My friend is one of the big babes when we were in the university. My people, she had a nice time, really enjoyed herself. Plenty nite outs with Lecturers and big daddies. She got married to a young chap whom she met during NYSC shortly after service. Now three years down the line, there is no issue. My friend confided in me that she did series of abortion during school days, she did not tell her hubby either before or after their wedding. They have spent fortune on medical expenses, tests etc. In the result of the last test carried out in June 2013, the doctor wrote "bilateral tubal blockage/ linear damage, several signs of instrumentation noticed". It was at this time that my friend confessed to have done 4 abortions in the past to her hubby. The last one I suspect was done by a quatck. She said her hubby became unusually cold and quiet at home since then. On October 3, she saw her husband packing certificates, books and suits in the morning, that was the last time she saw him. We made frantic efforts to know his whereabout to no avail, the guy's family did not help matter, they remain mute. It was the police DPO of their area whom the issue was reported to who now informed us that the family of the hubby has confided in him that the guy actually jetted out to Canada for post graduate, that was after 4 days of high blood pressure for my friend. What a bad family! My friend is very sad, no communication with her husband, her e-mails were not replied. I blamed her for being deceitful, but what can she do now? Isn't tubal blockage solvable medically?

What can she do?

Go to canada herself. Wait it out.

Ask for forgiveness of sin, try reaching out to the guy n if it doesn't work out after a while, she needs to move on! She can try out assisted reproduction and simply tell her new man she has tubal blockage, who knows if he will love her enough to look for solution with her! Adoption is also an option.

I usually don't reply to such threads but ur statement at the end forced me.
"What a bad family"

So now you are taking sides with her becase she is your friend even after all the things you listed above she did?
Was the family and husband cold to her when they didnot know about her past? No! From what I can tell, he was loving and willing to look for solution to the problem before he found out.


Do yourself a favor, read your post again, when you fully understand what you wrote, edit it and remove that statemt at the end.

I think this is a typical situation of "show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are"

Capt. JH Miller:
I usually don't reply to such threads but ur statement at the end forced me.
"What a bad family"

So now you are taking sides with her becase she is your friend even after all the things you listed above she did?
Was the family and husband cold to her when they didnot know about her past? No! From what I can tell, he was loving and willing to look for solution to the problem before he found out.


Do yourself a favor, read your post again, when you fully understand what you wrote, edit it and remove that statemt at the end.

I think this is a typical situation of "show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are"

I must have written that because of how I feel for my friend, my brother, marriage is for better for worse, this situation is solvable now, please, help the situation, give an advise please, the deed has been done. Nevertheless, I still maintained that the attitude of the family is bad, I expect something better from them, Cheers!

Personally, i think the man abandoned the wife because he felt she fooled him. If the wife had confided in him before hand, maybe the man would have decide to stand by her to fight the battl to the last, now she fooled the man into marrying her knowing fully well that she has a shady past and after all she did with her life while in school and you said the man shouldnt run away.
The mistake many people make in marriage is that, they are always afraid that the potential spouse will leave them if they open up, forgetting that, the person who really loved you will stay regardless of the lifestyle one must have lived, afterall, everyone has a past.
Now, shes paying the price of not being open to the man, and i wouldnt totally blame the man for running away.
Therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to live with it, its the price she has to pay for not being open to him and for her past lifestyle.
May God her and all of us.

In addition, let me be honest with you, that man may never come back , especially when the family of the man is already aware of what is happening and it seems they are all in support of what his actions and inactions, therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to move forward with her life, but not repeat the previous mistake in her subsequent relationship, the man that really love her will stand by her and help in finding solution to her problem medically, and can even suggest to her for them to go for adoption, if the problem seems incurable or beyond remedy.
Wishing her goodluck.

greatgod2012: In addition, let me be honest with you, that man may never come back , especially when the family of the man is already aware of what is happening and it seems they are all in support of what his actions and inactions, therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to move forward with her life, but not repeat the previous mistake in her subsequent relationship, the man that really love her will stand by her and help in finding solution to her problem medically, and can even suggest to her for them to go for adoption, if the problem seems incurable or beyond remedy.
Wishing her goodluck.

God bless you my sister, its not me, its my friend, I have become her adviser all of a sudden, we weren't so close back then in school, she works in the same office with my mother-in-law before her (my mother-in-law) retirement last march, that's how we got so close. I believe this time shall pass and she will learn her lessons and rise up again.

The words are true '"There's nothing hidden that will not be exposed, nothing covered that will not be revealed ..."

Whatever a man sows, he reaps in multiple fold.


What else can be said to your friend but to keep praying peradventure her husband can change his mind.

Why did she hide info as this from him. It is well with her

madamshepopo
Your name funny ooo






Well, your friend can rise up again

I strongly believe the husband will come back..

We are all saying that she should have told her husband! but tell her husband what? That she was a runs girl in uni? What percentage of girls will ever confess to this kind of story without then being in a tight corner/caught out? Even if they are caught, they will lie and massage the truth . . . .Realistically How many?

How many guys will confess to their future wife, how many abortions that ex girlfriends had for them over the years?

We also dont know if the girl knew that one of her 4 abortions has caused her infertility until when she started TTC. Meanwhile the people she sold her body to are probably grandfathers now and she is here husband-less and childless. Girls all over the place are Selling and giving their bodies in exchange for plates of fried rice and horse hair. . . .If only people took time to think of the long term effects of their actions.

