no sensations pls help! why dnt i feel pleasurable sensations wen being kissed, caressed or made luv to? Wit ALL d men av been wit, same problem.Just starked numbness. Never ever felt it, even now dt am married. I was a virgin until my weddin nite, 3 wks ago. cud dt be reason? !I am 32 yrs old. I pretend to feel, so hubby wont feel like he is not doin well, but nw he suspects. WAT IS WRONG WIT ME?

does ur hubby touch u in d right places? or maybe u should see a counsellor/doctor.discuss with ur hubby abt it

MsJackson: no sensations pls help! why dnt i feel pleasurable sensations wen being kissed, caressed or made luv to? Wit ALL d men av been wit, same problem.Just starked numbness. Never ever felt it, even now dt am married. I was a virgin until my weddin nite, 3 wks ago. cud dt be reason? !I am 32 yrs old. I pretend to feel, so hubby wont feel like he is not doin well, but nw he suspects. WAT IS WRONG WIT ME?

the lie u just told is the problem?
U av been wit numerovs men!
2nd u claim u married as a virgin for 3 years!
Clean up 1st and u'l see changes!

baralatie:
the lie u just told is the problem?
U av been wit numerovs men!
2nd u claim u married as a virgin for 3 years!
Clean up 1st and u'l see changes!

My being wit numerous men mean i dated without sex, kissing and every oda tin apart frm sex. i tot i wud feel sometin if i had sex first, so i waited until my weddin nite. no improvement. Also, av been married for 3 wks not 3 yrs.

bluuu: does ur hubby touch u in d right places? or maybe u should see a counsellor/doctor.discuss with ur hubby abt it

u are right. i just fear, i want to enjoy sex wit my hubby. will dt EVER happen?

It's ur mindset or some phobia u had abt s*ex. Maybe as a teenager u're trained to believe that s*ex is too dangerous for a girl, or a good girl shouldn't be touched by a boy in order to look saintly and holy. It got hard-wired into ur brain & shut down ur response system. Now u're paying d price. U've to unwind that & become more open with ur hubby. S*ex is very canal & sometime 'dirty'. There's nothing holy abt it. It takes an open-minded woman to take the gross, silly stuff that goes on in bed btw a man & woman...u're almost like a wh*ore to ur man & yet don't feel disrespected. I'm being real.

I think you should start by knowing your lady parts. Get a mirror and look down there and find all the parts. There are countless diagrams online. Find your clitoris. Try to find those sensations for yourself. I was like 7 when I found mine . I did not know what it was or really understand the feeling until I became an adult. I think after you explore your body and understand what makes you tick then you can have a better conversation with your husband about it. Good luck Sis. Don't be discouraged

Woged2005: It's ur mindset or some phobia u had abt s*ex. Maybe as a teenager u're trained to believe that s*ex is too dangerous for a girl, or a good girl shouldn't be touched by a boy in order to look saintly and holy. It got hard-wired into ur brain & shut down ur response system. Now u're paying d price. U've to unwind that & become more open with ur hubby. S*ex is very canal & sometime 'dirty'. There's nothing holy abt it. It takes an open-minded woman to take the gross, silly stuff that goes on in bed btw a man & woman...u're almost like a wh*ore to ur man & yet don't feel disrespected. I'm being real.

u are very correct. i was strict abt sex, nw am paying d price. but i dnt regret keepin my virginity till marriage, i jst wanna let loose NOW

soul_glo: I think you should start by knowing your lady parts. Get a mirror and look down there and find all the parts. There are countless diagrams online. Find your clitoris. Try to find those sensations for yourself. I was like 7 when I found mine . I did not know what it was or really understand the feeling until I became an adult. I think after you explore your body and understand what makes you tick then you can have a better conversation with your husband about it. Good luck Sis. Don't be discouraged

i have never explored. it feels so odd. its like i dnt have a choice nw, do i? God help me o!

be free with ur hubby n let him explore ,dont fake d pleasure, let him knw how u feel wen he touches u.also open ur mind,think romance/sex,set ur mind to it.i hope it helps

MsJackson: u are very correct. i was strict abt sex, nw am paying d price. but i dnt regret keepin my virginity till marriage, i jst wanna let loose NOW

i cant believe u guys are just throwing al sort of lies!

me think ur suffering from non sensational menopause.

