but I didn’t know him. It was after that that I saw him in the group photograph the choir took the previous Christmas, he was even standing right behind me. So the first day he approached me, I just looked at him and I said, ‘this one of all people? Something must have gone wrong.’ so I left.

The attraction later came, however. I was impressed by his perseverance, his love and the patience he had. He was very humble. He was always writing letters and showing commitment. He showed he wanted progress for me. He was working in the library then and he would always send me novels and books and would ask me to tell him the stories in the novel while returning them.

He must have been a very romantic young man?
He was very very romantic. But you are making me say the things I don’t want to say.

How did you cope during the civil war in which your husband was deeply involved?
What I can say is that if you marry a soldier, you are trained to be tough, you have to be very strong. You have to make up your mind and be focused. Sometimes, you will act as the father and the mother at once. You will become the head of the family and even your family members will bring their problems to you. He toughened me. When I went to Britain the first time, I was so naive. I was wondering how I would be able to cope. There was a day he just left me at the bus stop. I didn’t know how I was going to manage, it was getting dark and I was new in London. I said this man must be wicked. But I was able to get back home. From then, I knew that I just have to be tough.

So what was the civil war experience like?
Terrible

Where were you then?
You are asking for too much

But we don’t get to meet the wife of the President all the time
Don’t worry, I am working on something when that comes out you will know more about all these things.

Just want to know how you related with Baba’s close friends like, Prince Ajibola, Dr Onaolapo Soleye,
(Cuts in), Don’t even talk about Soleye, he is not Obasanjo’s friend.

You mean he is no longer Obasanjo’s friend?
No, they have never been friends. They are not age mates. They were not classmates. Soleye and the rest were the people we were looking up to. I happen to have known all these people since my younger days, they were very senior to me. Before I got into Baptist Day School, Before I entered School too, they had gone to BHS. Prince Ajibola is alright but Soleye meddled with Obasanjo and I can tell you this. If Obasanjo is doing anything wrong, you can trace it to Soleye. He is a very bad influence. He ruined him. I can say it in front of God.

Does Baba share this same opinion with you?
How will I know how he feels? If Baba now knows, he didn’t know before that Soleye was that bad. If a man wants to write a will, will he put a more elderly person as the executor of the will? Draw your conclusion from this.

What lessons have you learnt from that?
Soleye’s meddling with Obasanjo’s life starting from 40 years ago, the lesson is that the younger ones should be vigilant of friends, of people who come close especially if you are moving up. If the army was not involved in the governance of this country, Soleye wouldn’t have been close to Obasanjo. He has never had anything of his own except what he gets from Obasanjo. He used him to get positions and yet he barred Obasanjo from taking care of his children.

But what advice did you give Baba?
Baba? Advice? Baba has so many advisers.

You should be his number one adviser
Soleye should be his adviser.

How does it feel to have a husband who is the president of a country as big as Nigeria? Does it not get to your head at times that your husband is a president?
It does not make any difference to my life. Even if you are married to a labourer, he is a human being, we eat the same food. I can’t eat gold as the wife of the president. the labourer sleeps on a bed, I can’t sleep on two beds, can I? When we die, we still go to the same ground, six feet down. So what is the difference, or how do you want me to feel, may be you will answer the question.

I was never a President’s wife
Moreover, when he was courting me, I didn’t know he would be president. And if the Army did not take over government, If his friend Chukwuma, didn’t plan the coup, I don’t see how Obasanjo would have ruled this country.

He could still have ruled as a democratically elected president
He would have been, maybe, a professor wearing a dirty tie. because he was studying for Geology, I know he was very brilliant, he would have become a professor, that would have been the highest level for him. and what a professor’s wife would feel, may be the opportunity to live a slightly better life. you can afford some little comfort, what else?

How do you spend your weekends?
Ahaa, that is the kind of question I want. My weekends are usually busy. It is either I am going to one function or the other. Then on Sundays, I go to church and receive visitors.

Do you still go to Baptist?
No, I no longer go there. I have left it for Soleye. He has driven me from there.

