Imagine you were a six year old girl at home on a sunday morning when every one is preparing to go to church. you have an slowpoke brother and a maid, then your father(who has left for church) and mother. describe the home, the situation of things, the activities, the neighbours(very poor background)and anything else you can think of, except their conversations.

N/B;EVERYTHING APART FROM THEIR CONVERSATIONS

How long does it have to be?

Okay, I don't profess to be a good writer. . .so don't expect much.

This is what I have. . .

I hate Sundays

I hate wearing itchy dresses and a hat that makes my head hurt. I wish we could skip Sundays altogether and go straight to Monday. . .no, wait, maybe not Monday. Monday means school. I wish everyday was Saturday, that’s when I have the most fun except when Dayo is around. I don’t like Dayo; he’s always taking my things and hiding them. Sometimes I wish I was older so I can lock him up in the closet forever and ever. I know Mama will miss him but she’ll soon forget all about him because I will be the best child ever. . . not like him who breaks things and always makes a mess. I never break anything; Daddy says I’m a perfect angel.

I watch mama brush her hair; she is still in her slip which means it’s gonna be a long time before we go to church. Mama takes forever to dress up but I like it when she wears her makeup, sometimes she puts some lipstick on my lips but tells me to wipe it off before daddy sees it. I don’t wipe it off though, instead I lick it. . .it tastes like oranges.

I’m hungry.

Dayo comes into the room, he knocks down my hat. I knew he would do something to me but I’m not fast enough to get out of his way. Mama gives him the bad eye but he only smiles and runs out of the room. I hope he falls down break his legs so he stays at home all alone. When I get to church, I’ll pray to God to make me bigger than him then I can kick his bu. . .

Daddy’s Car starts.

I jump off the bed and run to the bedroom window in time to see daddy drive off. He has to be in church early because he is a worker. He doesn’t get paid though but we have money and nice clothes and shoes. Daddy bought a new TV, I like it better than the old one because it shows the real colors. We gave the old TV to the Johnsons our next door neighbors. They had no TV, Dayo says it’s because they have no money. I don’t understand why, I’m only six and I've got loads of money in my piggy bank and I don’t even have a job. Last night I heard Mama and Daddy talking about Mr. Johnson losing his job at the factory because he always got to work late. Mrs. Johnson does not work like Mama does; she stays at home all day taking care of the babies. . .two of them. I like the babies they are cute, like real dolls. Sometimes Mrs. Johnson lets me help feed them, she says they like me, I believe her because they always smile at me. They never smile at Dayo, I guess they know he is mean.

I wonder what will happen to the babies now that Mr. Johnson has no money. Will they die because they won't have any food. I'm scared. . .I don't want them to die, who will I play with? I want to ask Mama but I can’t, she’ll know I was listening in. I’m not supposed to, it’s bad habit. I’ll ask Alice, she tells me everything. I bet Alice won’t mind if I took some food to the Johnsons’. She buys the food and everything in the house but not with her money. Mama gives her some money and lists of what to buy. She says Alice is the best thing that happened to us, I suppose it’s because she cooks and cleans the house. She also walks me to school and back. I pray Alice stays with us forever. I like it when she pops Dayo one every time he messes with me. I always laugh when he starts crying, one time I laughed so hard, I puked on his shoes and that made me laugh some more.

Mama picks up my hat and hands it to me. It’s time to go

I wish I could stay at home with Alice, help Mrs. Johnson with the babies. Most of all, I wish I didn’t have to sit in the car with Dayo.

My body itches

I hate Sundays.

Wow! sisikill, this is wow!!!. have you published anything yet. please i want you to read the story in my blog www.wachuuk..com and tell me what you think is wrong with it. thanks

Published? Errr. . . no.

What can I say. . .I'm too chicken to send my work out. Tee hee hee

I've had a few poem published in an anthology and signed a release for one of my eassy to be published in a book my English prof wrote. . .that's the closest I've come to publishing.

sisikill, thaks for your help on my story. about what you said about remembering that others dont know my characters, i first of all bring in my characters, then later i introduce them, do you think that is bad? you ve gone closer to publishing than most of us here, the closest ive got to publishing, is my blog, LOL. seriously now, how about starting a blog, or do you blog?

