****You update your status say:::Wow i'm so enjoying my stay here in America......45mins later you update your status say:::up nepa, kai our nepa don dey try oh, atleast dem remember us today...abeg who you dey jonzzz

**You go carry bag of cement for backyard.....you rush update your facebook status:::just got back from the Gym........God dey zoom you oh!

**Your boyfriend just take okada from your house go him own house and you sharperly dey update your pm::;DRIVE SAFELY BOO. Maka Chukwu, na Amadioha go personally handle your case!

**Babe, you are 6ft tall, you still come wear 6inches high heel shoe...shey you wan whisper to God ni??

**Aunty, you carry braids for over 9months, shey na pregnancy ni??

**Something lost, dem zoom am for your handbag/pocket and you dey claim say you no know how it got into your handbag/pocket......bia make i ask you sef, shey your handbag/pocket na magnet??

**Babe you dey cast for everybody say you dump your guy sake of say, your guy cute ebony 9inch joystick is still not enough to satisfy you....is what you have between your thighs a vagina or a grave yard??

**You dey snap inside different types of cars yet you expect your man to believe you are not cheatin.....ok you be car dealer while your man be learner atink??

**you've been wearing an engagement ring for the past 7years with no plans of marriage in sight, babe are you related to Frodo::lord of the rings? Even if Frodo is your father, does it mean your hand should become a key holder? My dear you are not engaged to be married, you've been initiated into witchcraft!

**Your mum caught you in the kitchen all alone, with soup stains all over your mouth yet, you're still denying dat you didn't near her pot,..abeg shey your lips na kitchen rag??

**You carry your hand go steal person tin, dem catch you say na the work of the devil.....shey you be satan employee?...

**You drive a Range rover sport, but your mum works for Lawma sweeping 3rd mainland Bridge, and you claim she's a government worker.... how do you sleep at Night or did you swap your conscience for a plate of food

**You take picture, e no fine, you come dey claim say "beauty is from within" .... Why you no take X-ray nah?

**You smoke garri and groundnut finish for inside your room, come baffup go inside KCF, snap pix upload am with the caption "life is good" no worry na your two eyes we go from see say life good well well by the time you blind from too much garri.

**After taking her for an expensive dinner and giving her money for a cab, you both met again inside keke napep. Who is deceiving who?

......Able sexlifers, keep it rolling in....

Ur babe gt an apartment for maitamma abj and u claim say na only u be I'm man? Even devil is a learner here.