Kimoni:


Feeling is nothing, seeing is everything

Okay you win jor

Alakoba

jaybee3:


I had to beg before commenting on the thread ooo but then again i could have easily come out as a girl considering my Ma only managed to buck the trend at the 7th try.

Only boy and last born.



I like you too hence why ive been stalking you...
Just ordinary like ooo.

naijababe:


Picture or adonbilivit

You too?

Choi see serious gobe

jaybee3:

You too?

Choi see serious gobe

No excuses, put up the goods.

I'm enjoying this thread more!!!

It's Fun and Enlightening too.

Unlike the other...

keppyy:
I'm enjoying this thread more!!!

It's Fun and Enlightening too.

Unlike the other...

I fee the same way.

jaybee3:


Feeling is believing dear

Wipes off make up
Ties scarf
Picks Bible and sprints to midweek prayer meeting

Naijababe oya o!
I dey come pick you
Shurcheeeee ya ooooooo
Before our eye see bad ting o!

tearoses:



Wipes off make up
Ties scarf
Picks Bible and sprints to midweek prayer meeting

Naijababe oya o!
I dey come pick you
Shurcheeeee ya ooooooo
Before our eye see bad ting o!

I come against every spirit that is pushing me to see bad sontin

freecocoa:
I fee the same way.

It was more like a battlefield with long speeches as the weapon.

keppyy:


It was more like a battlefield with long speeches as the weapon.

I'm telling you, reason why I wasn't active on it.

I just hope this one continues.

naijababe:
Freecocoa, when inconsequential reasons are given for walking out of a relationship by a sensible woman like yourself it's best to just walk away. It means there is no 'juzj' ( Juzj - loving and wanting to be with someone with careless abandon). In my books, you gotta have the juzj to marry someone

You might be right, but I remember when I was very passionate about this relationship sha.

I will do a lot of soul searching, you all are the best, aren't I lucky to have you all here.

I've never had a friend (female or male), as in true friend...

I'm really bothered now because there's a saying that we attract who we are and I know I'm not a horrible Person (maybe I think so)...

Maybe I have a body odour (impossible) which nobody has complained about...

My brother said I attract 'fake' people and he has never liked any of my girlfriends...

I must admit, I'm bothered...

I tried making some online but people thought I was psycho...

freecocoa:
You might be right, but I remember when I was very passionate about this relationship sha.

I will do a lot of soul searching, you all are the best, aren't I lucky to have you all here.

Passionate about the relationship when it was new and there was wonder/awe vs. passionate about the person which although tempers with time remains overly present.

May the force be with you babes

Now my life sucks...

I'm so bored and I'm down.

Zero social life...





I'll be back.

naijababe:


Passionate about the relationship when it was new and there was wonder/awe vs. passionate about the person which although tempers with time remains overly present.

May the force be with you babes

I understand, I believe I was passionate about him but I guess I stayed glued to his flaws and that dampened my spirit.

keppyy:
I've never had a friend (female or male), as in true friend...

I'm really bothered now because there's a saying that we attract who we are and I know I'm not a horrible Person (maybe I think so)...

Maybe I have a body odour (impossible) which nobody has complained about...

My brother said I attract 'fake' people and he has never liked any of my girlfriends...

I must admit, I'm bothered...

I tried making some online but people thought I was psycho...

I understand the feeling, I'm not one with many friends as well, yet even among the few I have, sometimes I feel like some aren't as real as I'd want them to be.

I don't think the problem's all you, so don't beat yourself up just yet.


Where do you meet your friends? Are you an outdoor person?

Kimoni:
Jaybee3, Damiso, tearoses, TV01, Sagamite, naijababe, Coogar, anybody else that can help pls

Pls who has any information about Devere Group?? Their website is nice and all but I read some very bad reviews about them online. I need information about their pay, bonuses, working conditions etc. They have been sending me some series of invites which I have ignored so far because I think there is something fishy about them but they are quite persistent. I want to know if I should bother with them at all on Friday.

Buka et al. - pls sorry to bump your discssuion. Abeg no vex. I just need to make up my mind urgently.

