Here are the stories making headlines in Nigerian newspapers this week.

1. Nigeria in deep financial crisis, says Gov. Adam Oshiomhole. E be like say this man wants Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala to fire him. You don’t say anything bad about the economy without pissing Ngozi up.

2. 64 million Nigerians are mentally ill, says Tribune. And the rest are on the sideline playing the gong for them.

4. Onitsha deportees slam N1 bn suit against Lagos state. I hate to be a party popper but I guess these deportees have been away from Lagos for too long. That money is not enough for a night at the tallest hotel in Lagos.

5. UCH performs first open heart surgery. Do you know what the surgeons found? The Nigerian heart is not so smart.

6. For 1 million pounds sterling, UK to send back 537 Nigerian prisoners. Just when you think that Mr. Dilly is making waves in Lagos, wait until the Londoners return.

7. EFCC broke, Can’t pay lawyers. I guess that’s why Al Mustapha wants to do the job for free.

8. Call off strike, Sultan begs ASUU, Doctors. Sultan, what happened, men! In the olden days, presidents beg the Sultan. Now the Sultan begs. What happened?

9. Senate President, Speaker, reject N3 bn official house. Can they donate it to Majek Fashek and the Onitsha deportees?

10. 17 fake Corpers arrested. Did you hear that, Amaka? So, Amaka, stop complaining that the allawi is not enough.

11. New Abuja city gate to gulp N64bn. Prophet T. B. Joshua says that even the gate to heaven was not that expensive.

12. "I would love to have Genevieve as my wife," says D'Banj. Eayeah! I guess when everything else fails, you proposal via the new media.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fUUB98wA8c