was watchin a t.v show few weeks ago, an d anchor said somtin dat kindof struck wit me, she said "its high time mothers taught their dautas hw 2 deal with situatns involvin d oda woman" nw let me brk dis dwn, d oda woman is d woman dats takes d attention, tym, resources etc of ur husband away 4rm u. believe it or nt, d oda woman exists, it culd b his mistress, secretary, friend, mother, galfrnd etc. d questn is: do u think a moda shuld teach her dauta hw 2 deal wit d oda woman wen d situatn arise?

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Which other woman? Why stress yourself to deal with numerous other women when you cab deal with only one husband?

The only link the other women have to you is your husband.

Except your husband is daft and senseless, no other woman can take his attention away from you. He gives it to them.

People should learn to cure the disease and not the symptoms

U knw when a lady is in a situatn involvin d oda woman, it causes discomfort, somtimes pain, as d relationship btw d lady and her husband is strained. wuld havin recieved lessons 4rm d mum abt hw 2 deal wit dis issue probably b4 marriage help?

bukatyne: Which other woman? Why stress yourself to deal with numerous other women when you cab deal with only one husband?

The only link the other women have to you is your husband.

Except your husband is daft and senseless, no other woman can take his attention away from you. He gives it to them.

People should learn to cure the disease and not the symptoms

Rily? hw? also i dont think only daft nd senseless can ve deir attention taken away 4rm their wives

warrigal: Rily? hw? also i dont think only daft nd senseless can ve deir attention taken away 4rm their wives

Have you seen a married man disturbing himself about the other man before?

He has the common sense to know that his wife is the problem and not the other man.

We should take a cue from them.

I am sorry I'm not all those wear black pant red bra cook sweet food wonderful sex preachers. If that"s what you want to hear, there are a lot of threads to that effect.

Marriage requires two mature people to make it work. If you are not satisfied with hubby's way, the onus is on you to cry out so that the problem (real or imagined) can be solved and vice versa.

If you think husbands are babies that can be cajoled to give their attention to the other woman, it is well

Lets be specific about who the other woman is. We should not include mother, colleagues and mistresses as the same. The other woman should mean only one thing and that is his mistress. Mother is family and colleague is work. Mistress is mistress no other word for it and that is the situation that has to be dealt with.

Different people have different ways of dealing with this. How you deal with it depends on whether he was always like that or he just started misbehaving. It also depends on how long you have been married and children involved etc. No standard answer as each case is always very different.

bukatyne:

Have you seen a married man disturbing himself about the other man before?

yes, i should think they do, unless the couple are so far gone it doesnt matter who is scr*wing who.

He has the common sense to know that his wife is the problem and not the other man.

we all wish!

I am sorry I'm not all those wear black pant red bra cook sweet food wonderful sex preachers. If that"s what you want to hear, there are a lot of threads to that effect.

true.

i also dont always get the logic behind underwear and cooking is the only thing to marriage.

unless its meant in a "spiritually esoteric" sense i suppose, ie juju things.

So are we sayin we shuld 4get d oda woman and face our men? @nashville, i tink i disagree wit d oda woman being jus a mistress alone, a man culd form some sort an attachment wit a co-worker dat might nt even involve intimacy, a relationship dat might put his marriage on shaky grounds.

warrigal: So are we sayin we shuld 4get d oda woman and face our men?

Forgive me, but this question is just sad.

#Long freaking way to go!

Wu Zetian:
Forgive me, but this question is just sad.

#Long freaking way to go!

I tell you!
What exactly would be ur business with the woman

Nigeria men, change o.


The other woman indeed!

For all I care, please remove MOTHER from the described list of your other woman. MOTHERS are too sacred and important to be termed other woman by any wife.

If you are not married yet and you believe your potential MIL will be "other woman", please, I advise you not to marry at all.

However, I have no idea on how to deal with the other woman but I have a better idea on how not to give yourself an heart attack on thinking too much about the other woman. MARRY A RESPONSIBLE AND GODLY HUSBAND, the other woman's case is resolved. QED.

