Please let's all be careful this Christmas Period. This happened in Abraka two days ago. A lady called an Aboki, a shoe mender to help fix her slippers. She allowed him stay in their compound, while she went back inside to continue with what she was doing. When he was fixing her slippers, he added something inside before stitching it back. Luckily for the Lady, her landlord was at his balcony watching the Aboki without his knowledge. When he was through he called her to tell her that he has finished. She came out, he told her to try it on her leg to make sure it was okay. Her landlord shouted from upstairs, "No oh, don't put your leg in that slippers, I'm coming. He came downstairs, forced the Aboki to put his leg in the slippers. The Aboki refused, he alerted the neighbours. So, they all gathered, forced him to wear the slippers. Immediately he put his leg in the slippers, guess what happened! You like story oh! See as you've opened your eyes and mouth wide to see what happened. Well, what happened is that, the slippers cut, and I was shocked. The Aboki did not sew it well.

Doctor: What is this?
Mad Man: This is the book I wrote. Total 500 pages.
Doctor: You wrote 500 pages! What did you write?
Mad man: First page I wrote one King rode on a horse and went towards the jungle. And on the last page I wrote the King reached the jungle.
Doctor: So what did you write in the rest of the 498 pages?
Mad Man: I wrote; Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik ti tigdik tigdik...(The sound of the horse running)
Doctor: Who will read your story?
Mad Man: I'll put it on Facebook. My mad friends will surely read it just like you have done.
Don't be angry with me oh my people it's a joke.

I was at a park when I saw a woman seriously complaining about her stolen phone. So I went near her to listen to what she was saying. I was also downloading something with my phone at that same time. Immediately she saw my phone she told the crowd that it's her phone which was a Samsung galaxy S6 Edge. For a moment I couldn't even open my mouth, I was so confused. She held me and slapped me. The crowd attempted to beat me up. But luckily a policeman was passing by and he came into the scene. He asked what was going on and I explained with tears all over my face. He sent me to the police station together with the woman and I still explained to the policeman that I was innocent. So the policeman asked the woman to call her phone. She called and a girl picked, it was her daughter. The girl told the woman that she left her phone at home when she was leaving. I even cried more and more because I had already been disgraced. The policeman told the woman to settle me with some money. The woman pulled 10 million naira out of her hand bag and wanted to hand it over to me but it was just too much for me so I just opened my eyes, stood up from my bed and went to urinate. Please do you think I should go back to sleep?

I will be having a swimming pool party at my place on Sunday 25th December. Contact me if you are interested. Free drinks and food.
NB: Everyone should come with his or her water to swim. Thank you.

I have been crying since morning when a Hausa girl stopped me at computer Village and told me that she is looking for GOOGLE PLAYSTORE.
I asked her Google Playstore how?..............
She said her WhatsApp stopped working and her neighbour told her to go to Playstore and download a new one.
Anyway as a good Samaritan I told her Playstore is no longer in ikeja but they have relocated to oyingbo area, I then put her in a bus going to sango.I guess I do d right thing ?

On Saturday I took my shoes to a shoemaker. Yesterday morning I saw him wearing them. I asked him why, and he told me they were on a road test.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKCTYKkyXog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKtf9OSYcTc

lolz,,,,,,,,

Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030:

PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Halleluyah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon… Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.

CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless You All.

CONGREGATION: Amen! angry

Visit www.facebook.com/lafawayahsorow for more

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Complete this six letter word

_o_e_h

Clue:
1. Girls love it
2. Boys use it
3. Parents hate it
4. Animals are scared of it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSh_BIoXjtM


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTBPyowbKgY

njuwo:
I just Noticed that Life is too short to commit suicide cuz In the year 2002 nokia 3310 was N75k with N40k econet sim card, but today its N700 and the sim is free.. In 2003 samsung c100 was N48k and I must recharge with atleast N1500 airtime every... two weeks or else my sim will be blocked. today its N800 and I dont even need to recharge to retain my sim {customers are needed}... In 2004 sendo x with camera and 16mb memory card {one of the cheapest mp3 enabled phoneback den}was N39k today its free... In 2006 sagem my v55 was N30k today its going for N300... 2008 nko blackberry bold 2 was N135k today blackberry is no more producing new bold 2... so London used na N15k.. U can get 9ja used for N6k... So my friend, if u neva dey use blackberry porch, htc smart phones, android, ipad, iphone, playbook or nokia 808, pls, dnt worry. Just wait and see, coz before 2015 our children will be using them as toys....*smiles #......Be Patient. Dis makes me wonder why sum girls go crazy simply coz of material tins. U want a bold 5, U want brazilian hair, U want LV bag, but remember, Beatles was d richest car in 1980'z.....THIN K!!! See d kinda of depreciation it experienced within short period. BEAUTY FADES! WEALTH can also be ERASED. Jux work hard, Hav a good character and Be loyal to ur feelings!!!,and lastly rem dos wit d bests cars 2day once wlkd on foot,calm down n Give God ur time,for only Him can mk............. ........ Time shall favour u. Can i hear ur Amen??

na true o. Amen

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Marketing Skills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1xB83g6NBc

Trapqueen77;

Kindly tell the house my phone got stolen yesterday, and that they should block the number.

When I get a new phone next week I'll send you a message here.

KillerPriest:
Trapqueen77;

Kindly tell the house my phone got stolen yesterday, and that they should block the number.

When I get a new phone next week I'll send you a message here.

Aaww... Sorry to hear that... Yes, I will tell them.. Hope everything is OK with u.. Be safe my lord..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIYASSc1mdw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IBVvmVS1ew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNAyXbVhGmQ

How can somebody just day house day mumu him sef
Abegg inside N10 Biscuit and N1000 Biscuit which one day sweet pass?? say no go be the N1000 own ni
Abeg una follow me judge ohhh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dP50DlBtzQ

A prostitute went to the clinic because her private hair had stopped growing. She asked the doctor what could be the cause. The doctor looked at her and responded, "Have you ever seen grass growing on a busy road?"

This new song is hotter than fire and about to shake the streets. Ofego sings about Girls who like to snap pictures anyhow as if they use it to swear for them. It's a must download for you. Follow this link to download and enjoy http://www.njuwo.com/2017/02/ofego-girls-too-like-to-produced-by_4.html?m=1