Assam, INDIA — Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam R.ape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get r.aped.

Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. “This is a long time tradition in Assam dating back thousands of years,” says Ahluwalia. “We r.ape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is necessary for everyone.”

The Assam Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu raped everyone in his village of Doomdooma. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most r.apes is called “The Baalkrishan”.

24-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar told reporters that he has been training all year for this event. “I’m going to get the most ra.pes this year. I’ve been practicing all year. I r.ape my sister and her friends every day. I will be r.ape superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!”


12-year-old Jaitashri Majumdar told reporters she almost made it through last year’s festival without getting r.aped. “I came so close to not getting raped. I almost got to the ‘r.ape-free-zone’ at the edge of town, but at the last minute 9 men jumped on me and ra.ped me. Luckily I am just recovering now so I can participate in this year’s events, otherwise I would be put to death by stoning.”

34-year-old Brian Barnett from Toronto who is visiting Assam on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year. “My company did not tell me anything about a ra.pe festival happening while I was here. Are you serious, a ra.pe festival? I’m getting the f*ck out of this backwards country tonight.”

India is second in reported rap.es in the world only behind the United States, though critics are quick to point out that is only because most r.apes in India go unreported. For more information about the festival or if you would like to participate, please call the 24-hour India R.ape Festival hotline at (785) 273-0325.

###source http://nationalreport.net/assam-rape-festival-india-begins-week/#

Pure evil..

[size=20pt] India, wat kind of stu.pid event is dis, for God sake. [/size]

Pictured here is the starting of last year’s Assam R.ape Festival, which locals say was a big success.

Banning such a festival should be India's best move at tackling this evil menace called molestation.

This is so sick and disgusting!

Onila beware of India.

Seun should uncensor ra.pe for crying out loud. Molestaion and ra.pe are two different words nitori olorun. They also dont belong to the same part of speech. Ra.pe is a verb while molestation is mostly used as noun.

Forumites please how does this sentence "the boy molestation the girl sound"?

Relax everyone.....this is fake news.....its a satire....