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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives (11447 Views)
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Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 9:30am On Jun 21, 2013 |
[quote author=Babz temmy] You know u don't always av to respond. You should learn to implore d silent treatment. [/quote If you were imploring the silent treatment you won't be here in the first place.start by practising what you preach |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Babztemmy: 9:42am On Jun 21, 2013 |
[quote author=byvan][/quote]@ byyyyyyvan!!!!!!, stop bin a leach and get off my case |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:02am On Jun 21, 2013 |
Madam, pls forget and move on |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:19am On Jun 21, 2013 |
Babz temmy: @ byyyyyyvan!!!!!!, stop bin a leach and get off my case You are a leech to your own life already,i ll rather leech on a juicer fellow than a woman struck with chronic anaemia |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Babztemmy: 11:55am On Jun 21, 2013 |
[quote author=byvan] You are a leech to your own life already,i ll rather leech on a juicer fellow than a woman struck with chronic anaemia [/qul Lmfao. I soo pity ur wife,u r such a sisi |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 12:23pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Babz temmy: she is a she |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Babztemmy: 3:47pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
biolabee:No wonder!!! |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Babz temmy: Aren't you the one so ridden with problems?concentrate on pitying the man that married you,hopefully you won't poison the sweet old lady for loving her son. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 4:49pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Babz temmy: Woman,put a sock in it and stop creating issues where there is none, will you!!! Don't destroy your young marriage with this childishness Enough already!! If your husband is reading,I plead with him not to respond here any further There has to be an adult in that home. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Babz temmy: After all said and done, I have heard all. Thank you all for your contributions, and advivces, I don't despise my mil, I don't, am just gonna learn to tolerate. God bless us all Bless you too Now go and retire that handle and get a new name for nairaland Case closed!! 1 Like |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 5:14pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Oh, the joy of having a good MIL. Let me just say this to the OP, SAY NO TO THE DEVIL USING YOU. You cannot directly or indirectly give a man an ultimatum to chose between you and his mother, you will be at the losing end. If you really sent that SMS to your husband re getting his mum a shop, you must be one hell of a wicked woman. Even I felt so bad on behalf that woman after I read that, the hell you make her go through. Even after a SIL gave you a good advise about your MIL, you have still sworn to number your days in that house.......yes I said it, your days are numbered if you don't buckle up and be a good DIL to that woman. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 5:23pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Advise to all the single ladies in the house: Don't start a war with a good MIL cos you won't win. There is always a bond between son and mother that you cannot just come in and break it. When that woman was busy struggling as a single mother caring for her kids, this OP wasn't there. That woman gave him life, that woman is the reason why you met him in the first place. Stop fighting a battle when there is no need for one, I love my own mother and would not tolerate hubby saying anything nasty about my mum, if my mum messes up, leave her to me, I will sort her out my own way BUT NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TREAT HER LIKE SHE IS CHILDLESS. Let her reap the fruit of her labour as I pray to reap mine in due time . 1 Like |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Pataki: 5:40pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
Hmmmmm...nkan nbe! I hope husband and wife would have no course to return on this board to air their issues forthwith. This is why men have to be careful the kind of woman they are getting involved. Lay all cards on the table and if none or both parties are not happy, you all move on. My baby speaks with her mother every night. That has been the case for years.....I cannot say because we are together now, she has to stop the telephone calls. We both sat down and discussed it and decided on the best way for us to understand her mother and certain agreements had to be made. My point is that: husband and wife......sit yourselves down, possibly carry yourselves to an hotel away from your surrounding and iron out this issue between yourselves. All the best. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 5:55pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
@Pataki good points. We need to be tolerant because one day one day , it'll be our turn too. You will even try to stop my Dad from calling early hrs in the morning because if you don't call him within 3 days , He will and so is mom he will pray so tey until I tell him 'over again' that we are still in bed , hubby is used it and never complains. Small world oh, ma she gra gra jare. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 6:00pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
