Am quite confused and I remembered that Nairalanders might be helpfull in my case as they have been in some other....I graduated in 2010,got married shortly afterwards in 2011 and started birthing in 2012...one of the conditions my father agreed T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ hand me over T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ my husband,after the normal "take good care of my daughter"slogan was that my husband promised T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ help further my education from my degree were I stopped T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ Masters level..late last year I saw an advert which he actually showed me about Masters degree,I was happy because that's what I wanted,purchasing the form afterwards became a problem as he kept dodging it till d last day of payment and registration,thank God I was able T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ meet up and T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ God's glory my name came forth for admission,right from the day I went T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ the school T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ check out if my name was shorthlisted,I called my husband T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ tell him d "goodnews",for the first time my husband quickly told me he was busy that we would talk later..I knew if he were in a meeting he won"t pick in the first place,so I recalled n he told me he was playing tennis...hmmmm,when he got home I brought up d issue of screening and that it had begun for like 1month,my hussy actually shouted me down not T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ bother him,like d calm and unnagging wife that I am,I kept my mouth shut,he later that day started telling me dat doing my masters is a waster of time,most expercially now that am yet T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ get a job,because if I get a job that is outside my discipline I will have T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ take another time T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ run a programme in that course again making my masters a waste...I quietly succumbed...now my parents A̶̲̥̅®ε̲̣̣̣̥ aware and they won't want T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ hear it that my husband refused me d admission,expercialy now that am yet T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ get a job...what do I do?am not d nagging wife that naggs her way tru,,and now my husband might feel my parents A̶̲̥̅®ε̲̣̣̣̥ wanting T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ run me even in my husbands house,,I want T̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣̥ run d Masters but can't without his cash

Ooo,plz I need reply..

Not legible..

Modified

On my pc screen it looked gibberish but when I used my fone it looked better - guess I will use bb for this kind of text

As Nash as said your priority is your new family not your old and he has a strong point

If you get a job as a banker or audit trainee, your masters in agric may not be relevant more of acca or mba will be suitable

If you want to be busy while a job comes on, consider other prof courses such as acca/cipd

An alternative masters course is Economics whoch would put you in good stead with multinational firms like world bank, ifc or ADB

But you are the wife and are aware of your situation viz when you want to start parenting, the funds to prosecute any program

You guys should sit togeda and plan accordingly

Short term (less than 2 years), medium term (2 - 5 years) and long term (> 5 yrs)

Come up with the family plan and try to be flexible remembering no plan is foolproof
Then step out in faith

You may consider deferring the course but most importantly 2 of you have to be agreed

@OP.. You didnt mention ur course of study in the university. Personally, i think your husband have a point for the reasons he stated. Maybe you can consider doing a professional course in your field of study for now and continue to apply to jobs. Masters in some Nigerian Universities are Nightmares nowadays.. So time consuming.. U graduated in 2010,u still av time to study, take your time to stabilize ur family for now,run professional courses and think of getting a good job. All the best..

First of all, you are a married woman and you primary responsibility is to your new family i.e yourself, husband and children when they come. Your parents become secondary. Infact they can only advice you but they do not have a right to insist on what you should do. You made a vow to your husband and not your parents.

If a Masters is what you really want, sit with your husband and find out if you both can afford it and if the timing is fine. I would adivice you to limit your parents involvement from now on. You are a matured married woman and decisions need to be taken with your husband. So it is him and only him you should be talking to.

squad1: @OP.. You didnt mention ur course of study in the university. Personally, i think your husband have a point for the reasons he stated. Maybe you can consider doing a professional course in your field of study for now and continue to apply to jobs. Masters in some Nigerian Universities are Nightmares nowadays.. So time consuming.. U graduated in 2010,u still av time to study, take your time to stabilize ur family for now,run professional courses and think of getting a good job. All the best..

. Agricultural Economics

The only reason your parents gave you away to this man is because of what he could do for you? Leave your parents out of it. If your husband cannot afford it, suspend admission to another year or 2 and look for a job. Then pay your way.

Ɣ☺ΰя parents power over you ceased the day you got married τ̲̅ȍ Ɣ☺ΰя husband and so ‎u should follow Ɣ☺ΰя husbands suggestions and •̸№t Ɣ☺ΰя fathers rules.If actually Ɣ☺ΰя parents wanted a masters degree for you,then they would have asked you •̸№t τ̲̅ȍ get married while they sponsor you through that course.And mind you a masters degree does •̸№t guarantee Ɣ☺ΰя success in life or marriage.So be wise and focus on how τ̲̅ȍ start working or doing a biz τ̲̅ȍ empower yourself.