Woged2005: It's ur mindset or some phobia u had abt s*ex. Maybe as a teenager u're trained to believe that s*ex is too dangerous for a girl, or a good girl shouldn't be touched by a boy in order to look saintly and holy. It got hard-wired into ur brain & shut down ur response system. Now u're paying d price. U've to unwind that & become more open with ur hubby. S*ex is very canal & sometime 'dirty'. There's nothing holy abt it. It takes an open-minded woman to take the gross, silly stuff that goes on in bed btw a man & woman...u're almost like a wh*ore to ur man & yet don't feel disrespected. I'm being real.

did u read her comments properly.
And u definition of sex is sooo waay offf!
S£x 'dirty' ke.
Too bad.pray for a gud husband!

MsJackson: My being wit numerous men mean i dated without sex, kissing and every oda tin apart frm sex. i tot i wud feel sometin if i had sex first, so i waited until my weddin nite. no improvement. Also, av been married for 3 wks not 3 yrs.

1. get this very clear.if at al what u saying is true which i doubt.
Ur not been responsive to s€xual tension has nothing to do with u or ur 'virginity status'.
The human body reacts instantly to s£xual tension.even a woman locked up for 60yrs is stil dat vunerable.
But if what u say is true( which i doubt)then u are suffering from 'a no response disorder'
saw i tho.the treatmt is very simple.
And for crying out load sex is not a war zone!

@OP, I'm going to ask you what no one here has dared to.

Were you circumcised as a child? Although widely discouraged, female circumcision is still practised in many tribes with the mindset that it discourages infidelity (from the woman).

Unfortunately, the emotional impact it has on women is huge. The cl.ito.ri.s is the power house for heightened sex.ual feelings and 0rg@sms and if you've had that bit of your anatomy taken off you, it explains the numbness you feel during f0replay and sex. I doubt if you'll ever be able to "peak" during sex.

Efemena_xy: @OP, I'm going to ask you what no one here has dared to.

Were you circumcised as a child? Although widely discouraged, female circumcision is still practised in many tribes with the mindset that it discourages infidelity (from the woman).

Unfortunately, the emotional impact it has on women is huge. The cl.ito.ri.s is the power house for heightened sex.ual feelings and 0rg@sms and if you've had that bit of your anatomy taken off you, it explains the numbness you feel during f0replay and sex. I doubt if you'll ever be able to "peak" during sex.

fortunately they 'peak' & av mind blowing ones!

baralatie:
did u read her comments properly. And u definition of sex is sooo waay offf! S£x 'dirty' ke. Too bad.pray for a gud husband!

Some topics you respond to sometimes maybe too advanced for the choice of words & responses you use. I hope someone doesn't take you on one of these days & question your age. Please write your responses without attacking people. This is family section for people with real issues asking for matured suggestions from mothers, fathers, married people, adults, and experience contributors.

Op, U can't just respond to sex on your own until being taken out of your ''Hard-wired'' fallacy about sex being ''a Dirty venture'' also, I doubt your Husband put your psyche into consideration while Banging you,Most Men aint psychological anyway !!!


Op,Ur Spirit has been Brainwashed to attached Dirtiness to Sex and since your Mind has also accepted such through the years, The ''SexDrivers'' in your Entire Human-System has been De-activated and ShutDown .... It has nothing to do with your Virginity But Your BRAIN !


Everything is the BRAIN/MIND !!
All that is needed to be done is for that part of your Mind/Brain which has shutdown your sexdrives be Enliven via Holistic Re-Education by Experts ! Your Brain need to be Washed-Off Previous Education on Sex and Real Education on Sex be Installed into it and the Success of your sessions depend Heavily on your Husband and his ability to fulfill his marital responsibilty of ''Duty Of Care'' towards you !!


