Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,492 members, 7,819,803 topics. Date: Monday, 06 May 2024 at 11:51 PM

Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church - Religion (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church (9435 Views)

Worship At Christ Embassy Online Church Today / God's Grace Online Church / Nairaland afternoon online church of Jesus (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Blessmira: 1:58pm On Aug 18, 2013
[quote
author=Richy.]Oya it is time for sunday school,sisters
open your holy book to Psalm 200. after studying this verse, your male
boss in your place of work will drive away his wife tomorrow and marry
you. if you believe it shout Amen
cool [/quote]

Bro, pls dont 4get 2 join them 4 deliverance session. Peace b wt u! cheesy
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Tobetoe(m): 2:01pm On Aug 18, 2013
We ar abt to enter into d third service.. And ma ppl, i will be d officiatin pastor in dis service..*grabs holy cane* open ur eyes and close ur mouth let's pray ,u ar allowed to see d unseeable but neva to speak.. Pls,hug atleast 50 ladies and tell her u love her,then collect her phone number(make sure u give her a call after d service) and nw,offering time.dip ,dip ur hands into ur pockets ma brethen and bring out dat recharge u have prepared 4 me and send it to ma e-mail and ur pocket will neva run dry.. Meanwhile sister Nkechi pls tell all d LIH(LADIES IN D HOUSE) TO COme to ma office ,i have some packages for them.. HALLALUYAH

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by xynerise: 2:09pm On Aug 18, 2013
This will end up promoting blasphemy

5 Likes

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by charleff512(m): 2:10pm On Aug 18, 2013
Entering his gate with thanksgiving
*met empty church*
*kneels down to pray,Drops offering and exits*
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Elijah348(m): 2:12pm On Aug 18, 2013
lols...
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Blessmira: 2:12pm On Aug 18, 2013
* Picks Microfone, then clears throat*
Can we al b on our feet
Offering time... Blessing Time!
* Starts a song*
Children of God,
wonderfl children,
Blessed Nairalander,
Will u shout Halleluya, shout Halleluya 2 d Lord 500 times......cheesycheesy

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Drseno1(m): 2:30pm On Aug 18, 2013
drstan: I see a sister here, you just lost your job, but let me tell you, before the end of this week you shall have double job waiting for you.
grin
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by bigtt76(f): 2:31pm On Aug 18, 2013
You mean typing in tongues? broda! grin

Monimatic: lets speak in tongues for 10 minutes
zobragagagag lakaquwerr broashsjeecj feeheenekrkf.....still speaking in tongues,
sister biola. please lead the prayer and worship
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Pchizy: 2:33pm On Aug 18, 2013
what's going on here? Joking wt God? Don't u remember wat hapened to Herod, Ananias nd Sa, Hophinine nd Phin..?? Som may call me novice. Eeee, using Gods issue in a strange land? Nd u tink threading wt God's vessels wouldnt cause the Kingdom to b divided? Why did u join to use God matter 4 play? Cant u look b/4 u reap? God is nt a man u no?. Hav u ever seen a dead or serious ill-one? Then, u'll know that life u tink is urs, whch u're bragging about, is a pride dat can go b/4 a fall. Beware! Is nt late, retrace back to God, He loves U

4 Likes

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by riskit33: 2:39pm On Aug 18, 2013
tochimas: PRAYER FOR TODAY

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL FOR THIS GENERATION
Amen!!!
Service's been sweet but for a bunch of miscreants.
Thanks Preacher Tochimas and OP

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by dnawah(m): 2:41pm On Aug 18, 2013
smothly: Bend ur necks and let's pray cheesy
pls sis which directon do we bend our necks?
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Nobody: 2:46pm On Aug 18, 2013
This aint funny @all. Threads like this makes me wanna PORT religion, I'm sure d opposite religion won't make jokes out of what they believe in. We need to learn to respect and protect the image of christianity. Up till now, I still don't know who the real christians are with different doctrines everywhere. This thread should be closed. Op needs serious counselling
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Orikinla(m): 2:56pm On Aug 18, 2013
Gboliwe:

I want to laugh but this is serious business. Who did you say is general overseer?

