This is purely fiction. It is also spontaenous. It might never be finished.


This is the story of a man who found reality.



__________________________________
I held up the baby in my arms. I couldn't remember it's mothers face. I smiled. I looked at its face. It suddenly became the contorted face of a demon(or monster, demon is a better term...I think)
I woke up. Completely alert.
The air seemed thick. It seemed alive. I felted choked. I was 'oddly' not afraid. I suddenly felt bold. Once the boldness came in full force, the apparition vanished.
Sleep paralysis? I thought
I still didn't feel any fear, so I just went back to sleep.

I woke up two hours later, had a shower, brushed my teeth, ate, went to work.

At work, I had a few consultations, one of them was a child who had leukemia and tetralogy of fallot(boot shaped heart). The worst kind. His whole thoracic cavity was deformed. I wondered how he'd lived this long. He was 9 years old. I told his mother there was nothing medicine could do to save her child. I told her to always be ready for his death.
"Its a wonder he's lived this long" I said.
She began to cry.
As I saw this mother crying, I suddenly felt helpless and afraid...and overcome with grief. DEATH. Pain. Suffering. Death. Too much of it in this world I thought. I almost started tearing up.
This is unusual.

I was a trained professional. I normally didn't give in to emotion while I was working.
His mother suddenly wiped her tears.
"God can heal him. I believe Jesus can heal him" she said.
This got me angry.
I managed to restrain myself

She looked at me long, then she wheeled her son out of the room. I admired her calmness and resolve, but I laughed at her stupidity.
"There is no god" I thought

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

I was on ward rounds. I saw lilian for the first time on ward rounds. She was 7 years old. She was born with a premature heart. She was abandoned and taken up by foster parents who didn't have enough love to tenderly care for her. They dumped her in the hospital. I found her. I took a longing to this small girl with a wide vocabulary and bright eyes. This girl was doomed to die. Yes. I found myself loving this little girl the next few weeks. I'd stay hours after work just talking with her. I cried at home when I realized she was gonna die soon. I cried. I would have adopted the girl if she had a chance of living. And I was strenghtened in my stance. There was no god.

Today as I reached lily's( I liked to call her lily.) bed, I saw she was asleep.
I'll talk with her after wardrounds

Hmm, following.

princesa: Hmm, following.

thank you.

princesa: Hmm, following.

Na mi

Joshthefirst:

following! Kapish

HumbledbYGrace: following! Kapish

Kapishe!
Let's shake on it
*spits on hand, offers handshake*

Joshthefirst:
Kapishe!
Let's shake on it
*spits on hand, offers handshake*

*takes out a latex glove, put it on, shake his hand*

Please finish. Don't keep us waiting for too long

soil_sista: Please finish. Don't keep us waiting for too long

ok ma'am
I'll try to post an update soon
Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for long.

You got me interested, so you have to finish it.

Two hours later, I sat next to lilly's bed
"Hello lily" I said tenderly
"Hi Mr. Smith"
"How're we doing today?"

I had to lean down and speak right into her ear for her to hear me. Her voice was becoming more slurred. Sometimes, when lily was having a bout of pain and depression, she didn't speak, didn't move. It became too much of an effort for her. She just lay still and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm fine Mr. Smith"
"Can I get you anything?"
"No".

I studied her tenderly. Mr heart ached. Why should she go through so much suffering?

"Am I gonna die Mr. Smith"?

Her question shocked me...shook my very being. I couldn't break down right in front of her.

"Yes lily" The words were choked
"How does it feel to be dead"?
.......

I stroked her hair tenderly. I didn't know what to say. What would I say to a little girl who has known nothing but pain since she was born?

"Thank you for staying with me" she said
"Hey, don't thank me kiddo, I love staying with you"

She slowly turned her head and managed a smile, then she closed her eyes, and the heart rate monitor began to give the emergency beep.
I was dazed...I stood aside as the nurses and the doctor on duty raced to the bed with a defibrillator.

"She's gone into cardiac arrest"!
"Charge it"!
"Okay, clear"!

They shot charges through her heart. I watched as they did it three times, tears flowing. The third time, she revived. They stabilized her, and I just went to her thin body and hugged her.

"I love you lily"

I remembered doing this. Four years ago. I hugged the body of my son as he lay in the hospital in coma.
His mother had died instantly some hours before, in a terrible road accident.

Two days later, he died...

Haba, Josh! What's this na?

ARareGem: Haba, Josh! What's this na?

it's how the story is ma'am. Sorry.
Don't worry, things will get better later

am already emotional this evening, dont need more

Lily musn't die. I don't like sad stories

soil_sista: Lily musn't die. I don't like sad stories

from the way things are, only miracle can save her, her case is beyond medical intervention.

*following*... Very slow updates pisses me off though.

chistar01: from the way things are, only miracle can save her, her case is beyond medical intervention.

*following*... Very slow updates pisses me off though.

take it easy oga. The story has to incubate, or you won't accept it

chistar01: from the way things are, only miracle can save her, her case is beyond medical intervention.

*following*... Very slow updates pisses me off though.

Oga Josh!!! You better not kill her ooo

"She's stable" Dr Anderdon said
Jolting me back to reality.
I looked at lily's peaceful face. This little girl has known suffering.
My thoughts strayed back to four years ago. I had a wife, and a son. They were both taken by the cold and harsh hands of death.
It was a saturday morning.
I was on call. I had an argument with my wife the night before. She had started going to church again and was nagging me with her lessons.

"Leave me alone"! I had said.
She did. She left me forever. Our son went with her.

She was driving him to a birthday party of his friend. The car collided with a truck. Knocked them clear off the road. She had died instantly. My son died later in my hands.
Things had gone on a downward spiral since then. Grief turned to anger. Anger turned to depression. I was wallowing in depression and fear and grief.
I remember coming home one time and crying for two hours in the toilet.
My son, my son, my wife, why, why, why?!

Death has a way of waking one up to reality, or making one sink further in his false perspectives.
I sunk further. I lost hope in everything, in everyone.

Until lily came.
This girl, destined to die, aroused something in me I had done my best trying to bury for four years. hope, real and very active.
But what was I hoping for? the impossible.
Yes. Impossible for science.
Miracles happen don't they?
No. They don't.
If they happened, I wouldn't have lost Claire and David.

Back and forth, the conversation I was having always ended with my current stance. There's no God or miracles.
This continued until I met Man.
Yes, Man. That's what he called himself.

Joshthefirst: it's how the story is ma'am. Sorry.
Don't worry, things will get better later

I was sad 'cause of the shortness of your update. Lol.
And I would love for this story to be real. You know, a sad ending would give a twist. Buh it's your story.
If wishes were horses, Josh would give entertaining longer updates.

Why does this story sound/looks so familiar to me, as if I had seen/read it before?
Bro, dont know u write, definitely following.
More ink to ur pen!

^^Thank you sir.

dare i ask that this story is not fictional?

princesa: dare i ask that this story is not fictional?

don't you dare ma'am.

thy wish is my command

Mr smith is far too unstable.The guy own worse.
*Following*

Oga ade, oya now, whr's d rest?
Dnt kip me waitin ooo

I deycome abeg. Hopefully this evening.

Starts sweeping cobwebs from the thread.

Sorry for not updating for so long guys. Though I would like to give a better excuse, its just sheer laziness.
I promise to give an update before the end of the week

ARareGem: Starts sweeping cobwebs from the thread.

lol. Your signature has convicted and crucified me.