I asked this question in the religion section but didnt get enough response.

I graduated with a 2:1 in electrical engineering since 2009. I
couldnt get a decent job uptill a couple of months ago. I had to
run my M.ENG programme to save face.

I was very depressed through all those period believe me it was
not funny. However , almost everybody that I have told about the
new job seem very sad and bitter save for two people who used
to help me with cash during my M.ENG.

I am surprised that people who i thought were friends appear
very unhappy once they hear I have gotten a job.

These guys are mostly church members who pretended to be so concerned when I was jobless o.
These people too are doing pretty well for themselves o.

My question is, is it our nature as humans or as blacks.
some people have even complained that there parents are
against there progress.

Why do people find it difficult to be happy with you when you make progress ??


Front Page abeg!!!!!!!!

First of all Guitarlife...CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW JOB!!

Yes, it must have been hell on earth waiting for your very own job to come your way but now it has, look upon it as a new lease of life.

Re: friends - c'mon, you should know that not everyone who smiles and laughs with you is happy for you. The hearts of men (i.e humans) are indeed deep. That aside, look on the bright side - they've shown you the stuff they're truly made of, so it's high time you move on from them.

There was a thread sometime ago analysing the mindset of Nigerians in general and their western counterparts. Something to do with differentiating between the two types of envy.

~ You've got the constructive envy where someone though envious of what you have / are, uses that envy positively to strive harder for what they want to achieve. Sort of like healthy competition if you know what I mean.

~ Then on the flip side, you've got the destructive envy or rather bitter jealousy (a.k.a. the typical black man's enemy of progress syndrome) where your life even, is at risk as they won't mind snuffing out or hanging you to get what you have, or just to get you out of the way.

Having said that, I think it's time you ditch those so-called 'friends' of yours. Not everyone who carries a bible, speaks in tongues and goes to church religiously every Sunday is clean of heart. What determines the goodness of a person is what lies within and this manifests itself in their actions.

It is well and congratulations once more again

Who are those jealosing my husband?

When we were sharing garri where were dey?
My dear no mind dem

Aafulenu: Who are those jealosing my husband?

When we were sharing garri where were dey?
My dear no mind dem

lol. wey your BM as you take dey nairaland when you suppose dey work.

Efemena_xy: First of all Guitarlife...CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW JOB!!

Yes, it must have been hell on earth waiting for your very own job to come your way but now it has, look upon it as a new lease of life.

Re: friends - c'mon, you should know that not everyone who smiles and laughs with you is happy for you. The hearts of men (i.e humans) are indeed deep. That aside, look on the bright side - they've shown you the stuff they're truly made of, so it's high time you move on from them.

There was a thread sometime ago analysing the mindset of Nigerians in general and their western counterparts. Something to do with differentiating between the two types of envy.

~ You've got the constructive envy where someone though envious of what you have / are, uses that envy positively to strive harder for what they want to achieve. Sort of like healthy competition if you know what I mean.

~ Then on the flip side, you've got the destructive envy or rather bitter jealousy (a.k.a. the typical black man's enemy of progress syndrome) where your life even, is at risk as they won't mind snuffing out or hanging you to get what you have, or just to get you out of the way.

Having said that, I think it's time you ditch those so-called 'friends' of yours. Not everyone who carries a bible, speaks in tongues and goes to church religiously every Sunday is clean of heart. What determines the goodness of a person is what lies within and this manifests itself in their actions.

It is well and congratulations once more again

Thanks sis.

what shocks me is the way and manner "friends" turn cold on hearing that one is making progress.

They dnt want the top saturated

You need to understand who a friend is.... Those you described here are not friends but acquaintance...

Guitarlife: I asked this question in the religion section but didnt get enough response.

I graduated with a 2:1 in electrical engineering since 2009. I
couldnt get a decent job uptill a couple of months ago. I had to
run my M.ENG programme to save face.

I was very depressed through all those period believe me it was
not funny. However , almost everybody that I have told about the
new job seem very sad and bitter save for two people who used
to help me with cash during my M.ENG.

I am surprised that people who i thought were friends appear
very unhappy once they hear I have gotten a job.

These guys are mostly church members who pretended to be so concerned when I was jobless o.
These people too are doing pretty well for themselves o.

My question is, is it our nature as humans or as blacks.
some people have even complained that there parents are
against there progress.

Why do people find it difficult to be happy with you when you make progress ??


Front Page abeg!!!!!!!!

i would be jealous of you too. only you - MEng? that wasn't in the script. we were supposed to stop at JSS certificate, you then went behind them to cop more degrees. in ancient greece, you could be put to death for such treachery.

coogar:

i would be jealous of you too. only you - MEng? that wasn't in the script. we were supposed to stop at JSS certificate, you then went behind them to cop more degrees. in ancient greece, you could be put to death for such treachery.

