My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me - Family - Nairaland
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His Mother Said His Fiancee Is Not Beautiful And Classy / My Brother's Fiancee Is An Ex-prostitute Have Slept With. Should I Tell / My Wife Insults And Threatens My Fiancee (2) (3) (4)
| My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by vascodagama: 8:00pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
I fell in love with this girl the first time I saw her in 2008. She was then an18 year old pre-degree student. I was 23 and in my 500 level in Electrical and Electronics Engineering dept. My friends laughed it off when I told them I have seen the girl I will marry. When they saw my seriousness, they advised me to allow her to get to 100 level at least before I tell her anything. I got close to her and became her tutorial master. I later saw an angel in her, innocent, decent, intelligent and beautiful. Session ended, she was admitted to Agricultural Economics as against Medicine/Pharmacy she applied for. I went for youth corps in Kwara State. I maintained contact with her during my youth corps in 2009/2010. I went back for MSc after youth corps majorly because of her, she was then in 200 level. I got closer to her, helped her in much of her works, I even went to Teaching and Research Farm with her several times. I proposed to her around this time and she told me she had been engaged to me right from her pre-degree days and that there was no need to waste my time proposing again. I was like in heaven that day. I completed masters and quickly put in for PhD, I got Assistant Lecturership in my dept through my supervisor who doubles as dean of my faculty. We have been having great times. She is closer to my mum and siblings than myself now. Her parent loves me so much. Her dad once told me I am the male child he didn't have. That's how great the relationship has been so far. She is supposed to be completing her second semester by now if not for ASUU strike. We want to get married during her NYSC in 2014. Just before the strike, a friend of mine who is doing his masters in Agric Econs told me he suspects that my Yinka was getting too close to her supervisor, a Prof in the dept. I didn't believe it, but I tried to verify. Beloved nairalanders, the information is very true. I confronted her, she confessed, crying like a baby, I cried for the first time in about 15years. She told me the Prof pressurised her and that he has slept with her twice. I felt like dying. I am heartbroken, devastated and sad. It has become a great issue btw me and my family on one hand and hers on the other. My mother is insisting that "ise esu ni" (its the handiwork of satan), her mum and sibblings calls everyday to beg me. We have fixed our introduction for october. Forgiving her is not a big issue for me, but dear people, what does the future hold, advice me please, God bless you all. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by toofine765: 8:12pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
Hmm, hard nut to crack. She made a mistake by not confiding in you when the lecturer was pressurising her.if she did together you would have found a way out of it. It's too late to cry now so it's left for you to decide if you can forgive her or not but remember no human being is perfect. From all you have said, she do sound like a nice girl hence my two cent, forgive, forget and move on with your relationship. She has learnt her lesson. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 8:14pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
As for me and my family... We'll search for another angel...  Life is too simple to complicate things jare... How would you (and your angel) feel, each time you guys meet the randy Prof on campus? Think twice bro... The "ise esu ni" slogan may turn out to something else, each time she makes mistakes in the house.. Are you sure your mom (Mother In-law) will forgive and forget ?? Lol... Will her family still demand bride price from you after all the apology?? Listen bro, I do not wish to discourage you BUT I don't like a complicated life when there are diverse options available... I am too young to die.. 4 Likes |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Dubby6(m): 8:41pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
try to 4get d prof issh bro after all u no b freshboy  1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by mgbeketoto: 8:44pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
Is the professor not datable?  Why are you obsessed with her past? If you do not feel comfortable with your choice of a fiance. . . THEN CALL IT QUITS! Simple!  I don't see you making it to the altar with any woman. . .for ONE REASON ONLY. YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS YOURSELF. . . With all this 'AT&T' network of TATAFO FRIENDS AND FAMILY. . .'UNLIMITED TALK AND TEXT' PLAN you have going here. . .YOU ARE DOOMED TO FAIL!!!! YOU TALK WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO GAAAAAAAAADEM MUCH FOR A DUDE!!! 3 Likes |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 8:47pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: Is the professor not datable?  |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by mgbeketoto: 8:51pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
acidosis™: What is this? WHO HAS NOT DATED ONE PERSON OR THE OTHER IN HIS OR HER PAST? I ask again. . .why the obsession with her past? The girl must be desperate to for marriage I swear! One immature girl hooking up with a 'boy' half her mental age! Shioooooooooooooor! HE IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS 'FIANCE' is not a virgin or she was a former RUNZZZ GURL?  Or because he is reaping what he has been sowing? ALL THESE MEN THAT GO ABOUT LOOKING FOR 'MISS GOODY-TWO-SHOES'. . . AFTER SLEEPING WITH/RA-PING ALL THE GIRLS ON CAMPUS WITH CULTISM AND ALL! Your DANE GOD never gives you what you don't deserve! YES! I SAID IT!  |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 8:53pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by kreamidiva(f): 8:53pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