@belllong, hahaha, point taken.

warrigal: So are we sayin we shuld 4get d oda woman and face our men? @nashville, i tink i disagree wit d oda woman being jus a mistress alone, a man culd form some sort an attachment wit a co-worker dat might nt even involve intimacy, a relationship dat might put his marriage on shaky grounds.

bukatyne:

Are you surprised what do you expect from warri babe.

@Bukatyne you are so on point!....imagine leaving the number one culprit to chase shadows...what if the man insists he wants 'the other woman'....besides, it's embarrassing enough being cheated on so why disgrace ones self further?

bellong: For all I care, please remove MOTHER from the described list of your other woman. MOTHERS are too sacred and important to be termed other woman by any wife.

If you are not married yet and you believe your potential MIL will be "other woman", please, I advise you not to marry at all.

However, I have no idea on how to deal with the other woman but I have a better idea on how not to give yourself an heart attack on thinking too much about the other woman. MARRY A RESPONSIBLE AND GODLY HUSBAND, the other woman's case is resolved. QED.

Bellong I guess your thought is borne out of just what you have seen. The pianist in my former church lost his marriage. The wife actually took in for another man and since the man knew he had not slept with her in more than 9 months it was obvious he was not the owner of the pregnancy.
Now to the issue, I know the guy personally. Very sweet guy but for one year that we were friends I never knew he was married (the marriage) had not packed up at that time.
If you happen to discuss with him, he will probably mention his dad or mothers name three times in five minutes.
My daddy said, my mom called me, after I discussed it with my dad e.t.c.
By the time I knew he was married I was totally disappointed. He seemed to be so engrossed with his own family and I felt sorry for his wife cos it was obvious he had no life of his own a mommys pet.
Not long after that he lost his marriage.
My own mum is a very clingy person but since I have realised that , I have done very well for myself to detach myself from her.
We are still fighting on that till now cos she wanna continue seeing me as her son but I wanna make life easier for my babe when we marry.
I do not want her to conclude that it is my wife that has turned my heart away from her.
The bible says ' a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one'.
So bellong you gotta watch this aspect if you have not been.

That's a lousy thought . .

I have been in ALL sides of the love triangle. In my youth I dated married men/women. When we tired each other

it ended amicably. I never wanted any of them to leave their partner, and they never said they would.

People talk about catching their spouse cheating. I don't know about that. I never got caught. So, I never had to

deal with a crazy husband or an irate wife.

Would I date a married man/woman now? No. When I was done "screwing around" I was ready for a meaningful relationship.

Dating a married man/woman you don't get a meaningful relationship, you get sex and a few laughs.


If you want to know what happens behind closed doors with the other woman I will tell you. We do A LOT of active listening,

laughing at stupid jokes, and (in general) not being judgemental or critical. It seems their husbands had forgotten how to do

that. I'm sure their husbands would disagree . . .but they would be wrong.

Guitarlife: Bellong I guess your thought is borne out of just what you have seen. The pianist in my former church lost his marriage. The wife actually took in for another man and since the man knew he had not slept with her in more than 9 months it was obvious he was not the owner of the pregnancy.
Now to the issue, I know the guy personally. Very sweet guy but for one year that we were friends I never knew he was married (the marriage) had not packed up at that time.
If you happen to discuss with him, he will probably mention his dad or mothers name three times in five minutes.
My daddy said, my mom called me, after I discussed it with my dad e.t.c.
By the time I knew he was married I was totally disappointed. He seemed to be so engrossed with his own family and I felt sorry for his wife cos it was obvious he had no life of his own a mommys pet.
Not long after that he lost his marriage.
My own mum is a very clingy person but since I have realised that , I have done very well for myself to detach myself from her.
We are still fighting on that till now cos she wanna continue seeing me as her son but I wanna make life easier for my babe when we marry.
I do not want her to conclude that it is my wife that has turned my heart away from her.
The bible says ' a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one'.
So bellong you gotta watch this aspect if you have not been.

...

I have passed that level bro. I still stand by my word, a mother should not be termed as "the other woman". It denigrating, insulting and bitter.