I always advised people/Parents that give sex Advice to Children/Youths to close them Up on Pre-Marital Sex But educate them on how sweet MaritalSex could be ...... U just don't tell them ''Sex is Evil'' !!


I have read about Funmi Akingbade of Punch, a Sex Psychologist ...... U may wanto Consult her ! (google her name) !

I would have also treated you, only that I never Opened my own Shop


Get Help Quickly and Be a RealWife also Take your Husband through the sessions .... Very Soon, U will become Wild on Bed, IDK your hubby would be able to handle you

@Woged2005, kudos and that's reality u have put Up there but some certain words of yours would be better concieved by the Op after she has gotten treatment but not NOW cuz Some statements are too Early for her. (remember na SU she go be,so, tellin SU she is a w.ho.re will lead her to defending Morality, as such, Arguement! and a difficult session with Psychologist !) . Op Must be manouvered to listened and asked Questions, as she listened all through the Brainwashing Moments that ensued through her Life !! Arguements with Her on Morality should be avoided and Only Educative words are permissive !!

Woged2005:

Some topics you respond to sometimes maybe too advanced for the choice of words & responses you use. I hope someone doesn't take you on one of these days & question your age. Please write your responses without attacking people. This is family section for people with real issues asking for matured suggestions from mothers, fathers, married people, adults, and experience contributors.

mothers,fathers,married couples,the elderly,proffesionals,husband,wives,aunties,uncles,pastors,government officials,captain of the industries,foreign delegates,proffesors and so on and so forth.

And i wasnt attacking u o!i was just taking aback on ur view about intimacy which is a wrong perception!

Wether u believe it or not.s£x is not dirty.it neva will.it is what God created to be!

Efemena_xy: @OP, I'm going to ask you what no one here has dared to.

Were you circumcised as a child? Although widely discouraged, female circumcision is still practised in many tribes with the mindset that it discourages infidelity (from the woman).

Unfortunately, the emotional impact it has on women is huge. The cl.ito.ri.s is the power house for heightened sex.ual feelings and 0rg@sms and if you've had that bit of your anatomy taken off you, it explains the numbness you feel during f0replay and sex. I doubt if you'll ever be able to "peak" during sex.

no i wasnt circumcised. peakin during sex is sometin i myt never experience. dt i can manage, but this pain? cud it be becos my hubby is huge down there? btw am petite.

MsJackson: no i wasnt circumcised. peakin during sex is sometin i myt never experience. dt i can manage, but this pain? cud it be becos my hubby is huge down there? btw am petite.

Okay, good to know you aren't circumcised - was worried for you regarding that.

I think the pain you might be feeling during sex.ua.l inter-c0urse with your hubby maybe due to the fact that you've not been 'excited' enough through f0replay. When the female is sex.ually ar0used, her body tends to naturally lubricate itself, hence the 'wetness' we feel down there. This then makes penetr@tion easier.

So two things here: First of all, your hubby needs to learn the act of pleasuring you / up his game with regards to f0replay. Secondly, to prevent any tears or abrasiveness during penetration, you should use some water-based lubrication like baby oil. Rub some on his manhood and on your v@gin@ so that when he enters you, it'll be smooth and painless.

Sex, like most things in life, only gets better with practise. There are a lot of self-help books and videos you can get these days from the internet. Both of you should experiment to find out where your "center of gravity" it. Once you find it, you will reach org@sm during sex. Also try adopting different positions, but for each one, ask him to go really slowly and easy. For example, you could try asking your husband to lie back on the bed while you sit on top him. This way, you're in total control of how deep he enters you and you can go as far down on him as you feel comfortable for. For other positions, say missionary or the d0ggy style, let him know if it hurts so he can stop. Pain during sex can be uncomfortable so I totally understand where you're coming from - that is why you must communicate with him my dear, as men aren't mind readers.

It is well.

Truth neva come out!
Abeg e!