Forgive her and forget it. Forge ahead and forget it ever happened. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by mgbeketoto: 8:54pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
acidosis™: I repeat : mgbeketoto: |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 8:55pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by baby124: 8:56pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
lol, no need. You are a guy. You will truly never forget or forgive except you are a saint. Even girls find it hard. Just let it go. Another one will come that will be a better actress. Pele. Even your mum will point it out when she makes a mistake while married. ladies please, if yo have been caught red handed have some self respect and leave the guy. You will hardly have peace. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 8:57pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
kreami diva: Forgive her and forget it. Forge ahead and forget it ever happened. Lol |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by mgbeketoto: 8:59pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
She told me the Prof pressurised her and that he has slept with her twice. I felt like dying. I am heartbroken, devastated and sad. It has become a great issue btw me and my family on one hand and hers on the other. My mother is insisting that "ise esu ni" (its the handiwork of satan), her mum and sibblings calls everyday to beg me. We have fixed our introduction for october. Forgiving her is not a big issue for me, but dear people, what does the future hold, advice me please, God bless you al PLEASE SIR! she has NO ring on her finger. . .SHE IS ENTITLED TO DATING ANYONE SHE SO PLEASES. . . INCLUDING GEJ himself! If you think the next RUNZZZZZZZZ GIRL will be better. . .goodluck to you. It is unrealistic to find a 'clean' girl in the UNIVERSITY system of NIGERIA in this day and age. . . ARE YOU GONNA PASS HER EXAMS FOR HER? How many NIGERIAN FEMALES can pass through the HANDS OF NIGERIAN LECTURERS without being SE-XUALLY - MOLESTED? Next time, get a lady of your level. . .YOU ARE ALMOST A PHD HOLDER. . .WHAT ARE YOU DOING DATING A 200 LEVEL STUDENT? Please, get a GRIP! THIS IS NIGERIA!!!! |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by baby124: 9:01pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
mgbeketoto: Catch them young movement. The issue is, the young ones are the runs girls in uni. . Well not all. This is why he was deceived by her angelic looks. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by mgbeketoto: 9:04pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
baby_123: He was not deceived. . .THIS IS A NIGERIAN REALITY. He is ALSO A NIGERIAN LECTURER. . .how many girls did he SCREW in the UNIVERSITY SYSTEM? Now, he wants to marry VIRGIN! Come take na! The girl sef must come from a WRETCHED HOME. . . ! How many young girls think of marriage as SOPHOMORES. . .IN NIGERIA, IF NOT TO ESCAPE POVERTY? Karma is a sweeeeeeeeet BINTCH. . .ALWAYS!!!! Is it not interesting that a LECTURER IS MESSING WITH A 200 LEVEL STUDENT? What kind of yeye love is that? He prolly started messing with her as a JAMBITO! I swear. . .NA NIGERIAN MEN DEY SPOIL NIGERIAN WOMEN! Serves his azzzzze RIGHT! I fell in love with this girl the first time I saw her in 2008. She was then an 18 year old pre-degree student. I was 23 and in my 500 level in Electrical and Electronics Engineering dept. My friends laughed it off when I told them I have seen the girl I will marry. When they saw my seriousness, they advised me to allow her to get to 100 level at least before I tell her anything. [size=20pt]I got close to her and became her tutorial master.[/size] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONESENSE!!!!  You are one hell of a lucky man! You for try this kind of shyte with my PAPA! Mu he he he he Please, stop distracting this girl. . .YOU HAVE GOT YOUR DEGREE! LET HER GET HERS! Thank you! 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by vascodagama: 10:09pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
mgbeketoto:Thank you for sharing your time with me on my post, no one is a saint but methink you didn't really read the post thoroughly before making comments, thanks anyway... |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by funnyx(m): 10:46pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
But what is wrong with these randy professors/lecturers sef? |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 11:07pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
She is not that innocent ,you found out yourself,it would ve been different if she confessed to you.You will never forget nor truly forgive,she slept with a married man  that shows a level of moral bankruptcy. I won't advice my brother or son to go on with this marriage.This issue will always creep up in the course of your married life.A woman like this will still be pressured to sleep with her boss at work. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 11:34pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
Poster, u have spoiled everthing! Why involve both families? And on a matter like this? Very immature. Even if u 2 decide to sweep it under d carpet,will ur family do so when situations rnt favourable? 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 11:41pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: Poster, u have spoiled everthing! Discussing this with his family has ruined that marriage even before it started,the best thing for the lady in question is to back out from this relationship. 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 11:53pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
