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Quickies! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Quickies / 7 QUICKIES (2) (3) (4)

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Quickies! by syren: 10:31am On Jul 02, 2008
Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count ALOUD the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go
back and count them again. See below,

ANSWER:

There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three
of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you
can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. 
There is no catch.  Many people forget the "OF"'s.  The human brain tends
to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh?  It fools almost
everybody.  cool
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:32am On Jul 02, 2008
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain
and the top is down!
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:33am On Jul 02, 2008
A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds
and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting
into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

"Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech.
At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I was 8, you hit me
with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups
don't really f***, I'll have nothing left to live for."
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:38am On Jul 02, 2008
This guy goes to a super market and goes to isle 12 and asks for a box of condoms.

The lady askes "what size" and the guy says "I don't know" so the lady askes him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few times and says "you need a box of x-large condoms".

So this guy hears behind him and he asks for a box of condom's, and the lady says "what size" and the guy says I don't know.

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few time and says "get a box of medium condoms"

So this teenager in isle 11 hears and wants some of the action.

So he goes to isle 12 and asks "can I have a box of condoms"

The lady asks "what size" and the teenage says "I don't know"

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants .

When he does, the lady tugs a few times, stands up and announces "Clean up in isle 12"
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:46am On Jul 02, 2008
Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:50am On Jul 02, 2008
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:55am On Jul 02, 2008
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!

Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:56am On Jul 02, 2008
Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!

Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Re: Quickies! by syren: 10:56am On Jul 02, 2008
Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!

Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!
Re: Quickies! by syren: 11:14am On Jul 02, 2008
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Re: Quickies! by syren: 11:40am On Jul 02, 2008
Naughty wink

Re: Quickies! by Cayon(f): 11:42am On Jul 02, 2008
Thanks for the morning laugh grin grin grin
Re: Quickies! by olulu(m): 12:11pm On Jul 02, 2008
nice one girl


grin grin grin grin grin


ur mama is so sexy, even d blind bats run after her

grin grin grin

just in d spirit of mamas grin grin
Re: Quickies! by clemcykul(f): 12:22pm On Jul 02, 2008
hugs poster, and lavishes her wit kisses kiss kiss thanks daylyn 4 making ma dai kiss wink
Re: Quickies! by syren: 12:40pm On Jul 02, 2008
you all are welcome grin
Re: Quickies! by Nella(f): 2:26pm On Jul 02, 2008
Nice ones! I like em Quickies,

grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Quickies! by princesa(f): 3:13pm On Jul 02, 2008
whateva
Re: Quickies! by Amanijuls: 4:40pm On Jul 02, 2008
girl, u are the bomb!
Re: Quickies! by clemcykul(f): 4:43pm On Jul 02, 2008
welcome aboard.

but who da hell are u?
Re: Quickies! by Jeovy(m): 4:54pm On Jul 02, 2008
Nice collections,keep it up girl

Clems,he is a bomb constructor
Re: Quickies! by clemcykul(f): 5:28pm On Jul 02, 2008
no am a bla bla bla constructor and organiser
Re: Quickies! by tufe(m): 5:33pm On Jul 02, 2008
who wants to have a quikee??
Re: Quickies! by ituen(m): 11:19pm On Jul 02, 2008
nice one poster
Re: Quickies! by Katigurl: 11:23pm On Jul 02, 2008
syren:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”



grin grin grin grin grin grin loooooooooooooooool!!
Re: Quickies! by mohawkchic(f): 12:34pm On Jul 03, 2008
~I Most Certainly Enjoyed These Quickies grin~
Re: Quickies! by benjay1(m): 12:42pm On Jul 03, 2008
Everyone has spoken, now i no know wetin i go talk again.
cry
Re: Quickies! by Jeovy(m): 2:45pm On Jul 03, 2008
wetin you come dey do here?
Re: Quickies! by benjay1(m): 2:51pm On Jul 03, 2008
Looking for my beer
Re: Quickies! by clemcykul(f): 2:58pm On Jul 03, 2008
check ur boxers
Re: Quickies! by benjay1(m): 3:04pm On Jul 03, 2008
OK found it grin
Re: Quickies! by Nella(f): 3:47pm On Jul 03, 2008
lmao, wht a conversation u three just had there! lol,

@ poster,

need I say good job again?  tongue
Re: Quickies! by benjay1(m): 4:13pm On Jul 03, 2008
@Nella No don't. grin

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