Hello y'all. It's with gleeful heart that i've decided to write this short story, It's a reflection of true life experience as it actually happened to me few days ago. I've followed several stories on this section and i thought of trying something myself. Just for the record, i'm the same person as "sкчscrαρεr™." Big ups to Chistar, theROCK and Yettocome, these guys have inspired me in priceless ways. Do have a nice reading pleasure.

DAY: 3-11-13
LOCATION: BENIN CITY

06:13am
It was a lovely sunday morning, unlike other days, i was feeling abysmally ecstatic, i guessed it was because i was finally going to church after five weeks of being at home. so i thought.

Truth is, i was also planning not to go to church that day should my excuse scale me through. I had earlier told my dad that i can only go to church if PHCH brings power so i'll be able to iron my clothes which i knew they wouldn't. Not long after i made that statement the whole sitting-room became illuminated, i looked up to see the lightbulb glowing. It only meant one thing, PHCN just performed the eight wonder on earth after days of total blackout.

I became elated as i thrust my fist into the air like a football player celebrating his goal. Little did i know that i was in a psyche of dilemma, i totally forgo that i earlier made a promise to go to church if there was light. Just then my dad uttered those words i dreaded most.

"oya go iron your clothes make we dey go the church together." he commanded.

"ok, sir" i replied but not after wearing a grimace look.

I swiftly went into my room to plug my phone to the socket to enable it charge whilst i dashed to the shower. Thirty minutes later i got out of the bathroom (don't ask me what i was doing, lol), I did the needful and in another fifteen minutes time we all bundled into the car and zoomed off to church.

09:45am
We got to church and alighted from the car. I was suprised to see that the church population had multiplied by two. I was oblivious that it was thanksgiving day.

Unlike my Fellowship in school, i hated going to church at home because the building was a store-like apartment which could only harbour about fifteen people on a normal day but there was i seeing over thirty persons, where they came from is still a mystery to me. The church also boasted of having the most number of older generations and void of babes. *winks* No thanks to ASUU. i guess now you know why i hated going to church.

The boring service went on as usual and i couldn't wait for the preacher man to drop the microphone because prior to that moment i had alreay booked a date meeting with a chick i somehow knew back in secondary school. Albeit we were not close. Her name is loveth. I mistakenly bumped into her one faithful evening and we exchanged numbers. Throughout the service i was fantasizing how i was going to caress and serenade loveth while paying deaf ears to all the pastor was preaching. All my hope was meeting my bait.

After what seemed like eternity the service finally came to a halt, i was feeling high like skyscraper as my father began driving back home.


01:34pm
We got home and not long after i bodly walked into the sitting-room than loveth's call came to my phone. Or so i thought.

Immediately i answered the phone she hung up, (damn, girls and their wahala, dem no dey ever call, dis their new tactics of flashing na to buzz your phone and cut the call almost immediately after you pick am) how does this my boring speech concern my story sef?

I called her back but not after breathing a sigh of relief atleast to clear my mind from all the obscene things i had planned to do with her later that day.

"hello!" i said with my american accent.

"i'm fine" she blurted.

There was silence for a second before i decided to break it.

"will you still be available for our rendezvous today?" i asked and she replied in the affirmative.

"Alright, i'll be on my way now" i said smirking and then bounced the call myself.

The scorching sun welcome me as i stepped out of my abode, the rest of my journey was however uneventful. They say time flies and just like the speed of light i finally got to Ring Road, the Heartbeat of benin-city.

I brought out my phone from my pocket and dialled Loveth's number again, she picked it at first ring and made knowned to me that she was already at the square, the venue of our date meeting. I ended the call and made to crossed the ever busy king-square road. My lips curved into a smile as i stylishly walked into the entrance of the park, but nature had something in stock for me, what i saw shooked me. My grin literally faded into a frown and all i could say was, oh my gawd! Why me?!

*to be continued*

The place was a beehive of activities as it was stuffed to the brim with people from all works of life. I saw the most ugly creature on earth. she was short, flat-chested, dark with pimple-infested face, horrible look unkept hair and yammy legs. I bet she was no different from a village masquarede. I couldn't believe i was so myopic not to have noticed earlier.