Stop using style to invite men to y'alls thread

freecocoa:
I understand the feeling, I'm not one with many friends as well, yet even among the few I have, sometimes I feel like some aren't as real as I'd want them to be.

I don't think the problem's all you, so don't beat yourself up just yet.


Where do you meet your friends? Are you an outdoor person?

I've never made a friend, they all make me...

I'm outdoor person but I'm forced in because it's boring going out alone...

keppyy:



I've never made a friend, they all make me...

I'm outdoor person but I'm forced in because it's boring going out alone...

Wow! I might be wrong but it sounds like, you became friends with them, not because you want to but because they initiated it, now if that's the case, you have to take a step back and ask yourself what you want in a friend, then be that person when you meet a person that catches your fancy.

Why have you never tried making a friend?

And I used to think outdoor people have many friends unlike us, who can stay inside a room for days and not even notice.

@keppyy, find a common ground where u can meet people u like and take it from there.

If it's football, start visiting viewing center.


Also be willing to pass a compliment when necessary or even a warm smile is enuf.
One step at a time.

tearoses:


Ah It wasnt bad o!
It was a little messy cos I had to grate the cauliflower and it went everywhere
It tasted not too different from chinese fried rice
Very healthy too as there was no rice involved.
But I will always choose the real thing over it if I had a choice though

Beauty is pain

netotse:


Stop using style to invite men to y'alls thread

Okay okay okay, netotse pls come in and feel free, no need for this style style you are using to post here

We are very accommodating pls

@keppyy,I wanna be your friend,well your online friend,what ur say

freecocoa:
I knew you'd ask.

Well, Everyone that knows me thinks me intelligent.

On a more serious note, it just kinda is obvious, I lack words, I don't want to appear proud.

Lols!

I will say intelligence is not useful in a relationship if you do not know when to give in and when to fight through

You might also be mistaking intelligence for exposure.

@Keppy: Ask your brother for his honest feedback. First step

MizMyColi:
Hi Freecocoa

I wish I could make this shorter, but this is a sista speaking to another from the heart.
I can't help it.
So!
Let's hope you're not averse to 'em' epistles.



I know the feeling.
In a nutshell, He loves you wayyy more than you love him, and you see in him, more of a friend/bedrock...than someone you really have the hots for, and tsk, let's drop the theory of idealism here....these things matter.

Ultimately we want to be with someone whom we not just truly love, but truly desire.
The love you have for him is there.
Desire is what isn't.

And it kinda makes you somewhat ashamed that you're looking for more, that spark. You don't wanna be seen as the "oliver twisty kinda person who wants it all" - when in reality, there's never really a 100% in these kinda things.

Perhaps, just maybe, he's really attractive and adorable and admirable in ways that you do not envisage.

Well dearie, this is life, and it is what we make of it.
I have always said that openness, sincerity and trust is the only way we can have meaningful relationships.

Have you considered talking with him?
Do you think his ego would be battered if you were to SINCERELY talk about things that you like/do not like about eachother, warts and all?

Come to think of it, has it occurred to you that there might be warts and rough edges about you he's equally not soooo cool with?

I mean, it's always easy doling out our true-to-type-esque specifications on the kind of man we want, right?
But what about us, are we really the kind of women they want?

Or did they make peace with things they couldn't change about us, and decided to love us silly? Your guess is as good as mine.

Your post gives the impression you're a perfectionist. Most perfectionists have these kind of nagging issues, so just so you know...
You're not alone

Ultimately love, it is your life, and you are in charge of your happiness.
The decision behoves on you to decide whether you want to compromise ( oh, let me add here that I've seen folks who started out this way and are far better for it today. They grew into the business of loving)

Or...

You can let go, knowing fully well, that you think you deserve more, better, and then hope that whoever he is, wherever he is, the universe would cause a lifetime connection between you two....in the fullness of time.

Whichever it is, Godspeed

Well written..

@freecoca you are a selfish womangirl....do you think he too does not have some complains about you...

kevinberry:


Well written..