This girl was unlucky . . . there are thousands of girls/guys out there who have done unspeakable things that they dare not confess to their partners and their partners are none the wiser. This life. . some people do things and get away with it and some people do the same thing and pay a very high price

@poster, sorry but your friends cup has overflowed. I doubt her hubby is going to come back and now that the family is involved it even seems more unlikely. She is just going to accept that. Not much she can do than to pick herself up and learn from her mistakes and move on with life.

Good lesson to any girl out there reading this who thinks that she is on top of the world now and is untouchable. One day will be one day and she too can be in the posters friends situation. A word is enough for the wise.

As per you saying the family is a bad family . . .if God forbid, the husband was your brother, what would you say?

@OP, I would not judge your friend because everybody has a past (including me), but where I fault your friend is that when she knew all she did iin the past, before marrying her hubby, she should have gone for medical check-up.

Anyway, the deed has been done, i would only advice her to move on with her life and stop crying over spilled milk.

So PHOCKING WAAAAT?

I am OLIVIA POPE!
Let's fix this!

Tell your friend to GET A LIFE! Her husband is having one!

1. She is weak. The past is the past and can never be undone.
2. Next time tell her to LEARN how to pick a REEEEAL man that loves HER for HER! Not a BOY!!!!
3. Never let ANYTHING/ANYONE get in the way of your happiness. Man, woman, child or HOLY GHOST!
4. Most importantly! She needs to love herself and LEARN TO FORGIVE herself if she feels so ashamed of her past. I will do no such thing if I were in her shoes!

Period!!!!

Let the MAN GO! She needs to GET A LIFE! As A TYPICAL MGBEKE-ALATIKA-NIGERIAN-WOMAN. . .. . . . . . . SHE AIN'T GAT NONE!!!

May she DIE from stroke too! AMEN!!!

OLIVIA POPE HAS SPOKEN!!!

madamshepopo: My friend is one of the big babes when we were in the university. My people, she had a nice time, really enjoyed herself. Plenty nite outs with Lecturers and big daddies. She got married to a young chap whom she met during NYSC shortly after service. Now three years down the line, there is no issue. My friend confided in me that she did series of abortion during school days, she did not tell her hubby either before or after their wedding. They have spent fortune on medical expenses, tests etc. In the result of the last test carried out in June 2013, the doctor wrote "bilateral tubal blockage/ linear damage, several signs of instrumentation noticed". It was at this time that my friend confessed to have done 4 abortions in the past to her hubby. The last one I suspect was done by a quatck. She said her hubby became unusually cold and quiet at home since then. On October 3, she saw her husband packing certificates, books and suits in the morning, that was the last time she saw him. We made frantic efforts to know his whereabout to no avail, the guy's family did not help matter, they remain mute. It was the police DPO of their area whom the issue was reported to who now informed us that the family of the hubby has confided in him that the guy actually jetted out to Canada for post graduate, that was after 4 days of high blood pressure for my friend. What a bad family! My friend is very sad, no communication with her husband, her e-mails were not replied. I blamed her for being deceitful, but what can she do now? Isn't tubal blockage solvable medically?

For a Nigerian woman with a history like that (your friend's), living in Nigeria...what can one say? Honestly?

Nothing, except her own don finish be that. Harsh but true. Why?

People back home talk. Her 'secret' is no longer a secret but an open-secret. Everyone now knows your soon-to-be-divorced friend was married and, it won't take much digging to find out why the sham of a marriage hit the rocks.

Let's face it - any one who's in a serious relationship hoping it will lead to marriage is bound to do their due diligence / checks and balances on their prospective partner. Can she hide the fact that she's been married? Can she stop her soon-to-be ex-husband's family from talking? We all know that they're p!$$ed at her and rightly so, as they feel she not only played their son for a f00l but them also.

It's interesting to see how the once-upon-a-time gra-gra girl has mellowed down so much, that she actually feels 'sad' that her husband's walked out on her. But to call her in-laws wicked? For feeling slighted at her deceit? Abeg, she needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Heaven forbid, but as a mother, if any of my sons were to wed such a deceitful animal, I too would encourage them to ditch her, save themselves unnecessary stress, and get a cleaner girl for a wife.

Anyway, modern science has advanced in leaps and bounds. Having been a runz girl, she must have made a lot of money from her ventures, so she should channel some of it towards fixing herself. A woman (such as your friend) without a functional womb is an empty egg shell. (No disrespect intended to those who were born with medical defects affecting theirs, or who did nothing of this sort that resulted in a similar situation. My angst here is with @OP's friend and their ilk out there, deceiving innocent young men.)

Aside that, she should move on with her life. Shebi she went to uni and is a graduate? Assuming she really did 'study', she should use her 'education' to make something of her life. A woman's life doesn't begin and end with a man. With any luck, once she's established herself in her own right, if she's still desperate for a man to live her life with, she should consider a man with fertility issues of his own, so that they as a couple can adopt. If surrogacy is an option for her (i.e: Someone willing to carry her fertilized egg in their womb), then good on her.

*** Having said that, I really would love to read TV01's take on this, seeing as he's a firm advocate for upholding the sanctity of marriage, irrespective of the situation at hand. Where is he anyway?***

Whether you have a womb or not, anyone who will divorce or abandon their marriage will, enough of the tales by moonlight.

I dont know what some are feeling funky about, eternal gossips.