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Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics - Literature - Nairaland

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Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Cuddlemii: 6:50pm On Aug 18, 2013
Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics

Date: August 14 - 18, 2013

Time: Open

This particular thread is strictly for the submission of poems & designs
The top 10 poets would be selected to move on to the next round

*Warning* Long Post/Essay:--> OVERVIEW & INSTRUCTIONS

*For Round 1 of the competition:-->CLICK HERE

*All other discussions should be done here:-->NAIRALAND'S THE POET COMMENT THREAD

"TO SEE THE GRADES FOR ROUND TWO IN REAL TIME": CLICK HERE


© CUDDLEMII 2013

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Cuddlemii: 6:51pm On Aug 18, 2013
ROUND 2 INSTRUCTIONS FOR SUBMISSION.

Step 1– Select a topic from the list for Round 2, and write about it(you had weeks to do this)
*For the list:-->CLICK HERE

Step 2- On this thread, click the “Reply” Button

Step 3- Create two posts, and put the word "reserved"
**The word reserved must be the content of the two posts**

Step 4- Click the “Submit” button

Step 5- Look at the post above yours, and take note of the number.
If the person above you is Number 0, it means you are Number 1.
If the person above you is number 1, it means you are Number 2.

Step 5ii- Write[b]"Reserved for Number 1"[/b]
**which means you've book your slot for this round**

Step 5iii - Put the title of the poem you chose from the list of Round 2

Step 5iv- Work with the designer assigned to you

**Warning**Do not submit any poem until you have concluded with your designer.
Leave your post as Reserved for Number 1,2,3........
Title of the poem



Submission of Poem + Design:

Step 6- Your first post should look like this-->

Number 1

Title of your poem
………………………….
…………………………..
…………………………...
………………………….....
……………………………..

Upload the coverpage as a jpg or png file.

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Cuddlemii: 6:51pm On Aug 18, 2013
Step 6-

Your 2nd post should look like this -->

Designer: [your designer’s name should come in here]

Why did you choose your topic?

What unique experience did you derive from working with a designer?

What were the constraints involved in working in a team?

Tell us everything we need to know about your poem.
Sell, and present your poem to us like we are clueless about Literature.
Picture us as your audience, and captivate us.

Finally, why did the designer use the designs, pictures, visuals, and every other component of the design?
***You would have to consult with your designer for this part, it must correlate***

The meaning of some of the terms, terminologies, figure of speech and designs, or what they signify.
***This is the best time to address big grammars used in the poem***

In conclusion, what is the message behind your poem?
Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Cuddlemii: 6:52pm On Aug 18, 2013
Qualifying Contestants

1st----------jackbauerballs
2nd----------Princesca
3rd----------pasionate
4th----------classicdea
5th----------darlynlara
6th----------chistar01
7th----------timpaker
7th----------shugamania
8th----------1mic_cza
8th----------newacca
8th----------piresg24
9th----------since_1914
10th---------jadelord
11th---------oahray
12th---------kennikazi
12th---------d-hammer
12th---------lemmings
13th---------badmusace
14th---------uniqueval
15th---------henryvirus
15th---------Irshittabey
16th---------ayd91
17th---------scorpdmo
17th---------Don Oms
18th---------Russigin
18th---------InsaneTamie
19th---------Pdizzle
20th---------jomark
20th---------Fynline
21st--------She-blayze

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by lemmings(m): 7:57pm On Aug 18, 2013
reserved for number 1

Death becomes her
Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by lemmings(m): 7:58pm On Aug 18, 2013
reserved for number 1

Death becomes her
Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by ayd91(m): 8:01pm On Aug 18, 2013
Reserved for Number 2

Forbidden Vitality

(i)
Adams' rib aside,
The celestial city stands aloof.
A coy smile,
Shrinking steadily with each passing round.
A taste damnable, awoken.
A drunken soul striped of its ignorance.
Behold the birth of mankind.

(ii)
Eden's keeper has fallen,
Moses's stone broken,
The great Samson weakened.

The earth cursed,
and filled with many pleasures.
Reaching out to all daring to cross Its threshold.

Open doors etched with gold,
welcoming those that stray,
from paths that sway.

Ancestral drums of shame,
To all that dare to quench this ancestral taste,
known to all but those dead.

For satisfaction,
Immerse your soul in this ocean that devoureth man,
and loose the restrictions placed by life itself.

Taste and see,
prove Adam right,
forsake salvation and indulge in earth's pleasures.

Life is short,
why waste it on strife?
Take a sip and end this strife.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by ayd91(m): 8:06pm On Aug 18, 2013
Reserved for Number 2

Forbidden Vitality.
Designer's Name: Centje

Why I choose this topic:
I'll say, the topic reached out to me. It fascinated me and presented an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone, and try something new.
Also the topic touched on an area of common interest (temptation) to Mankind.

Unique Experience Derived from Working With A Designer:
Working with a designer, was my first time working with another person for poetry purposes. Thus, the experience itself was strange to me. I didn't just have to think for myself but also consider the opinion of another in decision making.
The experience gave me an opportunity to explore the visual side of poetry, which before now I gave little importance. All in all, it was pretty interesting.

Constraints Noticed in Working in a Team:
Working with a designer, whose physical presence I couldn't count on, posed quite a challenge to me, mostly as a result of the strain placed on communication. The shortage of time also reduced our ability to discuss effectively.
Seeing eye to eye wasn't an issue, his (Centje) ability to provide competent graphical interpretation was flawless.

My poem is titled 'Forbidden Vitality'. It
Its written in two chapters consisting of several stanzas.
The first chapter, is more of a peek into the past (flashback). Sought of recreating man's romance with the forbidden fruit, him losing his innocence and unleashing a thirst for the forbidden fruit (evil). This process, in conclusion, was what sealed the creation of man.

Adams' rib, refers to Eve,
the celestial city, refers to heaven.

Chapter Two.
Under this chapter we have seven stanzas.
Stanza one: highlights examples of other 'great men' who have fallen or lost something on earth.

Stanza two: paints the earth as cursed with many 'pleasures'. Pleasures here, don't quite conform to the conventional meaning, rather it refers to damnable pleasures such as alcoholism, adultery and the whole lot. Such available to those willing to cross its threshold (into the 'dark side').

Stanza three: features the rewards of following the good side, promising grand entrance to all that leave ('stray' from) evil for good ('the path that 'sway').

Stanza four: Here, we are reminded of the result of our vain desires, which is 'ancestral drums of shame' this implies that we shall dance to shameful beats just as our ancestors did when they fell to those same desires.

Stanza five: here we are advised quite rashly to 'immerse' (surrender and enjoy) ourselves in the 'ocean that destroys man' (forbidden pleasures). Thus we are encouraged to be free.

Stanza six: The trend remains the same, only now, those reluctant are persuaded to 'taste and see', 'prove Adam right' sensing wisdom in Adams decision. Those seeking salvation are implored to forsake salvation and enjoy life.

Stanza seven: Here, those still resisting are reminded, 'life is short', and are told such shouldn't be wasted on senseless arguments. Thus we should succumb ('take a sip') and 'end it all'.

About the design.

