Football vs Sex.

1. Going to your bf/gf house without being invited = OFFSIDE

2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK

3. Condom = GOALKEEPER

4. Condom breaks = PENALTY

5. Abortion = RED CARD

6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN

7. Having sex without a condom = OWN -GOAL

8. Taking a lot of time without cumin = MAN OF THE MATCH.

9.Banging 3 girls in a day= HAT-TRICK.

10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP(Most valuable Player)

11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH

12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL

13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.

14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIRPLAY

15. Biting her nipples/his Dick :sUAREZ

16.Two legs on shoulder =THROWING.*nerd *

17. Asking her 'how do you want it' =taking instructions on d sideline.

18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR

19.Girl being pregnant= Goooooooooaaaaallll

LMFAAAAOOOOOOL... *Rolling inside the net*