@siskill

U have a talent i must confess, dont let it wash away and stop being a chicken Is there a way i can get in touch with you by email or phone? There is a project i am working on maybe we would do something about it.Thanks and stay bless.

Sisikill

Wow!!!!!!! I was hooked through out the story. You are indeed talented!!! Make sure you do something with your talents otherwise I won't buy you chocolates

@sisikill
u are really a killer (writer)
u have a unique imaginative ability that can best be tapped in the movie industry. i mean since u are scared to hell about publishing maybe u could write cool storylines and scripts.
did u study english cos from wat i read u seem to know the basics of writing.

this is my first time in this section of the LAND and beleive me, because of your post, i am staying put.

i know a talent when i see one and yours is no different from the intuition i feel when i spot one.

takia.

@wildbubble

i am impressed with ur quest for self-realization. having to quit two courses just to get wat ur heart desires is worth commending. ur blog site is quite cool. i really enjoyed the stories. at least people like chinua achebe and laureate soyinka can smile to their graves knowing that their literary exploits will be built upon.

if u dont mind, i have a passion for proof-reading and editing so am available 247 at ur service.

takia of u.

Mogambe, that was quite flattering. please, how do i get to you, mail address, phone no,? Anything useful.

Sisikill, i left a comment in my blog for you, under the post "help, im an addict".im sorry im bothering you so much and thanks so much for your help. Hope you didn't mind my publishing your auto biography

@wildbubble
call that flattering then u haven't heard the best of me. i really meant all i said. it will be an honour to be remembered as one of the editors and proof readers for another laureate from naija.
pls my office is open at jonathanaku@yahoo.co.uk 247 (as usual). i also have a talent for polishing written works.

takia of u.

Goodness. . .if I were white, my face will be as red as hot chili peppers right now. Thanks for all your compliments. . .you have no idea how much they mean to me. ^{Yes, I'm that needy. . .Lol}


@swing4Real
Sure, why not. . .I'm always open to new writing adventures. How do I get in touch with you?


@Stillwater
No Chocolate? But I love chocolate . . .oh alright, I guess I can work on building up my courage. Hey, I know. . .how about building it using chocolate, much like people liquor up for Dutch courage but mine would be Milk and sugar courage.


@ mogambe
LOL. . .is it sick to take pleasure in being called a killer? It is. . .right? Aah, what do I care? You are very perceptive because I do write scripts, I’ve had a few scripts turned into shorties.

Wildbubble
It's no bother at all. I'm happy to help any which way I can. I'll drop by your blog.

Sisikill, i think in stronger terms, i would say, you are trying to say that, like in the typical Nigerian novel, i am going into so many meaningless details, with boring narrative techniques. I wouldn't mind such terms too, and thanks for your tremendous help. i would take the story down, work and it and post it again, i would tell you when its done. beebye

MY PAL AT www.beibee.
CAN EDIT FOR FREE. PLEASE APPROACH HIM.

CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT YOUR BLOG?

Anne of course you could view my blog, and dont forget to leave your comment. i would check out your pal. thanks for the help

@Sisikill

So sorry for the delay reply,been so busy and out of town. send me ur email i will write u,

brilliant effort by sisikill, just curious, what's ur gender?
_{and yes, i have been checking u out. stalking you would be inappropriate but i suspect ure female.} i like ur style of writing
please get urself published!

@jesusfreak
Thank you and I'm female. . . much to the disappointment of my older brother who wanted a younger bro.

Nice one sisikill, very imaginative. Permit me to make an attempt too. And I borrow Dayo's name

Its Sunday, and I’m pacing up and down wondering if mum will take me to church, or if I would go with dad. I really would love to go with dad. That way, I can sneak off and go play with friends. But not with mum, she is always afraid something will happen anytime she is outside the home with me. Her eyes are everywhere, following me like a shadow.

I had on my best cloth. Today is children’s harvest/bazaar and it certainly going be carnival-like in the church. At least last year was. The bouncing castle, fishing the bottle, lucky throws, and yes, the lucky dips too where I won Bibi, my teddy bear ; they were all fun. I really would give anything to be in church today with dad.