The Apple with Nails.
My designer (Centje), wanted to stray from the usual representation of forbidden fruit and so he did. In his words "I thought of anything against God, so the apple with nails was a perfect concept to use, the nails represent restriction impling its forbidden nature, and injury/death follows anyone who goes ahead to eat the apple(just like in the poem)".

The closeness of the apple to the mouth:
This implies we can be tempted, just as witnessed by all living beings.

The background:
This represents clouds, impling the earth as described in the poem.

The tinge of green in the background colour:
is also in keeping with vitality.

Message behind My Poem (Forbidden Vitality):

My poem doesn't quite carry a distinct message, but the following can be deduced.
-The taste for the 'forbidden' exists in all living human beings. We will all be tempted at one time or the other. Staying focused and obedient will get the ultimate reward.

-The pursuit of the satisfaction of 'Forbidden' tastes leads to destruction.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by russigin(m): 8:37pm On Aug 18, 2013
MY ALTER EGO

This is about my alter ego.
We are both incognito
But it tries to break free everywhere we go.
Accompanying me as my amigo.

It was created with the original me
Hidden within by my innocent face
It exposes itself with a harsh countenance,
Though giving me an edge in dominance.

I’m so lucky to have someone like you
Someone whom I can always run to.
Anytime I am afraid,
You give me confidence in charade.

You are someone who wouldn’t weep my tears
Instead, would cry with me till the sky is clear;
Someone who wouldn’t question my silence
Instead would understand that I need some space.

You are you and I am me,
We’re like shoe and shoelace, can’t you see?
How we became so close very unexpectedly,
Like water and oil achieving miscibility.

Sometimes, I try to turn off my alter ego
But it refuses, following me wherever I go
Saying harsh words to some people
When I mean to use nice words so ample

I might not completely know who you are,
But I know you are always here.
Locked up deep inside of me.
Seeking every means to reveal your face.

I will treasure you for the rest of my life
We met by chance, destined to be forever incognito.
I love you as much as I love my life
You’re one of a kind, you’re my alter ego.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by russigin(m): 8:38pm On Aug 18, 2013
Designer: IT BOMB

Why I Choose the Topic: The topic speaks volume about me. I happen to be a person who possesses an alter ego or a double personality as the case may be i.e. a cool personality and a contemptuous personality. This topic gives me the required freedom to talk about myself.

What Unique experience did you learn from working with a designer:
1. I learnt the advantage of having alternatives in case of setbacks.

What were the constraints involved in working in a team
1. There was a breakdown in communication when working with the first designer assigned to me. It held my progress in the work to a standstill.
2. There was time constraint in working with the new designer assigned to me. But, everything was well dealt with and a desired result was achieved.

Tell us everything you need to know about your poem
My poem is a ballad and its language is descriptive. It takes the form of a quatrain with Eight stanzas. Alter Ego is written in second person singular. “My Alter Ego” was composed as a result of the voice in the poem which recurred until I gave up to its demand it grew into this extended piece. I seem to have been shaped by my acute observations and multitude of experiences with my alter ego.
Alter ego, is a poem about self-discovery through inner journey. This poem tries to tell the audience about my attempted journey to self-discovery. This shows the audience that I acknowledged and explored her inner self, or alter ego, in many different aspects. An alter ego is defined as a very close and trusted friend who seems almost a part of yourself. I describe this alter ego as a part of myself that I have personal and complete knowledge of, yet my understanding of this other self is not really complete.
The alter ego or spirit represented in the poem is the true pure self, this self is a perfect being free from restraints. I used the first three stanzas of the poem in describing my alter ego, the next two stanzas in describing its importance to me, the sixth stanza in rebuffing it and the last stanza in appreciating and revering it.

Terminologies/ Figures of Speech Used
Stanza 1:
i. Rhyme was used in the first stanza
ii. But it tries to break free everywhere we go.
Accompanying me as my amigo – PERSONIFICATION( Human attributes are given to inanimate things)
Stanza 2:
i. Rhyme was also used in this stanza.
ii. Though giving me an edge in dominance – My alter ego makes me bold on the outside.
Stanza 3:
i. Use of rhyme
ii. I’m so lucky to have someone like you
Someone whom I can always run to –PERSONIFICATION
iii. You give me confidence in charade – My alter ego makes me external confident when on the inside, am fidgeting.
Stanza 4:
i. Rhyme
Stanza 5:
i. Rhyme was used
ii. We’re like shoe and shoelace, can’t you see? – Simile
iii. We’re like shoe and shoelace, can’t you see? – Rhetorical question
iv. Like water and oil achieving miscibility – Hyperbole
Stanza 6:
i. Rhyme was used.
ii. Conflict(Between me and my alter ego)

Design
The Design goes a long way in describing the alter ego of a human. My designer used a normal face to depict a human being while using two different shades of colour to depict the predominant personality and an alter ego. In the above scenario, white was used to represent my cool self which is predominant while the black colour represents my alter ego.

Message behind my poem
The message behind my poem is about being conscious of your alter ego if you have one and learning how to control it. It also talks to the audience about self-discovery through inner journey.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Shugamania(f): 9:13pm On Aug 18, 2013
Number 4

TWO HOURS TO LIVE


A glass of water please,
A final taste of earth's liquid
Let me feel its strength in these frail limbs
and savour the feel of the life-giving fluid.

Like i've been told it's almost time.
The much-awaited end of the journey
I've played my role and done my part
The reaper calls, i must depart.

All i can do now is ponder
on if i'ld ever get another chance
and if i do, would these things change?
Would i still make d same choices?
or go on a self-discovery journey?
would i refuse the boundaries, and go out of line?
Convince myself am different and set my own path?
Or resist temptation and tow the right line?
Would i walk separately? apart from the ways of the old?
Find peace in isolation and joy in solitude?
Or lose myself in the crowd and enjoy the routine?
And live within the invisible walls termed normal?

I just wish i had gone on that sail
that lifelong dream when all else fails
feel the sea's mood as the boat sways
fulfil the promise i solemnly made.

Well i know not, i can't tell yet.
Am still at this final stage,
and i've got two hours to set things straight.
To taste the rain again, forget the past, let peace reign.
To say sorry i went astray
And re-live only the happy days.

For i can only wish,
as this weak body pays me no heed.
So i'll just enjoy this last sip,
Smile back at the reaper's grin
and listen to the clock's music
slowly counting down to eternity.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Shugamania(f): 9:16pm On Aug 18, 2013
Number 4.

DESIGNER - pcguru

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS TOPIC?

It's something i can easily relate with, as it's a matter that is never far from my thoughts. I've always wondered what would happen if we were to know the precise time we'ld leave? What if something happens and you realise you really dont have the time to actualise those dreams? The questions that arise in my mind each time are always the same and this poem gives me the avenue to ask these questions publicly.



WHAT UNIQUE EXPERIENCE DID U DERIVE FROM WORKING WITH A DESIGNER?

It afforded me the opportunity of seeing the same subject from someone else's point of view. I realised there are several ways to pass a message accross and seeing the art immediately brings what the topic is driving at to mind - The essence of time and what we do with ours. The poem expresses the writer's opinion and the art expresses the designer's opinion while still being in
line with what the poem is trying to say.


