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Read this, Somebody - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 8:19pm On Aug 11, 2008
The Day I Forgot to Wake

Day broke
others woke
Sun shone, maybe sun forgot to try
to cringe my pupils
like he was wont to try.
Time, insensitive as time
ticked on, inscrutable.
He to whom a pause
on good Friday was
impossible.
Can he now at least
two millenniums older, learn rest?
Only rain, unsalinated
dropped on me
from eyes of strangers
for eyes of lovers
now focus on others
who woke
when day broke
and I alone forgot even to try
and carry but an eiderdown
to frosty six feet down.

Time will not have learnt
stop
when I shall remember
a new way
to wake.

Note: SOS Mactao, Where Are You Now?
Re: Read this, Somebody by Nella(f): 3:04pm On Aug 13, 2008
Aww I love it! Nice,
Re: Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 8:04pm On Aug 16, 2008
Thanx Nella.
U write too?
Re: Read this, Somebody by Nella(f): 10:42pm On Aug 16, 2008
I write, but not poems.
I do like poems thou, but only some kinds.
I'm not a big fan of those "love, love" poems, because anyone can write those.
Re: Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 7:59pm On Aug 21, 2008
Would love 2 read one of ur stuffz?
I dont have all the time now else I'd have typed ur name in the search tab. Y don't u hit me with some links or don't u post ur work on this site?
Re: Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 7:16pm On Aug 22, 2008
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=157871.msg2619813#msg2619813

Nella, check that link out. It has a love poem on it. BEFORE u press that button, just know that it's a different kind of love poem. Its psychological setting is actually the aftermath of the persona's strong love.

Hit me when u've seen it.
Re: Read this, Somebody by Nobody: 7:50pm On Aug 22, 2008
@nanaboi
You expressed yourself well in that poem, in the sense that you didn't get bogged down with all the rhythm and rhyme rules and all of that, and still you produced something wonderful. Writing about time is something I think is horrendously difficult, and you pulled it off well. Bravo!
Re: Read this, Somebody by Lovelace: 9:40pm On Aug 23, 2008
@nanaboi
"Day i forgot to wake",is a deliberately vague write up.
'time,insensitive as time ticked on,inscrutable". I liked this part best.

Time is a mystery,and orphic in nature, that is, it's beyond ordinary understanding like the sun,moon and stars. It is really insensitive.
Re: Read this, Somebody by Nella(f): 5:24pm On Aug 24, 2008
nanaboi:

Would love 2 read one of your stuffs?
I don't have all the time now else I'D have typed your name in the search tab. Y don't u hit me with some links or don't u post your work on this site?

no, I don't post my work . . . .

nanaboi:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=157871.msg2619813#msg2619813

Nella, check that link out. It has a love poem on it. BEFORE u press that button, just know that it's a different kind of love poem. Its psychological setting is actually the aftermath of the persona's strong love.

Hit me when u've seen it.


Ok, yea . . . . It is a good write up u got there.
I like something like that. like you said, it's an aftermath, which gives it a very solid touch. And that is one of the features that can make a love poem bearable, at lest to me. It's not like I have any problem with d love, love poems, but for e.g : Check this poem section on Nl, it's all full of them, showing you that it's just too easy, any one can pick a pen and start spitting colourful words of love and call it a poem.
But like I said,  that one you got there in the link is an aftermath which makes it more solid and makes it stand out from the usual colourful ones.

But then again, just because I'm not a fan of these type of poems doesn't mean I wouldn't acknowledge or credit someone if they do a good job writing one.
It's just good for people to write something different, instead of the everday "I love you bla bla bla" . Just as you did writting the Time one above . . . .
Re: Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 6:43pm On Aug 28, 2008
@ mactao
U finally read it. Thanx just 4 doing that.

@ Nella
U think it's unsafe posting here? R u published yet?
Looks to me like I'm not the only one who doesn't love to see boring stuff, or cliched topics or approaches to same. May I ask something(s) u mustn't answer - though I hope u will answer, is it just the topic that bores u, or does the concept bore u too? I mean, are u in love? Can u really stay in it (love) the way majority of those works that u loathe portray it? Or have u developed ur own meaning of it?

@Lovelace
Ur comment is generous; I am grateful.
Re: Read this, Somebody by Lovelace: 9:38pm On Aug 28, 2008
Most welcome.
Keep 'em coming. I'd try to post more often,seems the forum's thinning out though.
Re: Read this, Somebody by candide(f): 4:36am On Sep 01, 2008
beautiful poem
Re: Read this, Somebody by Nella(f): 5:59pm On Sep 01, 2008
nanaboi:

@ mactao
You finally read it. Thanx just 4 doing that.

@ Nella
You think it's unsafe posting here? R u published yet?
Looks to me like I'm not the only one who doesn't love to see boring stuff, or cliched topics or approaches to same. May I ask something(s) u mustn't answer - though I hope u will answer, is it just the topic that bores u, or does the concept bore u too? I mean, are u in love? Can u really stay in it (love) the way majority of those works that u loathe portray it? Or have u developed your own meaning of it?

@Lovelace
your comment is generous; I am grateful.

I don't think it's unsafe posting here, I just don't see the point of doing so. . . .
And no, I'm not published yet.

To answer ur questions . . .

My not liking these sort of poems has nothing to do with the concept of love itself, Cuz yes, I am in luv and I can stay in it.
I just don't see how someone would pick up a pen and start writing something soo . . . annoying?. . . . . I don't know . . . I just find them boring and annoying.
I mean, haven't you got something more useful or sophisticated to do or write with ur time?
I simply don't have the patience.
It's just d same way some girls don't like the colour Pink.

And like I said b4, everyone is writing\can write them, so where is the point?
Re: Read this, Somebody by nanaboi(m): 5:45pm On Sep 09, 2008
I feel u Nella.
I'd give an arm and a leg to fall in love.

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