I wondered if Dayo, my elder brother, will be going to church with us today. Her class teacher had called earlier to complain to Dad that he wasn’t paying attention in class, I know that was putting it mildly, because my brother is a one day one trouble fellow. Just yesterday, Mama Iyabo, our next door neighbor came to report him to dad. Dayo had had scuffle with Mama Iyabo’s first son, Akin, leaving the fair skinned boy with a black eye and reddened cheek.

Mama Iyabo, who sells Amala and Ewedu soup, draped in a somewhat dirty wrapper, and blouse, with a baby on her back was so angry that she forgot she was holding her short ewedu mashing broom when she came to report the issue. Daddy was trying had to concentrate on what she was saying while also trying to evade the tiny green slimy ewedu fluids clinging on tenderly to the broom. I couldn’t help giggling causing mum to send me back to the room with a hard look and gentle shove. But now Dayo is no where in sight. Maybe he has gone to the fields to play football, or look for trouble, or both.

Just then I heard daddy say good bye to mum, I ran out to announce my presence. But he was gone. I knew then I was stuck with mum today, and that means less fun. I went back to room sourly.

OJUKWU SISIKILL u guyz are steaming hot,sisi i bet o still hv contact wit ur childhood

@sisikill and Ojukwu
that was hot!!
You guys are making me hate Dayo already, lol

Thank Winch, and Morenike,

@ Morenike, at least a troublesome Dayo is better than being an slowpoke one.

@ Ojukwu
that was one. But I think there was a little conflict in the tense u started with and the one u ended up with - "I am pacing up and down, "
"I went back to the room sourly." I don't really understand the glide, or distraction.
Good creation though.

@ Sisikill
I saw it coming so I have no new praise chants to add to the chorus. I simply saw Sisikill and sat up for a good read and a good read was served; need I, then say I devoured? Keep it coming, you mind mass.

Sorry about the confusion. I'm not a pro.
Maybe I should have said "I am pacing up and down in my room. "

and then concluded,


I went back to the my room sourly.

Sounds better?

We were going to be late and Michael was doing it again.

He was spilling his food onto the carpet just swept by Stella. The caramel coloured persian rug now had dark smears all over it. She must have swept that floor at least three times already. She knew she would get a whipping from mum if she didn't. And she also dare not yell at the boy because that was guaranteed to get her even worse punishment. So she just stood and watched, broom in hand, ready to sweep anything Michael threw on it. Thankfully he was almost finished with the food.

Watching the scenario from my seat on the other side of the table, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the maid. She was a thin looking girl who tried hard to please mum without much success because everything she did only seemed to aggravate my mother. She never complained though but sometimes I would find her crying in the over the kitchen sink. I was always extra nice to her because I didn't like to see her cry.

Sometimes even I was baffled at my mother's behaviour towards the girl. Ordinarily my mum was a very good person where my brother and I were concerned but when it came to Stella or even our neighbours, Mr and Mrs Solomon, she was not very nice. Maybe it was because the Solomon family were many because they had seven children and Mrs Solomon was always coming to our house to "borrow" some sugar or some detergent or matches every now and then. I once overheard her say to Dad that they were leeches. I don't know what leeches means but Daddy had told her not to say such a horrible thing, so leeches must be a bad word. Daddy had said christians shouldn't think like that but mummy became angry and asked if daddy was saying she was a bad christian.

I don't think my mummy is a bad christian because she takes good care of us but maybe God will think she is a bad christian if she doesn't hurry up with her dressing and we end up getting late to church again. Daddy had already left even before I had finished breakfast so he was definitely a good christian. I didn't want mummy to make me a bad christian so I got up to go into her room to tell her I was ready. I was about to pull the curtain to her room aside when she stepped out.

@nikinash
This is beautiful! I'm impressed. Are you published yet?

Thanks. But no not published yet. Maybe if i could write like sisikill then i would think about it.

@ Ojukwu

I like your writing anyway. when i read, i noticed the creativity which i think can always be developed. i ahve noticed that no one wants to imagine an slowpoke brother, everyone prefers troublesome. i still love that you can think of the laddle, and stuff. keep it up and thanks for the story.

@ Nikinash.
The story was good, it was really good. It's like many people in this section are waiting for the second coming of jesus christ, before they get published. thanks for the story.

@nikinash
my my my
u guyz r, wat do i say, im speechless
u guyz r making me wana write

Good work Nikinash,

And thanks wildbubble for the kind words.