CONSTRAINTS -
Availability.
We have different schedules and everyone has got other responsibilities both online and offline plus the designer was working with more than one poem so working together over the net, the correspondence was not very convenient. All in all though, the designer was able to come up with something that works and after a little cut and crop by me everything turned out well. Kudos to him.




EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE POEM.

The poem talks about someone who is at the brink of death and has got just two hours left. It tries to capture the thoughs going through his mind as he awaits the inevitable, how he reflects on the things he wish he had done and the things he'ld probably do differently given the chance to live it all again. He finally resigns himself, lets the water calm him and wait for death to take him in peace.


WHY THE DESIGNER USED THE DESIGNS
One can clearly see an hourglass down to a little amount of sand and an image of a skull in the background.
The hourglass represents 'the time almost out' theme while the skull is an image of the reaper. They aptly represent the reaper grinning, happy that the writer is out of time and he has got another prey.


MEANING OF TERMS

The words used in this poem are deliberately self-explanatory so as to make the message clearer.
However, There's the use of a few figure of speech for poetic reference. Such as describing water 'the earth's liquid' which just implies the source and it's life- sustaining ability.
Euphemism - the clock's music refers to the regular tick tock of the clock, he has decided to see the reminding tick as music as he has got no other choice.

Personification - 'feel the sea's mood as the boat sways'. The sea here has being personified and made to seem like something that's capable of emotions therefore relaying its moods through the boat's movements.


THE MESSAGE
This poem is trying to tell us to reflect on our lives and weigh our choices, are we making the right ones? Are we fulfilled with the life we're living? Or we'ld rather do more?
We can still make the right choices while there's still time.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by princesa(f): 9:45pm On Aug 18, 2013
Reserved for number 5

I am guilty of murder by default...

Slowly, your tendrils grew
Unwanted, yet beautiful
Another life that defines the miracle of divine
And my infidelity, ever there to remind.

But I can't nurture this flower with the sun and the rain
And to the altar of the white demon, I go to make a space
And now your tender tendrils journey to earth's worms
And your immature carcass turn into its humus

He plucks those eyes, they drop, tearing at my soul
But my tears can never heal your shattered bones
The bud, the bloom, the fruit, wasted and gone!
So even if they pierce your heart, I killed you,
It's still my fault that your bones now rot.

I made you nak.ed to the sting of piercing pain
And yet my tears in streams of remorse pour?
Forgive me not little lad! for my heart is cold and sour
For though i could have pruned your bleeding back
But my hands threw you out to the willing quacks
They Snuffed the breath off life's early wanderer
And plucked off roses before they reached their prime
So don't call me mother, for i am your murderer.

Yet...
Not long, I sighed and cursed and blew and thundered!
On those whose trade bring foe upon folks
Who leave out hearts to roast upon roads
And put ablaze millions with no blink or a shudder.
But now I know that i am become worst
For i don't need clubs or guns or bombs
I can snuff out a light with my firm decision
And behead my son for a selfish glance of the future.

And Though they tell me its a right I've got
To peel out foetus that are nothing but blood
Yet I know i killed my son by my default
If only i had decided to love him even more
If only i had decided to love him even more...

7 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by princesa(f): 9:52pm On Aug 18, 2013
Reserved for Number 5

Designer: Onegig

Why I choose the topic:

The word 'murder' caught my attention whilst i was browsing through the list of topics for the second round. Its basically because I've always been one to go for 'deep and strong' poems, and had never really been a fan of poems depicting love, beauty or charms. Captivated then, i thought i could take up the topic and explore the gothic side in poem writing.

What unique experience did you derive from working with a designer?

The experience can best be likened to the phrase: 'Poetry meets art'. Working with a designer gave me the opportunity to graphically illustrate my poem, get some neutral person read, understand and depict my poem graphically, I guess at the end, it makes the poem more appealing and improves its aesthetic quality.

What were the constraints involved in working with a team?
uhm...the constraints were next to nothing atall. Less membership in the team meant that more attention were concentrated on the other. My designer was also cooperative, leading to an effective bridge in communication and distance gap. The Network also, was surprisingly compliant -atleast in my side - and then my designer's response was really commendable.

About the poem:
Well, as the title suggests, the poem, which basically uses the symbolism of a flower, is about the murder of an unborn child, popularly called abortion. It reflects the remorse state of the lady and gave the reason for her action thus: 'for a selfish glance of the future'. What it means is that she had pictured a future of independence and freedom, untainted with the marks of her wayward life and the responsibility of raising a child, outside of wedlock.

Although the poem pictures her as one flowing with deep love for the aborted child and sincerely sorry for her act, but that had not deterred her from 'creating a space with the white demon' or giving out the son to the 'healing quacks'. (both phrases depicting the doctor that had helped abort the pregnancy).

The poem also tells us that the young woman is aware that she was the one to blame, and wasn't any different from the murderers out there who were painted strongly as:

''...Who leave out hearts to roast upon roads
And put ablaze millions with no blink or a shudder''

She knows she's of the same class with these murderers and can't put up a genuine reason for her actions, therefore, towards the last lines of the poem, she openly declares the murder as her default - a failure of never deeply loving her son:

'Yet I know i killed my son by my default
If only i had decided to love him even more'.

The poem is divided into 6 stanzas and is an example of an ELEGY - poems of lament and sorrow.

Why the designer used the design, pictures, visuals and every component of the design:

The design aptly paints my poem more than i could ever pen down. Explaining the rationale behind the art, my designer wrote thus:

''The image is self explanatory when you consider what the poem is all about. It is a sorrowful poem and we had to use elements that convey this message. The font and colour used for the letterings was choosen because they depicted death. In the background of the picture, we could find the image of a hovering vulture which is ready to devour the carcass of the victim. We had to depict the woman as a solemn person looking down, scared and bitter about the crime she had just committed. The blood surrounding the scene connotes the fact that someone's blood had been spilled and we can evidently see this, as the main actor has blood on her hands i.e depicting she actually killed someone, whether intentionally or not''
Meaning of some of the terminologies used:

Some of the registers associated with flowers are used to symbolise the child. Eg: bud, blooms, tendrils, fruits, humus. They are easy to comprehend.

The phrases such as 'white demon' and 'willing quacks' are used to describe the doctor.

Then Words like, carcass, bones, bleeding, are words that paint dead bodies and describe the state of the dead child.

Foetus: an immature baby, still in the womb.

Message behind the poem
The poem is trying to reach out to young mothers who think that they have the right to their body and can decide what stays in or not. It is trying to make them know that every life, no matter how vulnerable and small, is a beautiful seed with the possibility of becoming a tree and bearing fruits, and also like a rose flower, which can bloom with beauty and pride if nurtured. As such, they should be slow to make such decision, even if its a right that they've got, because it always would be their fault if the flower dies, and abortion is murder nomatter how you look at it.

Finally, the poem strongly advocates the anti-abortion cause as opposed to the pro-abortion arguments.
Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Nobody: 12:50am On Aug 19, 2013
"Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come." (Matthew 24:40-42)


[size=19pt]
I missed the Rapture,
I was not deemed worthy enough,
To be captured,
By God's traction beam,
And It would seem,
That Heaven's already bursting at the Seams.

