Would you advise a young woman of 28 to marry a man who is 10 years older and who earns far lower than she does?

What's with the recent spate of one-line-posts asking for advice with little or no information?

@OP, are you seriously expecting decent responses to your question? If you can't be bothered to give a better background so we can picture the situation, then don't be offended if you get crappy response.

Smh!

What other information do u need? The girl is 10 years younger than the guy. She earns more than the guy...do u think it is advisable for her to consider this guy? They aren't dating yet but the guy is interested in her. Would she be acting in pride if she declines, or will it be foolishness to accept him?

NO!!!!!! Marriage is something young people don‘t appreciate how complex it is. An 18yr old who is still a boy should not be burdened or burden himself with the responsibilities that come with marriage. If you insist on marrying him you must wait until he is at least 25 by which time you will be 33( if you fancy that) but, even at that it is still daisy. You also suggested that you intend to carry the family by yourself. Again, this is a tactic by women that backfires most of the time.

Jon Tal: NO!!!!!! Marriage is something young people don‘t appreciate how complex it is. An 18yr old who is still a boy should not be burdened or burden himself with the responsibilities that come with marriage. If you insist on marrying him you must wait until he is at least 25 by which time you will be 33( if you fancy that) but, even at that it is still daisy. You also suggested that you intend to carry the family by yourself. Again, this is a tactic by women that backfires most of the time.

The girl is 28 the guy is 10 years older. That means he is 38 but the girl earns more...

ellamines: The girl is 28 the guy is 10 years older. That means he is 38 but the girl earns more...

what's the problem there? the boy is happy, the girl is happy. if they are in love, why not? so because the guy doesn't earn as much as the girl, they shouldn't marry?

Op,


What do you understand about marriage?

What are the real things to consider in marriage? I am not talking about ephemeral things you listed here.


If you can answer these two questions, I will take it from there.

bellong: Op,
What do you understand about marriage?
What are the real things to consider in marriage? I am not talking about ephemeral things you listed here.
If you can answer these two questions, I will take it from there.

Thank You Bellong!

Fancy him/her asking childish questions and expecting decent answers in response.

ellamines: What other information do u need? The girl is 10 years younger than the guy. She earns more than the guy...do u think it is advisable for her to consider this guy? They aren't dating yet but the guy is interested in her. Would she be acting in pride if she declines, or will it be foolishness to accept him?

What do you think?

Bellong, speaking from a woman's view, I think it may be too much for her to handle. If a woman is going to be the bread winner of a home, carry pregnancies and bring forth children, wouldn't it be too much a load for her? Would it b just as easy to submit to your husband under these conditions?

ellamines: Bellong, speaking from a woman's view, I think it may be too much for her to handle. If a woman is going to be the bread winner of a home, carry pregnancies and bring forth children, wouldn't it be too much a load for her? Would it b just as easy to submit to your husband under these conditions?

Though you have not answered my questions, I will respond to what you raised. Is a woman not supposed to be an help meet to her husband? How then will the person you mentioned become the breadwinner when the husband is not jobless?

The fact that she earns more money in salary does not make her the breadwinner. How sure are you the man doesn't have other means of income to supplement what he has?

If you/your friend cannot look at the bigger picture in a man's life other than money in marriage, I am afraid you may miss the best thing union can afford.

Bellong, you are not helping either. Of course a woman must support her husband in every way that she can but is d man ready to support d woman in this case? Or will his ego get in the way and suddenly remind him that he's d man of the house? For instance, when a woman brings in more money, it's not an issue but when the man has to help out with some other stuff like say house chores when the woman is not available, it appears on the headlines (big issue). So what would u advise? This person needs help, so if you have any, offer it. Don't be harsh.

Who are we to advise for or against the marriage when we don't even know the circumstance/s that surrounds their union? What I'll just say here is that there is more to marriage than salary and age! There are so many underlying factors that make a marriage work apart from the ones 3rd parties can see.

If and when they start dating, the lady will get to know him better and that is when she needs to bother herself with this question.

Candy, please throw more light. Things like what?

ellamines: Bellong, you are not helping either. Of course a woman must support her husband in every way that she can but is d man ready to support d woman in this case? Or will his ego get in the way and suddenly remind him that he's d man of the house? For instance, when a woman brings in more money, it's not an issue but when the man has to help out with some other stuff like say house chores when the woman is not available, it appears on the headlines (big issue). So what would u advise? This person needs help, so if you have any, offer it. Don't be harsh.

There is no way I can advise someone without any information about the character of the man involved. That was why Efemena said you didn't give enough information.

I do not know the man nor your friend/you to know whether the man will see it as a big deal. My sister, you are the one not helping matter here. Can you talk about the person of the man?

Jon Tal: NO!!!!!! Marriage is something young people don‘t appreciate how complex it is. An 18yr old who is still a boy should not be burdened or burden himself with the responsibilities that come with marriage. If you insist on marrying him you must wait until he is at least 25 by which time you will be 33( if you fancy that) but, even at that it is still daisy. You also suggested that you intend to carry the family by yourself. Again, this is a tactic by women that backfires most of the time.

