baby_123: Weekdays 11pm. Week nights 2am. Except he sleeps for 3-5 hrs a day after such enjoyment I wonder what time he has to be a family man. Na wa o. Something's we have to learn to do with moderation after a certain age or milestone

This is one of the major concern I have. I have elder brothers and cousins who used to be night crawlers but are now full time family men but my hubby has now picked up a habit most responsible family men are dropping.
Honestly, I have given up, just want my sleep!

mrs flawless: Okay, now I need a mind transplant so I can think more like @uju and @ Efe and worry less like like @ CC, Jide and Debrief

@ Efe, I have been married for 8 and a half years, and we dated for 6 years! We have had our own issues just like every normal couple. I would conservatively rate things in the bedroom at 80%. We do sometimes have a lull but things are far better now than they were when we got married.
We would probably have "played" if he knew I was awake early today when he came in and I wasn't spared by 9.00am when I woke up(if you get my drift) so I don't think d crawling has to do with anything bedmatics.
I just need to find some cheaper ways of unwinding as well, I work really hard and I'm not the kind of woman who keeps her income to herself and think the man should be a sole provider for any family. Most things in my house are split 50/50.
I don't do Africa magic but I guess I have to start watching series and other stuffs that will also keep me busy.
Thanks again, I hesitated before creating this topic but I actually feel better now.

Lol! I get you jare.

And yes, if you live over here in the west, it's a question of 'both hands on deck' as per bills.

Anyway, there really doesn't seem to be that much of an issue if I understood what you've said so far. Like someone mentioned, make sure he's got his own set of keys so he doesn't wake you and the kids up in the middle of the night / wee hours of the day... and make sure he's got his dinner in the refrigerator so when he gets home, all he needs to do is pop it into the microwave.

You've been together for a long time dear, so I believe you understand him just as he should understand you too. Like I said, try to worry less. As long as he's safe, then all will be well.

Efemena_xy:

I don't know about the partying till late bit sha, but if the man's out there earning money for his family and putting his kids through private education, pays his share of the bills, still that loving father and husband, and always picks up his phone IMMEDIATELY I call him, then what's the wahala?

Efe always on point with your sense of pragmatism

mrs flawless:

This is one of the major concern I have. I have elder brothers and cousins who used to be night crawlers but are now full time family men but my hubby has now picked up a habit most responsible family men are dropping.
Honestly, I have given up, just want my sleep!

Well it could be he married you because you will let him eat his cake and have it. Including love pf course. How about limiting that hangout to the weekend? Maybe Saturday night. As long as he can promise to be up to going to church on Sunday. Life is about compromise. At this time his children need him more than his boys. So he has to do things with moderation. Where does he even find so much energy? I can't even stay up till 1am these days. Me and this man will plan plan plan and then fall asleep when it is time to go. And this is coming from former club ninjas. Age and other pressing priorities have taken over. Please talk to him about a compromise. A lasting one. Is it worth it for his kids to lose their father at a young age because he must party? The streets are dangerous for everyday night waka.

mrs flawless:

This is one of the major concern I have. I have elder brothers and cousins who used to be night crawlers but are now full time family men but my hubby has now picked up a habit most responsible family men are dropping.
Honestly, I have given up, just want my sleep!

That doesn't make him less responsible. Granted he should be dropping the habit now but he obviously didn't do it when his mates were doing it, so right now is his own beginning.

I understand most people's outrage here but I'll advice you to handle it like it's his mid-life crisis. Eventually he will stop! If you try to enforce rules by doing gra gra, he'll only get defensive and wahala go start. You said it yourself that your marriage is great in other aspects, so why not let him have his few hours of harmless gyarations!

Advice him on how to take security precautions at night and trust God that nothing will happen to him!

And then go to sleep my sister . . .