Six Valuable life lessons

Lesson 1 : Unclad Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The
wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word,
Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After
thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands Unclad in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her
husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,”
shereplies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say
anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll
give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!”
says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the
sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach
with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK,
you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager
says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father,
remember Matt 7:7?” The priest removed his hand.
But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Matt
7:7?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh
is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
look up Matt 7:7. It said, “Ask, and it shall be given
unto you. . . ”

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job,you might miss
a great opportunity.

Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So,
the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested.
…A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, youmust be sitting very
high up.

Lesson 5:
Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey,
but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you
nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re
packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it gave him enough strength to
reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the
tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you
there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so
cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large
field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there
in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm
he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the
bird under the pile of cowdung, and promptly dug him
out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of poo is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep poo, it’s best to keep your
mouth shut !

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