Can you see the handsome G.O?
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Mintayo(m): 3:00pm On Aug 18, 2013
Orikinla: Hallelujah!
I thank God for Pastor Seun Osewa, the General Overseer.

With God all things are possible!
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Orikinla(m): 3:03pm On Aug 18, 2013
PAGAN 9JA:
Multidenomination you say?

Good so how many animals should I sacrifice?

[img]http://2.bp..com/_NFO9h4-L1J8/SeYgCGaNLwI/AAAAAAAAAU8/7-MilBc4Hds/s320/Fetish+priest+talking+to+the+fetishes.JPG[/img]

[size=28pt]All other gods, they are the works of men.
All other gods, they are the idols of men.
All other gods, they are the figments of imagination of men.
All other gods, they are the fears of men.
All other gods, they are the ignorance of men.
All other gods, they useless sticks and stones of men.
All other gods, they are the fetish rituals of men.
But they can never be compared to the one and only real and true God who alone gives us the breath of life and He is our maker and owner forever.
I will never worship any man made god.[/size]

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by SlyIg(f): 3:09pm On Aug 18, 2013
Would this thread make frontpage if it was about another religion practised here in Nigeria?

Christians, be warned!
Our God is not mocked.
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by dokunbam(m): 3:10pm On Aug 18, 2013
Oh God
see what churches are turning into these days undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided
am out
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by ATMCARD2(m): 3:16pm On Aug 18, 2013
Am lukin 4 a Sista 2 gv holy kiss b4 i strt gng home.
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by tlops(m): 3:24pm On Aug 18, 2013
Drop your credit card number or text "NLService" followed by your username, type of offering(Tithe,partnership, special offering, seed etc) and amount to 666 from all network. Thanks.

Example
NLService yuzedo tithe 10000. send to 666
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by tlops(m): 3:27pm On Aug 18, 2013
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Halleluiah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our tablet PC, iPad, cellphone, kindle bibles to 1 Cor.13:13. ...! And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.. .. !

PASTOR: Let us pray committing this week into God's hands. Open your WhatsApp, BBM , Twitter and Facebook and chat
with your God.Come on...

PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take tithes and offerings. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887. [Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers.
Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear
of the church and those who prefer to use iPads allowed to flip them open. Those who prefer telephone banking
are allowed to take out their cellphones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account!]
The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the cellphones , iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

[Announcement]
SECRETARY:
This week's cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place and mix-it for Sunday school pupil. Please. don't miss out.
Thursday's bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don 't miss out.You can follow Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counselling and prayers, dont forget our weekly sermon uploads on YouTube



Sent from Yahoo! Mail for iPad

5 Likes

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Lordwize(m): 3:28pm On Aug 18, 2013
How I wish we could take this Church seriously?
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Nobody: 3:33pm On Aug 18, 2013
.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by kadree(m): 3:50pm On Aug 18, 2013
Dear brethen,to d arsenal fans ,nw sing wit me
"Da bone shall rise again...
Da bone shall rise again..
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by cold(m): 3:52pm On Aug 18, 2013
jafsumar07: In what eva we do, we shld put @ d back nd front of our mind dat we re here (earth) for a purpose to worship God. Taking religion as center point for jokes is indeed carlous, henious nd height of wickedness to evn oneself.

Wen its tym for jokes nd teasing, do it with wisdom but do it nt wit any religion cos ds may amount to demeanning nd making gest of d sole purpose of our creation. Nw get a v quite place, sit alone nd ask ur inner self, 'wat is d purpose of my creation?' He dat got brain should think.

