greatgod2012: But the question is.......do we really have true friends nowadays

joywendy: i like dis post,but afta readin dis i realize i dnt really have true frds

onegig: What about me?

Femoje: .

2. Walk away when times get tough
.
True friendship and good character is all about how a
person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable
and can give very little in return. Thus, it’s not who’s
standing beside you during good times, but the ones who
stick by you through tough times that are your true
friends.
So take note of who remains in your life when times get
tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources
they have in their life to help you improve yours when you
need it most. Seriously, when you come out the other side
of a difficult period in your life, look around you. The
people still standing beside you are your true friends.


8. Bully you.

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your
enemies, but just as much to stand up to your friends.
Sometimes bullying comes from the most unlikely places.
Be cognizant of how your friends treat you, and look out
for the subtle jabs they throw. When necessary, confront
them or distance yourself from them – whatever it takes to
give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you really
are.
Life’s too short to be hanging around people who try to
control and manipulate you. Anyone who does so is not a
true friend. Gain your independence by taking off the
shackles and freeing yourself from these bullies. (Read
The Mastery of Love .)

Femoje: 1. Criticize you for being flawed.
As flawed as you might be, as out of place as you
sometimes feel, and as lacking as you think you are, you
don’t have to hihde all the imperfect pieces of yourself from
a true friend. They see your flaws as features that make
you interesting and beautiful.
The quality of the happiness between two people grows in
direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse
proportion to their intolerance and expectations. True
friends love and appreciate each other just the way they
are.
2. Walk away when times get tough.
True friendship and good character is all about how a
person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable
and can give very little in return. Thus, it’s not who’s
standing beside you during good times, but the ones who
stick by you through tough times that are your true
friends.
So take note of who remains in your life when times get
tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources
they have in their life to help you improve yours when you
need it most. Seriously, when you come out the other side
of a difficult period in your life, look around you. The
people still standing beside you are your true friends.
3. Discourage you.
Unfortunately, some who seem like your friends will try to
hold you back from your full potential. It may be difficult,
but don’t let these negative imposters bring you down.
Don’t ever let your so-called friends turn your sky into a
ceiling. Beware of friends who try to belittle your
ambitions. Small hearts and minds always do that. The
greatest hearts and minds – the people you should spend
time around – make you feel that you, too, can become
great.
Remember, encouraging things happen when you
distance yourself from discouraging people. Doing so
doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect
yourself. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the
“Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy,
Successful People Do Differently.)
4. Hold a grudge over your head.
Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer
who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the
past, learned from them, and moved beyond them. They
may not be able to stand the fact that you’re growing and
moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your
past to catch up with you. Do not help them by
acknowledging their begrudging behavior. Let go of their
negativity, find peace, and liberate yourself!
A true friend never holds the unchangeable past against
you; instead, they help your repair your present and
future. If someone relentlessly judges you by your past
and holds it against you, you might have to take matters
into your own hands, and repair your present and future
by leaving them behind.
5. Lie to you.
When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar,
and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you
have a lot in common with this person – you’re both lying
and being unfriendly to YOU.
If you know someone who avoids the truth by telling you
only what you want to hear, they do so for their own
benefit, not yours. They are not a true friend and they
don’t deserve to be treated as such.
6. Pretend like they have all the answers.
If you think about the people who have had the greatest
positive effect on your life – the ones who truly made a
difference – you will likely realize that they aren’t the ones
that tried to give you all the answers or solve all your
problems. They’re the ones who sat silently with you
when you needed a moment to think, who lent you a
shoulder when you needed to cry, and who tolerated not
having all the answers, but stood beside you anyway.
Don’t look for a friend who will solve all your problems;
look for one who will face them with you. (Read Tuesdays
with Morrie .)
7. Take from you without giving back.
You deserve to be with friends who make you smile –
friends who don’t take you for granted – friends who won’t
leave you hanging. When you notice that a friend is
always taking from you without giving back, you might
need to distance yourself from them for a while. If they
care, they’ll notice. If they don’t, you know where you
stand.
You should want to give, but you shouldn’t be forced to
always give more than you get. If you feel like you are
being taken advantage of, respect yourself enough to
confront the situation. This doesn’t mean you have to
stop being friends with those who you feel are at fault, but
you need to evaluate your friendships and realize where to
draw the line when you give yourself to certain people.
8. Bully you.
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your
enemies, but just as much to stand up to your friends.
Sometimes bullying comes from the most unlikely places.
Be cognizant of how your friends treat you, and look out
for the subtle jabs they throw. When necessary, confront
them or distance yourself from them – whatever it takes to
give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you really
are.
Life’s too short to be hanging around people who try to
control and manipulate you. Anyone who does so is not a
true friend. Gain your independence by taking off the
shackles and freeing yourself from these bullies. (Read
The Mastery of Love .)
9. Make you feel like you’re burdening them.
True friendship is never burdened with stressful promises
and obligations. What true friends do for each other
should be done because they care and because they want
to do them. Period.
So don’t chase people. They don’t need to be chased. If
someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll
make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.
Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously
overlooks your worth.
Afterthoughts
A true friend who understands your tears and troubles is
far more valuable than a hundred friends who only show
up for your smiles and joys. Because a true friend accepts
who you truly are, and also helps you become who you are
capable of being.
Friendships like this require more than just finding the
right person, they also require you to be the right person.
When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, try
not to let them down. True friendship is a sweet
responsibility to be nurtured, not an opportunity to be
exploited.