Hi Nairalanders,


I just joined my mum and Dad last year in Canada from Nigeria, and I have not had peace since I joined my Dad. I am 21 years old, and I

am living with my Dad for the first time since I was born, and he is not whom a child would crave for as a father. I have been abused by this

man several times. Three weeks after I arrived Canada, this man stripped himself naked and cursed me. He is always saying the same thing

every time:How much he spent to send me to private school in Nigeria, how he got immigration papers for my mum. He would abuse my

mum right he front of me, abuse me right in front of my mum, slapped my mum in my presence. He is turning 50 very soon, and he can

hardly boast on having any property in Overseas, after Leaving the shores of Nigeria for almost 3 decades. He doesn't talk to friend or family

I proved him wrong by gaining admission into the university less than 1 year I arrived. To cut the Long story short, He slapped me yesterday

over nothing. I had to call him 'a cursed person'. Now, I am being made to apologize after saying such. I want to avoid trouble with this man,

as I don't want a bad record on my name, and I want to be successful and avoid ending up like him. I also wanna avoid being cursed by him.

The bible that says children, honor your father and mother also says parent, do not provoke Your children. Please I need help, I don't want

him to ruin my future by cursing me.

How do I avoid problems with him?

Pray Op, pray.

Its either ya dad is an alkoholik or he is frustrated with life.

Dude, u can always avoid him by sayin nothing when he is vexed up and always leave the house when he is about to explode.

Then pray

Am very happy but yet sad to read it. You have a lot of praying to do so as not to be like him oneday... U need to pray....a lot ...join a church and be a member. You need to keep in contact with your friends and family here... So as to know what's going on in nigeria. Save a lot of ur money and sometimes help any of the family or friends who might ask ur help,one day u would like to come back to nigeria for one thing or another..its these people who wil help n be ur eyes. Meanwhile tell ur mum to get busy and find any work as soon as possible so as to give ur dad the money he has spend on the family. To be honest ...he just afraid of tomrow cause the only thing he got is his family and afraid to loose u all. Meanwhile.... Pray for him all d time.

He doesn't drink. He is someone who believes too much in himself. He believes he knows everything, he is so fool of himself. I can hardly

Tell you what he does for a living. You hardly know his plans. I am not even worried about him anymore, but worried about myself. I

want him to stop cursing me. He know he can't curse or beat me if I was born here. He is always calculating how much he spends on me, and

I find it hard to comprehend why a father will say such. I am doing well in my school. I don't wanna involve the cops, but I am beginning to

have a second thought.

And you posted this in the job section. Are we suppose to seek for employment in your Father's company?

Kayuzze1: He doesn't drink. He is someone who believes too much in himself. He believes he knows everything, he is so fool of himself. I can hardly

Tell you what he does for a living. You hardly know his plans. I am not even worried about him anymore, but worried about myself. I

want him to stop cursing me. He know he can't curse or beat me if I was born here. He is always calculating how much he spends on me, and

I find it hard to comprehend why a father will say such. I am doing well in my school. I don't wanna involve the cops, but I am beginning to

have a second thought.

Have gone through most of these things you talking about and i tell you anyone not in your shoes can't understand what you are going through.it could be realy disheartning and you keep remembering those arsh words he's using on you.
Throughout my 3rd and final year in school,my father abused me always and it makes me remember some odd things about him.am in my 30's and whenever he still calls me on phone and say somethings,i just SMH and wonder if he would ever change.
Bro,u gat to be careful,some parent i dont understand them
But i will advise you,for the sake of peace,just apologize.it doesnt take anything away from you.
And avoid as much as possible anything that brings trouble although he will still bring up one issue or the other
Once you are through with school and get a job of your own,the trouble is over
Remember its a lesson for you when you start raising your own family
Pls endure

You have to pray and get yourself busy and stay away from him dat way. I must say that whether u r born in Canada or not, the society forbids abuse, especially against women. Which part of Canada r u? R u male of female? You will be fine ok

When you start your school, stay either in the university's dormitory or rent an apartment close to the school.

This will help you to minimize contact with him.

Kayuzze1: He doesn't drink. He is someone who believes too much in himself. He believes he knows everything, he is so fool of himself. I can hardly

Tell you what he does for a living. You hardly know his plans. I am not even worried about him anymore, but worried about myself. I

want him to stop cursing me. He know he can't curse or beat me if I was born here. He is always calculating how much he spends on me, and

I find it hard to comprehend why a father will say such. I am doing well in my school. I don't wanna involve the cops, but I am beginning to

have a second thought.

As soon as you can get a place of your own,stay away from him if your father will destroy you why must you force the relationship. Even Abraham had to leave his parents, their way of life,their beliefs to create his own destiny. You are not here to live in his shadow or abuse.

Just be patience,

Patience,

Patience,

Cool,

calm,

be a good Boy to your Dad,

give him Utmost respect regardless of his Unappreciation...


Appreciate him when He gives u gift or pay your dues by saying ''Thank You Daddy,May God continue to bless you sir !


Sacrifice and Tolerate all the emotional and Psychological duress U might suffered from him !


Be a fool to Him but Be Strong in your Mind !


Allow him to get to you Physically But never allow him to get to your mind !

Build yourself a Firewall around your Heart to defend against Emotional Duress !

Let his Vituperations fly around your ears as Unnecessary News though show remorse !

Bros, Attached serious attention and utmost dedication as well as commitment to your Education cuz thatz your safe Heaven and safety Net away from your dad in the Longrun and That is the Only way to Humbly defend and Protect Your Mum !


Already forgive your Dad before, during and after his verbal abuse and assault !


If U don't wanto end like him,u must not let his words get @ U ..... Therefore, It is either U used your Goodliness to change him to a Better Dad OR He used his BadDad to change U to a Poor son !!


I believed he will change when He sees you Are a SUCCESS !


Being Successful, on your own violition and ability to forgive your Dad shall strategically earn you a RESPECT from HIM !!



YOUR DAD IS TRAINING YOU to BECOME A SOLDIER and a Very Strong Man, If You pass his woes, U shall be from any woes accruing from any Environment !


see it as a TRAINING , Convince your MUM how much you are working Hard to Protect her and let your mum's sufferness be your MOTIVATION and Driving force for SUCCESS ..........


Your Dad shall be a Good Man very soon, welcome to the crib of Success !

Try to live alone. You can move to school hostel or such.

Look for job that would cater for your need.

Your father is angry because of pain of living abroad for very long time and little success. You know one nigeria failed the masses totally.