@freecoca you are a selfish womangirl....do you think he too does not have some complains about you...

Na wa o, how can he not have complains? I'm not perfect and I know this.

We are discussing this from my angle, so excuse me if it appears selfish, I do have the right to want things.

.

jaybee3:


What's a gyelwuman?

I've got the D and i'm pretty sure it's way better than the one tollu described

Hehehe, correct guy!

BABE3:


The religion issue is much more important than his height. So, I'll eat my words; I'm not sure it's advisable to go on with the relationship..... but what do I know? I can imagine how you make the poor fella feel during your religion arguments. Smh.

When you say you're more intelligent than him, I perfectly understand.

Lets say you guys end up together, when you start poping put kids, are you guys going to teach them to be atheists or Christians or half-and-half? Will your kids go to church?

What of his family members? Are they gonna be okay with him marrying an atheist/"devil's agent"?

God forbid something bad happens to him or both of you. Maybe he loses his job; I picture him blaming it on you. I picture him telling you its a sign that God wants you to change your ways.

What about him gan-gan? It's easier said than done. He probably hasn't thought about this as he should. He's probably just high on love, and not thinking practically.


Now, best case scenarios,
1) you convert back to Christianity
2) he joins you on your atheism journey.
3) both of you (including family) accept and respect each other's views on religion.

I know don't see "1" and "3" happening. So "2" is your best bet. Get to work!

Oh, before I forget, if you decide you're done with the relationship, I know a handsome atheist fella in the religion section looking for love; tall, dark, and smart. Holla..

Religion is not the issue at all. She loves the way he loves her but not him at all. Infact, it is the main if not only right thing she sees in him. Had she loved him, she will be the one trying to accomodate the religion and other issues. Truth is, even if the guy was an antheist having the other issues she listed, her feelings for him wouldnt have been any better.

Everyone needs a healthy level of self esteem but the her i see is quite full of herself. I dont know whether it will get better with age or by some bitter experience but i pray she make effort to balance herself with lesser cost because she do need some humble pie.

I cant say for sure if the attributes of the guy are a total turn off for her person because she is viewing them from a wrong pedestal. The problem in standing on that pedestal is that she will readily embrace a guy whom she thinks is one same level or at par with her realm to the point of over looking his fault that may be deadly to her in the long run. If she can get to the point where she realised that the height she thinks she has attained is not because she has really worked harder for it than a person who is lesser but that the giver of grace made or allowed it so, then she might really come to honestly love him. On the other hand, if she still cant love him then it will be she is not into him.

freecocoa:
Wow! I might be wrong but it sounds like, you became friends with them, not because you want to but because they initiated it, now if that's the case, you have to take a step back and ask yourself what you want in a friend, then be that person when you meet a person that catches your fancy.

Why have you never tried making a friend?

And I used to think outdoor people have many friends unlike us, who can stay inside a room for days and not even notice.

I don't know how...

I'm friendly, Outspoken and Nice (a little bit) but I don't know how.

Now, I don't go out much...

moca:
@keppyy, find a common ground where u can meet people u like and take it from there.

If it's football, start visiting viewing center.


Also be willing to pass a compliment when necessary or even a warm smile is enuf.
One step at a time.

I pass compliments always and I smile a lot...

I'm not searching for casual friends but deep friendships...

I admire when I see girls hang out together and go through life together but I also feel bad that I'll not have all that.

I was very close to GirL A back then and she had an extra year and kept lying about it, I asked because I really cared but she kept it on...I just felt I meant nothing to her...

Girl B, distance moved us apart but I've tried to keep in touch but it just feels that I'm the only one making all the efforts...She had issues in her marriage and told my Ex (that she met through me), although I confronted her about that she said it's because I did not call her and I really felt bad because I've always called but I was tired of pulling us together alone and I stopped.

As for the male species, the single ones don't want to be friendzoned and the girls of the hooked-up fellas don't believe in 'pure friendship'.

Cc: freecocoa

@toliu, love is truly a decision

@GHojes, You give it out as you think...nice write-up