Na today!

MsJackson: no i wasnt circumcised. peakin during sex is sometin i myt never experience. dt i can manage, but this pain? cud it be becos my hubby is huge down there? btw am petite.

be rest assured u wil 'peak'!but for the 'pains'-learn to relax urself.
Encourage to handle wit care by telling him about pains during intercouse!he wil understand and slow things down!

donroxy:

@Woged2005, kudos and that's reality u have put Up there but some certain words of yours would be better concieved by the Op after she has gotten treatment but not NOW cuz Some statements are too Early for her. (remember na SU she go be,so, tellin SU she is a w.ho.re will lead her to defending Morality, as such, Arguement! and a difficult session with Psychologist !) . Op Must be manouvered to listened and asked Questions, as she listened all through the Brainwashing Moments that ensued through her Life !! Arguements with Her on Morality should be avoided and Only Educative words are permissive !!

You are right. Thanks for the correction. I was only trying to prepare @OP's mind not to bring 'SU's' mindset into the bedroom. There's time for everything. If she truly wants to enjoy s$x with her hubby, then she must be willing to be open and explore like millions of women who enjoy sex.

@OP, on the issue of size and pain, that's far from the cause. Doctors say every woman's 'body' adjust to the size of her partner's thing with time bc it's elastic and even accommodate the head of a baby. Moreover women lubricate during a good romantic 'play-play' & 'touch-touch' to prepare the 'place' for any size. However, try & use water-based lubricants sold in pharmacies in Nigeria. Also c.ondoms can cause pain during s.ex especially if they're not lubricated or dries out. One silly suggestion though is u may need to watch some s.ex movies with an open mind to learn more

Efemena_xy:

Okay, good to know you aren't circumcised - was worried for you regarding that.

I think the pain you might be feeling during sex.ua.l inter-c0urse with your hubby maybe due to the fact that you've not been 'excited' enough through f0replay. When the female is sex.ually ar0used, her body tends to naturally lubricate itself, hence the 'wetness' we feel down there. This then makes penetr@tion easier.

So two things here: First of all, your hubby needs to learn the act of pleasuring you / up his game with regards to f0replay. Secondly, to prevent any tears or abrasiveness during penetration, you should use some water-based lubrication like baby oil. Rub some on his manhood and on your v@gin@ so that when he enters you, it'll be smooth and painless.

Sex, like most things in life, only gets better with practise. There are a lot of self-help books and videos you can get these days from the internet. Both of you should experiment to find out where your "center of gravity" it. Once you find it, you will reach org@sm during sex. Also try adopting different positions, but for each one, ask him to go really slowly and easy. For example, you could try asking your husband to lie back on the bed while you sit on top him. This way, you're in total control of how deep he enters you and you can go as far down on him as you feel comfortable for. For other positions, say missionary or the d0ggy style, let him know if it hurts so he can stop. Pain during sex can be uncomfortable so I totally understand where you're coming from - that is why you must communicate with him my dear, as men aren't mind readers.

It is well.

tnx so much efe, for understandin my plight. i get very very wet, dripping actually, wen touched. we use ky jelly for lubrication, to make entry smoother. am sure i feel him hitting my womb wen he thrusts deep. dt also brings pain. missionary position is best for me, but doggy is damn too deep but he understands wen i ask him to stop. DT PLEASURABLE FEELING is wat i crave nw. i believe dt wit time, d pain will subside, becos am new to dis. but d numbness is wat bothers me o. i pray it comes wit time. tnx so much for ur contribution

Woged2005:

You are right. Thanks for the correction. I was only trying to prepare @OP's mind not to bring 'SU's' mindset into the bedroom. There's time for everything. If she truly wants to enjoy s$x with her hubby, then she must be willing to be open and explore like millions of women who enjoy sex.