At that moment i felt cold shiver gushed through my spine, i was ajar, i wished the ground could just open and swallow me. She was standing at a far extreme of the park, smiling sheepishly at me, admist the presence of pretty girls. My modus oparandi was in swarmed motion, i thought to swerve and walk back home disappointed. But on a second thought i decided to atleast meet her so she wouldn't feel downcasted and dejected.

I literally activated my thinking faculty and started to walk majestically towards her, just like magic, a thousand and one eyes fell on me, i was astonished, bewirled, puzzled, discombobulated, startled and vehemently petrified.

Immediately i get to her stance, i took a u-turn, then stood about 15inches away from her so people wouldn't noticed that she's with me. We got talking whilst i masturbated verbally below my voice, i was trying not to create too much attention. My plan was to take her to the extreme annex of the park where there are few people, after walking for about 114seconds we got to a spot below a broad tree and sat. I kept a grinning look on my face but deep down within me i knew all my sinister plans had gone down the drain.

Just like Michael jackson, i was speechless and dumbfounded, i didn't know what to say, Just then the unexpected happened. immediately she spook i received heavenly blessings from her odoriferous mouth. I feigned ignorance like nothing had happened, i knew i had to leave there any moment unless i wanted her bad breath to suffocate me to death.

I managed to keep a conversation with her without actually dying, but i could swear i fainted, went to heaven and came back to earth. Jeez! That girl was so dull she couldn't even speak a fluent command of english. Although i didn't took that into consideration, but i never envisage her mental capability to be sorely beneath my expectation.

All these wille i was gisting with her i was enraged that i left the comfort of my home to the outskirt of the city to meet a cretin. I had spent my hard-earned money to transport myself there and it seemed it had all become a colossal waste.

I didn't even get a chance to kiss her, not even touch her flat-less bosom. Not that she derived me from those things but even as though she had given me i'll be gladly refuse. It was already getting late so we made to leave. I accepted my fate, perhaps it was God's way a paying me back. immediately we got back to the main-entrance she said the words that made me wanted to give her a back-hand slap; she said "IS IT RIGHT FOR A GIRL TO ASK A GUY FOR MONEY?" i knew where she was driving at and without wasting time i started one of my rigmarole coupled with my americanized accent. Luckily she didn't pushed it any further, and that's how she left while i went back inside the square.

I was there for the next couple of hours surfing the internet. I cared less whether there were pretty girls around. Loveth had actually killed my vibe. At about 05:12pm i reluctantly left the square with a million things on my mind.

THE END

Space booked...n following

airclipse: Space booked...n following

thanks bruv, please kindly read it again, i've modified it.

But u said short story nah!

Ellatyra: But u said short story nah!

lol, yes it's a short story. The next update is the final update. Thanks for reading anyway.

Hello guys, i already have the concluding part of this story. I just need atleast fifteen request and i'll post it.

I comment my reserve

Hehhehhe Clemzy so na how u lazy reach, only two post u wan give us, abeg make am reach ten na, d story come dey sweet me oo.

I never knew you could write sha. Thumbs up man

soul minister: I comment my reserve

oh boy!! See my people Oooo! By the way, i'll take this as a request, fourteen more to go.

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Viewing this topic: soul minister(m), Clemzy16(m), The rock5555

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oga rock i see you Oooo! you're highly welcomed sire. incase u nor know na "sкчscrαρεr™" be this.

The rock5555: Hehhehhe Clemzy so na how u lazy reach, only two post u wan give us, abeg make am reach ten na, d story come dey sweet me oo.

I never knew you could write sha. Thumbs up man

mehn, my head wan burst Oooo! I nor knw say i fit write too, na one of my guy for facebook ask me how my paro go on sunday as i begin dey type with pidgin nai my mind say make i switch to english. Lo and behold wen i proof-read am my mouth dey agape, i no fit blv say na me write everything. i jst decide say mak i turn am to short story. I for lik post more than two updates but i dey write am as d mata happen. Hopefully in my next story i go do beta. Mata neva finish sha, una need to read the concluding part, it's very very very...

Please i need y'all request so i'll post the concluding part. Thirteen more to go. .

Following

scon-p:
Following

you're welcome bro. Please scroll-up, i've posted the concluding part.

how did you meet her to exchange contact and still didn't notice her features

how did you meet her to exchange contact and still didn't notice her features?

