I'm not an expert in putting up a sweet write-up, so let me go straight to the point....I am a guy of 27, about 7yrs ago my grandmum reveal a secret to me that left me worried till today.I guess she did that out of the closeness i have with her.She told me my mum was pregnant of me when my dad wanted to marry her and it wasn't my dad that was responsible for the pregnancy.When they discovered,my dad wanted to throw my mum out but due to the fact that they had gone deep in the relationship couple with d likeness my grandmum has for my mum, she(my grandmum) pleaded with my dad to accept my mum and they got wedded. It is so disheartening that d man i have been calling dad all these years is actually not my dad. How do i go about discovering my biological father? I confronted grandmum recently and she told me that it was heard sometime ago that my biological had died, and that i should forget about it.I have a feeling its a lie.Who should i confront again my mum? Or the man i call dad?

If it bothers you so much. . . keep asking your mom. . . NICELY. She might break to tell it all.
Do not ask your mom's husband(YOUR SURROGATE DAD). . .so he does not feel you are being 'ungrateful'.
That might hurt him after all he has done to keep the family together.
You have a gem of a grandma. . . .SHE IS ONE IN A MILLION.
You come from goooooooooooooooood stock of principled human beings.

I hope you can handle the truth if it is eventually revealed to you.

MARRIAGE HAS SOME DEEP SINS AND SECRETS SOMETIMES. . . it is best not to know!

Tough situation you are in. . . . BUT YOUR CHOICE.

Goodluck sha.

Whether you like it or yes....... the man you called dad for the past 27 years is your real dad... he gave you no reason to doubt his paternity.... for you to have written this well means he has done his good bit in educating you. It takes not just any man but a really strong man with great control over his emotion to accept a child that isn't his and to have been sticking to being daddy for 27 years.... so Sir ; you have no right to be dis-heartened. I understand you curiously though....how much do u trust ur granny. The way I see it, its her word against your parents' .
,
If you must find you biological dad since you are so certain there's another dad, you'll have to be discrete..... go through your moms things.... you are bound to find some clue.... old friends and acquaintance that might have an idea.........or know some past. You have to be prepared mentally though- You might not like
What you discover. Besides you would be staring the hornet's coven that has settled for 27yers.... you best be ready for some stings..... consider the hearts you'd hurt....

If you ask me nah who i go ask

Ask your mum. She gave birth to you, not your grandmum. I dont know the reason your grandmum has for divluging that information to you without the consent of your parents. It is quite applaudable that you are well-mannered in your approach to this issue, else your grandmum would have damned the day she gave you such life-altering information without first consulting your parents. For you to have lived with this knowledge for 7 years without doing anything or taking any step is a strong indication that your home is a comfort zone for you and the man you grew up to know as your dad is a dad INDEED. You need not look any further.
but still ask your mum 'cos you have the right to know

Really, did grandma have to tell you? Not quite sure it's necessary unless you gave her reason to... She should have allowed your parents the honor if and when necessary!

However, your mum must have a sibling close to her, use style to ask him/her about your mum's old relationships and start with the man she dated before she married your dad! Don't tell her why, you can start with your own relationship tale... Get her talking about relationships...

I hope you are prepared sha...and don't let your mum know at the innitial stage; she may block you from getting right info from people.
Also, don't let your 'dad' know you are snooping- he may not like it.

Whose surname are you bearing? Your surrogate dad's or your real dad's?

If it's your surrogate dad's name you're bearing, then, you're tending towards being ungrateful, because, if the man had been taking care of you and do not give you reason to doubt his paternity, coupled with the fact that, you bears his name, then, i don't know what else you are looking for.
If your real dad, according to your grandma could abandon/reject your pregnancy as well as your mum during such sensitive stage of hers, and someone is magnanimous enough to accept and take care of you since you are still in the womb, and even allwed you to bear his name, i wonder what else you're still looking for in the one that abandoned you and what you will make your "dad" here to feel about you.

"DO NOT OPEN AN OLD WOUND"
that's my own opinion, please.


My advice, erase your mind from having another dad somewhere, appreciate the one you have and continually pray for him.
May God help you.

Your grandmum has open up to you, go meet ur mum for the right answer , and don't let your dad know what is going on for now

Yeyecious mentality.
So if u c him now ur balls will grow bigger?
U will jejely walk into his life to be cuddled as lost and found pikin?
Such an ungrateful move.

Oya, go ask ur mum, announce via radio and tv u r looking for ur dad.
It seem u don't know d definition of dad.
More reason u should be eternally grateful to that man that accepted to marry ur mum.

Some pple r looking for what u hv and u want to throw it out by tying to venture on a stupid journey.
I'm sure u r still dependent on the man for life support.
And grandma will think she did u a world of good by speaking out.
Some secrets r supposed to be buried for life unless its negatively affecting those involved.
U wanna resurrect a good secret like this, let those involved do d digging else every other person involved should zip up their mouth.

I think u're misinterpreting the meaning of 'Dad'. A dad is the man who gave u life. Any man can be a father and not necessarily a dad. In this case ur dad is the man that accepted u, and not the man that probably rejected u and ur mother. You can trace your father to satisfy ur curiosity but don't break ur real dad's heart. Dads don't strike and run! If they do, just let them go.

Thanks a lot for the comments so far. Actually i have tried so hard to let sleeping dog lie since i was told about dis some 7 yrs back but deep inside me i have that urge to at least know my biological father. If i ask my mum, she will definitely ask who told me and if i tell her, that will surely be the begining of a war between her and my grandmum. I just dont know how to find my real dad without creating any trouble. This is a top secret that very few people know about.