ok, thanks for all your contributions, they were worth it exempt the one by @wisdom i reject by fire in Jesus name. had to delete the post, thanks so much for your responses.

First and Foremost .... I would suggest U pray to God fervently then strike your dad psychologically like thunder without being rude ................... I tagged it ''Guilty Conscience Strategy'' ...... Here it goes ....

After praying and possibly fasting,If U are a Believer.... Approach your dad,Buy him is favourite brand,some wears and make him happy ...... After which Politely request to have a time with him with some dull faces .....

After request granted ......

Tell him how much wonderful dad he was and has been, how much you love and cherished him , how much Hero he is to you and so many things he has taught U in life which has helped your endeavors in attaining success and today U re successful due to his moral and Financial support ....... U will pray for him and appreciate him ..... Pray for him to livelong and enjoy the fruits ,amen !!!


U sabi how to do Nollywood by allowing free tears to flow from your eyes without crying ?

Just allow free tears (By conscripting your heart and pump emotion into it, Tears must come to your face within 30seconds, except u urself u be HardHearted person)


Tell him something actually baffles U with makes u to demand some explanation regarding your Life, express yourself by saying Ur father is the only role model in your Life whom u have intention to fashion your life towards but what confuses U is the way Ur dad has been approaching Life lately , the way he plans, they way he spends and U were like ....... can u also be doing the same thing but some mindset tell u it is wrong ..... Dad, what do u feel ?

Should I be this way too ? (Never stop the Nollywood tears ooo)......... Dad, I really wanna learn everything about you and pass your teachings and actions to your Grandchildren and GreatGrandchildren ............ Dad, is these actions of yours lately morally right ?


Daddy please ,teach me what I don't know (Nollywood tears dont forget, na movie we dey act here)


If Ur papa be retired paramilitary or high disciplinarian, abeg just expect anything ooo also U may wish to consult your pastor for prayers !!!


If ur papa fails to stop, Just let the oldman be jawe,Life na time ..... Just try-ur best and never leave your parents !!!

He's ur dad quite alright but let's call a spade a spade. You have a young family and many more responsibilities will begin to set in. You need to put any cash dat comes ur way into judicious and profit yielding ventures.I suggest u involve ur mum because I believe she can approach him without him reading any meaning to it. She can advice him on money management; I mean why buy a car of 3 million as a retired person when u don't have a regular cash flow channel.
Address it as doing as possible b4 it becomes an issue with ur husband because I believe he also has his parents to take care of.

thanks @Donroxy and Gamboh55. Tears doesnt move him. as for involving my mum? hmmmm, no i cant. she is even worst than Dad when it comes to money management, at least we know Dad is extravagant but for mum, we dont know how she spends her income and before month end she will be in debt. we are not really close because of the role she played when i was in school. she never buy me provisions and cloths, i buy my provisions and cloths from the pocket money Dad gives. (maybe God allow that to teach me money management lesson).

There is no other way to correct him than to stop giving him all that ash. If you have extra cash you do not need, then you can give him cash. But I would not deprive my own family to give my dad a luxurious life he really cannot afford or need. I will suggest that your forget about the one you have given him, but next time should be different. He may have a social status that he needs to keep, but you should not be the ones funding it if you cannot afford to.

If you don't know how to say No to an extravagant father,then you ll have a big problem in your hands sooner or later.

Tell him all your money is tied up in a long term project of about 5yrs. Things are tight. Shikena.

First of all, you are not in position to correct your dad...

Secondly, you are also in the position to talk to your dad...

I advice you ask him to think about the whole issue and then give you a way out and from there, you know how he thinks and what he does with his money... Lure words out of him... You can do it.

Hmm,tough one. I don't think calling him/ talking to him/ trying to correct him is a good idea. He's an old man, and i feel maybe he feels he wants to live the life he couldn't when he was younger.. If i were in your shoes, what i would do is give him 5 or 10 percent of what he asks for, whenever he asks and tell him i tried my best but it's all i could come up with.

I can feel you OP.Soo feel you.But As most posters have said do what you feel you can afford that won't affect your own family.Try to help but not at the expense of your family.I know the emotional turmoil of you feeling so bad that your own father who did soo much for you cannot afford to buy fuel.BUT this is not a truly indigent parent.One needs to take care of our elderly ones but I am now seeing its unfair to expect one's kids who have a growing family to fund a 'standard' of living one is used to.Or so 'shame' cant enter when its obvious its either that child funds this lifestyle or provide for their own children. I cant see the future but I hope I will be able to understand when I get there.