Blind date

scon-p:
Blind date

Not really a Blind date!

soul minister: how did you meet her to exchange contact and still didn't notice her features?

I kind of knew her back in secondary school, though we never talked one-on-one. It was over a year after high-school before i saw her again and it was in the evening, hence my inability to access her asset properly. She actually cajoled me to get my contacat cause i was feeling reluctant to give her at first. For over four months i didn't call her, one day she called me and said she wanted to be my friend, i knew it wasen't phone conversation, also, i thought she would have improved facialy and body-wise but i was WRONG! I never knew i was going to see a shepopotamus. I guess that answer your question.

Hahahahahahaha. Chai laugh don kill me 4 here. Good for u shey u wanted to caress her. U should have bleeped the 'shepopotamus' now. And u were busy claiming player in the Rock's thread. See the way u insult the babe, ugly girls don suffer.

Winnie1950: Hahahahahahaha. Chai laugh don kill me 4 here. Good for u shey u wanted to caress her. U should have bleeped the 'shepopotamus' now. And u were busy claiming player in the Rock's thread. See the way u insult the babe, ugly girls don suffer.

Toor! I no be player Ooo, i be COACh!! There is no space for any f'ugly girl in my life, i'd rather remain indoors than be caught walking with one. Although i fit manage d ones wey dey ugly facialy but gbasky for other aspect but d babe go be chop and clean mouth.

LMAO dude u don finish this babe o. But hpow u no understand her yeye english for phone. U try sha

The rock5555: LMAO dude u don finish this babe o. But hpow u no understand her yeye english for phone. U try sha

she bin dey try for phone na unto wen i begin yan with her five minutes non-stop na den i knw say her middlename na gbagaun.

See as i come dey pity d babe...... Mehn u define d babe finish oo.. Btw..no dey plane do du person somethin wen u neva first c am,.., cos u no no wetin u dey xpect to see..

Nice,keep it up

nice story

Spactacle: See as i come dey pity d babe...... Mehn u define d babe finish oo.. Btw..no dey plane do du person somethin wen u neva first c am,.., cos u no no wetin u dey xpect to see..

na true you talk oooo!!

zealril: Nice,keep it up

thanks, i noticed this is your first comment on nairaland and it happened to be on my thread.

classikelly: nice story

you're welcome.

Hmmm.. First of all, this made me laugh my arse out! I've been in your shoes once but I guess we reacted differently to the situation because as I saw "her" from a distance, I knew pictures lie and I just turned back and went straight home! To hell with online paroles . I later apologised though and restricted our "thing" to online, well that all in the past.

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Observations.
Avoid the big words where possible, it spoils the flow. Not everyone would be able to read the story and be able to fully understand it. I mean instead of "rendezvous" you could have used date or even meeting and instead of "colossal" you could have used huge, big, gigantic or whatever.
The major idea is making the story easy 4 almost everyone to read, understand and relate to (where possible).

Apart 4rm dat, I'll be looking foward to more writeups from you .

chistar01: Hmmm.. First of all, this made me laugh my arse out! I've been in your shoes once but I guess we reacted differently to the situation because as I saw "her" from a distance, I knew pictures lie and I just turned back and went straight home! To hell with online paroles . I later apologised though and restricted our "thing" to online, well that all in the past.

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Observations.
Avoid the big words where possible, it spoils the flow. Not everyone would be able to read the story and be able to fully understand it. I mean instead of "rendezvous" you could have used date or even meeting and instead of "colossal" you could have used huge, big, gigantic or whatever.
The major idea is making the story easy 4 almost everyone to read, understand and relate to (where possible).

Apart 4rm dat, I'll be looking foward to more writeups from you .

Mehn, what you did to the lady is wicked oo, if i had done same to her she prolly would have fainted and i don't want to be responsible for such; i don't think any guy in his right senses would date her because not only is she f'ugly but her dullness no get part2!

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As for the corrections they have been seen and noted.

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You don't have to wait too long for the writeups coz i'have written some. Albeit love oriented. Links below.
Etiquette for a perfect relationship

An open letter to everyone who needs love

A phone conversation between an OAP and a Money Freak