I recently stumbled on a chat message in my wife's Facebook. She's planning on going to dubai for 2 weeks to meet her ex who is flying in to meet her from London. I need advice on whether to confront her wit these facts or to pretend as if I know nothing and watch how things will play out. Please advice. We already have three kids. I'm confused. And she is born again. Pls advice.

Don Lala: I recently stumbled on a chat message in my wife's Facebook. She's planning on going to dubai for 2 weeks to meet her ex who is flying in to meet her from London. I need advice on whether to confront her wit these facts or to pretend as if I know nothing and watch how things will play out. Please advice. We already have three kids. I'm confused. And she is born again. Pls advice.

Except you're going to Dubai, there's no way u can sit back and watch how it plays out. There's no need for confrontation. Just ask her about it. U don't need to bring down the roof. You'll find out the truth quickly if you're calm and she won't be able to lie cos her mind would be to busy thinking about what is going on in ur head that's making u stay calm

Don Lala: I recently stumbled on a chat message in my wife's Facebook. She's planning on going to dubai for 2 weeks to meet her ex who is flying in to meet her from London. I need advice on whether to confront her wit these facts or to pretend as if I know nothing and watch how things will play out. Please advice. We already have three kids. I'm confused. And she is born again. Pls advice.

Since she is not a girlfriend but a wife, maybe you should be calm and confront her about it. Make her see the importance of faithfulness in marriage and why its not adviceable to be meeting up with exes behind your back

Calmly confront her with the evidence you have and ask her where and how you have not been meeting up.

calm communication is key in every situation

What's she going to Dubai for abi na Dubai border una dey live.
my partner cant just wake up and tell me she is going to dubai, confront her only when she tells u she has plans of going to dubai,
Does she have friends,relatives, or does business in dubai
never knew cheating has gone beyond borders

Just talk to her. SIMPLES!
I have a feeling she has a damn good explanation. Just a feeling.

.

I like that she is born again....only God knows our heart....appearances are futile.


OP wait till she tells you she is going to Dubai then sit her down and talk about this...."Ex" they are the worst...they can easily activate once debe can always debe...

Pele o....we donot know the whole story.

Don Lala: I recently stumbled on a chat message in my wife's Facebook. She's planning on going to dubai for 2 weeks to meet her ex who is flying in to meet her from London. I need advice on whether to confront her wit these facts or to pretend as if I know nothing and watch how things will play out. Please advice. We already have three kids. I'm confused. And she is born again. Pls advice.

don't say anything yet - get a ticket yourself and follow her to dubai. smart men let things play out before kicking the dust. if you scream now, she would deny it and she would still go ahead & satisfy her lusts!

Tough question, bro. I think it's a choice between nipping a potential problem in the bud and possibly destroying a marriage.

If she is going to commit adultery and you, by pre-empting her, prevent it, you might save your marriage from terrible ruin. But maybe this is not the first time. Maybe also, it's not adultery, but why hasn't she mentioned it? Perhaps she hasn't had enough time to do so? If it's adultery, perhaps you've had a problem in your marriage you failed to address that's led to a willingness to endanger it on her part.

If the above is the issue, it is probably wise that you talk with her but the problem is how you came by the info. Is she likely to take issues with you for looking at her fb messages? How open are her communications to you? And why hasn't she mentioned it? If she will take issue with you for accessing her messages, you may have to wait to see what she does before speaking to her.

Perhaps you would like to catch her out in the act, but the most likely end of that is a broken marriage. To keep your marriage together, you don't "shadow" your partner. You must allow them room to be themselves. But you are advised to keep communication open and express any concerns you develop. So unless you are willing to risk breaking your marriage or you can control the outcome of her realizing that you "shadowed" her, it is unwise that you let thhings play out and spy on her.

You don't sound like you are willing to lose your wife. So, I advise that you find ways to encourage her to open up to you without letting her know that you know anything.

Hope I've helped.

coogar:

don't say anything yet - get a ticket yourself and follow her to dubai. smart men let things play out before kicking the dust. if you scream now, she would deny it and she would still go ahead & satisfy her lusts!

I agree with Coogar . Shes an adult, let her do what she will. You say she is "born again" LMAO? Well, if the spirit hasnt stopped her, it wont stop her from going to Dubai.

Op I hope u hv ur ticket ready.

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OP: U posted this earlier this year. Well, why are u confused? She needs to reignite the fire in her. And woe betides you if you stop her from having that sizzling dubai affair.

@OP
has she told you already about her traveling plans? since you have "secret" access to her FB, i guess you have been suspecting foul play for a while then?
if it was me, i would have sat back and waited to see what phoney excuse she would give me to go to Dubai.......then i would have found some argument and let her know that she has to choose between going to Dubai and her family (aka me).
if she chooses Dubai then you know that you have lost your wife for good and can start divorce proceedings ASAP, BUT, whether she refuses to go or not is irrelevant to the fact that you have already lost your wife...... the intent is already there, and nothing can change that. from that point on, you guys can continue living together, as singles, for the sake of the children (like many people do) but at the end of the day you will have to move on with your life.