There are two sides to every story No other thread has exemplified it better |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 6:09pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
jennykadry: Advise to all the single ladies in the house: You are indeed in the spirit A war with an MIL can never be won Even if the MIL is a witch,the man loves her and you cannot change that If your hubby doesn't see reason,you are wasting your time So the primary target that must be on one's side is the hubby.Once you have that on lockdown,handling his family is easy. That was why I advised this woman here to try to make her husband see reason,thinking the MIL was We use your method in my home My hubby goes through me to relay certain info to my folks I go through him to relay same to his No matter how much buddy buddy you and your MIL are,you cannot complain about certain things without it being misconstrued so the safer way is to go through their own child. I can call and ask my mom to boil me some yams as I drive home from work and she will do it as many times as I call but I would be careful asking my sister in law or MIL to do such. This marriage sumtin is a continuum of knowledge You make your mistakes,hopefully learn and adjust and know what to do and what not to do This young lady needs to learn to pick her battles |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 6:17pm On Jun 21, 2013 |
babyosisi: There are two sides to every story I beg to differ. To me, husband and wife have given pretty much the exact same version of the story. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by gajike: 6:04am On Jun 22, 2013 |
what is this world turning to for GOD sake. calling ur son everyday is now a problem. u now see ur mil as ur rival. what if she decided to move inn permanently u will cut off her head abi? if u see ur mil as ur own mother u wont hav issues for calling her son. am a womam like u, I called my mil frequently and I am even proposing to move her inn after we finished our country home. (the woman never like me and our first 10 years in marriage was hell with her but despite I understand and assume wat if she is my mum nko. now she loves me more than her son because i even cares for her more than her son. she is now on my pay roll) some girls of nowadays already prepared for war with their mil even before they tie d not and because of that they never see anything good in d woman. imagine ordinary calling is affecting u as if it was his mistress calling. na wa o. I thank GOD for d woman because she has a caring and understanding son. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 1:14pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
gajike: what is this world turning to for GOD sake. calling ur son everyday is now a problem. u now see ur mil as ur rival. what if she decided to move inn permanently u will cut off her head abi? if u see ur mil as ur own mother u wont hav issues for calling her son. am a womam like u, I called my mil frequently and I am even proposing to move her inn after we finished our country home. (the woman never like me and our first 10 years in marriage was hell with her but despite I understand and assume wat if she is my mum nko. now she loves me more than her son because i even cares for her more than her son. she is now on my pay roll) some girls of nowadays already prepared for war with their mil even before they tie d not and because of that they never see anything good in d woman. imagine ordinary calling is affecting u as if it was his mistress calling. na wa o. I thank GOD for d woman because she has a caring and understanding son. Your MIL can never never be your mother Let us stop all that crazy comparison You can have a great relationship with your MIL but you can never make the mistake of equating her with your mother For instance,you can comfortably ask your mother to help you do stuff around the house,most times you don't even need to ask,she will just do it ,you cannot expect or ask your MIL to do same You have to shape your mouth well if you must When you have a disagreement or argument with your mother for instance, or even lose your cool,,it ends there,next minute you are talking and hugging It can never be so with your MIL Let us get that point straight There was a day I told my mom after she dressed for Church Mommy I don't like that blouse on you ,please change it and another day I said,mommy,why are you always carrying this handbag? And she went and changed it Imagine me saying it the exact same way to my MIL " mama why are you always carrying that handbag" Trouble may burst in paradise |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Babztemmy: 1:38pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
jennykadry: Oh, the joy of having a good MIL.Na wa ooo. U av taken d issue more personal than my husband sef. Issue dat we av even resolved and moved on to d next one. Lmfao |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 1:47pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
Babz temmy: NL we want this thread closed. Thank you! Go here and stop perambulating NL for attention! You have a marriage to work on https://www.nairaland.com/751757/please-post-complaints-here-please |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 5:41pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
Babz temmy: Look at this one FORCING herself to LMFAO. We all know you are dying inside |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 6:27pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Winneygirl(f): 6:45pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