For I was forsaken,
For telling God,
That my heart had been taken,
By another cause,
And my resolve was unshaken,

This cause was liberty,
And the freedom to choose,
How to plot my own way,
And form my own views,
On what was Right and what was Wrong,
And to decide whether I wanted,
To Right any Wrongs.

I wanted the Rights,
To revenge when Wronged,
Even though the Bible said,
That vengeance was the Lord's
And Thus I was Left,
For wanting my Rights,
Sentenced to eternal dark and not heavenly light.

But surrounded by defiant masses who rejected Christ's birth,
I see the Strong not the Meek inherit the earth,
And while now,the poor in spirit inherit heavenly turrets,
And We, the damned proud in our own merit.

We tilt our chins in defiance,
We, the damned in unholy alliance,
Our resolve set in stone,
We who occupy Earthly Thrones
Better a King below than a servant above,
We, the ones who God does not love

We will build a new earth
With no fears of death
For we are already dead
We salute you, all we who missed the rapture
But we are better off avoiding God's capture

[/size]


5 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by Nobody: 12:52am On Aug 19, 2013
Designer: Centje

Why did you choose your topic?

I saw it as a challenge. I've only recently discovered writing and I've found the entire creative process from start to finish to be very satisfying. Writing about the Rapture from the point of view of a damned sinner was pretty dark and allowed me to critically compare/contrast my current worldviews with my highly religious upbringing.

What unique experience did you derive from working with a designer?


Did you know Centje is a practicing doctor? I didn't. The man is an absolute star combining medicine and art. He simply reinforced my beliefs that one can be both Pragmatic scientist and Idealistic artist at the same time. Bigups to you Bruv.

What were the constraints involved in working in a team?

Centje is a busy doctor always on call,so he could only help in his free time - nevertheless we were able to communicate by phone,email,and text so it worked out quite well. He got the vision straight away and his graphic tells the whole story.

Tell us everything we need to know about your poem.

The poem tells the story of a person who was left behind after the biblical rapture. He understands why he was left though, understanding it to be the price of individuality. Christianity has a clear code of conduct with various teachings and dogmas that quite often can be quite rigid.
My poem is therefore a tribute to religious non-conformism and making and living by your own rules regardless of consequence

Towards the end of the poem, the protagonist expresses pride in being condemned for his faith(or lack of) and refers to building a society more to his preference with like-minded people. He acknowledges the more 'conformist' Christians might be in a better environment in heaven, but gloats at the idea of being in total control of his own fate(at least for a while) as opposed the the raptured christians who remain subjected to God's rule even in heaven.




Finally, why did the designer use the designs, pictures, visuals, and every other component of the design
We've gone for a dark theme in the graphic to match the dark tones of the poem.
The protagonist smiles smugly at the viewer with his hand draped across the shoulders of a girl, while the rapture goes on the background behind him,and a burning cross in the foreground - On a basic level, this symbolizes a stubborn refusal to let go of earthly pleasures and an acceptance of the repercussions of refusing Christ. The burning cross symbolizes burning the bridge between carnality and divinity


The meaning of some of the terms, terminologies, figure of speech and designs, or what they signify.

I tried to play around with words and opposites in stanzas 3 and 4. And in stanza 5 tried to counter some of the statements from the Sermon on the Mount. Otherwise it's pretty easy reading-The way I like it.

In conclusion, what is the message behind your poem?

This Poem is basically a long winded way of saying "I do what I want and dont give a fvck". It encourages the reader to always be true to to his own beliefs and instincts regardless of human or divine judgement.

3 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by sheblayze(f): 2:30am On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for Number 7

LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND
Pen could never lie to paper
Pestle would always hit on mortar
Teeth could never eat the tongue
Lipstick would always rub on lips
Leaves were meant to grow on trees
Tulips and daisies, flowers I see
Clothes and skin so close
Bones and flesh together grow old
Eyelids barricade the eyes, though wrinkled
I live my life like its a window


The window blinds, I have discarded
You might come in as wind, I have regarded
Soft and gentle with sweet melodies
Smooching my skin, soothing my spirit
What if you were the light I sought
What if you would be more intense than I thought
Seeing through my burning skin with piercing eyes of love
You could be those thieves I have fought
Trying to climb in and steal my heart by force
Or would you be a perfect gentleman like Romeo and wait by the window


On days so bland, would you understand when I'm blank
The man should search but I promise my hands will stretch
When you fetch my love with zest, I would never relent
I wonder, would your body be muscular for me to lie on
Would your shoulders be broad for me to cry on
Would your machine be long for me to ride on
Would your smiles melt my insides
Would your touch make my spirit come alive
Would you my adonis, be my first guy
Would our love stay alive when we die


Virginity is vanity
Purity is chastity
I wait with uncertainty
I wonder if we'll meet in Lagos city
The Capital city or Salem city
During morning, afternoon, or evening
Time would pause on our first meeting
Two destinies aligned, two souls entwined
Will I see our future in your sparkling eyes
Will I read your mind to know if our cake will be iced


Mother anticipates you
Father can't wait to endorse you
Big Brother is ready to welcome you
Our children will proudly be fathered by you
I will gladly entrust my life to you
I train for you daily, I scrub, I wash, I cook
I know how to love, care and amuse
All basic equipment, I have learnt to use
One thing I strive for, to be a role model to our children
I do hope you feel the same way when we get to our Eden


A letter to my future husband
A letter indeed, A letter he'll read
A letter without a stamp, A letter written in stanzas
The writer is the bearer, The recipient is nameless
Its an insult to standards built with age
For our love's sake, standards do change
Thoughts of you are valuable in this kingdom unbearable
I await your rescue from spinsterdom to wifedom
I'm in support, let's dominate our world
I'll gladly walk down the aisle just to be called yours


Let the birds sing to you my favourite love songs
Let the wind whisper in your ears my oath of undying love
Let the bright morning sun give you warmth in this cold world
Let the storm raging towards you stop even before you say a word
Let your stream of tears be turned to an overflowing river of joy
Let the rain drench your fears, let the light overcome your darkness
Let our hearts beat in unison, let the trees dance to our love's music
Let your heart be flooded with peace, let your being experience bliss
Let the universe bring us close, let the flaming ember of our love never go cold
Yours truly, your wife, your stronghold, your ticket to being a couple.

4 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by sheblayze(f): 2:31am On Aug 19, 2013
DESIGNER: ITbomb



WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR TOPIC?

I chose this topic because I wanted to write on a subject that is of relevance to the Nigerian society and Africa at large. Marriage is customary, individuals have to perform the necessary rites in order to be legally joined.

The three most significant days in an individual's life are the day he is born, the day he gets married and the day he dies. It is noteworthy that an individual can only give account of one of these three days. That is the day he gets married. Thus everyone looks forward to that day.

Getting married has its ups and downs and meeting the perfect spouse is not an easy task. Most of us have high expectations. We set big goals for the future while hoping that the person we'll be bound to for life will somehow fit perfectly into our plans.



WHAT UNIQUE EXPERIENCE DID YOU DERIVE FROM WORKING WITH A DESIGNER?

For the first time, I had to do a collaboration with someone else ( a designer) in creating a work of art. It was ecstatic because we had to work together as a team and fuse ideas from different viewpoints. And as we all know two (good) heads are better than one.

