I know this is common in naija  to go to parties uninvited but my case is unique.

An acquaintance  (I hardly know ) whom I met through someone else asked me to wear ashoebi for her wedding.
I gladly accepted and gave her the money for the lace and headtie which I received late last year.
I ran into her at a store and while discussing I asked when the card was coming out.
She asked if I didn't get one yet,I said No.
she took my address again and that was a few months ago.
The wedding is in May and I stll haven't received a card.
I haven't sewn my Ashoebi either.

What would you do if you were in my shoes ?
My hubby I know for sure will have a hard time attending a wedding of someone he hardly knows let alone without an invitation.

you've already gotten yourself committed by buying the clothes. My dear, if you try all you can to get the address and you don't, you definitely can't gatecrash and you can't drag you husband along!

dominobaby:

you've already gotten yourself committed by buying the clothes. My dear, if you try all you can to get the address and you don't, you definitely can't gatecrash and you can't drag you husband along!

I'm sure you meant "tried all you can to get the invitation"
Thanks for the input.
I'm definitely not calling her to send me an invitation,(I don't even know her number)I can't debase myself that much.

bia, u better not try it. y should u beg for invitation? if she wan send am then fine if not she can stuff it up her ass.

Find out if others have recieved an invitation. If yes. . . . . don't go. Simple.

Make sure you send a present tho. This is to clear yourself if she comes up to you later

I personally wont go to ANY wedding unvitied. I don't know how people do it. But your case is different because you're doing aso ebi for her. So i would say go.

why bothering your self now? you have tried by buying the Aso Ebi, if you really want to be there you need an invitation card. and what if you get there and is this strictly by invitation thing? you will now get your embarrased. i am suppose to attend one wedding like that too this saturday but she did not give me an invitation card she did not even tell me but some of my coleagues are going. and thank goodness my exam is coming up this month so i need to read more, i will rather stay in my house and read my books instead of doing mogbo mo branch jare .

Nwam,
YOu have conveniently boxed yourself into a corner by giving her money for Aso ebi.
She needed your money to defray some cost,not really interested in seeing your face.
Kaput.
Just have a gift handy for her.
Jah bless.

I would think 'Aso Ebi' by itself is an invite.

And I would say find out where the venue is and attend the wedding. Sometimes these people are too busy with last minute preparations to remember minute things like who they haven't sent an invite. Far too many things to think about at times like that. She told you about the wedding, you bought the 'Aso Abi'. Am sure as far as she in concerned you have been invited.

On a final note no sane person would see you as a gatecrasher in 'uniform'. 'Aso Ebi' is close family and friends.

If i take a step, and the other person does not count it necessary to take a step too. Hmmn! no wahala, that is case closed [/b]because i don't do "by force" friendship.

You have bought the Aso-ebi which is first step, u met her again and asked for the IV, and she didn't still make a move. Perhaps the wedding is annulled . _jokingThere's no stress to this, don't move an inch until she sends u an IV.

But in Niaja buying the aso-ebi is naturally a [b]good ticket to the wedding.

how much was the asoebi?

just chalk it off as a loss - we sometimes have to do that

Strangely enough I am attending a wedding next week and I haven't been given an invite either. However I have bought the aso-ebi and as far as I'm concerned, that's my invite. She wouldn't have asked you to buy aso-ebi if she didn't want you at the wedding. And please, ya'll acting as if you don't know the stress involved with weddings etc. Maybe she didn't have enough invites, maybe she forgot, maybe she kept meaning to send it but never got round to doing it. Anything could have happened but she offered you the aso-ebi and you paid; I would consider that as an invite. There's no use jumping to conclusions that she didn't want you there. No one offers aso-ebi to someone they don't want at their party.

oyb:

how much was the asoebi?
just chalk it off as a loss - we sometimes have to do that

not much at all but gorgeous, under $100 .
it was flown in from balogun market

NaJa HaJe:

Find out if others have recieved an invitation. If yes. . . . . don't go. Simple.

Make sure you send a present tho. This is to clear yourself if she comes up to you later

The others not only got a card, they also got a "save the date" card preceeding the invitation.

if i happen to be in your shoe, i wont go unless i got an invitation.

Though sometimes the preparation can be demanding, but try and take one more bold step on getting the invitation , and if it fails , then cath fun on that day.

your presence doesnt really make a difference, since its not a close pal to you.

@Poster,
I understand how you must feel. However, the fact that she informed you of aso-ebi, which you already have is an invite to me. If she didn't want you there, she wouldn't have mentioned it. Weddings are very stressfull and your friend might just have to many things on her mind. To her she may actually think that since you have the aso-ebi, that would count as an invite. Remember that "SAVE THE DATE reminder" is for those that already received the IV'S which she may have forgotten to add you to. Don't assume she doesn't want you there, if you know the venue, u can show up there with your gift or try to call reach her first just to make sure you do not need an IV to get in.
I have attended several weddings and parties like that, if I happen to already have the aso-ebi, I actually ask them to save the IV and send to someone else as long as they give me the location. Some will even give me the aso-ebi and tell me that is my invitation. With the aso-ebi, you are certainly not a party crasher but an invitee.

honestly if u will ask me i think whoever it is just needed the ashebi money to complete some of d things that needed money to be completed at d wedding,because i wonder y u have not received your card,its not as if they have not shared d cards or sthg

coolier:

I would think 'Aso Ebi' by itself is an invite.

And I would say find out where the venue is and attend the wedding. Sometimes these people are too busy with last minute preparations to remember minute things like who they haven't sent an invite. Far too many things to think about at times like that. She told you about the wedding, you bought the 'Aso Abi'. Am sure as far as she in concerned you have been invited.

On a final note no sane person would see you as a gatecrasher in 'uniform'. 'Aso Ebi' is close family and friends.

am more along these lines.

I sometimes crash weddings but i dont buy the aso-ebi if i dont know them well.
Just arrive in your aso-ebi and you are good!

Thank you my friend for this topic.

ah ah, for my sister's wedding we had 100+ uninvited people. Not only that, the UNINVITED ppl were collecting the gifts off the table, ah ah, nah wah for them OOOH, if your uninvited please oooh for God's sake dont come oooh to the RECEPTION, you can come to the wedding, NOT THE RECEPTION ooh, we pay for you to come and eat my friends,

the invitation also contains the address of the wedding so how's she supposed to get there?

She can find out from people she knows who are attending the wedding. Bottom line is, the bride gave her aso ebi, that's an invite.

I wouldn't attend a wedding uninvited, no.

My advise would be no, don't go to the wedding. Even though I understand that the bride may be busy with preparations and such, but i feel like if she really wanted you or was looking forward to seeing you at the wedding, she would have made time to send the invitation, or get in touch with you somehow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that she dislikes you, but you're probably not a priority to her, which is okay.

Also, buying asoebi is not automatically an invite or big deal anymore, some people are now selling asoebi as strictly a business venture. On the bright side, you have a lovely new material that you can use to sew something hawt  

kokobaby:

On the bright side, you have a lovely new material that you can use to sew something hawt  

My thoughts exactly