It's obvious Wifey has a lot to learn. A lot of times we show sympathy 2 d Op, but in this case, I think a lot of people want this thread closed/deleted. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by ayando(m): 8:12pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
From what I have read so far, wifey has a lot to learn. pls and pls stop this ranting; your marriage is too young. secondly, u can't just change that all of a sudden. Be patient OK. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by dayokanu(m): 10:30pm On Jun 22, 2013 |
Osisi, In my parents case, My mother and my grandma were like mother and daughter. My grandma never had a daughter and my mom became hers. They had a lot in common, Both love shopping and business. WHen my grandma comes around my mom takes off at work and they both go to the market to come back at 9pm, my dad would already be fuming about the time but those women would go round the market 3 times pricing everything before settling to buy any item When my grandma wants to get something from my dad, she would ask my mom first and run it by her. My dad once joked that since my mom no longer had a mother, she stole his 2 Likes |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:18am On Jun 23, 2013 |
dayokanu: Osisi, I understand you Any woman with an MIL will understand me well |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 7:07am On Jun 23, 2013 |
Na wa oh. How does talking to ones parent become a crime? I talk to my dad almost everynight. I understand you could feel a little insecure and nollywood and their depiction of mother in laws certainly doesn't help. I understand she is not a domineering woman so really wife you should understand that marriage is not a clingy just me and you situation, married people have other interests and not just me and you must do everything together. Some kids are close to their parents some are not. As the years goes by it makes us realise that they may not always be with us and it draws us closer to them. I share almost every detail of my life with my dad, inform him of key decisions, he listens just listens, sometimes chips in but let's me make the decisions myself, now am realising he won't always be around, he won't alwyas be a phone call away. Recently I couldn't speak to him for days and I had one major issue, I felt overwhelmed, my husband understood and even though I inform my husband of everything and talk to him before sharing with my dad, he still knows its not a competition and that they both mean different things to me and its not a case of either or. Some things I don't even share with my dad as I do with my husband but there is just a soothing feeling and words of wisdom from someone who has been in these stages. Our parents are our parents, if you have a good relationship with them you don't just cut them off because you have a spouse, a good spouse will understand that there is space of enough for both of you and the roles don't conflict. A good parent will also ensure that they don't cross their boundaries. I am happy wifey has learned from this, always remember that if you suceed in tearing him away from her and something happens to her he may never forgive you. Let us not let jealousy put us in trouble. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 7:48am On Jun 23, 2013 |
babyosisi: Truly, your MIL can never be your mother no matter how close.i can easily tell my mum I don't like the food she prepared,how will one tell that to MIL? 1 Like |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by damiso(f): 9:21am On Jun 23, 2013 |
byvan: She can eventually be as close to you as your mother but it takes time and the attitude of both parties.I keep saying it its easier to forgive your child whom you nutured and have known all their life than one girl or boy who you might never have met if your child did not marry them. Its wiser for the child of the parent concerned to deal with boundary issues. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:13am On Jun 23, 2013 |
damiso: Yes,boundary is absolutely very important,funny boundary in marriage is strange to some when you try to explain it. |
Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:14pm On Jun 23, 2013 |
I ve bn reading all d posts with keen interest.very good and matured contributions. Well,I don't hv MIL but FIL that behaves like MIL and he is verrrry stubborn but I lv him die! Does he disturb a lot,yes.u don't tell him when to call,and heaven help u if he calls and u don't pick.and u MUST call him everyday 2!its an order and I obey,simple. He can spend hrs on phone with u and u will be prayin for bad network.it wasn't easy at first for me cos I don't hv a dad but pple r so envious of us naw.he put me on salary when I gave birth cos I stopd work then due to relocation and childbirth.how did I do dat,told him that I want to resume work immediately after birth(na lie).and I can't call him again cos I don't hv money.(Another lie) Mrs,u can turn any situation to ur adv if and only if u want to! I can buy him anything I want to,spoiled him when he visited and ready to forfeit somethings for him! Without that man,no hubby,as I'm very happy with d son,why can't I extend it to my FIL? Even if he is bad. Pple r prayin for a good mil and some pple don't just like it,they call it meddling! Nawaa o! How I wish mine is alive,she can meddle for all I care! U pple can now close d thread,at least I don say my mind! |
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