Olaalere Ayobami
Dis is funny: Yoruba mothers produce the
best range of slaps: Igbati, Ifoti, Igbaju,
Igbarun, Iforun, Ifakun , Igbadi, Abara. etc
These are types of Slaps that will make you
think you were an adopted child. IGBARUN
will make you correct your wrong doing
lesekese! The beauty of IFOTI is you will
confess your sins on the spot. ABARA will
make you confess all d crimes u committed
without hesitation. With IFAKUN, u will sweat
in cold weather. ILADI will make you pee in
your newpants! Now, IGBAJU oloyi is the
worst of all... This will make you do all of the
above at once! God bless our parents for the
good upbringing! Enjoy ur day

AKPOS LAUGH TIME!!!
Mary : How was your paper
Gloria ?
Gloria : It was kind of hard;
I didn't know
the past tense of 'think'.
I thought and thought and thought
for
along time then finally
wrote'thunk'
Mary : I guess you're right
because I wrote
thunk after I thought 4 a while.. ...
Mary : Shit! And what
about the past tense
of 'write' ?
Gloria : I dont know what I
wrote; I think I wrote 'written'
Mary : That one I didn't
even bother.
When I saw the next
number asking for
the past tense of 'go', I just went
out of
the Exam Room.
Gloria : Me too, when I
reached that
number I couldn't take it
anymore. Those idiots gave us an
exam
beyond our scope.

U guys tried, bt 228 views 1 comments abeg na curse?

An igbo man, yoruban man nd hausa man
went 2 d burial of dia dead friend. As d
culture of d dead person, his
cloths,money,nd oda valuables wit d
donations made wil b buryed wit him as dey
believe dat dis money nd oda valuables wil
help him start a new life in d land of d
unknown. So it was tym 4 d donation nd d
yoruba man was d 1st,he went 2 d grave nd
said my frnd take dis #200.000 nd start a
gud lyf ova dia.
D hausa man went 2 d grave nd say. My gud
frnd is hard 2 lose u but take dis #100.000
nd start a gud lyf ova dia.
D igbo man went 2 d grave nd say my 1 nd
only frnd is hard 2 believe u ar gone
but......He brought out a cheque nd say because
d joruney u ar embarkin is a tough 1, arm
rubbers may attack u on ur way nd collect ur
moni dats y i brought u dis cheque of
#500.000 but am givin u #200.000. He drop
d cheque nd took d change of #300.000. He
said pls frnd withdraw d cash wen u reach d
land of d unknown. I wil miss u. Lol

A pastor added me on facebook and I
innocently accepted.
Two minute later his message came in
Pastor: how are you?
Me: am fine my daddy.
Pastor:May the building of heavenly favour
collapse on ur head
Me: (no reply)
Pastor: may the thunder of blessing strike
you and ur family
Me: (no reply)
Pastor: are you there?
Me: yes my daddy
Pastor: you shud be sayin amen to claim d
blessings
Me: ok, may over speeding trailer of
blessings jam/crush you and ur family like a
movin train, faster than the speed of light in
jesus name
Pastor: Holyghost thunder fire you.

If KUKERE were to be Nigeria Anthem, as a
student will you miss assembly?

Akpos and ROSE went to commit suicide on
top of a 10 storey building so that God can
officiate their wedding in heaven. Their plan
was to jump off the building at the same time
at the count of three. So, After the count,
Akpos jumped off but ROSE didn't jump. ROSE
looked back and said: Love is blind but am
not blind. She then walked away As Akpos got
to the air, He opened his parachute and said:
Though, I'm madly in love, But am not mad to
die for "LOVE".
Now the Question is, who cheated between
the two?
A) Akpos
B> Rose
C) Both
D) None

¤Good Afternoon¤
An aboki mallam was
enjoying the sun at the
beach in Lekki when a
Lady girl came and
asked him, "Are u
relaxing?"
Musa replied; "No, I am
Musa".
A man came and asked
him the same question.
Musa replied, "No!
No! ..Me Musa!".
Later on a Little Girl
came and asked him
same question again.
Musa became angry and
decided
to move away.
While walking, he saw a
guy sunbathing.
He went up to him and
asked," Are you
Relaxing?" The guy
replied;
"Yes, I am relaxing."
Musa gave him a hot
slap on his face and
screamed; "foolish
man ,Is it not you
everybody is looking
for?"

Annoying Question Females Ask And
answersthey get from Men...1]. Are U a player?
- Yes CHELSEA FC wants tosign me next
season* do they expect U 2 sayyes?2]. why do
U wan't my Pin??- want to use it to burst
balloon.3]. Can U die 4 me?- My name is surely
not Romeo4]. My Bis will soon expire, what
am i going todo?- Return the BB to the seller
and get a Nokia33105]. If I sleep over in your
Place, hope Nothingfunny will happen?- No,
trust me we would just perform night vigil6].
Hope U won't break my Heart?- If u don't put
it at the edge of the table...7]. Can U take me
out?- sorry are U in prison?8]. Pls come and
pick me..- like say she be beans.9]. I think i've
missed my period..- then ask the class captain
for the next class!!!10.] Can't you get a Car?-
Did your father have a car when he was
incollege?