Where do you worship now, a pentecostal church?
Yes

So you are a born again
Yes, I am born again

A lot of people who want some favour from Baba would certainly go through you, how do you cope with this task?
They do. There was even a time I was telling Baba about it and he said something like a proverb that “it is better for people to worry you than for you to be totally forgotten”

You are a mother of a commissioner. Do you encourage your kids to go into politics?
I allow my children to live their lives. I don’t make choices for them. I allow them to,exhibit their talent. The teacher of one of my grandchildren wrote in her report card that she is brilliant but that she talks too much, so I told the mother leave her o, may be she too wants to go into politics like Iyabo. You know when Iyabo too was in Queen’s College, the teacher said the same thing about her. But politics in Nigeria is very rough. We don’t practise it the way it should be, so I wouldn’t want many of them to go into politics.

But did you deliberately discourage them from joining the army?
Would you blame me if I do that? But I did not discourage them, I may have my own reservations.

One imagines that you have sacrificed so much for this country, because your husband has been involved in governance for many years and you are been robbed of the affection of a husband. How much price have you paid for Nigeria?
To be honest, I have paid more than my dues. Starting from 1966 when I came back from Britain, it has always been up and down. I used to tell people that I am married into trouble, I got children in trouble, they grew up in trouble, but many people don’t realise this. But I am very happy now seeing you younger people appreciating that fact, because my own generation don’t see it that way. Most people in my generation would say ‘you are really enjoying.’ They look at the glamourous aspect of it and say you are enjoying too much. They know the other side, but they are not bothered about it. They believe everything is about enjoyment. Some of them would even call me and say “e ku igbadun o,” and I would respond, “a n gba gan o.” I would tell them we are really enjoying, because they know, but pretend not to know. You can imagine what you go through especially in raising children. When you have a father but you don’t have a father; when you have a husband but you don’t have a husband. Since 1966, there is no time, I could say has been okay. But what can anybody do? You take up your cross and carry it. So I have taken my cross and I am carrying it.

Should you come back to this world again, would you still marry a soldier?
I leave that to God, because he is the only one who can direct one’s footstep. As you are made, so you will be. Actually, I believe in destiny. There is destiny, and you don’t know that hand that is directing the affairs of your life. For instance, meeting him. When I was going to church, was I going there to meet a man? Certainly not. I went there to worship my God. So I believe in destiny. Even if as a child I had wished to marry a president, if the army did not take over government in Nigeria, would I have become the wife of the president?

There is a debate going on in the National Assembly over the constitutional review,
Third term? I know you are coming to that.

If you were a senator, would you vote for tenure elongation?
I am praying. I am just praying.

But supposing you are one of the senators,
But I am not. I know that is the reason you are here; you want to know my opinion on third term. Okay, if you were a senator too, what would be your own opinion. We can also have our own debate here. (pointing) you tell me what is your opinion on third term

Well, since you are asking, I am opposed to third term, I think two terms is okay.
(Pointing) all-right, what about you?

I think eight years are enough
(Pointing )What about you?

Well, in your own interest, I believe that tenure elongation is not necessary, because you have been deprived of your husband for too long.
Thank you. Yes, I am with you. You have a very good reason. I am totally in support of that. That’s true, eight years is okay. They should leave him. And people like Soleye, they should just go. People like him o, I am not saying him alone; so that he can enjoy the rest of his life. I am with you 100 per cent. I think people should please leave him alone for him to rest. At least they have got enough of whatever they want from him.

Do you have any regret in life?
Not at all. Well, I wish the country is not like it is now, because I know what the country ought to be or where it should be by now. It is not because of myself but because of people like you, the younger generation. My generation has damaged everything. When we were abouth getting independence, I remembered the song we used to sing then. The songs says, “I have a dream, if the dream comes true , I will salute the courage and forthrightness of Awolowo and Azikwe, etc.” It was a great dream. But what do we have now, nothing, especially for the younger generation. I usually tell my children that I am satisfied with myself, but with my children and grand children, I am not happy. Go abroad, you will see Nigerians languishing there. They are languishing there. They went there because things were hard here, they thought it would be better there, now they can’t even come back home. People here are better than some of them now. And to come back here now is a problem. I remember in 1963 when I first went there, I said if this is how this place looks like, I better stay there.