Talking from experience here dont start what you might not be able to sustain in the future.Kids get more expensive as they grow older, I dont know where you are based but Uni tuition fees keep skyrocketting by the day.A suggestion is you should probably set an allowance(might not be alot or what is expected but what you can afford) but its just symbolic say for Car maintenance, Foodstuffs,etc..Try to add it your budget as part of your duties.Except in truly dire circumstances or festive periods birthdays family engagements etc stick to it religiously.

@op!ur problem is very simple.this is what u tel him,
'dad i know u need this money but recently i dont understand my husband again ever since he loaned u that busines money he has telling me al his money is in one investmt or in a bank transaction and he cant aces it until it mature.(u wil sigh)
u wil nw continue wit award winning tearfild voice 'dad do u know i av bn the 1 taking care of the house expenses
u put cry,cry to gear 2
dad i asked to pay money for nepa,dad ordinary nepa(u do as if u want to control ur tears)
u continue 'dad what i need rit now is jst #300000 so as to balance my acct.i cant disturb u becoz of ur condition.dad where am i gona get #300k!



By the time u do this 3x.popsi neva worry again.

Xtravagant daddy.
I wonder what he will do if none of his children don't hv. Instead of him to help build his children up( forget training one in school. Its his obligation), he is milking u dry.
Ur husband is watching in 3D.
Be ready for his reaction and actions since u don't know how to call ur dad to order.
And let him not use emotional blackmail on u.
(We all lv our parents, don't we?)

yellowpawpaw: Xtravagant daddy.
I wonder what he will do if none of his children don't hv. Instead of him to help build his children up( forget training one in school. Its his obligation), he is milking u dry.
Ur husband is watching in 3D.
Be ready for his reaction and actions since u don't know how to call ur dad to order.
And let him not use emotional blackmail on u.
(We all lv our parents, don't we?)

Thank You YPP.OP this....And also the emotional blackmail bit.Dont want to go into so much details but you are even faar better than I was.Thank God for wisdom in hindsight.As o said earlier dont start what you cant finish. Your husband would end up being the victim cos it will turn to 'He does not want you to take care of me' when hundreds of thousands or even millions might no longer be forthcoming.Yours is Cars and Luxury Hotel, mine was expensive aso ebi's .

Is ur dad Olu Jacobs & u re Mercy Johnson? I bet, ur dad is getting his bone shined by Fresher bloods who re drying him. Take his matter to God or u pray dat he shud quenck untimely

Hmmmm.....

I think you should open up to him. But instead, tell him things are tight as you and your husband have some long term projects ( don't discuss them) you are working on that is taking heavy cash and as such there's not so much cash to throw around like before. Then if you can afford it, place him on a monthly stipend, a specific, fixed amount you send to his account every month. Something you can afford. Not too high not too low. But make sure your husband is in the picture.

He is your dad. Always remember that...

thank you very much for your advise, you all are wonderful. @YellowPP, exactly what you said, i dont hide it from hubby last night and he just laughed, unlike him he will say oya tommorow first thing go and depo into his account, this time he just lauged, why? when my dad came visiting hubby said he intimidated him, ehehehehehhe, 'i want better thing, oya lets go back to that first hotel i saw, it looks better,' and so many outrageous taste. so for him to come in less than a month to demand again, he only laughed, today i told him i sent him a text to inform him i dont really have much and my hubby opened up to tell me he is watching me with not just his eyes but his stomach. not happy i dont send him something but i just wanted him to learn that i will not always say yes and to make him realise pikin too get responsibilities.

all you responses are all on point exempt that of @wisdom.

@ wisdom-me, so you want your own father to quenck on time abi? what you type is opposite to your monniker. dont go there to say all you said any more ok... you can go ahead and wish all you elderly to quenck but me, i pray to God almighty to grant mine long life and good health. and i pray God wont allow your prayers to quench your elderly ones. amen. oni sokuso omo, alai loju ti okunrin

prettyrosefave: thanks @Donroxy and Gamboh55. Tears doesnt move him. as for involving my mum? hmmmm, no i cant. she is even worst than Dad when it comes to money management, at least we know Dad is extravagant but for mum, we dont know how she spends her income and before month end she will be in debt. we are not really close because of the role she played when i was in school. she never buy me provisions and cloths, i buy my provisions and cloths from the pocket money Dad gives. (maybe God allow that to teach me money management lesson).

No wahala, Maybe U should allow the man live ihm life na !!!