My guy open ur eyes and read jooor. Mtsheeew

ellamines: Candy, please throw more light. Things like what?

If you don't get close to someone, you can't know if you are compatible, if you can stick each other. You are a third party(if you are not the girl In question), hence, all you know about this guy and the babe are not what should help them decide if they should get married or not!

They may not even be operating on the same frequency here. You posed your question as if you already know that the guy will ask the girl out, they will date and he will propose marriage. If he earns less than her and he is caring, committed to the relationship, kind etc, he may be a good candidate if that is what matters to this lady. But for a lady who prefers to have financial security from a guy, even with all the good attributes, marriage to the guy will not work!

I still say your post is shallow and it's making it difficult for people to give meaningful advice. For instance; why are you the one asking this question and not the lady or the guy? What's your stake in this? Is the lady even aware that the guy has plans for her

@ Candy, thanks for your contribution. If u read up the thread, you'd see where I stated that this guy expressed his interest in her. He proposed! When I listen to her, I can hear and see her fears maybe cos I'd feel d same fears too as a single lady. This guy is not a bad person from all I've learnt, but u see fear has a way of crippling one from doing things,which in this case is giving this guy a chance. I do not want to fuel her fears in as much as I understand them, and I don't want to give her any wrong counsel...this is a friend to friend gist that she doesn't talk about much. So, I threw it open here on nairaland, to get some help esp from married people here. I don't think there's any harm in that.

U said they are not dating yet but the guy proposed. Kinda confusing.

Anyway deciding to maRry someone takes a lot, its a lifetime commitment so let her weigh her options, think well and pray.

ellamines: Would you advise a young woman of 28 to marry a man who is 10 years older and who earns far lower than she does?

What other information do u need? The girl is 10 years younger than the guy. She earns more than the guy...do u think it is advisable for her to consider this guy? They aren't dating yet but the guy is interested in her. Would she be acting in pride if she declines, or will it be foolishness to accept him?

Bellong, you are not helping either. Of course a woman must support her husband in every way that she can but is d man ready to support d woman in this case? Or will his ego get in the way and suddenly remind him that he's d man of the house? For instance, when a woman brings in more money, it's not an issue but when the man has to help out with some other stuff like say house chores when the woman is not available, it appears on the headlines (big issue). So what would u advise? This person needs.

@ Candy, thanks for your contribution. If u read up the thread, you'd see where I stated that this guy expressed his
interest in her. He proposed!

I read up your thread and copied all your posts here, no single mention of the proposal! The last you mentioned was that they weren't even dating yet. I guess I'm not the only one who didn't see the proposal aspect though, the poster before me obviously didn't see it too! Kindly point it out.

Ok noted. I'm sorry about that . I said 'interested'. He approached her and asked her out for a relationship that would lead to marriage. She hasn't given him a reply because of these factors...she feels it could work but her fears are stopping her from trying. Is it worth a try?

ellamines: Would you advise a young woman of 28 to marry a man who is 10 years older and who earns far lower than she does?

Why not if that's what makes them happy.

ellamines: Would you advise a young woman of 28 to marry a man who is 10 years older and who earns far lower than she does?

The simple answer to this question is no.

And this man is born, bred and buttered in Naija? Unless she has triple the normal dose of 'submissiveness' to render, then hell no!

if datz all the problem b4 her, then there is no problem except she want to be a problem for her future.
The age difference is ok. the difference in earnings shouldnt to an issue @ ol unless the lady in quetn is too proud to be a 'wife'....a wife should be a 'helpmeet' and how much help she can render shouldnt be limited for any reason. If the lady cant cope in this case, then she may nt likely copy with any other man even if the man is bill gate....
Itz beta u know, understand and appreciate the values of relationsp/marriage and what can make u have a happy one; MONEY is secondary and never a function of happiness.

op let me believe you are not the one

How huge or small is the difference in their earnings? This is important, if its a meagre 10/20k, it can be overlooked. More so if she is okay with every other thing about him, what's the biggy

However is it so difficult to submit to submit to your man simply cos you earn more? A respectful lady will be submissive whether or not she earns more than the husband

@ op this is the summary of everything

kulyie: @ op this is the summary of everything

Kulyie on point for the first time in recent times

shizzle11:
Kulyie on point for the first time in recent times

lolllzzzzz when its time for home truth,it has to be spilled when a man fvks up,he should be caned,when a woman fvks up too she she should be thrashed.i am not a blind feminist,i believe in equality

i dash you one like

kulyie: lolllzzzzz when its time for home truth,it has to be spilled when a man fvks up,he should be caned,when a woman fvks up too she she should be thrashed.i am not a blind feminist,i believe in equality

pickabeau1: i dash you one like

ose jare