sholay2011:
Hmm...I know you are extremely happy that uj sizzle liked it. She was the target audience.

gozmos: Where is the PDF

shakespere: this is is pacy and deviod of unnessesary diversions. quite nice for a specimen script. written lots of scripts myself. not much camera directionn that cld vex the director. dialogue is good and no over explained scenes. however work more instructions that will help the the production guys. goodluck.

lassbati: that is wonderful.....all the way

VillageBoi:
Hi Shakespere, thanks a lot. Could you please further explain what you mean by 'pacy' and 'more insructons that will help the production'?

Rehil: The Vayan,nice stuff.proud of u brother,with or without GF,u r representing us.May God preserve n keep u.The sky shall be just a steping stone for greater things to come in your life.

VillageBoi: ^ ^ ^
Ok my broda, no problem

ugojamali: Good narrative. Descriptions are well done. I visualized d scenes from the words.

But I didn't feel the story. And I didn't agree with its concept or intended concept. One question I have is...Why does everyone, even people who had never seen James since birth, were able to recognize James except his own mother?

Even d old woman recognized James though she said she had not seen d mother since a few months before James' birth?

VillageBoi:
remember in the script even Emilia got which one was his mother 'wrong'! She was just going by the fact that she remembered the two girls and that one became pregnant)

.

Aywire: OP, lovely script. Can I feature it on my blog? Will surely return the credits. By the way freelance writers are needed for the blog. Contact: info@jstsaying.com

richardoz: This is good. Kudos

VillageBoi:
Hi Aywire I'm glad you liked it, sure you can feature it on your blog. Let us also know your blog info. Thanks.

Aywire:
My blog info can be found here http://jstsaying.com/the-team/about. Thank u.

VillageBoi:
Hi Original, thank you but this is not a script I ever wanted to shoot... this was me 'learning' how to write... I'll hit you up and talk about other far more commercial stuff.

There are always answers... but do we 'really' want to ask the questions?

VillageBoi:
Oh in that case... it's definitely not a new 'idea'... there must be hundreds of films/scripts out there with a person looking for his or her birth mother.

I'll let you in on a secret... both this script and my short film 'Sweet Sixteen' were both inspired by a friend I used to work with... he never knew he was adopted and when he found out he ended up finding his 'birth-mother' over the Internet. It's pretty easy to twist it into a dozen 'stories'.

Oh for the fun of it. People can watch it again (It has it's own thread - https://www.nairaland.com/866173/new-short-film )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh8yGYeN6Ls

VillageBoi:
I think it was the 2nd I wrote when I was still at Uni. It was for one of our writing modules... so it's a 2006 script cos I finished in 2007.

speedyboi: I'm Back! I just finished reading it.
First and foremost....which one was rewritten into another? 'Mothering heights' into 'sweet sixteen' or the other way round? Yea...I noticed! .

This is a very brillant script, Villageboi! A bit disappointing though...Because 'it's from Villageboi'! But well, you said it was your first script...so you are forgiven .
Now on to my observation:
I think this script is very boooring for most part....(except the last part; and I was like 'wtf ' - Then I remembered...Sweet Sixteen had similar ending )
Even that last part I liked; the content of the letter Amanda left is very Cheesy! I prefer the one in the last part of 'Sweet sixteen'. moreover, most parts of the dialogue in this script are cheesy. It looks nice to read....but I know it will turn out cheesy when acted out (don't ask me how ).

Before I forget, there are some really nice quotes in this script.
e.g
and some few others. But Me thinks 'Good question!' is a better and more gripping answer to that.

I also have to commend your writing method! what more can I say? On point! very Artistic and detailed description! That is the only thing in this script that stands out! The rest....Just blah! . And Yes! Because it is from Villageboi .

That's it for now...

original2k:
I couldn't get your message, maybe you can call me on 08182891928, 08037041986 so I can give you my email personally. Take care

VillageBoi:

I can't remember which thread but I did mention a long time ago that I'm not even a 'writer' and I only do it if I have absolutely no choice, hence me always looking for writers here & elsewhere

prof800:
But you are actually very good in writting.
It is not about idea or 'feel' or errors...it is all about style. And your style is impressive.

VillageBoi:

Hiya, I'll call you later in the day. I wanted to get some info about lights & location.