Working with a designer couldn't have been any better as I saw poetry come alive. The aesthetic quality the design gave to the poem was even astounding. It is unbelievable how a message that requires a thousand words to be conveyed is portrayed flawlessly by a single picture.



WHAT WERE THE CONSTRAINTS INVOLVED IN WORKING IN A TEAM?

The only difficulty I experienced was in trying to liaise with my teammate incognito. However, we fixed deadlines for ourselves which enhanced punctuality. Network hassles tried to pose a difficulty but in all, we both did our best.



COMMENTARY

Verse 1 simply portrays the fact that some things can never happen while some others have being destined to be. The strong belief that fate can never be changed is established.
However, fate needs external forces in order to occur. Therefore, the poet tries to show that contrary to African belief that it is solely the duty of the man to find the wife, the writer of the letter is spontaneous and ready for change. Line 10 shows this _ "I live my life like its a window". She (the writer of the letter) is ready to put herself out there to be exposed to all form of advances from potential suitors, yet earnestly waiting to choose the best.


Verse 2: The writer of the letter acknowledges that all sorts of men will chase after her. The wind in Line 12-14 depicts a romantic who knows the game so well. His player nature is figuratively expressed as the wind which is unstable and attends to many things at the same time.
Line 15-17 depicts an obsessed lover who might hurt her in the process of trying to prove his love or win her love.
The thieves in Line 18-20 symbolises the craddle-robber, the sugar daddy, and opportunists generally who would try to force their way into her heart through various crooked means. Line 20 is literally trying to capture the famous baclcony scene of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" it signifies true love in its perfection.


Verse 3: The writer of the letter promises to reach out to her husband if he'll as much as give her a clue of the extent of his love for her. The original marriage vows of "for better for worse..." comes to mind in Line 21-23 when the writer asks her husband if he'll be there by her side even on gloomy days. Line 24-30 conveys some physical attributes the writer desires in her future husband, and she ponders if lifelong long and strong attraction will exist between them. Line 29 has the writer wondering if her future husband will be the one to deflower her.


Verse 4: The writer anticipates the setting in she and her future husband will first meet. Lagos city in Line 34 symbolises hustle and bustle. Would they meet and somehow pick out each other despite their busy lives? Capital city in Line 35 symbolises Abuja (the capital of Nigeria) which is a more quiet and organised place. In the context of the poem, it signifies a corporate environment such as an office, a conference venue, or even a bank. Salem city also in line 35, symbolises a religious setting such as mosque, church, and others. Line 36-40 conveys the writer's musings. Could their first time of meeting give any pointer in the direction of marriage? Cake in Line 40 symbolises wedding.


Verse 5: This verse is successful in taking a sneak preview into the writer's domesticity. The humility of the writer and her willingness to perform wifely duties are portrayed. In addition, Line 41-43 shows that the writer is indirectly pressured by family and society to get married with promptness. The writer also also hopes strongly for a perfect family (home) as portrayed by "Eden" in Line 50.


Verse 6: This verse is an irony in itself. Line 51-55 depicts the absurdity of writing a letter to a future husband, someone who is yet to be seen and known. It bears the writer's frustration and has a sarcastic undertone. Line 56-60 is the dawn of realisation for the writer. The need for a husband is at the top of her priority list. The writer has stopped dreaming and desperation becomes the better of her. "Spinster-dom" and "wife-dom" are not accurate English words but are employed by the poet for effect.


Verse7: This verse is a summary of the writer's prayers for her future husband though he's still unknown. Natural elements such as birds, wind, sun, storm, stream, river, rain, trees are brought into play. Music, the food of the soul is also invoked by the writer. She hopes that these elements will also facilitate their meeting and matrimony.
In Line 70, which is the last line, she ends the letter in a humurous yet strong and thoughtful way. She validates herself as a vital need for her future husband. Her claim is backed up by Bible scripture of Proverbs 18:22, "whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord."


SUMMARY: ALL of the experiences of a spinster journeying into womanhood are unveiled in the poem.. At the early part, the writer is unsure of what she wants her future husband to be and spends her time conjuring up fantasies.

However she is jolted back to reality and returns from dreamland when family, society and even her age pressure her. (When menopause approaches, it becomes difficult for women to get pregnant and men generally prefer to go for 'young blood' instead of 'old cargo')

Frustration sets in due to overwhelming pressures. At this stage, most single ladies will gladly walk down the aisle with just anyone. However, a lady might still be lucky to get the man of her dreams even when all hopes are gone.
The poem ends with the writer wishing her husband well while hoping that he finds and gets married to her.



THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE POEM AND THE DESIGN

The design illustrates a couple having a romantic moment in the beach at sunset and another couple who just tied the nuptial knots.

The couple having a romantic moment represents all the dreams and fantasies conjured up by the writer in the poem. The glowing sunset, the beach, the horizon, the posture of the couple (the man holds up the lady to the sky while she stretches out her hands in glee) all represent the perfect, romanced-filled love life the writer of the letter in the poem wishes for.

Also, the happiness, enthusiasm, and excitement of the couple doesn't go unnoticed. Their eagerness to conquer the world is shown by the way the man holds the lady high up into the sky.

The wedded couple are simply depicting marriage, which is greatly looked forward to by the writer. The letter which starts with the salutation, "dear future hubby" is portrayed also.



THE MEANING OF TERMS, TERMINOLOGIES, FIGURE OF SPEECH AND DESIGNS OR WHAT THEY SIGNIFY

The meaning of terms, terminologies and figures of speech used in the poem have been addressed in the "Commentary" while the Significance of the design has also been addressed in "The Relationship between the Poem and the design."



IN CONCLUSION, WHAT IS THE MESSAGE BEHIND YOUR POEM?

On surface level, the subject of the poem is marriage but in retrospect the poem aims at exposing true human nature when it desires something. Although fate has destined some things to be, they would never come to pass unless they are acted upon by forces. If we need certain things in life, we would never have them unless we push or reach out.

While our dreams are yet to be achieved, we think, we fantasize, we get giddy, we imagine instead of working to make our dream a reality. Expectations most times are set too high so that when opporunities abound before us we close our eyes to them and we waste our time waiting for greener pastures.

Most of us miss our breakthroughs because we want to attain the highest height without starting from the lowest rung on the ladder. Big things start small. Opportunity comes but once. Experience is the best teacher but let us learn from others experience. Some people retrace their steps before its too late while some get desperate and decide to follow the short-cut. A popular idiom says, "The shortest road killed the antelope's child."