@OP, on the issue of size and pain, that's far from the cause. Doctors say every woman's 'body' adjust to the size of her partner's thing with time bc it's elastic and even accommodate the head of a baby. Moreover women lubricate during a good romantic 'play-play' & 'touch-touch' to prepare the 'place' for any size. However, try & use water-based lubricants sold in pharmacies in Nigeria. Also c.ondoms can cause pain during s.ex especially if they're not lubricated or dries out. One silly suggestion though is u may need to watch some s.ex movies with an open mind to learn more

sex movies, yes we watch 'lovers guide' togeda. SU tins, NEVER. i myt have married as a technical virgin, but am not a prude wrt sexual matters. av been there, done all except penetration. i even give my hubby MouthAction. dt is hw anti-SU i am. yes, we use ky jelly and no, he doesnt use condoms on me. i jst want those ooohs and aaaaahhs dt come wit love making, not faking it like av always done. am willing to explore and be open minded. for real. tnx for ur timely advice.

MsJackson: sex movies, yes we watch 'lovers guide' togeda. SU tins, NEVER. i myt have married as a technical virgin, but am not a prude wrt sexual matters. av been there, done all except penetration. i even give my hubby MouthAction. dt is hw anti-SU i am. yes, we use ky jelly and no, he doesnt use condoms on me. i jst want those ooohs and aaaaahhs dt come wit love making, not faking it like av always done. am willing to explore and be open minded. for real. tnx for ur timely advice.

u want the 'ooooh' and 'aaahs'.
See where u started in ur thread.now see exactly what is on ground!

Thread Very carefully!

Na wa for nland's censor!

Who typed centre of gravity? When I meant G-sp0t?

MsJackson: tnx so much efe, for understandin my plight. i get very very wet, dripping actually, wen touched. we use ky jelly for lubrication, to make entry smoother. am sure i feel him hitting my womb wen he thrusts deep. dt also brings pain. missionary position is best for me, but doggy is damn too deep but he understands wen i ask him to stop. DT PLEASURABLE FEELING is wat i crave nw. i believe dt wit time, d pain will subside, becos am new to dis. but d numbness is wat bothers me o. i pray it comes wit time. tnx so much for ur contribution

My dear, you don't ever have to endure pain during sex - so stop all that talk about pain subsiding with time. It shouldn't happen in the first place!

I think how every woman responds to stimuli differs but there are things you can try to put you in the mood. How about making sure there are no distractions - so switch off your phones or put them on silent mode. You can also play you're favourite blues / relaxing music. Have a long soak in the bath with hubby with scented oils and candles and in the bath, let there be a lot of touching and exploring of each other's bodies. Go as far as you can dare, but no sex (it might be tough on your hubby to hold back, but encourage him to.)

When you both come out of the bath / shower, lead him to the bedroom and give him a nice, long, slow massage from top to bottom. While he lays face down on the bed, sit astride him, using your knees to grip him by the waist and then start massaging him slowly from neck to feet. (make sure you both do this without your clothes on). Then next get him to lie on his back and repeat the process. Take it in turns and let him also do the same for you. Encourage him to touch, handle and kiss your female spots while he encourages you to do the same with his body (don't want to be too graphic here).

The whole process (f0replay) could even take over an hour just to get you in the mood. When eventually you both get down to having sex, show him to go slow on you. Long, slow thrusts for as long as it takes to get you up there on cloud 9. It is a learning game and no one is born a sex pro - it just takes a lot of practice, and dedication to get better.

I hope this helps

Efemena_xy: Na wa for nland's censor!

Who typed centre of gravity? When I meant G-sp0t?



My dear, you don't ever have to endure pain during sex - so stop all that talk about pain subsiding with time. It shouldn't happen in the first place!

I think how every woman responds to stimuli differs but there are things you can try to put you in the mood. How about making sure there are no distractions - so switch off your phones or put them on silent mode. You can also play you're favourite blues / relaxing music. Have a long soak in the bath with hubby with scented oils and candles and in the bath, let there be a lot of touching and exploring of each other's bodies. Go as far as you can dare, but no sex (it might be tough on your hubby to hold back, but encourage him to.)

