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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer (1117 Views)
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What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer by feelgood(m): 4:31pm On May 25, 2006 |
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah, Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen, Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! --- Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one. --- Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet, it's still on my desk, sorry. --- Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? --- Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello. I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me and, Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, darn it! --- Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it, --- Customer: I have problems printing in red. Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah, thank you. --- Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. --- Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK. Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah, that one does work. --- Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? --- Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. --- Tech support: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry, Internet Explorer. --- Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. --- Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter "a" in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? --- A female customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under Windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." --- And last, but not least, Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P", on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!! |
Re: What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer by diddy4(m): 10:05pm On May 25, 2006 |
cracked me up bad. nice jokes. dumb people. its one thing to buy a computer and another thing to know what a computer is. |
Re: What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer by micklplus(m): 8:48am On May 26, 2006 |
OMG ! Very funny ! Nice stuff but, its been here before Cheers |
Re: What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer by kajad(m): 9:16am On May 26, 2006 |
The last one cracked me up bad, how do you expect him to 'pee' on his keyboard? funny |
Re: What 'newbies' Say About Their Computer by dabby(f): 3:01pm On May 26, 2006 |
this is a really funny joke. it cracked me up real bad, |
(1) (Reply)
Kids Can Be So Mean / Reformed Super Eagles / Satire Of Nigerian Police: Hehe Very Funny!
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