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Timijo(m): 4:00pm On Aug 18, 2013
Dr.seno1:
service starts by 10:30
sunday school 10:30-10:45
praise and worship 10:45-11:20
Testimony 11:20-11:45
Bible reading 11:45-12:00
Prayer 12:00-12:30
Sermon 12:30-1:00
Offering 1:00-1:10
Suggestions 1:10-1:15
Close of service 1:15-1:20

Don't be late for service
It is only we the christian that ridicule and make mockery of our religion and we want other people to accept Jesus Christ like this. May God have mercy on us.
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by PAGAN9JA(m): 4:15pm On Aug 18, 2013
Orikinla:

[size=28pt]All other gods, they are the works of men.
All other gods, they are the idols of men.
All other gods, they are the figments of imagination of men.
All other gods, they are the fears of men.
All other gods, they are the ignorance of men.
All other gods, they useless sticks and stones of men.
All other gods, they are the fetish rituals of men.
But they can never be compared to the one and only real and true God who alone gives us the breath of life and He is our maker and owner forever.
I will never worship any man made god.[/size]

[size=28pt]All GODS are Spiritual Forces, so they are neither created nor destroyed.
The Idols are works of ingenious men, done to symbolyze and use in the worship of the unseeable GODS.
All GODS are day-day experiences of men.
All GODS are the awareness of men of a parallel Universe and existence to their material worlds.
All GODS are Spiritual Forces. If a stick or stone reminds you of GOD, so be it worthyof "use" in worship and human expression.
All GODS require rituals to appease them. It is the human way of using materialism to gain SPirituality.
The Creator God, Creator Force, is just one among a myriad of Godly Forces. However the Creator is certainly the origin of all GODS and men.


Jesus is a man-god.
All christian saints are men and women.
I am a proud tribesman.
Therefore I will never worship a MAN GOD, ESPECIALLY a JEW.[/size]

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Tascocent(m): 4:30pm On Aug 18, 2013
PAGAN 9JA:


[size=28pt]All GODS are Spiritual Forces, so they are neither created nor destroyed.
The Idols are works of ingenious men, done to symbolyze and use in the worship of the unseeable GODS.
All GODS are day-day experiences of men.
All GODS are the awareness of men of a parallel Universe and existence to their material worlds.
All GODS are Spiritual Forces. If a stick or stone reminds you of GOD, so be it worthyof "use" in worship and human expression.
All GODS require rituals to appease them. It is the human way of using materialism to gain SPirituality.
The Creator God, Creator Force, is just one among a myriad of Godly Forces. However the Creator is certainly the origin of all GODS and men.


Jesus is a man-god.
All christian saints are men and women.
I am a proud tribesman.
Therefore I will never worship a MAN GOD, ESPECIALLY a JEW.[/size]
. Phele ti e o. Oti sonu o

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by oluamid(m): 4:46pm On Aug 18, 2013
Orikinla: Hallelujah!
I thank God for Pastor Seun Osewa, the General Overseer.

Daddy G.O.
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by Drseno1(m): 5:14pm On Aug 18, 2013
Church closed, #angry
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by ejiboy1(m): 5:41pm On Aug 18, 2013
PAGAN 9JA:


[size=28pt]All GODS are Spiritual Forces, so they are neither created nor destroyed.
The Idols are works of ingenious men, done to symbolyze and use in the worship of the unseeable GODS.
All GODS are day-day experiences of men.
All GODS are the awareness of men of a parallel Universe and existence to their material worlds.
All GODS are Spiritual Forces. If a stick or stone reminds you of GOD, so be it worthyof "use" in worship and human expression.
All GODS require rituals to appease them. It is the human way of using materialism to gain SPirituality.
The Creator God, Creator Force, is just one among a myriad of Godly Forces. However the Creator is certainly the origin of all GODS and men.


Jesus is a man-god.
All christian saints are men and women.
I am a proud tribesman.
Therefore I will never worship a MAN GOD, ESPECIALLY a JEW.[/size]
You are DOOMED
Re: Nairaland Multidenominational Online Church by sweetBummsy(f): 6:25pm On Aug 18, 2013
Pls wen is NIght Vigil??

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply)

Why Do You Embrace Abrahamic Faith Over African Spirituality? / Can God Create A Mountain That God Can't Move? / The True Founder And History Of The Catholic Church.

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 41
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.