The posters above have all spoken well! OP pls b careful so that this doesnt lead to quarrel between ur hubby n family. Never let it lead to ur family saying ur hubby is nt takin care of u n from there.....

How some parents look life sef, pikin wey don finish university dem still dey tell I'm husband make e take am go masters.

Tell ur dad to pay for master if he want a masters holder for a daughter, ur hubby want a degree holder for a wife hence he married one.

Naija families wit Demand upon demand. Some go say train my other children, buy me car, carry me go Amelica. Haba

You father's ambition for you is null and void the moment you threw your lot with this man in matrimony.
Your husband's first priority for you, as is expected , is to be a good wife,a good mother and queen of the castle. Your Masters or PHD ambition is not his priority, and you should not expect it to be, especially, if your father keeps pushing it.
If your father keeps pushing, its going to be a battle of whose will would triumph. In that case, I cannot see a win win situation for you and your home.
Leave this issue for now.
Much later on, when the kids are mature enough, then you can try softly to persuade your husband.
But your family should be your most important priority right now.
You cant eat your cake ans till have it.

Its easy. Leave masters for now, get a job and build a career in that field. Every parent wants their child to be sucessful and I must say your parent have really tried to make you what you are.you are now married let them not influence your new life. Agric econs?? Masters in what?? Now where do u want to work with that?? Its better you get more aggresive with job hunt get a job n build a career in that field thereby making dad happy and also bringing in more income into the family.
Its well

Just write better English with good spelling.

RULE 1: Never get married when you are not ready to face what comes with it.

RULE 2: Your husband is the head of your family now and not your father: so take orders from him.

Sister, you are so lucky, you've got the best advice you could get, its now left for you to decide. Make the right decision, so that you wont have run back to NL seeking for help on why your hubby do not show concern about your matters again.
I sincerely wish you goodluck(not our presido o) in the decision you are about to make.

One more thing, stop running to your parents when you and your hubby have issues, it wont earn you any respect.
Shalom!

@poster,what is most important is what you want,not what ur father or ur husband wants. If u really want to go back to school,don't allow anyone stop u. Marriage is not slavery. Get a job,save money and sponsor urself. U'll look back in years to come and thank God u decided to take the bull by the horns at d time u did.
I was in a similar situation,except dt my husband supported d idea initially,but when it was time for school fees,he acted disinterested. I nearly forfeited my admission cos I didn't have money,but on d day of d deadline for payment,I made one half-hearted call to my sister who wired d money asap,and I payed. I don't regret d decision,and now my husband is trying to make amends for not helping(he had money then). So,op,follow ur heart.

^^^^ You are on point and so far have given the best advise. Marriage is not slavery and its all about what the OP wants.

This is why women are encouraged to have something doing. If your man starts his shakara, you sort yourself out. Education is not something I kid with.

Get a job, the men say no. Further your education and its still a no, what do they want? Housewives ?

chioma134: @poster,what is most important is what you want,not what ur father or ur husband wants. If u really want to go back to school,don't allow anyone stop u. Marriage is not slavery. Get a job,save money and sponsor urself. U'll look back in years to come and thank God u decided to take the bull by the horns at d time u did.
I was in a similar situation,except dt my husband supported d idea initially,but when it was time for school fees,he acted disinterested. I nearly forfeited my admission cos I didn't have money,but on d day of d deadline for payment,I made one half-hearted call to my sister who wired d money asap,and I payed. I don't regret d decision,and now my husband is trying to make amends for not helping(he had money then). So,op,follow ur heart.

You make it look like your husband had to be reponsible financially for your education.You women always think the man has to carry everything.

.

You didn't mention the financial position of your hubby. Is he well to do and just does not like the idea of you going back to school or money is he major concern? If he does not just like the idea then getting a job may not even make him change his mindset. Have a heart to heart talk with him and find out the main reason while he does not want you to further for now. If finance is the problem then try your posible best to get yourself a job,no matter what the take home may be then other things can follow. Most importantly work in harmony with your hubby,he now comes before your parents.

