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42 ‘twelve Commandments’ Of Drinking - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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42 ‘twelve Commandments’ Of Drinking by manpo2k(m): 12:03pm On Jun 06, 2013

As the weekend draws near, here are my 42 top "Twelve Commandments" of Drinking. Hehe...leggo

If you owe someone money, always pay them back in the bar. Preferably during happy hours.

Kombine, Beer, Alomo, Redman or Otonto: whatever your brand, drink responsibly.

Buying someone a drink is 10 times better than a handshake.

Buying a strange woman a drink is cool. Buying her all the drinks is dumb.

Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

Always get the bartender’s attention with eye contact and a smile.

Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she doesn’t like you.

If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you!

If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

Always have a cockscrew in your house.

If you don’t have a cockscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you’re doing the same thing – urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

After your sixth drink, please, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

Visit the clinic quite often. Do not wait till there’s too much blood in your alcohol system.

If you can’t afford to drink in a bar, bar in a drink!

Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

The only thing that tastes better than free beer is Redman.

Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was good times everyone else would be doing it.

Try one new drink each week.

Anyone on stage or behind the bar is 50% better looking.

You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff to clean it up, then blame it on
someone else.

Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

After three drinks, you will forget a woman’s name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her ‘baby’ or

Men don’t drink from straws!

If you take a bottle, finish it. If you don’t plan to finish it, don’t accept it.

Your songs will come on as you’re leaving the bar.

Never lie in a bar! You may, however, grossly exaggerate.

For every drink, there is 5% chance that you’ll get into a fight. There’s also a 3% better chance you will lose the fight.

Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you’re ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync, you will end
up buying more drinks than him.

Before you die, single-handedly finish one bottle of Hennessey.

If there’s only one brand of drink, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

It’s acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will
understand. That’s if they even notice.

Beer makes you mellow, Champagne makes you silly, Wine makes you dramatic, Redman makes you felonious.

Anyone with 3 or more drink in his hands has the right of way.

There is nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

More gist at www.wetinhappen..com
Re: 42 ‘twelve Commandments’ Of Drinking by ZACHIE: 12:13pm On Jun 06, 2013

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