Finally, the world is round, let us be open to change that is positive. Let us take charge of our lives while still being humble yet knowing our worth. The sky is large, the horizon is endless, let us dream big and never stop dreaming. Even as we dream, let us remember Newton's first law of motion, "an object will continue in its state of rest or uniform motion until it is acted upon by an external force." Therefore, we must act to make our dreams reality. The change we see, is the change we make. Thank you.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by scorpidmo(m): 10:23am On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 8

Female Circumcision

a remnant of a dream long forgotten
shadows and demons persist in this reality
with delusions of a mind shattered
castles and princes forgotten

lately sleep's bossom
my wonderland
filled with terror and blades
dreaming about how it was, might and will be
nightmares filled with pools of red
a product of a mind tortured
by tales of mistakes of times past

mama coos and cuddles
as the babe sucks the ample bossom
in the curves of her arms
she rests gently in the beauty sleep of innocence

oh how i love her
a bond stronger than Tristam and Iseult we share
papa's dimple also
with her fat cheeks and innocent smile

sadly also feelings of hatred she stirs up
visions of a dream impossible
which i yearn sorrowfully for
oh how i love and hate her

traditions and responsibilities papa says
compass to our existence
a man once bold and mighty
now frail and frightened
with a mind lost in spirit
but the mind wanders to mistakes of times past
how could it feel so wrong doing the right thing
cos it has to be
regardless of what the world says

i remember it
like the memories of life ghosts long to grasp
a memory of a dream long forgotten
his icy cold stare as he got down to business
mama whispering songs and praises
dreams of babes in arm and a home to call mine
all i needed was to stay calm
because all is always fine when mama is there

but pain beyond imagining
grips me in a place i've never bled in
squirm i did
leaving the cut deep and searing

shut and tight it had to be
for the slice was beyond reason
leaving a future
garnered with bitterness and envy

Her cries brings me back to now
a baby with teeth not formed yet
a leg not strained yet
to face the same on the morrow
when the sun shines brightest

i feel old but i'm not that old
young but not that bold
should i save her from this cruelty
or watch her face it as i did
what can i do but pray
and hope i never get to say
what should i have done
but i'm naught but a woman of nine

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by scorpidmo(m): 10:43am On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 8

Female Circumcision

Designer: Lightheart

Why did you choose your Topic?

First and foremost, i was captivated by the titles on offer. Having just discovered the words of painting with words a few months back, i decided to stretch the envelope of my imagination with this poem. In this patriarchal world, where most men believe women are lower than a third class citizen, are of no more use when the strength to breed fades and little girls need to be circumcised to prevent them from deriving sexual pleasure when they get married. i felt their voice deserves to be heard.

What Unique experience did you derive from working with a designer?
Poetry as a form of writing offers the writer a chance to express himself with words, creating an image in the mind of the reader driving home the essence of the poem. But alas a picture/painting says more than a thousand words. He was able to bring the poem to life. Working with someone i had never met proved how far reaching and advanced technology has gotten, exchanging ideas through emails, sms and phone calls trying to meet deadlines. It was an exhilarating experience and would really love to explore it more.

What were the constraints involved in working in a team?
Surprisingly there weren't many bumps as one might expect considering we never met. The only constraint that actually came up was getting the work finished on time, apart from that it was all rosy on this side of the hill.

What is the Plot of the Poem
The poem tells the story of a girl struggling with different after undergoing a failed circumcision with resulted in serious damage to her clitoris. This left her with deep emotional scars changing her views on life, from a girl that dreams about fairies, princes and other things little girls dream of to a person who finds it hard to relate well with her baby sister because she reminds of her things she can't have. Even with her mixed feelings toward her sister, she still feels she shouldn't have to go through with what she did. But because of her status in society, she can't do anything other than pray it works out well for her sister.

The Design
The design is pretty simple and straightforward depicting the image of a little baby that's about to undergo a life changing procedure with the mother providing support and comfort.

Description of Terminologies used
The poem was designed to be an easy read with little/no idioms or complex words.
Wonderland - which is an imaginary world filled with bunnies,witches etc
Tristam and Iseult - a love filled with passion, betrayal, misery and an untimely death. They shared a bond that couldn't be broken with distance. It was used in this to poem express the strength of the familial bond she shared with her sister and the possibility of it ending in misery because of the forthcoming circumcision.

Message of the Poem
Female circumcision should be stopped, it is a barbaric custom that has nothing to do with religion and will only lead to disastrous complications both mentally and physically. Like a famous poet once said "Work while it's still called today for the night cometh wherein no man can work". Let's say no now while we still can.

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by kennikazi(m): 12:19pm On Aug 19, 2013
RESERVED for Number 9
I am Guilty of Murder by Default

It’s just this one time
It won’t happen again.
Other people have done worse
Much worse
I’m just like everyone else.
She won’t remember anything.
She is drunk.
I’ll just take one look.
A quick look
It’s no big deal.
Everyone looks
Everyone’s doing it
I’m not going to do anything.
I’m just going to look
Just for a second.
It’s just a kiss.
I can stop any time.
As long as I use protection
It’ll never happen to me.
She doesn’t have a baby
She’s just late this month.
It doesn’t have a heartbeat
Not at eight weeks.
It’s not human.
It’s my father’s fault for not teaching me anything.
I’m only human.
I don’t deserve forgiveness.
Not for this.
I didn’t do it on purpose
It’s God’s fault for making her pregnant.
I have no control.
I am going to end this.
I am going to end my life
‘Cos I am guilty of murder by default

©Kennikazi, 2013

5 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by kennikazi(m): 12:20pm On Aug 19, 2013
RESERVED for Number 9
I am Guilty of Murder by Default

1. Designer – Kennikazi

2. Why did you choose your topic?
When I started out writing in this community, I noticed an unusual trend; that every other person who called himself/herself a writer on Nairaland either wrote on love, laughter, sex, happiness, marriage, singing birds, sunsets. And little to no writer wrote on hate, sadness, darkness, hopelessness, divorce, depression, and full moons. And there…right there, my writing voice stood and stared. To conjure wordings that will wreck your soul and body to bits and leave you to pick up the pieces. And that was what simply drove me to picking this topic.

3. What unique experience did you derive from working with a designer?
The unique experience I derived from working with myself was that I discovered my hands were not meant to only fill blank pages with my writing, but also with my work of art.

4. What were the constraints involved in working in a team?
I had no constraints with working with myself smiley

5. Tell us everything we need to know about your poem.
The title of the poem “I am Guilty of Murder by Default” could be understood in lay man’s terms as an individual who committed murder. Murder having a dictionary meaning of “a crime of killing someone deliberately”. But an inclusion of the idiom by default gave the poem an interesting twist. By Default gave a dictionary meaning of “something happening because you have not made choices or decisions which would make it happen in a different way”.
Now, I am no literature/English student, but to the best of my scientific understanding, the title of the poem “I am Guilty of Murder by Default” gave a general meaning of “someone not making the right choices/decisions which resulted to the killing of another person”. And that was the exact message behind my poem.
My poem is a 34 lined free verse(I think) which took the being of the writer’s subconscious and “guided” him in whispers on the path were he made all the wrong choices that lead to the inevitable murder of an unborn child.
In the whole poem, the writer seemingly “lied” to himself and gave excuses for all his actions until the abortion, where guilt sets in and he started apportioning blames; first to his father (line 25), then God (line 30), before his guilt finally crushed him and he took his own life (line 33).

6. Why did the designer use the designs, pictures, visuals, and every other component of the design?
My design is a simple illustration of the guilt the writer experienced for his choices/actions.

7. The meaning of some of the terms, terminologies, figure of speech and designs, or what they signify.
There are no big grammars in my poem.

8. In conclusion, what is the message behind your poem?
This poem exposes one of the most common open secrets of youths in our society today, Abortion. It delves into the youth’s inner self to show the lies he/she tells himself/herself while involving themselves in this unthinkable act. And I hope with my poem, they can understand the magnitude of their actions and desist from committing such atrocities again.