My opinion;
For nw, defer d admission. Ur husband might not presently have d means t pursue it n is too proud, as most men are, or actually has misgivings abt it as stated, either way d time will allow y'all t sort yourselves out.
Leave ur parents outta it. except it gets outta hand. U r married .now, let him b d head.
Personally, I don't agree wit posters saying ur husband is right. Reaching d pinnacle of ur chosen profession is important. If d Master program will enable u position urself f greater tins tmrw, den by all means go f it.
In all sha, wisdom is profitable t direct..

chioma134: @poster,what is most important is what you want,not what ur father or ur husband wants. If u really want to go back to school,don't allow anyone stop u. Marriage is not slavery. Get a job,save money and sponsor urself. U'll look back in years to come and thank God u decided to take the bull by the horns at d time u did.
I was in a similar situation,except dt my husband supported d idea initially,but when it was time for school fees,he acted disinterested. I nearly forfeited my admission cos I didn't have money,but on d day of d deadline for payment,I made one half-hearted call to my sister who wired d money asap,and I payed. I don't regret d decision,and now my husband is trying to make amends for not helping(he had money then). So,op,follow ur heart.

In ur own case u had a sista who u culd turn to but does d poster have anyone who can b of assistance?
I have a friend who her husband didnt support her going back for Masters then. He refused to gve her #1 and she ddint have work. She struggled to finish with the help of her elder sista.
Have u asked urself wot u actually want to become so that u can channel ur study towards ds side?
U studied agric econs, do u want to go into management or science? U dont just do Masters all ind name dat i want to have 2nd degree.
When do u plan to work and wot do u plan to do dre? These r the questions dat will guide ur path towards ur career development.
If u want career in Mgt, start with professional exams first. By d time u have ds in ur Cv, u may likely get a job.
After ur course and a job is in place, u can start thinking of going for ur MBA. By this time u shld hv know ur career path, made some money and from there ur husband can come in.
You can start with NIM, CIPM,CIA. All these will make u a professional in Mgt field and u can still run ds course while u r working cos u only go for classes on weekends.
Another thing is if ur is husband a Masters holder, he may not want u 2 have d same qualification with him depending on his level of reasoning. Try and talk to him about professional courses again and see his reactions.
You can ask him to even direct you on woot to do since u think he knows better.

Asper u rparent, pls leave them out and when dey ask, tell them both of u r working it out. That good news will come out of it. Just try to calm them down.

bebe2: How some parents look life sef, pikin wey don finish university dem still dey tell I'm husband make e take am go masters.

Tell ur dad to pay for master if he want a masters holder for a daughter, ur hubby want a degree holder for a wife hence he married one.

Naija families wit Demand upon demand. Some go say train my other children, buy me car, carry me go Amelica. Haba

Don't mind her.and she agreed! Now she want her husband to do what he promised under duress.
@op,look for work.help urself.u hv ur first dgre,or like others said do a prof course.by no means rely on ur hubby.
Since ur dad is so into u getin ur second degree,can't he help u out?

nikkykay:
In ur own case u had a sista who u culd turn to but does d poster have anyone who can b of assistance?
I have a friend who her husband didnt support her going back for Masters then. He refused to gve her #1 and she ddint have work. She struggled to finish with the help of her elder sista.
Have u asked urself wot u actually want to become so that u can channel ur study towards ds side?
U studied agric econs, do u want to go into management or science? U dont just do Masters all ind name dat i want to have 2nd degree.
When do u plan to work and wot do u plan to do dre? These r the questions dat will guide ur path towards ur career development.
If u want career in Mgt, start with professional exams first. By d time u have ds in ur Cv, u may likely get a job.
After ur course and a job is in place, u can start thinking of going for ur MBA. By this time u shld hv know ur career path, made some money and from there ur husband can come in.
You can start with NIM, CIPM,CIA. All these will make u a professional in Mgt field and u can still run ds course while u r working cos u only go for classes on weekends.
Another thing is if ur is husband a Masters holder, he may not want u 2 have d same qualification with him depending on his level of reasoning. Try and talk to him about professional courses again and see his reactions.
You can ask him to even direct you on woot to do since u think he knows better.

Asper u rparent, pls leave them out and when dey ask, tell them both of u r working it out. That good news will come out of it. Just try to calm them down.

