According to a new study
published in The New England Journal Of
Medicine this week, human beings were
never meant to wake up after falling asleep,
but were rather supposed to remain in a
deep, peaceful slumber until eventually
expiring. “Our research team of
evolutionary biologists conducted an
extensive and thorough examination of
human physiology, past and present, and
determined that human beings were, in
their ideal state, supposed to be born,
spend a solid 12 hours awake as an infant,
and then lie down for a tranquil, dream-
filled sleep from which they would then not
awaken,” lead researcher Dennis Zeveloff
said of the findings, which also suggest
that life for early man was not supposed to
last longer than one day. “Eventually, after
spending three or four weeks lying
comfortably in bed, humans were meant to
just slide directly into death. In fact, the truly
optimal state toward which human
evolution aspired was for all individuals to
succumb to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
almost instantly after exiting the womb.”
The study concluded that, based on these
findings, coma patients should be
considered among the most highly evolved
humans on the planet.
[url]www.theonion.com/articles/new-study-finds-human-beings-were-never-meant-to-w,34288/?ref=auto[/url]
www.news.nom.co/new-study-finds-human-beings-were-never-6688702-news/

The scientists that came out with this research should be jailed. If we are suppose to sleep to death, how would they do this silly reseach..? If we are to sleep to death, when would female have sex talkless of getting pregnant. Abeg make I sleep small, and if I fail to wake up, U are in soup...!

What about others(animal)

Hian!! These scientists may be from unilag

Used to think like this. 4 also think that each time we wake up, we were disturbed my sumting or sombody

Those that do not know the onion.com and their funny antics won't believe this is just a satire. Lol, how cld human never meant to wake up after falling asleep.

Chk this out too about nigeria by theonion.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwom49awRKg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPwom49awRKg&sa=X&ei=I0RnUsH4Ksi00QXuw4HgDA&ved=0CAsQqwQ

Chanchit: The scientists that came out with this research should be jailed. If we are suppose to sleep to death, how would they do this silly reseach..? If we are to sleep to death, when would female have sex talkless of getting pregnant. Abeg make I sleep small, and if I fail to wake up, U are in soup...!

what's this foolishh man saying