Seems Africa is mostly filled with bitter people. Why can't we just make life easy for ourselves ? The mind boggles O my brother.

coogar:

i would be jealous of you too. only you - MEng? that wasn't in the script. we were supposed to stop at JSS certificate, you then went behind them to cop more degrees. in ancient greece, you could be put to death for such treachery.

Seems Africa is mostly filled with bitter people. Why can't we just make life easy for ourselves ? The mind boggles O my brother.

Guitarlife:

Seems Africa is mostly filled with bitter people. Why can't we just make life easy for ourselves ? The mind boggles O my brother.

africa is naturally bitter.
think of the savagery that goes on from place to place in that continent, the ritualism & the blood spillage from the dark ages till now....i mean, what do you expect?

there's no way anyone can convince me hell can be worse than what people go through in africa. the continent needs a special spiritual deliverance.

They are just jealous. Some friends always want you to be under them or remain in the same category with them but once you have a step higher they become insecure.

Guitarlife: I asked this question in the religion section but didnt get enough response.

I graduated with a 2:1 in electrical engineering since 2009. I
couldnt get a decent job uptill a couple of months ago. I had to
run my M.ENG programme to save face.

I was very depressed through all those period believe me it was
not funny. However , almost everybody that I have told about the
new job seem very sad and bitter save for two people who used
to help me with cash during my M.ENG.

I am surprised that people who i thought were friends appear
very unhappy once they hear I have gotten a job.

These guys are mostly church members who pretended to be so concerned when I was jobless o.
These people too are doing pretty well for themselves o.

My question is, is it our nature as humans or as blacks.
some people have even complained that there parents are
against there progress.

Why do people find it difficult to be happy with you when you make progress ??


Front Page abeg!!!!!!!!

That's what I find out recently! it's so disheartened to find out so called friends / neighbours just want your downfall and they don't want you to progress....#

Just fall yakata they gonna make mockery of you and be so happy!

But you just have to believe and get focused and don't let that distract you.

Just stay away from them and keep flying high!

So much hatred around bro

Just one or two friends will be happy! the only special people in your life are your family dad, mum and siblings!##

Congrats on ur new job! aint easy

You dont understand how hard it is for them that you no longer have to ask them for crumbs.

Thank God for showing them to you.

Good morning all, Thanks for the words of encouragement. You all made good points o. True friends are truely scarce .

As much as it hurts, one thing you have to guard against is becoming like them. this can happen if you keep dwelling on what they are doing to you. Let them be them, and you be you. Show kindness to them at every opportunity you get. They may not appreciate it, but keep being consistent. even if just for the sake of the two who stood by u. i'm sure they will come round someday.

I also went through something similar. they even accused me of being jealous and in their words, " sebi you now have a job, u want to bite the hands that fed u". i'm still trusting they would come round. but I've made up my mind not to let them change the good in me.

btwn, congrats on your new job. may this be the beginning of greater things for you.

Guitar that's life Bro, I have an uncle who stopped picking my calls just because I graduated from school. This is one man who gives me crumbs but when I need money for fees or project he just disappears. Most people don't truely care they just love the feeling of being needed and important and when you can't give them that satisfaction you become less important and it ddegenerates into envy.

Guy enjoy your money and be of help to younger students. This is what I do, I try as much as possible to send money to friends who are in school especially during their exams or when I know they need transportation. Do it wwithout the intention of receiving anything in return and see how God would bless the work of your hands.

Shallom, would buzz you later.

teeo: Guitar that's life Bro, I have an uncle who stopped picking my calls just because I graduated from school. This is one man who gives me crumbs but when I need money for fees or project he just disappears. Most people don't truely care they just love the feeling of being needed and important and when you can't give them that satisfaction you become less important and it ddegenerates into envy.

Guy enjoy your money and be of help to younger students. This is what I do, I try as much as possible to send money to friends who are in school especially during their exams or when I know they need transportation. Do it wwithout the intention of receiving anything in return and see how God would bless the work of your hands.

Shallom, would buzz you later.

Oga Teeo na so o. How work

Guitarlife: Oga Teeo na so o. How work

My guy work is good. Been stressful of late but we dey manage. So happy for you and don't mind those haters. God pass them.

my dear move on and there is nothing you can do about bitter people. I have one like that, she has never been happy about my progress. I get a job she is bitter, I get married she is envious. I try to be a good friend yet she kept on seeing herself like a mini god. When I started ignoring her she went ranting to someone that I have changed. So like a poster said keep on doing good to them no matter what. The bible says follow peace with all men. Pray for them always.