Nobody just 'dates' her professor, its either she was f***ing him for grades or she was being sexually assaulted! The truth is that some of these girls are demons in human skin! There's nothing they can't do. Greed rules their brain |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 11:57pm On Aug 26, 2013 |
YPP He will forever hunt that girl with this 'scandal'... Speaking of girl, she's getting hooked at 200level?? Ha ha what is wrong with people?? OP You already messed up the whole show.. you involved families.. God forbid that girl TTC in future na yawa oh... Just carry your petty self and look for another girl to marry. I don't see any Good in this Union ATALL. Is getting a man that bad in Nigeria now that a 200L kid is desperate for marriage?? wish I can talk to this girl. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 12:04am On Aug 27, 2013 |
@Jide,a 200 level girl can be more matured than a 35yrs old lady,there really is no special timing for marriage.Any woman above 20yrs is not too young to be married in my opinion. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Darch: 12:43am On Aug 27, 2013 |
What is wrong with all these women? What did the OP do wrong? The young man is only 5yrs older than the girl and y'all are making it sound like he's a p.edophile! He met the gal while he was still in school and wanted to 'marry' her. Get that right. He didnt want to 'play' around with her,hence telling his friends he has seen his future wife. Now the said future wife slept around with another professor,AFTER being engaged to the young man,and all u ladies have to offer him as advice are rude words? Incredible! Bro i understand you. Just let her go no matter how difficult it is,cos u may never trust her again. Move on with your life. 1 Like |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by armyofone(m): 1:55am On Aug 27, 2013 |
OP, handle the situation (continue or quit). You either go ahead or quit, simple. What is the long tinz all about? You love her I guess, then forget the past and hold on to your babes. Naija guys will do everything possible to enter chick pant, no everyone knows how to chop suya and pick race. Please leave the poor girl alone to carry her cross if you no wan marry, common. Simple as ABC/123 case, geez!! |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by esmeralda1(f): 3:46am On Aug 27, 2013 |
@ op I believe either to continue or not is still dependent on u. My advise will be to take some time, hold on wit d introductn n other arrangements, time is a great healer, take out time together to rebuild ur love n trust but if u r not makin any headway u can move on to look for another. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 6:52am On Aug 27, 2013 |
esmeralda1: @ op I believe either to continue or not is still dependent on u.He can never make any headway. He will just be deceiving himself. It seems that u guys don't know the gravity of what is on d ground here. That gal is forever an a*sshole. In d eyes of his family. Give them some yrs into d marriage,both of them will forever regret it. The guy might decide to forgive and forget but its not easy unless he stops working in dat school. Enof complications already. Like d ladies told ya, let go. Let's not bring kids that wouldn't be cherised by both parents together into this world. We already hv tons of them. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by zayhal(f): 11:38am On Aug 27, 2013 |
Darch: What is wrong with all these women? What did the OP do wrong? The young man is only 5yrs older than the girl and y'all are making it sound like he's a p.edophile!Thank you. My thoughts exactly. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 12:47pm On Aug 27, 2013 |
Bro, Quite unfortunate, but the reality is you have a tough decision to make. First of all, cancel the panned wedding next year. You should not marry someone you have not forgiven or someone you do not trust. For me this girl was more or less your wife - given the level of commitment you both had and she decided to sleep with her lecturer. I dont believe the crap that the lecturer pressured her, if the lecturer was pressuring her, she would have mentioned it to you or to someone else in her family. I wouldn't be surprised if she willingly offered sef. The thing about it that she thought you would never find out. She may or she may never do it again but the point it that, if she is 100% sure you wouldn't find out, she just might do it again. My advice is cancel the wedding. Check yourself if you can truly forgive and forget. If you know you cant then let her go. Marriage is for eternity. You cannot be checking every movement of your wife forever and if you cannot forgive and forget then you may unnecessarily maltreat her after marriage. Bros hard to take but please let her go. Its a lesson for everyone. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by funnyx(m): 1:29pm On Aug 27, 2013 |
ibot_jaycob: Nobody just 'dates' her professor, its either she was f***ing him for grades or she was being sexually assaulted! The truth is that some of these girls are demons in human skin! There's nothing they can't do. Greed rules their brain You're right but some girls are just very naive and easily intimidated. Some of the lecturers are very shameless, they have destroyed many relationships because of their selfishness and inability to control their blokus. |
| Re: My Fiancee Dated Her Professor: Please Advice Me by Nobody: 1:49pm On Aug 27, 2013 |
funnyx: The lecturer is not the issue her, he asked advice about his wife. So when they get married and she starts working, and her boss in the office starts pressuring her, so she should date the boss out of intimidation. I doubt she was intimidated, if she were, she would have mentioned it. The lecturer is not important in this discussion, it could be lecturer, boss at work, religious leader, anybody! 1 Like |
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