Do you think it is still possible for Nigeria to reclaim that glorious past?
Yes, everything is possible with God.

But that is why the pro-third term people want him to stay a little longer, so that he can take the country back to the glorious era. Don’t you think it is reasonable?
Remember also that he is a single person. The impact one person can make is very limited. Your own contribution , my own contribution, the labourer’s contribution, the assistants’ contributions are all important. But if he is pushing here and 30 people are pulling there, , it can’t work. And that is what has been happening. So with good ideas, good intentions, people don’t … Don’t let me talk too much.

Is that why you opted out of the first lady thing?
Yes, I don’t want to be involved.

But you would have been able to make your own contributions through that office.
Yes, you may want to make your contribution, but will the people allow you? It is our society; the society is rotten. We don’t know what is good from what is bad. In the olden days, you dared not be bad, because people would isolate you. When they even looked at you, you would be ashamed of yourself. But now, they will hail you. The situation has turned around; it is abnormal. The evil ones are now the champions that people hail. If you are hard working and you value the truth, you make your mistakes as a human beings, but it will be genuine mistakes. You would not set out to do wicked things knowingly, because you had the power; they would call you a bad person. But the bad ones of those days are the good ones now. People who don’t have conscience are the people in power now, they are those who are close to power and direct our country.

So how can these external influences that rubbish good intentions be dealt with?
Okay, lets take NEPA; haven’t they sunk money into NEPA? Why is NEPA not working? Why?

Is it that there are wrong people there or that the political will is lacking?
I don’t know

Skidoc:

Hehehe Do you know how many wives OBJ has?

Orikinla:

Mrs. Remi Obasanjo popularly called "Rhema"is the first and only legitimate wife of President Olusegun Aremu Okikiola Matthew Obasanjo. The other so called "wives" were are are his mistresses.
Finis.

May the Almighty God continue to bless Mrs. Remi Obasanjo and bless her with longer life and more prosperity.

chinani:

Chasing pussy & collecting whores makes for a bad father figure.

chinani:

@Spikedcylinder
What's aso edi? Er, I don't think Nigerians deserve their leaders either. _{Did the Jews of Berlin deserve their leaders?}

GL:

Actually, Stella was the legitimate wife at her death. He divorced all his other wives when he came out of prison. During her burial, he said he remarried her in the Catholic church months before her death. So I guess Stella was also legal.

It doesn't seem like he had a first lady during his military tenure. Did he?

Polygamy is not a big deal in Nigeria. The most important thing is that the men take care of all the children and their mothers. OBJ is wealthy so I don't think that would have been a problem for him. Most of our big men here are polygamists. I don't think his being a polygamist affects his job as President. Most of our past presidents were polygamists. Abiola was a big one too. Atiku is. It's a Nigerian thing, even paupers want to enjoy the luxury of having several women. They inherited the culture from our ancestors. Majority of us descended from polygamous ancestors.

I can't make out what Mrs. OBJ's problem with Soleye (whoever he is) is. I wonder what OBJ and Iyabo's reactions will be like when they read this.

Yes, you may want to make your contribution, but will the people allow you? It is our society; the society is rotten. We don’t know what is good from what is bad. In the olden days, you dared not be bad, because people would isolate you. When they even looked at you, you would be ashamed of yourself. But now, they will hail you. The situation has turned around; it is abnormal. The evil ones are now the champions that people hail. If you are hard working and you value the truth, you make your mistakes as a human beings, but it will be genuine mistakes. You would not set out to do wicked things knowingly, because you had the power; they would call you a bad person. But the bad ones of those days are the good ones now. People who don’t have conscience are the people in power now, they are those who are close to power and direct our country.