Wow!

Nice piece Onyinye2,

is it a reflection of what u are going through?

I once felt this way towards my dad, but now we have a better relationship

@onyinye2

Now that's deeply moving. . .I'm super curious but I'll try not to ask

wow,
this is very moving

As much as some people believe that they can create and equate rules on love, there is no formula for love. There is honestly no need for a juggling act, or flip personalities, or “be nice but not too nice” or “be mean but not too mean” etc. In the end, love is or it isn’t, either you have it or you don’t, either the two of you are a match or next!

I was talking to my cousin about his sometimes-crude behavior. His straightforward explanation was that women like assholes. He continued to explain that only after he became rude did he begin to get more attention from the ladies and the numbers came flowing in. As much as I wanted to argue with him about it, I couldn’t because even the girl who was with me said she found it “sexy”. However, it’s a known fact that women are infatuated with bad boys but in the end they fall in love and marry the good men.

But why do bad boys catch a woman’s attention quicker?? I think when a guy is rude to a woman, it makes her wonder why is he rude? And how can she change it? This usually results in talking to the guy more and spending more time with him. It seems like they are either consciously or subconsciously trying to prove their worth to him like “I am worth your attention, worth your time, worth your energy…etc”.

[img]http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-15805195.jpg?size=67&uid={3ec468d5-991d-4ae3-bb96-239d8ed966a3}[/img]

The flaw with the bad boy theory is that, what begins as a method of creating curiosity and attraction can also in that same process produce frustration. When a woman is frustrated, she easily makes irrational decisions. The more passionate she is about the man, the more irrational she thinks. She reaches a point where she feels like it’s become a game to him.

Frustration of that sort can make a woman feel like she has no control, and when ladies feel like they don’t have any kind of control, they set out to prove they still have “it”. They scroll through their little black book, go shopping for that to-die-for outfit or lingerie, put on strong their flirty behavior, and pretty much polish their ego. It’s left for the guy to realize that his competitors are on the prowl therefore he can either choose to drop the act, or be stubborn and in the end miss out on a good relationship. Either way, it disproves the idea that being an asshole gets you the girl.

They might take down your number, call you up a couple of times, go out of a few dates, and if you’re lucky enough you could even convince them to be with you, but once you have pushed a woman into the realms of frustration (which many guys with the asshole mentality do in the end) all that work has ultimately been wasted effort.

The solution:
Just be yourself; no acts, and no hidden meanings to anything. Never purposely hurt a woman you care about. Let her see you for you at all times because if you are an inconsiderate douchebag one day and Prince Charming the next, she never really gets to see who you really are and that just isn’t fair to you or her. Lastly, communicate! Lack of communication is one of the greatest downfalls of man. When you understand your woman and her needs, she is less inclined to get frustrated in the situations that have been previously explained.

The solution:
Just be yourself; no acts, and no hidden meanings to anything. Never purposely hurt a woman you care about. Let her see you for you at all times because if you are an inconsiderate douchebag one day and Prince Charming the next, she never really gets to see who you really are and that just isn’t fair to you or her. Lastly, communicate! Lack of communication is one of the greatest downfalls of man. When you understand your woman and her needs, she is less inclined to get frustrated in the situations that have been previously explained

You noted the vital points. . .

Be real . . .

No pretences. . .

And also be sincere

Oh yes! Be sincere. No B.S.

StephenP:
His straightforward explanation was that women like assholes. When a woman is frustrated, she easily makes irrational decisions. The more passionate she is about the man, the more irrational she thinks.

I did the bad-boy thingy back in university and it sure worked - honest truth. A'course I know why it worked; it was just like StephenP said - except for one detail: IT never BACK-FIRED. Why: because I never cared either way. See, it only turns sour for you (the guys I mean) if you really care about the girl; on the other hand, if you are just in for the fun - like moi! - then all you gotta do when the cat turns mean is forget her, cast out your line (or line[b]s[/b] ) and look for another fish.