I understand your point but the story you wrote is not the norm. Yes, all mothers are clingy especially those with one child but most men free themselves from the hold of their mothers. Only very few remained as mama's boy. It is not enough to call the mother "the other woman". The blame is not for the mother but the husband who couldn't detach himself from the hold of his mother. Just like Bukatyne said, the main problem is not "the other woman" but the man.

In like manner, fathers are known to be over-protective and clingy to their female children. Yet, husbands do not see their FIL as the "other man" because they know what and who to address in achieving a balance.

Nothing will make me take a Mother as the "other woman" in marriage. She is too sacred to be given such a derogatory term.

minute: That's a lousy thought . .

I have been in ALL sides of the love triangle. In my youth I dated married men/women. When we tired each other

it ended amicably. I never wanted any of them to leave their partner, and they never said they would.

People talk about catching their spouse cheating. I don't know about that. I never got caught. So, I never had to

deal a crazy husband or an irate wife.

Would I date a married man/woman now? No. When I was done "screwing around" I was ready for a meaningful relationship.

Dating a married man/woman you don't get a meaningful relationship, you get sex and a few laughs.


If you want to know what happens behind closed doors with the other woman I will tell you. We do A LOT of active listening,

laughing at stupid jokes, and (in general) not being judgemental or critical. It seems their husbands had forgotten how to do

that. I'm sure their husbands would disagree . . .but they would be wrong.

Quite revealing I'd say.

bellong:

...

I have passed that level bro. I still stand by my word, a mother should not be termed as "the other woman". It denigrating, insulting and bitter.

I understand your point but the story you wrote is not the norm. Yes, all mothers are clingy especially those with one child but most men free themselves from the hold of their mothers. Only very few remained as mama's boy. It is not enough to call the mother "the other woman". The blame is not for the mother but the husband who couldn't detach himself from the hold of his mother. Just like Bukatyne said, the main problem is not "the other woman" but the man.

In like manner, fathers are known to be over-protective and clingy to their female children. Yet, husbands do not see their FIL as the "other man" because they know what and who to address in achieving a balance.

Nothing will make me take a Mother as the "other woman" in marriage. She is too sacred to be given such a derogatory term.

I understand bro . But then these things happen. What I wrote up there is a true life story o. And I happen to see it far too often. Its not as uncommon as you are making it seem. I have had to school grown men on the fact that as a married man, your mother remains a visitor in your home.
You may not tell her this but a man still has to make his mom understand this fact one way ot the other, otherwise the wife might just be in for it.
Women need to be in control of their homes and they shouldn't be caught wrestling for its control with their MOther-in-laws.

Guitarlife: I understand bro . But then these things happen. What I wrote up there is a true life story o. And I happen to see it far too often. Its not as uncommon as you are making it seem. I have had to school grown men on the fact that as a married man, your mother remains a visitor in your home.
You may not tell her this but a man still has to make his mom understand this fact one way ot the other, otherwise the wife might just be in for it.
Women need to be in control of their homes and they shouldn't be caught wrestling for its control with their MOther-in-laws.

Your point, I understand in full and I agree in totality but you are yet to get my point.

The problem is not the mother or the "other woman".... The problem is between the Husband and Wife to resolve not a third party.

minute: That's a lousy thought . .

I have been in ALL sides of the love triangle. In my youth I dated married men/women. When we tired each other

it ended amicably. I never wanted any of them to leave their partner, and they never said they would.

People talk about catching their spouse cheating. I don't know about that. I never got caught. So, I never had to

deal with a crazy husband or an irate wife.

Would I date a married man/woman now? No. When I was done "screwing around" I was ready for a meaningful relationship.

Dating a married man/woman you don't get a meaningful relationship, you get sex and a few laughs.


If you want to know what happens behind closed doors with the other woman I will tell you. We do A LOT of active listening,

laughing at stupid jokes, and (in general) not being judgemental or critical. It seems their husbands had forgotten how to do

that. I'm sure their husbands would disagree . . .but they would be wrong.

..hmmm i admire your honesty but dating a married man AND woman?..wow no be small thing sha.