Sometimes its you. Yes you, i have had a couple of friends in the past who felt made and started putting up this i don pass you attitude around me. So before you complain about them you might like to check out your attitude, what and how you now talk about them. This is not to say the world is not full of bad belle people it is but many times we are not saints either.

Guitarlife: I asked this question in the religion section but didnt get enough response.

I graduated with a 2:1 in electrical engineering since 2009. I
couldnt get a decent job uptill a couple of months ago. I had to
run my M.ENG programme to save face.

I was very depressed through all those period believe me it was
not funny. However , almost everybody that I have told about the
new job seem very sad and bitter save for two people who used
to help me with cash during my M.ENG.

I am surprised that people who i thought were friends appear
very unhappy once they hear I have gotten a job.

These guys are mostly church members who pretended to be so concerned when I was jobless o.
These people too are doing pretty well for themselves o.

My question is, is it our nature as humans or as blacks.
some people have even complained that there parents are
against there progress.

Why do people find it difficult to be happy with you when you make progress ??


Front Page abeg!!!!!!!!

@OP, you very on point. i had my own fair share too back in my early days when i got my 1st real job. real friends are very scarce. it changed my total orientation of the kind of friends one should keep and value.

andromida: Sometimes its you. Yes you, i have had a couple of friends in the past who felt made and started putting up this i don pass you attitude around me. So before you complain about them you might like to check out your attitude, what and how you now talk about them. This is not to say the world is not full of bad belle people it is but many times we are not saints either.

Trust me I am not that kind of a person.

Are they envy or u think dat they are envy. People react differently to good new. I'm sure dat u expected them to shout and say pray d lord, but they just said ok. D thing is dat it is almost impossible 4 only two of ur friends to be happy 4 u, and ironically dey were d only two dat supported u when u were down. I actually believe d problem is with u and not with ur so called friends.

andromida: Sometimes its you. Yes you, i have had a couple of friends in the past who felt made and started putting up this i don pass you attitude around me. So before you complain about them you might like to check out your attitude, what and how you now talk about them. This is not to say the world is not full of bad belle people it is but many times we are not saints either.

I support you sometimes its you. Sometimes we unknowingly put up airs cos our level has changed. And we wont know till our attention is drawn to it.

So please, guitarlife check urself.

akintun: Are they envy or u think dat they are envy. People react differently to good new. I'm sure dat u expected them to shout and say pray d lord, but they just said ok. D thing is dat it is almost impossible 4 only two of ur friends to be happy 4 u, and ironically dey were d only two dat supported u when u were down. I actually believe d problem is with u and not with ur so called friends.

When someone is genuinely happy for you it aint difficult to know. Same goes for when they are just faking it.

I am not asking them to jump. I only didnt expect them to become sad o. Its kinda difficult to explain but I am sure of what I am saying.

four issues arise from my experience

I don't. want to be cut to size - most recently successful people want to take on former stars to gain a permanent stand

many recently successful people don't appreciate the depth of investment and sacrifice needed for long term success they feel your call for caution is so you can remain the only one shining

I don't want anybody to set me on a race I'm not meant to run so I limit my exposure to people I may end up being compared with

too many recently successful guys are full of shit, from yahoo plus to money laundering, to drugs. the need to catch up make people do a lot of things why hurry if it's real it will last. if I don't know the details I stay clear

this is my bit why the relationship often gets less cozy with new money there's really no hard feeling, am just taking my time

Congrats on finding a job! Since '09, wow!
It's just jealousy & competitiveness.
These aren't your friends.
Your enemies are plenty.
Keep God close and
thank HIM always.
All the best.

pet_saint: four issues arise from my experience

I don't. want to be cut to size - most recently successful people want to take on former stars to gain a permanent stand

many recently successful people don't appreciate the depth of investment and sacrifice needed for long term success they feel your call for caution is so you can remain the only one shining

I don't want anybody to set me on a race I'm not meant to run so I limit my exposure to people I may end up being compared with

too many recently successful guys are full of shit, from yahoo plus to money laundering, to drugs. the need to catch up make people do a lot of things why hurry if it's real it will last. if I don't know the details I stay clear

this is my bit why the relationship often gets less cozy with new money there's really no hard feeling, am just taking my time

What does all this have to do with being unhappy because a jobless friend got a job?

It's normal. Some people can't stand competition. There is space for everyone in the sky

If I were you, I would proceed to the next phase. A.K.A

RUB IT IN!!!!!

Good morning all your responses have been a revelation. Do have a great week ahead.