Yes, I know all that sounds cruel and heartless, but the fact is most girls would rather hang with a bad, dontgivashit guy than a good, home-grown one. But there's still hope shaa: in the end, the girls get wiser and then the good "chineke" boys can have their turn . Guess that's what maturity is all about. Heck, I'm matured now; can't even remember the last time I chykd a sista.

word!
the dating game is full of BS
and pretence
its so stifling
only because everyone wants to act in a certain way to find the "right" person
i say BS!
be urself n dont give a damn wat folks say as long as ur at peace with urself n those that matter the most
dressing up or acting to impress another is down right pathetic to say the least

Hi StephenP,

Can i have an interview with you?


https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-191518.224.html

Thanks

Have you ever compared a party to a jungle? What kinds of animals would you see?
Well I decided to use this past restless weekend to figure out the different kinds of animals I see when I walk into a club.

The King of the Jungle

The Lion is the master of this jungle. They command attention with their physique, style, and overall character. They are respected by other males even their enemies. They are no stranger to the ladies because rumor has it that they are the epitome of masculinity (strong, protector, provider, etc) and all good things women want in a man. These men are of high demand. They are the ones who have the ladies giggling and blushing in less than five minutes of the conversation. But the lions are rarely seen because they keep a low profile.

The Tigers are next in line for the throne.

They dress well and all that, but they are unpredictable. They are solitary creatures except when it comes to the ladies. They are the ones in the club who remain in the shadows till they are on the dance floor or when they have found a mate for the night. These are the ones mainly seen at parties, and they are sometimes mistaken for lions.

The sloths are slow to strike, that is if they do any striking at all.

They are usually the shy ones who seat at the bar or wherever and hope a girl/guy would start a conversation with them. They are genuinely nice, but boring. So interest in them hardly generates.

The peafowl (peacock and peahen) are the beauties of the party.

They are the ones that get heads turning. As for the peahen, her appearance is everything. Her dress accentuates her curves or it’s heightened to the point of complete and utter teasing to all male around. Either way she is gorgeous and she knows it. She is cocky as hell; so don’t step to her unless you have something to offer. As for the peacock he is always the first to get hot and therefore needs to take off his shirt. He is also cocky, and so assumes he is doing the lady a favor when flirting with her. Some women are too mesmerized by the peacock to realize the ego problem.

The chimpanzees are the majority in the club.

They come to have fun and essentially “monkey around.” For the males, you can see them beating their chest and grunting out loud. They may be sometimes rude, but usually it’s all in the name of fun. They (both male and female) are the best dancers, first and last on the floor. First to get drunk and usually the loudest people who sing along to every song they know. They are also the most promiscuous, both male and female. It is well known among their group and those around them of the infidelities that occur.

The chickens are the part of the bottom scrappers.

They are the not so hot looking girls that talk a lot. They can be loud and annoying, but for the men they are easy prey.

The snakes are the most conniving and dangerous of all.

They sneak up on you and crawl into your skin (metaphorically speaking). They are seductive, though they provoke anger once you’ve realized what you’ve done. They stalk their prey and wait for the right moment to strike. For those who like to drink too much, these snakes are watching you and are ready to get inside your panties or your wallet.

Last and the least are the vultures.

They come in at the end of the night to finish off where the other left off. They are the ugly ones who have gotten nothing all night and are desperate to leave the club with anything especially your number.

The men vultures look for the girl with the lowest self-esteem, who has been given little to no attention all night, in addition to the fact that she has had a lot to drink and well, the rest is history.

The women vultures wait outside the club to see the car homeboy, (who she was dissin earlier on at the party) is driving…and now she suddenly begins to feel him.

Hope you had a good laugh.

So…
There is an animal in all of us…are you on the list? Which one are you?

i think its hard for one person to fit perfectly into a group
i however do not fit any group

A close up on StephenP

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-191518.768.html

this thread got my attention and i had to post this

its the most intruiging thread on nl

Hi,
Happy birthday.
Knowledge of love remains a mystery as long as we do not know it.
There are key three things to know about love.
1.Source of love.
2.Types of love3
3.How to love and how to be loved.
There are many books out there for more fantastic knowledge.
Once again happy birthday.

Great work. I'll be back with mine soon.

we really had some good topics on here. . .