Thank you for reading.

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by dhammer(m): 3:10pm On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 10

FEMALE CIRCUMCISION

It is a sad thing which happened here today,
I did all I could but sometimes things end this way, but you know an innocent life is but a trivial price to pay! Forget what these educated fools say, they live in their glass houses, brainwashed by technology, oblivious to the necessity of the ancient ways. All they know propaganda,
all they feed on is the white man’s lies,
the lies have led them astray.
They say our practice is wrong, they say it is evil, Heresy indeed! I, my mother, my sister, my friends,my grandmother and her grandmother before and a thousand generations preceding is proof, circumcising our young girls is the key.
Circumcision takes a wild woman and makes her tame, it gives her the virtues of modesty, chastity and all she needs to remain sane.
So you see an innocent life now and again,
is truly a very small price to pay.

Humans and their backward thinking, it stuns and disgusts me! I a simple razor blade, has seen more violence than I was made to ever see. I have seen the blood of countless innocents spilled. I cannot protest or fight the grotesque ways I am used, for if I could I most certainly would, in the end the fight is left for you.
Her name was Zara, she was only 4 years old,
she was held down on that cold floor,
like a thousand girls before, while in shock and still confused , I was picked up by a timeworn woman, a woman who should have known this was an evil thing to do, the quiet morning air, was filled with a high pitched shriek, a sheik which will echo throughout time, a testament of the misdeeds of human beings, after forever the deed was complete but bleeding did not recede,
as the floor went from a pale grey to a bright red
the high pitch shriek turned to a low pitched whisper and then silence. Silence from the perpetrators, silence from a guiltless girl, silence, only silence.

I did not deserve this, no one deserves this,
the dehumanization of females by ignorance,
a truly sorrowful thing.
I Zara am now just a rumour, just a memory,
so many lives like mine lost for no apparent reason. Africa my beautiful mother, why have you done this to me, to us, your lovely daughters? So many women dead, so many living in shame, so many deeply physically scarred and even more emotionally derailed . so many lives changed, for a tradition which makes no sense. It is time for the living to rise up and say, no more! Let all men and all women, all boys and all girls, Fight this darkness and free so many from a manmade hell. Together shouting with one resounding voice, no more! No more mutilation of the female child, no more exposing her to fear, pain and emotional distress, no more giving her incontinence, infections, infertility and death
No more daughters living in shame, no more victims of chronic pain, No more, No more! A stand must be made, for the girl child unborn and countless more before their humanity can be wronged . The time is now, take a stand! Take a stand!

5 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by dhammer(m): 3:11pm On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 10

FEMALE CIRCUMCISION

DESIGNER: Kpolly

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS TOPIC
Female circumcision is a really important life altering event which has been performed on about 130 million women alive today, of which Nigeria accounts for about 33 million of these. those female circumcision is often seen by most as a problem of the past which is not true, it is still a serious female health issue in Africa. I wanted this opportunity to explore it and build on my existing knowledge about this topic in order to understand why it is practiced, and its detrimental effects on its victims.

WHAT UNIQUE EXPERIENCE DID YOU DERIVE FROM WORKING WITH A DESIGNER
Working with my designer Kpolly was a very unique and rewarding experience, he is without a doubt an extremely talented graphic designer, he was able to visualize the message I was hoping to convey with poem excellently from the outset of our conversations and after just a few short emails, we had reached a satisfying conclusion on everything about the graphics for the poem.

WHAT WERE THE CONSTRAINTS INVOLVED IN WORKING IN A TEAM
I did not experience much difficulty working on the team. it was however frustrating posting and editing the poem on my phone.

THE POEM
The poem, represent 2 points of views; one being an elderly woman who is adamant the old ways are the best, the view of the razor blade used for the deed and the view of a little girl named Zara who was the victim who both believe it is a practice that should be eradicated.
The poems begins with the denouncing of any guilt by the elderly woman as she trivializes the death of the young girl, explaining it away as an uncommon consequence of female circumcision, she further goes on to justify the practice as well as abuse those who are against it
The next stanza, lends the point of view of the razor blade used for the act, having been used so many girls go through the circumcision process, he is frustrated and outraged but unable to revolt against is wielder. He is further distraught by the death of the death of the little girl and he gives us a little insight into the event.
In the last stanza, the little girl voices her surprise and saddened at how she was treated , asks a lot of questions seeking an answers, on seeing the full scale of the problem calls on the living(the reader) to rise up and take a stand

IN CONCLUSION
Female genital mutilation is a really serious issue which needs to be addressed and more awareness has to be made about it , which is something I really hope would be accomplished with the poem, together we can put an end to this terrible practice. Thank you.

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by DonOms(m): 3:21pm On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for Number 11
Rapture

Like gathering whirlwind though yet unseen
And creepingly garnering dusts in between;
Like a thousand-year volcano, yet docile,
Like cocooned pupae jostle
Silently as bubbles popping,
It approaches like scotch mist dropping.

Unexpectedly arriving,
Connivery lacking,
With blaring trumpet,
And nothing like trinket.
Alas! Doubt's murdered,
Reality's conquered!

One shall be taken
As two share a bacon,
Few picked at random
From many in tandem;
Three vanishing from ten
As Jill loses Ben.

Men thrown in disarray,
Wondering at such a display
Of cloud forms never before seen,
Silently ask within what it all mean;
The Saint caught up in the sky sparkles
And those left, still, as if in shackles.

The voice of reason is lost in the deep of darkness,
And as in season of grief, joy is needless.
A solution is sought but none is found,
Atonement come to nought, trumpet's sound;
Without remedy, the bubble has ruptured,
Like fiction, the saints are raptured!
(c) Don Oms

1 Like

Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by DonOms(m): 3:23pm On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 11
Rapture

DESIGNER: Centje - "The Medicartistic Being"


WHY I CHOSE THE TOPIC:
Being a believer who has followed closely the Christian doctrine, it isn't surprising I chose to write on RAPTURE. The word depicts a sure event which is to come unexpectedly. Though highly prophesied yet tarries; for this reason, more people are becoming less conscious of it, thereby relinquishing the need for godliness and embracing evil. This poem aims to achieve a form of awareness.


UNIQUE EXPERIENCE DERIVED FROM WORKING WITH A DESIGNER:
Working with my designer made me understand the endless possibilities of making one's dreams a reality and the essence of developing one's passion. My designer is a doctor by training, and an artist by passion and practice. Man is indeed limitless. Also, teamwork brings out the best of anything. I also learned the true meaning of a "picture telling more than a thousand words."


CONSTRAINTS IN WORKING IN A TEAM:
I'd say primarily, inadequate communication. Although it is expected, considering both the designer and I, the poet are 2 different people in two different fields (Medicine & Engineering resp.) with busy schedules, there wasn't really flow of ideas to perfect our work but due to professionalism on the designer's (Centje) part, we were able to achieve our goals and deliver eventually.