When you both come out of the bath / shower, lead him to the bedroom and give him a nice, long, slow massage from top to bottom. While he lays face down on the bed, sit astride him, using your knees to grip him by the waist and then start massaging him slowly from neck to feet. (make sure you both do this without your clothes on). Then next get him to lie on his back and repeat the process. Take it in turns and let him also do the same for you. Encourage him to touch, handle and kiss your female spots while he encourages you to do the same with his body (don't want to be too graphic here).

The whole process (f0replay) could even take over an hour just to get you in the mood. When eventually you both get down to having sex, show him to go slow on you. Long, slow thrusts for as long as it takes to get you up there on cloud 9. It is a learning game and no one is born a sex pro - it just takes a lot of practice, and dedication to get better.

I hope this helps

aaaah!m-o-d-e-r-a-t-o-r

red alert!

Reader/viewer restrictn needed!
Aunty efe!

Don't worry dear with time you will start enjoying sex. Say from 3months. If you start it will take time before you start having that feeling. Just chilax

Efemena_xy: Na wa for nland's censor!

Who typed centre of gravity? When I meant G-sp0t?



My dear, you don't ever have to endure pain during sex - so stop all that talk about pain subsiding with time. It shouldn't happen in the first place!

I think how every woman responds to stimuli differs but there are things you can try to put you in the mood. How about making sure there are no distractions - so switch off your phones or put them on silent mode. You can also play you're favourite blues / relaxing music. Have a long soak in the bath with hubby with scented oils and candles and in the bath, let there be a lot of touching and exploring of each other's bodies. Go as far as you can dare, but no sex (it might be tough on your hubby to hold back, but encourage him to.)

When you both come out of the bath / shower, lead him to the bedroom and give him a nice, long, slow massage from top to bottom. While he lays face down on the bed, sit astride him, using your knees to grip him by the waist and then start massaging him slowly from neck to feet. (make sure you both do this without your clothes on). Then next get him to lie on his back and repeat the process. Take it in turns and let him also do the same for you. Encourage him to touch, handle and kiss your female spots while he encourages you to do the same with his body (don't want to be too graphic here).

The whole process (f0replay) could even take over an hour just to get you in the mood. When eventually you both get down to having sex, show him to go slow on you. Long, slow thrusts for as long as it takes to get you up there on cloud 9. It is a learning game and no one is born a sex pro - it just takes a lot of practice, and dedication to get better.

I hope this helps

I AM SOOOOOOOOO TRYING DIS ASAP! Ooshey!!!!

Efemena_xy: Na wa for nland's censor!

Who typed centre of gravity? When I meant G-sp0t?



My dear, you don't ever have to endure pain during sex - so stop all that talk about pain subsiding with time. It shouldn't happen in the first place!

I think how every woman responds to stimuli differs but there are things you can try to put you in the mood. How about making sure there are no distractions - so switch off your phones or put them on silent mode. You can also play you're favourite blues / relaxing music. Have a long soak in the bath with hubby with scented oils and candles and in the bath, let there be a lot of touching and exploring of each other's bodies. Go as far as you can dare, but no sex (it might be tough on your hubby to hold back, but encourage him to.)

When you both come out of the bath / shower, lead him to the bedroom and give him a nice, long, slow massage from top to bottom. While he lays face down on the bed, sit astride him, using your knees to grip him by the waist and then start massaging him slowly from neck to feet. (make sure you both do this without your clothes on). Then next get him to lie on his back and repeat the process. Take it in turns and let him also do the same for you. Encourage him to touch, handle and kiss your female spots while he encourages you to do the same with his body (don't want to be too graphic here).

The whole process (f0replay) could even take over an hour just to get you in the mood. When eventually you both get down to having sex, show him to go slow on you. Long, slow thrusts for as long as it takes to get you up there on cloud 9. It is a learning game and no one is born a sex pro - it just takes a lot of practice, and dedication to get better.

I hope this helps

I AM SOOOOOOOOO TRYING DIS ASAP! Ooshey!!!!