This is nice..
Maybe you should start with writing the professional exams, add it to your cv and get a job, then see yourself through school..
Please dont allow this little thing to bring unnecessary problems into your home..

swtcharissa: . Agricultural Economics

Honestly I think a masters in Agric Economics is pretty much useless, Ask yourself aside from your parents demand, What do you hope to achieve with a Masters in Agric?

Since you dont have a job, You should talk to people working and see the fields in demand, Writing ACCA, CFA, even delving into IT, if you have the knack for it would be more rewarding than a masters in Agric Econs

If I have a wife who studied Zoology doesnt have a job yet and tells me she wants to go for a masters in Zoology without any clearly defined plans of what to do with it.

When she would have to pay for it, Waste her time on it and still end up jobless, I would also discourage her

Some people in Nigeria are just obsessed with masters this PhD that.

Its better you look at professional courses which are better regarded. Most fields would hire a ACCA, CPA, CFA, CCNA, CCNA, CISSP, etc ahead of a Masters or PhD unless na to lecture

dayokanu:

Honestly I think a masters in Agric Economics is pretty much useless, Ask yourself aside from your parents demand, What do you hope to achieve with a Masters in Agric?

Since you dont have a job, You should talk to people working and see the fields in demand, Writing ACCA, CFA, even delving into IT, if you have the knack for it would be more rewarding than a masters in Agric Econs

If I have a wife who studied Zoology doesnt have a job yet and tells me she wants to go for a masters in Zoology without any clearly defined plans of what to do with it.

When she would have to pay for it, Waste her time on it and still end up jobless, I would also discourage her

Some people in Nigeria are just obsessed with masters this PhD that.

Its better you look at professional courses which are better regarded. Most fields would hire a ACCA, CPA, CFA, CCNA, CCNA, CISSP, etc ahead of a Masters or PhD unless na to lecture

I agree though, masters in agric econs is a waste of time

@OP...wondering why everyone spoke looking in one direction....the fact that you are married doesnt mean you wont have a life. What happens to this lady should this marriage end today (God forbids)? Her father might have expressed his concern in a crude way but what an elder sees while seated, a young man may never see it if he climbs a tree.

Here are my few cents to the OP...
1.)No degree is a waste of time just like no degree guarantees a great future. It all depends on you. Your masters in agricultural extension (economics or others) can be a taught masters which can enable you lecture in a tertiary institution (University, Polytechnics, colleges of education, etc.) as you work on your PhD. Education is a goldmine many are overlooking forget the frequent ASUU strikes. Besides the advantages of lecturing, you will have ample time to raise your kids. Its not everyone that will be a chattered this or that...besides time is fast running out on this certifications. Many chartered are walking the streets with nothing to show. People will always go to school. Teachers who know their onions will never be out of demand.

2.) Its never too late for you and your hubby to chat a future and vision for your family, cause it seems you didn't put one in place at the beginning of the relationship. A FAMILY VISION is as important as a personal vision. Questions like where will our family be in the next 5 years, What class of school will our kids attend? what type of neighborhood will the kids grow? What type of vacation and how often will the family have? etc. You can still re-visit these issues and ultimately define the expectations and input of both parties to the realization of the family vision. Seems like your hubby has a different plan for you outside the one you have for yourself which is not well communicated.

3) I also pick from your post that there seems to be an air of superiority around your hubby. This can be traceable to the fact he calls the shot financially in the home or he is more educated. Dont wait till you are pressured/desperate to proof to your husband you are not dumb. Start adding value to yourself. You have access to e-learning, read and study broadly on-line. Everyman will bow to superior intelligence. Many marriages know no joy beyond the second year because of the "see-finish" syndrome. You are usually at home in your home-wears as you have no job at the moment while your husband goes to work everyday and he sees all sorts of well-dressed, "intelligent" and charming ladies out there. Dont be fooled to sit at home for any reason, no matter the amount of the allowance he gives you. Start adding value to your life...

4.) Thank goodness you are not a nagging wife. If he doesn't listen to you at all, it means he doesnt trust your sense of judgement. Allow the issue rest for a while and prayerfully seek a good time to re-present the issue. Dont argue from the standpoint of what your father told him. Make your points logical and don't make it a closed-ended issue like you have already made-up your mind and he must just comply....leave it open-ended asking for his alternatives on the issue.

5.)Lastly, do a soul-searching and ask yourself what exactly you can do for yourself outside going for a masters and all that. It is key you start doing something. START YOU MUST ASAP!