ABOUT THE POEM:
The type of my poem is a fusion of Imagery and Narrative. It has 5 stanzas with 6 rhyming lines making up each. It invokes in the mind of the reader, a picture describing what the event of rapture might look like: "One shall be taken As two share a bacon." Lines 13-18 descriptively tells about the event taking place with three illustrations forming 6 lines in the third verse; while lines 19-24 tells of the effects of the event especially on those who are not raptured.
The first six lines of the poem was more of an introduction into the nature of rapture i.e. Rapture has silently begun all these while but isn't noticed. It means the deaths of people is a little rapture in itself and whatever we do on earth today contributes to our fate - whether we're raptured or not.
The Figures of Speech utilized are basically Metaphors and Similes to give a perfect picture of the event. In fact, the first verse is all simile. Lines 11 & 12 also uses Personification where Doubt and Reality are said to have been killed and conquered respectively.

"Like a thousand-year volcano, yet docile," illustrates the inherent doom in awaiting a long-prophesied occurrence; and "Like cocooned pupae jostle" is a simile comparing the silent struggles of a caterpillar as it turns into a beautiful butterfly.
"It approaches like scotch mist dropping," tells of the unnoticed warnings of a mist before a heavy rain...just like ignoring the warnings of our prophets and preachers.

The last verse finally tells of the reality that has dawned on those left behind and how no immediate remedy exists once the event has taken place. Again, similes are used to create a beautiful image.
"The voice of reason is lost in the deep of darkness," tells of thoughtlessness in a state of fright mixed with surprise.
"And as in season of grief, joy is needless," shows there is no place for regret nor sudden change of status.
And finally, "Without remedy, the bubble has ruptured," tells of the irreversible effect of rapture and the poem ends with a summary or concluding metaphoric statement; "Like fiction, the saints are raptured!"


VOCABS:
Scotch mist - A light rain like dew.
Connivery - scheming or devious plan.
Trinket - a little trifle or anything of little worth or significance.
Shackles - restraint on one's action or progress
Pupae (Plural) - an insect in its development stage between larva & an adult.
Jostle - to move through by pushing and shoving.


WHY DESIGNER USED THE DESIGN:
The Designer (Centje) used the design to perfectly depict the image created in the mind of the reader. The sparkling person rising into the sky depicts a raptured person and the dark region around the design depicts the multitude of those left behind, immovable and staring into the sky.


MESSAGE BEHIND POEM:
The message behind my poem on Rapture is simply "Be Aware of What is Sure to Come and BE PREPARED!"

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Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by badmusace(m): 6:02pm On Aug 19, 2013
Reserved for number 12

Rapture

Our rotating sphere once afloat and light,
Trudges murky waters knee deep in plight;
As Pandora's box whose lid firmly sealed,
By man's choking curiousness, its swarming contents revealed.
The essence of life sucked piecemeal,
By countless errections of industrial fleas;
Backdoors opened for engorged beast to intrude;
Man murdering their kind in extreme adhesion to faith,
In war for one whose war cannot be fought.
All of the world painted in blood-red,
The paintbrush solely our acts and deeds.

Alas, the end is here and time is ripe
For the windy blow of the celestial pipe.
Like these words being the final straw,
The earth begin to unsheathe the worldly prince,
To enslave all for the wrongs of many:
That lowly red dragon with ten horns
Adorned with seven crowns,
On the rise to extend its subterraneous reign.

But behold, the once wounded lamb
In the body of a lion
Who slumbers never awakens for Armageddon,
To reap his sheep from the enclosed claws of the dragon.

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Re: Nairaland's "The Poet" Competition Season 2 - Round 2 - Hot Topics by badmusace(m): 6:03pm On Aug 19, 2013
reserved for nos 12

Rapture

DESIGNER: Classicdea

WHY I CHOSE THE TOPIC: I chose this topic because, it is an event bound to occur- the world coming to an end. There are also several accounts of how this would occur, so writing this poem gives me free rein to predict and narrate this end the way I deem fit. Although, several allusions were made from the bible.

UNIQUE EXPERIENCE: Seeing my words in picture, literarily brought my poem to life. A thousand words, truly, lies in a picture. Kudos to Classicdea, for putting up with my onerous demands, among other things,your efforts noted.

CONSTRAINTS: Getting to contact him, at first, proved futile. Later, I wasn't sure of the time he'd be online but every mail sent was always replied; and uploading the design!

ABOUT THE POEM: The poem is divided into three irregular stanzas.

First Stanza: This potrays the state of the world preceding the rapture using different forms of imageries to depict lots of things. The first couplet presents the general state of things; the earth ('a rotating sphere') can no longer stay 'afloat' to rotate and it is weighed down to 'trudge' (to move with difficulty) in 'murky waters'. This may be interpreted as the world simply being in very difficult times.
Line 2-9 list out the reasons why the earth is in such position. 2-3 blames man's 'choking curiousness'. Man's determination to try out new things leads to the opening of the Pandora's box. These lines is an allusion to Greek mythology, where
Pandora opened a box (handed over to her by the gods),out of curiousity,which unleashed all forms of woes on earth. Line 5&6 blame some of man's creations which have helped to gradually diminish nature and leading to several global crisis such as pollution, global warming, among others. Line 7 blames man's perversion/immorality which is symbolised through sodomy ('engorged beast' being the penis and 'backdoor' being the anus). Line 8 blames extreme adherence to religion which has led not only to nature dying but man also. Line 9 portrays the futility of fighting for a God who has promised to fight our own battles. Line 10&11 blames generally man for the decadent state of the world.

Second stanza: Line 12&13,
Due to this appalling state of the world, the writer believes the end time is here and no longer near, and for the trumpet to be blown signaling the end of the world. Line 14-19, speaks of the arrival of the dragon i.e the devil(as described in revelations 12 v.3) unsheathed as a weapon by the earth, as a form of revenge on man for mistreating it.

Third stanza: After all these preceding gloomy stanzas, the final stanza brings a ray of hope as the saviour 'who slumbers never, awakens' to save his people from the devil. The writer here tries to potray the saviour as three forms in one (my version of trinity). The 'once wounded lamb'(for he was once crucified/sacrificed); the lion (because it connotes a better suited character for battle); the shepherd (although, not expressly mentioned, the reader can easily connotes that it is the shepherd who will fight for the docile sheep). It is at this point the actual 'rapture' or ascension will take place.

Twist in the tale: Like in every great narration, there is usually a twist. The twist here lies in the fact that the poem can end in two opposite ways, it all depends on where the reader pauses. 1."...the once wounded lamb...who slumbers, never awakens..." Or "...the once wounded lamb...who slumbers never, awakens..." Get it?

Note: There are several meanings embedded in this poem that the writer may not be able to put here for several reasons. Also the meaning of the poem should not be limited to the one ascribed above, as any other form of interpretation is welcome. As Lord Denning once said, our language is not one of mathematical precision. For out literature will be poorer if it were.

THE DESIGN: The design as a whole depicts death doom and destruction -the metaphorical state of the world before rapture and the suffering of man at the dragon's arrival, before the final battle (if it ever be fought).

MEANING OF SOME TERMS: I believe I've tackled this in the 'about the poem' section. The major literary devices used to acheive poetic effect are primarily: imagery,metaphor and personification. Other devices used also include assonance, rhymes, alliteration and others I may have used without knowing I used them.

MESSAGE BEHIND THE POEM: The poem warns of an impending doom emanating from man's misdeeds against nature and redemption may come for only those who have  preserved nature.

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