Every once in a while, Nigerian public
figures are saying things that become
history, unfortunately, sometimes bad and
shameful history.
Here is the list of the worst 10 quotes of the
year 2013 in the descending order.
10) “I am the best rapper in Nigeria. If you
have an opposing opinion, now is the best time
to keep it to yourself”
Rapper Yung6ix having his imagined
Kendrick Lamar moment. Dear Yung6ix; make
good music, put out an album, put your name out
there. Maybe then we’ll take you seriously.
9) “Any academic staff who fails to resume on
or before December 4, 2013 automatically
ceases to be a staff of the institution and vice
chancellors are also directed to advertise
vacancies in their institutions.”
This was stated by Nyesom Wike, the
Education minister, in the middle of the lingering
ASUU strike. This caused even more problems
and deepened the crisis. Wike’s press conference
during which he was screaming at the microphone
and yelling threats became an instant visual
manual for government officials on how not to act
in public.
“I was not a tribalist when I had a long-
standing and intimate relationship with Miss
Bianca Onoh, an Igbo lady…”
Femi Fani Kayode, the former aviation
minister and presidential spokesman, while he had
so many disastrous statements, he got more than
he bargained for when in defending himself
against tribalism attacks,
bizarrely claimed to have had a sizzling
relationship with Bianca Ojukwu, widow of the
late Biafran warlord. He was forced to recant
when she threatened to sue him for every penny.
7) “We have stolen billions of dollars, what did
you do? We steal because you never stoned us
for it.”
Governor Rotimi Amechi of Rivers state makes
provocative statements one after after another.
His latest one was dropped at a tribute event for
Nelson Mandela some weeks back, and it was both
an indictment on himself as it was on his docile
followers.
6) “Come, sit on my laps and I will show you a
level of grace you do not understand.”
According to Ese Walters, repentant
adultress and misguided victim, senior
Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of the
Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly must have been
using these cringe worthy lines to score with
wide-eyed members of his female congregation.
The most surprising part of this line is that it
actually works. His sweet roll came to an end
when she published a tell all blog post revealing
the pastor’s many sexcapades. Pastor Fatoyinbo
is yet to deny Walters’ claims. And is yet to give
that robust response.
5) “As the president, I don’t know him (Abu
Shekau) and don’t know if he is dead or alive;
you journalists will know more than us. You are
the ones who talk to Boko Haram.”
In a presidential media chat, Goodluck
Ebele Jonathan pronounced the words
never to be spoken by a country’s chief security
officer. In denying the
whereabouts (and maybe existence) of Abu
Shekau, Boko Haram’s point man, Mr. President
took the war on terror 10 steps back.
4) “Yes, Patience Jonathan is my Jesus Christ!”
Now this would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. And
true. Evans Bipi of the Rivers state house of
assembly was speaking from the bottom of his
heart when he declared dame Patience Jonathan
(aka mama Peace) his deity as she was responsible
for his political career so far.
3) “I cannot categorically tell you one now…
the one we are going to make use of is going
to be made known by my oga at the top…”
Mr Obafaiye Shem, former Lagos state
commandant of the National Security and Civil
Defence Corps was asked a simple straight
forward question by the hosts of Channels tv’s
daily breakfast show. “What is the website of the
NSCDC?” It became his undoing as he went on a
rambling routine that did not produce the answer
to the question but succeeded in shedding light
on the pathetic state of affairs of our public
institutions.
2) “We do not pray for accidents but it is
inevitable… we do everything to ensure that we
do not have accidents, but it is an act of God.”
Stella Oduah, Aviation minister addressing
journalists 3 days after 16 people lost their lives
in the Associated airlines crash that was ferrying
the remains of Olusegun Agagu, a former aviation
minister. Of course, as it turned out, God had
nothing to do with this particular crash as the
Accident Investigation Bureau revealed that a
malfunctioning engine and a wrong call by the
pilot was most likely the cause.
1) “You are a widow… go and die”
Oh dear! Edo state governor, Comrade
Adams Oshiomhole became this year’s face of
insensitivity when he was recorded on video,
yelling at a poor widow displaying her wares
illegally by the roadside to go and die. He later
had tea with his victim and rewarded her
generously but still, that image lingers.

@EngrBakoji

d LOrd iS goOd!