Am tired of this....
Very soon,MTN, GLO and other
networks will start making money
off ASUU Strike.
You'll see stuff
like:To get all news on ASUU
Strike, text ASUU to 38343.Costs
N100 per week.
Predict when
ASUU will call off strike and stand
a chance to be a winner in the
MTN PREDICT AND WIN PROMO. Text
ur predictions to 38323. N100 per
SMS.
Download the new ASUU
Callertune and get your callers
grooving.
Text ASUU to 4100. N50
monthly.

AKPOS LAUGH TIME!!!
A Lady Lawyer holds
Akpos dick out as
Evidence saying "ur
Honor can tis tiny tin
Rape"?..Akpos;
*whispers* Don't
shake it, we may
lose d case.
A Doctor was giving
a Speech on Alcohol..
DOC: People, you
know Alcohol kills
slowly...
Akpos: Who told you
we are in a hurry?
Teacher: Does
anyone else ve a
question about the 9
planets.
Akpos: Yes, Where is
urANUS...
Question: Whats the
biggest thing u can
do for our Love?..
EKAETTE: I would die
for u, wat about u?..
Akpor: I ll cry when
you Die.
Police: Sir, This is Non
Smoking Zone...
Akpos: Ah! am not
smoking 'Zone', its
'Marijuana' that is
how you people lie
on someone.
Teacher: What do
you call a Pot of
Watery Egusi Soup?..
Akpors: Watermelon
Sule : Bros y u dey
wrap ur phone wit
black handkerchief?
Akpors: Rukewe dey
owe me money so I
dey hide my number
before I call am
Teacher: Akpors
finish this sentence..
'Many are called
but .........?.. Akpors:
But only few have
credit to call back.
Akpors: 2,3,4,6,7,8,9..
TEACHER: Where is 5?.
Akpors: Yesterday, I
heard on the News
tat 5 died in a Car
Accident.
Police: Ur wife had
an accident, plz
come & identify d
body..
Akpors: I'm busy,
take a pix & tag me
on FACEBOOK, If it's
her I ll click 'LIKE'
Police: Where do u
live?.
Akpors: Wit my
Parents.
Police: Where do
they live?.
Akpors: Wit me.
Police: So where do u
all live?.
Akpors: 2geda
Teacher: Who are the
IDIOTS talking oya
stand up, Only
Akpors Stood up..
Teacher: So u are the
Idiot?..
Akpors: No Ma, I Just
can't bear u Standing
up alone.
Papa Akpors: How did
your Exam go?..
Akpors: They gave
me questions that I
don't know so I
wrote answers
which they won't
know
Teacher: If have 15
Sweets & I licked 12,
what do I have left?..
Akpors : Diabetes Ma
Akpors: Went to the
hospital to complain
Doc i play Football in
my Dream every
Nite..
Doc: Take tis Tablet,
U ll be ok..
Akpors: Can I take it
tomorrow, cos tonite
is the Final Game
Presenter: Mr Akpors,
what advice do you
have for your Fans in
2013.. Akpors : If Two
Wrongs don't make a
Right, try Three
Teacher : Name the
types of wood we
have..
Akpors: Fire-wood,
Nolly-wood, Bolly-
wood and Holly-
wood
Madam; Hope Junior
has Eaten?..
Akpors: Yes Ma, I
even added small
Dettol inside his
drinking water to kill
the germs... Cos "if I
don't take care of
him who will"
Madam: Fainted...
Teacher: Why do you
always see lightning
first and hear the
thunder later?..
Akpors : Because your
eyes are in front of
your ears

*A blue whale's penis on average is 8 feet
long.. Taller than an adult human
*Mosquitoes have killed more humans than all
the wars in history
*"Laser" is an acronym for Light Amplification
by Stimulated Emission of Radiation
*It can take as long as 1 hr, 30 mins to hard-
boil an ostrich egg
*70% of people suffer from allodoxaphobia,
the fear of annoying others
*Camel bites can cause the human bone to
dissolve..
*Hexakosioihexe kontahexaphobia -Fear of
the mystic number 666..
*Colgate had difficulty marketing toothpaste
in Spanish speaking countries, where
"Colgate" roughly translates to "Go hang
yourself."
*Bob Marley was the father of 3 children born
to 3 different women in just one month..
*Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook,
is red-green colorblind, meaning that the best
color he can see is blue, that is why facebook
is blue..